Dr gives Grandma two weeks at the most....
She is has not been eating for a couple of days now. She did drink something today though. A hospice nurse will come in to make sure she is comfortable. I was still in too much pain today so I didn't go to visit her. I am feeling a bit better this evening so we are definitely going tomorrow. I don't care how much pain I am in. She's old and has had enough of life. I guess I understand that but it's hard for me. Especially since this is my second Grandmother that has decided she was DONE. It sucks!! At least she got to see Hayley walk and call her by her name. We actually didn't think she would make it to see Hayley born. She was in the hospital 3 weeks before Hayley was born and told the family she was dying, (She had had a TIA - mini stroke). But she got better and when Hayley was born she seemed to be rejuvenated. She's call me every day and ask "What's Hayley doing today?" even when all she did was eat, sleep and poop. 
The next question was "When are you coming down?" Please wish me luck so I can stay strong through this!! |
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| I will be thinking about you and your family. These things are so
hard. I hope for peace for your Grandmother, whatever else comes. Shellie |
| Thank you Shellie, we appreciate that! |
| Elissa, I am so glad you are hooked up with Hospice, as a part time Hospice nurse for many years I can tell you they will be a huge help to your grandmother and your family. I hope you have the opportunity to spend some time with your grandmother before she dies, but if you are not feeling well enough know that you have had a life time with her and all those memories are there inside you both.
I hope she is comfotable and peaceful in the coming days and that you and your family are able to find peace through the process as well. ((((HUGS)))) |
Pepsi's Mommy wrote: ......She's old and has had enough of life. I guess I understand that but it's hard for me. Especially since this is my second Grandmother that has decided she was DONE. It sucks!!
Please wish me luck so I can stay strong through this!! Elissa, I don't know your grandmothers religion, but she must feel that she's right with the Lord to have an inner peace that welcome's death. (Or, maybe you should talk to her about that.) If she were a lot younger one could be angry with her for "being done" with life. Hon, she's tired. She's given all the love and wisdom she has to give. Her body and mind have become frail, although her heart remains strong and full of love. The love she has for her family is giving her the strength to take her final journey. She is at peace within, even before the grave. She looks now to the elders behind her, to take over in her place. She knows the love you have for her and one another will strengthen you, and you'll one day get beyond the sadness of her passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I know this is hard, but love conquers all. I have a neice that lives next door. Her Grandma lives with her. She too, faces what you face. She has less than a week left. God be with you all. May He comfort you and let His love shine down upon your hearts. Pam |
| Love and support from us, Elissa. |
| Sorry to hear about your grandma Elissa.
When my Gran died she had refused to eat or drink also. She had alzheimers and and hadn't recognised me as her grandaughter for a year or more.2 days before she died she seemed to come round and was calling me by her pet name she used to call me when i was a child.That night i kissed her goodnight and told her i loved her and she told me she loved me and how much she had enjoyed having me around then she fell asleep and never woke again. Stay strong Elissa .I will be thinking about you. Julianne |
| Dear Elissa,
Our prayers are with your Grandmother, you and your family. May God provide his loving Grace for comfort and Peace during this family time. He will surround your Grandmother with his Love. Please take care of yourself and family, your Grandma needs your strength and support. |
| I'm so sorry Elissa... that must be so hard on all of you....
You'll be in our thoughts. |
| Elissa,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God give you all the peace and serenity needed to get through the death of your grandmother. Hugs |
| Elissa,
I will keep you and your family in my prayers. |
| Thanks Everyone for your kind words and support.
It means a lot to me. I am just waiting for Hayley to wake up and we are off to Grandma's house. |
| I feel for you and your family Elissa - you are in my thoughts and prayers. |
| My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family, Elissa. It's hard letting go, even when you know it's time. |
I'm sorry your grandma is facing her final days. It sounds like she is ready though, and at peace. As a nurse, I am continully amazed at how the change comes about when someone is ready to die. I just hope when my time comes, it's like that. Just give her love and support and let her know it's OK to let go. I think it's the most selfless gift a family member can do for a loved one.  |
| Sending you (((((((HUGS)))))))))) Elissa
Kim & maizie |
| Sorry to hear of your grandmother.
I am sending big hugs your way...  |
| Elissa, I know it's hard and my prayers are with you and your family. |
| Elissa, I know how hard this is on you and your family, since you're so close to your grandmother. But I admire her for her clarity and calmness in her final days. She's had a long, wonderful life and look how many lives she's touched! She will live in your heart forever. |
| I'm sorry, Elissa. I know it isn't the most consoling thing, but feel lucky that you've had her this long. All my grandparents were dead before I was 14 and I always wish that I had them even a little longer. |
| I'm thinking of you, Elissa. I was going to say the same thing as Jill...you are so lucky to have had her this long in your life...just think of all the happy years you've had with her. |
| Elissa, I'm so sorry. I never really knew my grandparents and I'm glad your relationship with your grandmother was so special. |
| So sorry to hear about your grandmother, Elissa.
I can tell you that I never ever had a moment of doubt when leaving a patient with a hospice caregiver and I'm sure they'll treat her beautifully. Thankfully you'll have some time with her. I wish you strength and am sending you hugs! |
I'm so sorry, Elissa.  She and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. |
Thanks guys 
We had a good visit. Ryan even went in to see her in her bedroom. He said he didn't want to see her. Hayley climbed up on her bed and was sitting on her legs. She even danced on the bed. Which got my Grandmother smiling. She was talking quite a bit but not really making too much sense. She was repeating a question she had asked the day before. She had asked the Dr that came to the house if she could give his nurse a kiss. The nurse had given her a BIG kiss which made her so happy. At one point she actually managed to tell the whole story. But she kept calling me Dr and asked if she could get a kiss from her pointing to Hayley and I complied. Then she asked me for a kiss. I gave her a big kiss and she smiled a big goofy smile. Which made my day! Then shortly after her eyes got big, they had only been like half open all day. She looked at me and Said "Are you pregnant?" I was shocked! I said No, do I look pregnant? She said "Sort of" lol She had been hearing Mom talk about how I had been sick to my stomach throughout the week and I guess she thought it might be pregnancy related. 
Hayley was in Grandma's bedroom most of the day. She provided lots of entertainment for Grandma. Grandma even commented how Hayley just goes and goes. Hayley was also showing off her vocabularly. Saying the name of colors and just talking up a storm. Grandma even managed to eat a baby banana (which I had never even heard of) I got there around 11am and left around 6pm. I told her I would be back on Wednesday because I have a Dr's appt in the area. Hopefully she will still be around. If not I know I gave her a happy day with Hayley. My Uncle told her it was ok to let go. He left around 7pm to catch a flight back to the east coast. |
| It is so difficult to let go of people you love. You and your grandmother are very fortunate to be able to spend time together. It is really sad, and hard, when you know that each visit might be the last, but you will never regret having spent the time together.
Sending big hugs and prayers your way. |
| Thoughts and prayers to all of you... keep your strength !! |
| Hi Elissa,
I found myself smiling at the image of Haley dancing on your grandma's bed..what wonderful memories you'll have of her. It is hard to let go and say goodbye..hugs to you. Give Ryan a hug from me too. Marianne and the boys |
| I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. We recently went through this with my husband's grandmother. Everyone was really glad to have a chance to say goodbye and she was glad to be at home rather than in the hospital. You'll be in my prayers.
Jodie |
| Ellissa,
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother's declining health. I remember how hard it was to watch my grandpa go from prostate cancer. I'm praying for peace and comfort for all of you, Karen |
| Sounds like your grandmother is having some wonderful last days. How great that Haley can brighten them so for her!!! |
| Thanks guys
We went to see Grandma again today, she was wide awake when Hayley & I arrived. Then when my Mom came in the room into the bedroom Grandma suggested they take a trip to Rochester, NY (where her and her husband's family were from.) Mom said and see who? Since there is nobody left there but one cousin named Ruthie. My Grandma said "to see Ruthie" Mom told her that "We'll see how your feeling". She fell asleep shortly after and when she woke up she was out of it. Just staring around the room. I told her we would be back this weekend. Hayley gave her a big sloppy kiss and I kissed her and told her to feel better. She said Thanks.
My Mom thinks Grandma is trying to hold out until at least her B-day. Mom is so morbid, she said that she wants her to at least reach her B-day so she can say her Mom lived to 94.  |
| All my thoughts are with you, I hope she is not in any pain. My grandma passed away when I was 9 yrs old, I was at the hospital but they wouldn;t let me in her room. She refused all her medication, and just wanted to "go".
She had breast cancer, and they tried everything but it was aggressive. I never got to say good-bye, so I always felt she was coming home again. Then came the funeral, I was so confused. I'm glad you are having this time with her, and being able to say goodbye. My grandpa passed away when I was pregnant with Madelyn, she would have been the first great grandchild. He had a heart attack in the night, died in the kitchen getting juice. It deeply affected all of us, we had no warning. No matter how our loved ones pass on, it is still painful, and I can only send my thoughts. |
| When is her Birthday Elissa? That would be special tomake it to 94!!!! It is not uncommon for folks to hang on to a milestone of some sort, birthday anniversary, holiday. I hope she makes it, what a GRAND LADY!!!!! |
| Elissa, I'm so sorry about your Grandmother. How wonderful that she could see you, Ryan and Hayley and they could make her smile. |
| Thanks Bev,
My Grandfather died the same way yours did. Except mine was leaving the kitchen. I was 7 yrs old. That was very hard for me because I was very close with him. I never knew my Mom's Dad. He died when Mom was 15. My Dad's Mom died when she was 94. That was 5 years ago. I feel lucky to have had my Grandmother's around so long. I think I am closer to my Mom's mom because she used to watch my sister and I when Mom & Dad went on vacations. We spent more time together. Tasker's Mom wrote: When is her Birthday Elissa? That would be special to make it to 94!!!! It is not uncommon for folks to hang on to a milestone of some sort, birthday anniversary, holiday. I hope she makes it, what a GRAND LADY!!!!!
Ginny, her B-Day is Sept 11. Thanks Holly, Her Great Grandkids are her life and they make her so happy. I am happy that she has gotten to spend so much time with them. |
| I remember going to visit my grandmother near the end. She was never a big woman, but she was lying on her side drawn up and looked just so tiny on the bed. The nurse "announced" me, and my grandmother waved me off. I guess she didn't want me to see her that way. |
| I am really sorry about your Grandma and know this is a very difficult time you are going through. It sounds like you and your family bring great joy to her at a very difficult time. I wish you peace and blessings and the easiest time possible dealing with everything. It's an unfortunate part of life. How lucky to be so close with her, but that makes it that much harder. |
| Ron, That's really sad. You are right though, I am sure she just wanted to spare you the pain of seeing her like that.
Vegas, Thanks
The two weeks has now been extended. Grandma is eating again, but not enough to really make much of a difference. But it will keep her around a bit longer. The Dr came to see her yesterday and she was awake and aware for the visit. She asked if she could go to a hospital in Rochester, NY that helped one of her cousins because she thought they might be able to help her too. I think she thinks she's in Rochester, though we are not sure why. The Dr said it won't help her. She also asked if taking her medication again will make her better. He said NO. He said she has been the best that he's seen her since she stopped the medications. She is no longer in pain. I feel so bad. She had given up, but now she seems to want to fight, but can't. Her pulse rate has gotten slower during the past week. He told her her heart was in bad shape. He asked her if she knew she was in Hospice. She said no, she also said she didn't know what hospice meant. |
| (((HUGS))) |
| Elissa,
I'm glad your grandma is feeling better. Please bare in mind that a lot of folks seem like they're getting better just before they take a turn for the worse, and die. I don't know why that is, but sometimes it gives people false hope. Only for their death to hit them harder, especially when it's a younger persons death. I don't mean to sound negative, just realistic I guess. I hate to see someone let down like I was time after time (as a youngster). I still have hope, but now I know there's a difference. God bless and be with you and your family throughout this journey. Pam |
| Pam,
I know what your saying. She is in no pain right now for the first time in 8 years (since she developed Shingles) and she is not on any medication at all. Which means she is not taking her heart medication. I had been saying for a long time that she was on way too many meds. I am very happy that she is no longer in pain. I can see the twinkle in her eyes fading. Though she is still managing to smile. We were at her house today and Ryan actually got her to laugh.  Hayley played on her bed which also brought a big smile to her face. |
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