Babies, babies everywhere?! Everyone is having babies!
And, if so, did the relationships survive? How did they change? Were you forced to listen to baby stuff all the time? Did anyone feel the need to go out and find some additional friends to actually go out with past 7pm? It seems that nearly all of my friends (either here in VA or back home in CA) have either had or are in the process of having babies this year. |
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| Ironically, I only have one friend that has two kids...all of my other friends are childless.... |
| Most of my friends don't live anywhere near me, so it means a lot of road trips LOL.... most have kids, but only one has kids the same age as mine. Most of my friends kids are grown up, or really little.
I rarely go out without the kids except for most dog shows, so dog shows are my "no kid time" LOL I think when kids are really little friendships can suffer if you let them, but friendships are really important to me so I've always tried to keep things balanced. Of course your kids have to be your first priority.... but someday your kids will grow up and move away, and hopefully your friends don't  |
| When I was in the hospital with No.2, I knew my room mate from childbirth class, several of the other women, and one of my neighbors forgot her childbirth class training and came straight to the nurses station right across from my room when she was in labor. I know most of the floor. Most of the women I knew who were married were having babies that summer.
Now, my youngest just turned 19, so my friends aren't having babies, but it seems where I work every married woman under 30 (and a couple over 30 and a couple who aren't married) is pregnant or has just given birth in the last year--or else the wives of the men I work with have. I've absolutely lost track of the number of women who are expecting. |
| ALL the girls around me either just had a baby or were pregnant when I was pregnant with lil J. I thought it was GREAT! A network of mommies. The ones who had a baby were eager to reminisce about what it was like, and the ones who were pregnant loved tossing symptoms and bedding ideas/paint/the hottest stroller back and and forth. The ones who weren't pregnant (I think there was 2) were always asking us questions. It made them want to get pregnant, but due to our husbands leaving soon... that's not the best idea. The older moms that have kids out of the house or in hs are ALWAYS volunteering to babysit.
I've been in the scenerio where the person pregnant gets on your nerves because it's baby this, baby that ALL the time. Then when they're born, they bring in pictures and tell you every detail of their child's development. I remember my coworkers always complaining about this when my friend was pregnant. Not to mention all the time she spent away from the office. Thankfully I wasn't in that sort of environment. |
um...L...it sounds how I act and talk about Panda  |
Darcy wrote: um...L...it sounds how I act and talk about Panda
Funny you said that, Darcy...last night when we were at the bbq it was baby this, baby that, baby just turned X months, and I actually said, well Barney's turning 2 in two weeks...in all seriousness and a few of the girls just stopped and stared at me...the one other girl without kids laughed her head off and said her cat just turned 9... |
Hmmm... Well I don't have much of a social life (you guys are pretty much it) and all my co-workers are at least 15 years older then me... so I'd have to say I'll probably end up being the person who annoys everyone with baby tales.  I wish I had lots of friends that were having babies.... I need to get out into the social scene more. |
| Yes, with both of my boys. It ruins your social life, but at the same time, you bond even more over sharing your child's moments and feelings of being a parent with each other. Now that all of our children are older and less needy, we're starting to be able to get together more - go to each others houses and let the kids play while we watch tv, talk, play games, etc.. Definitely not the kind of social life we had pre-kids, but still fun none the less. |
| I guess I mostly meant friends with kids--are you still friends (or how do you deal) with friends without kids and vice versa...
Since I'm a no kids kinda girl... |
barney1 wrote: I guess I mostly meant friends with kids--are you still friends (or how do you deal) with friends without kids and vice versa...
Since I'm a no kids kinda girl... Oops, I read it wrong. I've been reading Sleepy Dog all week to my son since it's his AR book for the week and he's tested on it Friday, so it's getting to the point to where I can hardly read anything above a kindergarten level! lol I'm still friends with people without kids, but we honestly hardly ever see them. They are the friends that we usually do more fun things like go to a movie, out to dinner, etc.. with, but we only do it when my parents have the kids (or a babysitter but we haven't gone that route yet). They do come to family events, like parties and meals here and stuff though. |
| Actually that is a good point, when I had my kids the first one I joined a mothers group/play group and it drove me insane, did not last long there.
Most of my friends had there kids later, I was the first. Most were in there late 20's early 30's when having there first, and my kids were fairly grown up by then. So some friendships lasted and some didn't. One friend that I went way back to starting school with did not last as her young toddlers were ferral and I could not cope with them when she visited me. Friends now have children, some still very young, a few without kids and harmony amongst us all is good. When the talk starts on baby stuff I listen for a little while then pipe in and say "Ooooh way past that, change the subject, been there done that" and the conversation changes. So if it is driving you nuts, say something as half the time they don't realise all the baby this and baby talk gets too much for some and when you are out for a social there is other things to talk about also, let them talk for a little while as all moms are proud and chatty about there babies, especially if it is there first, but sometimes for friendships to last and bloom they have to be reminded that there is also other things in life as well. 
Glad you piped in with Barney, did the conversation change then HA HA  |
barney1 wrote: Did anyone feel the need to go out and find some additional friends to actually go out with past 7pm?
Yes, you will wind up with additional, child-free friends. I remain friendly with girlfriends and family members who have kids, and attend birthdays/first communions/sports events etc. My mom friends can even have the occasional girls night out. But for the most part my friends with kids don't have the time or the money to do the kind of things they used to do. Most of the activities I enjoy are not child friendly, and therefore the friends I've made in my adult life tend to be child-free, or at this stage of my life I'm also meeting women whose children are post-high school age. |
| We are totally in the same boat, Steph. I wish you lived near us. We really need some more/new childfree friends. I think it's so much harder to find friends as you get older especially when you don't have kids. There is a national organization www.nokidding.org that you might want to check out. You can sign up for a group in your area if there is one. The Chicago group isn't very organized and people mostly meet up on their own.
I met this wonderful woman who I finally went out to dinner with a few months ago. We hit it off right away and became instant friends Wouldln't you know, they moved to Colorado a week ago for jobs  Both she and I were upset because she also had been looking for some childfree friends. However, we now have another cool vacation spot!
Some of my friends and family members have been having kids the past few years. I've been under tremendous pressure externally and internally to have kids. Our family friendly suburban location doesn't exactly "welcome" childfree couples. When we first moved here, a few of the families included us in BBQs, carnivals, birthdays, and it was a lot of fun. However, we haven't been included much this past summer and I can't help but think it's because we've stated we don't plan to have kids. It makes me sad that I feel the need to have kids in order to have friends. However, I need to remind myself that my Mom and Dad had a ton of friends when I was a kid. Where were all the friends when my parents got divorced? Only one has stayed in touched and concerned for all these years. My Mom had to go out and find new friends which is so sad as she is such a wonderful person inside and out. It's been REALLY tough especially when all the talk is kid or pregnancy talk. Five of my friends and I get together for lunch for birthdays a few times a year. The scheduling has become much more difficult. Our last lunch a few weekends ago, consisted of the two strongest personalities in the group talking graphically about labor, not something the other four of us particularly wanted to talk about. So, I'm still friends with people who have kids, but I don't necessarily feel the same satisfaction in the relationship anymore. I'm sure they would still be there for me if I needed them and vice versa, but it's definitely not the same. I guess I talk about my pups much in the same way others talk about their kids. I did have one friend laugh at me because I was sending them doggie videos and bringing pictures to lunch. They whip through my pictures so I decided not to bring them anymore. Of course, I'm told "you're not even looking at them" when I flip through pictures from a kid's bday party. Hmmm..do you think I need some new friends??? So glad I found all of you guys to look at my pictures endlessly
Foz and Annie have pretty much become our entertainment. Granted I love them dearly, but sometimes it would be nice to have dinner with other couples every once in a while. Actually, we have become very friendly with a childfree couple from Foz's training class. We had dinner with them a few weeks ago and had a great time. They are homebodies like us and aren't planning on having kids. We're hoping we have new friends to hang out with spontaneously and Foz and Odin can play. Steve and I are sort of homebodies and I've been racking my brain on how to meet people too. Okay, probably more info than you were looking for, Steph. Please feel free to PM or email me any time |
| Here's a link to a previous thread I started about not having kids...
http://forum.oes.org/viewtopic.php?t=5555 |
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