What would you do (taking college classes + baby)?
I want to be busy while Mr. J is away in Iraq. That time is approaching... I'll release the date when it's made public or when I'm bawling on here the day it happens. 
I decided to take some classes. I thought 3. Mr. J wanted me to stay busy but he thinks taking care of the baby, him being gone in iraq, taking lil J to his playgroups, plus i have a lot of weekly military involvement (commitments)... that I should only take 1. two at most. Plus, the idea of lil J being with someone else for this long ...isn't what we had in mind, and is a small concern for Mr. J. Oh, I guess if we're throwing all the cards out, I should mention that I have 3 cats and a crazy sheepie that fights for attn (my maltese isn't a cat, but she might as well count as one) 
he's afraid of me getting too stressed. I don't want to take LESS than I'm capable of handling. Although, I can be a easily stressed/high-anxiety type of person, so on the otherhand... I am now wondering if he's right. Mr. J keeps reminding me that it's not like when I was in college where all my time was committed to school. How many classes would you take if you were in my situation? The deadline is appoaching (since I'm already signing up under late registration), but I CAN'T SEEM TO DECIDE! |
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I wouldn't take more than two. This way I would be able to throw myself completely into the classes while still keeping some time for the rest of life!!  Sounds like a good idea, especially if you are good with organizing things. |
| I would only take one or two... probably one.... |
| Id take one at first, you can always take 2 the second semester, and if that works well, take 3 the following.....
what do you want to take?? |
| I think it also depends what the classes are. What did you plan on taking? The subject matter what dicatate how much stress/time there is involved. I used to like to sign up for 5 or 6 classes, go to the first day of all of them and get the syllabus, decide which ones I liked and drop the ones that I didn't. |
| Ah ha Jill, youre the reason it was so hard to get the class schedule on the first go round.....you hogged all of the classes right up front!! |
| Hi,
Funny, I was just speaking to my son about this the other day. I mentioned my very stressful schedule when his brother was a baby and I was the same age as my son is now. When I was 18, I took care of my baby, worked at a before and afterschool daycare and attended 5 classes at college. That part of my life was a blur. I was tired all the time, forget important moments in his babyhood and at 18 supposedly had a lot of energy. I also didn't have a vehicle and I spent a lot of time travelling to get my son to the sitters, go to work at the community center, get on bus to go to school, back to work at thecommunity center, get my son at the sitters..go home. I know you're not that old MrsJ and you want to keep busy but not to the point of exhaustion. Two in my opinion seems to be the right amount of classes. Only reason I mentioned it to my kid is he was complaining about how tired he was having to get up early for his part time job. Groan I sounded like I was doing that ole back in the day when I was young speech, which I swore I would never do. Nope, given the choice I'd take two classes and enjoy the precious moments with my child. Two would be enough to focus on school, remember the travel time too and pick up and delivery or prep or little J, as well as making sure Yuki and the others were taken care of before you could leave. Two is enough, that if someday you wanted to stay and chat with new friends for coffee you could. Three, you start feeling guilty about being away and would probably rush home and may miss out on the fun stuff you could do for yourself. You also have to somehow fit in the grocery shopping, cleaning and other boring household stuff one needs to do. Yup my vote is for two. Good luck with whatever you decide. Marianne and the boys |
| Marianne, your entire life should be made into a book. I swear it would bank. Really... you have been through and done more than I feel even two people have in their lives combined. You have made so many valid points too regarding time management/time spent.
ButtersStotch, lol I did that same crap. I didn't want to miss out on "THE" professor to get, but I didn't want to be in 3 classes that required 12-page book reports, etc. I also hated people like us (mostly seniors) who would sign up for a class and then drop it. 
I'd have to re-look what I'm taking because my time with the advisor went by too quickly. We were too busy talking about my options and what would transfer. I'm taking 3 upper level history classes. maybe russian history, samurai history, and alaskan history? i have no clue or what part each history class will cover. joahaeyo |
Darcy wrote: Ah ha Jill, youre the reason it was so hard to get the class schedule on the first go round.....you hogged all of the classes right up front!!
Nah, not for my classes. I majored in film studies and journalism-- they weren't giant classes anyway. Knowing that, every instructor would let anyone drop in since the classes weren't offered all the time. 3 history classes sounds like an open invitation to confuse events and times. |
| I vote for staying at home with the lil J. Unless you're planning on taking classes for a future career, just take lil J to the library and study misc. things there. You can check out the books, and take as many classes at home as you like.
There's a thread about Bill Gates and kids elsewhere that might help you determine how many and when to take your classes. Said with respect, but concern for "why" you are considering this. I don't think its what you want. It won't take your mind off of the danger. Those thoughts will continue to distract you regardless of what you're doing. Been there, done that, thoughts of: has the mailman come yet, and how many choppers went down today (Viet Nam). Praying he'd make it home safely to meet his 9 month old son. You have a lot on your plate already. Are you sure this is a good plan for you right now? With dad away you are mom and dad. Will lil J feel like he's loosing both parents at the same time? Even though its only a few hours a day that can seem like an awful long time to a child.?? I think these are the reasons why you don't know what to take - maybe you know you really don't wanna.
God bless and keep your family safe through the difficult times ahead. A grateful country salutes you and others like you! (Even when you think not!!!) Mouthypf |
| No more than one class. You still have Mr. J, your military commitments, exercise time (if you don't, you should), dog time, house time. Is there any time for getting together with "the girls?" You need down time to chat and to have someone you can bend an ear. (Oh, that's why you come here )
Yes, staying busy will help the time go by but you also need time for Mr. J. How about starting a foreign language? That way you could and Mr. J could be learning at the same time. |
| I've been going back to school online too. One class at a time. These classes are harder than my campus classes, but they are VERY convienent.
I finished college with Jakob (9 months), while Jason was on deployment, and I was pregnant with Brandon. It was one semester, 21 hours, and HARD to do, but I knew I'd be finished if it was over. I was lucky enough to get my classes together, so I was only gone for 3 hours a day and a friend of ours kept Jake. You can do it and get through it just fine. I still had plenty of time for Jakob, he usually napped when I was in classes anyway and I did my assignments and studied when I put him down for the night. |
| I'm not a mother, so I can't give advice on that sort of thing, but I think maybe 2 classes would be good. I was a history major, so I know that history classes can take up some time--there's so much reading involved, and maybe papers, too.
I think it's a great idea to keep yourself busy and better yourself with education. I don't think sitting at home doing nothing all day with lil J (and all those other things you mentioned) will make the time or worry go away and of course you'll still be thinking of Mr Joah while he's gone, but this will give you some purpose and brain usage that I think would help the time pass. AND, I LOVE RUSSIAN HISTORY AND ALASKA HISTORY!!! So you can be my history buddy. I am doing my master's thesis on Russian and Spanish colonialism from Northern California to Alaska and how it taxed their resources to the breaking point. Is this the only thing that you'd be adding in your life (besides Mr. Joah leaving)? That way you can maybe tell how much time it would take up and if you could realistically do it. I mean, are your weekly military commitments expanding when they are deployed or will that time stay the same? |
| I think you should take 2 classes, you seem more than willing and able so why not! You will have plenty of time with lil' J and plenty of time to do other things but get these classes in when you want to and when you have the time. Being able to afford classes and have time to take them is really a luxury so I say take advantage of it! |
| I'm not sure what I'll do. A lot of good points that match up to what either I've been thinking or my husband.
I wanted to take sign language (that's what we're teaching lil J anyway) instead of one of the history classes, but it looks like it doesn't match up with my schedule (one night class is enough for me, do not want to be away from lil J too much at night). Quote: I am doing my master's thesis on Russian and Spanish colonialism from Northern California to Alaska and how it taxed their resources to the breaking point. Can I borrow it in case I have to do a report... on a much smaller scale? History is what I'm terrible in. When I mean... I'm terrible at it, I mean... Columbus came here when?  So I thought it should be what I learn more about because I feel history is important, and I'm ashamed I never paid more attn to it. Quote: Is this the only thing that you'd be adding in your life (besides Mr. Joah leaving)?
That's all I can think of at the moment. Unless you want me to include all the man things that Mr. J took care of in the winter. j/k Around summer, lil J will be starting gymnastics. I'm sure there will be a lot more military commitments when the guys leave, but they usually just require me to be there for a day (bring baked goods somewhere, functions, maybe a project to send out to all of our soldiers, military classes, calling the other ladies to inform them about their husbands, etc). |
| I can't address what it is like to go to class with a little one while my husband is deployed, but I did complete my college degree while raising my young family and adding 2 more kids to the mix. Or rather, I was about to complete it (with 4 kids, including an infant) when my husband needed to relocate for a job, causing a long delay in finishing my degree.
My first semester, I took 3 classes and got pregnant 2 months after class began. I was also really crazy--I still made all meals from scratch, home made halloween costumes, Christmas presents, etc., had a small vegetable garden, volunteered at my kids' elementary, all sorts of crazy stuff determined that my family wouldn't 'suffer' for my ambition. I was an idiot. Not for taking too many classes, but for not cutting myself a break. I'm new here, so I don't know how old little J is, or if you have family around to help with daycare when you're in class or need to study. I think you should follow your own instincts. Yes, it will be work, and yes, there will be stress, but if you are studying something you really enjoy, it will do wonders for your st ate of mind, and help you move to a position to be able to do more for your family, financially. You can drop a class if you need to (I got bronchitis during that pregnancy and I was just so tired, I dropped a class). Time wise--a good rule of thumb for studying/class prep is 2 hrs of study/prep for each hour of class time, on average. Some classes I took needed a lot more; a few required much less. |
| You have gotten great and varied suggestions!
My personal vote would be for 2 classes. I went back to school fulltime with 3 preschoolers and the need to work at least 1/2 time, and it was a challenge to balance family, school time and the rest of my life. There were never enough hrs in the day. I did feel better about myself for going to school, and I'm sure it reflected on the whole family. Assess your whole life schedule - commitments to family, job, volunteer activities and decide what are priorities. Then pick a workable school schedule that will complement the rest of your lfe, not one that will stress you and your family. Good luck! |
| Hi Joaheyo.
I'm not in your shoes so I can't really walk in your shoes, but as you know taking college classes ar not just about "going" to class but spending at least 5 hrs a week preparing, reading, writing for that class at home. If you are taking 3, that would timewise require you to spend around 15 hrs a week just to prepare for them. You'd have to be a superwoman and not sleep in order to complete all the things you mentioned, spend time with lil J and your pets..etc. So first: Why are you taking classes? Do you want to persue a degree? certificate? or just to occupy your time? It sounds like it's just for your own learning, then why don't you take it as a listener? You don't have to write papers or finish all the reading assignments? You can take all three classes learn, discuss and maybe study at home a bit.... It won't take up too much time... If you really want to take it for grades and what you get in class matters, in all honesty, I'd recommend registering for 2 classes at most and see how things are. Since you're taking history classes you won't have to fuss about exams, but you'll need to spend quite a bit writing essays and by your assignments I'm sure you'll know if you can handle 2 classes. If you can that's great! You'll have extra time to take care of yourself!!! If you can't handle two then you can drop one.. |
| start slow, see how it works out ...
I have 2 kids (5yr old & 1yr old) I have been going to school for the past 3 years Coming in September I will HAVE to take 5 classes and hubby works all the time (day job and night job) I am definately fearing this fall as I don't know how I am going to handle it. And now I have to take Allie out for walks instead of just letting her out by herself because we no longer have a fenced in yard. If I were you I would start slow with 1 or 2 classes |
| Only you can decide what will work for your family but my advice would be to take only one or two. When mu daughter was just a year old I went back to school full time, I was also working full time. now, twentone years later I look back with great regret. I missed an awful lot by doing that. Of course it turned out to be a good thing in the end because I ended up a single parent and I THANK GOD for my degree which enabled me to support my kids without child support (swich I never got).
But I also missed an awful lot of those "firsts" by always working or studying or being at school. |
| Thanks so much for everyone's suggestions. For the time being, I'm still signed up for three, but I think we have decided to cut it down to two. I will talk to my advisor right before the classes start to see which one to drop. I'm just taking the classes to keep busy but what many of you have said has weighed on me ...okay, mostly my heart.
My first priority/commitment (outside of God and my husband) is to be a stay-at-home mom, so it kills me to think I may not be putting lil J down to sleep 2-3 nights a week. I also don't know if I want the person we are leaving our kid with (our only option really) ....to be with my kid any longer than 4-5 hours a week (not including my other class...which goes to a different babysitter). My concern still seems to be 'leaving lil J' and not the amount of classes, stress, or need to feel up time. He's really all I have while my husband is away, and I'm already having a tough time with Mr. J leaving soon. 
Anyway, thanks everyone! I told my husband I made this poll/thread and the responses and he just rolled his eyes and said, "told you so!!!!!!!!" |
| Since most classes are 3 hours taking two will mean about 6 hours of class time, add your travel time and you have a pretty good chunk of time away. The rule of thum "back in the day" was to double the number of hours for study time. So a 3 hour class would require a minimum of 6 hours study or 9 hours a week. So you can count on 2, 3 credit classes occupying a minimum of 18 hours a week. If you are type A like I am double that.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!! I've been seriously considering going back to finish my Masters............ |
| Just my 2 cents... You do want to be busy but you don't want to get overwhelmed. One class is good to keep your mind busy. Maybe you can find a class that is during little J's naptime?
I would like to put a plug in for having a good support network and possibly even a therapist while your sweetie is away. One of my ex- employees had a husband in Iraq for a year. She was far from family and had just moved to the area. It was really too much for her because she would not/ could not create the emotional support that she needed. I don't think that you will have that problem since you are so sociable but wanted to make sure I mentioned the importance of letting family and friends help out during this time
Blessings, Lark |
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