A few thoughts from Bill Gates

Received this in an e-mail today:

According to Bill Gates, Right on... Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this!

To anyone with kids of any age, here's some advice.

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So
before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's
generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and
they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right
answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF.
Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you agree, pass it on.
If you can read this - Thank a teacher!
If you are reading it in English -Thank a soldier!!

Respond to this topic here on forum.oes.org

So true...

So true, but we may have to modify the one about a car phone......they already have one......a cell phone stuck in their ear all day long.

4 of us where I work started talking about our teenagers and older kids today - wonder if Bill Gates would call my son personally and tell him these things - cause my son sure doesn't seem to believe me when I tell him.

Re: #2 and self esteem, I was flipping around the radio stations on the car and landed on Dr. Laura. From what I could gather, she has a new book out (she writes a book more often than I vacuum the house) about our children and self esteem. From what I understood, she contends since schools started this self esteem training, we now have a generation of self centered kids, not caring kids. In other words, "I do it because it makes me feel good," not "I do it because I care about others."

Wynette-I understand what you mean about the kids not listening. I raised my kids with the same moral and ethics that I was raised with. They just seem to look at things so much more differentl than I did. They are now 20 and 22 and my 22 year old is still causing problems for his "dear old Mom". I always thought once they hit 18 ......... they were on their own. Yeah right! Once your son, always your son. My Mom used to say a son is a son until he takes a wife but a daughter is a daughter for the rest of your life. In my case she may have had that backwards.

As a 20-something, I think that a lot of kids use that stuff to take the easy road in life, and they seem to get a lot of attention for it, but there are also a lot of us who work hard and know that we have to work for what we want.

We might expect to get things faster, since this is the age of technology and the world in general moves faster, but pretty much all my friends and people I went to college with expect that we will be successful, and sooner rather than later, but we will not start as the president.

And it does seem that kids are raised differently in some senses, but I don't think there was ever a moment that my parents thought 'well, they're 18, they're on their own'...What with college costs what they are these days (and the need to go to college to succeed in life) it's pretty much impossible for a family to expect their 18-year-old to be able to be on their own. You can have varying forms of assistance for them, from monetary to living to emotional support. But this is by far different than my parents' generation, where college was not mandatory and was expensive but not $40,000/year.

I don't think I neccessarily should have said "own their own". By that comment I meant that they would show the responsibility of making better decisions for themselves. Neither of my two decided that college was for them. They are both employed, at low hourly wages because of their decision to forego college, but don't show any interest in pushing themselves to do better. They seem content to remain at home and pay their neccesities. I guess, that having always been self motivated, it is just somewhat disheartening to see someone just running on "cruise control". No urge to speed up or slow down. Not sure if that makes sense or not.

I am not saying that all 20 somethings are like this. I know some very motivated 20+ young people that are very motivated and ambitious. I think I was trying to say that it is a concern that as their Mother, and knowing the way I raised them, that they aren't more motivated.

When I was 19 I was married and had two children. I am not recommending this to anyone, by no stretch of the imagination. Had I not had ambition I could very easily have fallen by the wayside.

Some of what I think is happening is that there are too many choices for people. BITD people just became a nurse. Or a secretary. Or a doctor. There are SO MANY choices out there and unless you know for sure what you want to be, it's sometimes hard to be ANYTHING.

I went to college and double majored in 2 subjects that I was good at and enjoyed, but didn't really lead to any particular job track. I'm good at communications and writing skills and all that, but it's not like I was trained for something like computers or biology. That makes it hard when you go through college (which wasn't even really an option for me NOT to go -- not because of my parents, just that it was the logical next step in life...you graduate high school, you go to college, end of story) and then all of a sudden you have to do something on your own accord.

It is a mixture of lofty dreams and ideals that have been fed to you in college and by your loved ones and a dose of reality that I entered the real world and it was hard. I didn't know what I wanted to do (still don't, really) but I knew that I had to do something.

I think people might be slower these days to mature (as in feeling grown up and able to take on responsibilities) and with the onslaught of video games, etc. it is easy to feel and act younger than your actual age 'should' (or used to) dictate.

This is a subject that I could get on a soap box and rant all day about.....I love my stepdaughter with all of my heart, but she is really selfish. She was staying at our house last week and was late everynight. We asked her to call to let us know where she was if she was going to be late....well, she never did. On top of it, she would just go to her room without saying "hi, Im home...sorry I was late"...So, I layed into her about respect, responsiblity, courtesy etc....she slammed out of the house and havent heard from her since...

I did get an email from her mom yesterday that ticked me off even more.....it said that Colleen couldnt find it in her heart to forgive me.....WHAT???? So, I emailed her a copy of this Bill Gates thing and told Julie to tell Colleen that when she grows up and takes responsiblity for her actions, to give me a call....and also that a temper tantrum on a 19 yr old is most unbecoming......

Darcy, like mother, like daughter.

The other day our shuttle driver was fuming about a family visit that had just ended where the 24 year old niece spent the entire time text-messenging. Rarely spoke to people around her, but kept a constant conversation on her phone. (actions I'd expect from a 16 year old, not 24)

I know there are wonderful, caring young people. I just wish there were more and fewer who are so self absorbed.

As to cost of college.......it is relative. When my oldest brother went to college, his annual tuition alone was 50% of my father's income. College is expensive, some more than others.

We all mature at different rates unless slapped in the face by life. For example WWII....here kids living in the Depression suddenly found themselves in a world war. If we are coddled, have less experience in the "real world" growing up, then we mature slower. Which is better....fast maturing or slow maturing.....who knows?

Getting back to the original post, college grads are convinced they know everything.........I did!! The 11 rules are just a slap in the head that most will ignore.

susan

Sigh....My only wish is that these kids would actually listen to you when you say that "you've been there, done that and trust me"....I really would prefer not to rant, but have good honest conversations...one where opinions and options can be spoken objectively. Not through tears, temper tantrums and slammed doors and being constantly told that I dont "understand".....

I do understand, my dad left my mom on our graduation day..."stole" all of our college money and said "tough"....At 17, I was financially on my own to make it or break it...I did....and yes, there was sniveling, but it never stopped me from my goal and I never said poor me.....and I never ever spoke to my father disrespectful, even after all that...for a while, I didnt speak to him at all....but I was brought up with the good ole line of "if you cant say something nice....dont say it at all..."

Why are kids at the age of 19, 20 and 21 still only mentally at the age of 14,15 and 16?

Darcy wrote:

Hey...I was married with kids and my own home at those ages! lol

No Gail, you obviously had a head on your shoulders....Im talking about todays kids....and I dont mean all kids....In my opinion, just most

JakobandBrandonsmom wrote:

Darcy wrote:

Hey...I was married with kids and my own home at those ages! lol

Wow, I can't even imagine being married with kids at that age. I was definitely still feeling like a kid at that age...too immature and wanting to be carefree. I can hardly contemplate kids now...although the thoughts are starting to creep in...But that also just goes to show that all people are different and mature and age differently, some based on being forced to from life circumstances, or some just 'old' for their age naturally.

My parents paid for everything, except my gas and insurance, until I got married. They paid for my college in full every semester, my text books, I lived with them so all the groceries/utilities, everything. Once I got married, they didn't help at all. They didn't want me to get married until I graduated, so that was their way of getting back at me (their words). So...we paid what we could on my college and took out student loans on the rest. I'm still paying them off, but I'm pretty proud that we haven't had to ask either of our parents for any form of help since we got married. It hasn't been easy, we've done without a lot, and we've had tons of medical bills from all three of our children (they were all NICU babies). When our daughter passed away, our parents helped us out then. They said it was the only gift they could give her, so we all chipped in and got her a nice casket/vault combo and had a nice funeral for her. With our boys, we had thousands of dollars of medical bills we had to pay out of pocket. Brandon's alone totalled $11,0000 out of pocket - WITH insurance. Then with our decision of having me stay home with them, it has been really hard, but we pulled through it. Things are looking up now that we've got them paid for (yay..they can't repossess the kids now, lol), and life is getting easier now. I'm glad we didn't have to ask for help now, and much to everyone's surprise, I got my degrees and Jason is just a few months shy of earning his (he's a full-time student right now too). It's made me appreciate what we have and what we have earned for ourselves even more.

We couldn't add any more debt with all the medical expenses, so we pretty much don't have any now - other than student loans. I'm looking for a job, and we have a 7 year plan. Pay off the car, pay off the mortgage, put some money in savings, sell our house, and build our dream home without having to take out a loan. It's VERY feasible, and that is a nice feeling! They do help out in ways other than financial though. They are always asking if they can take the boys, send the boys gifts (usually a toy or clothes) on occasion, they spoil them on holidays, etc... I think we have a better relationship with them since it's all emotional and not any financial stuff involved. It made us both mature pretty fast too.

Darcy wrote:

No Gail, you obviously had a head on your shoulders....Im talking about todays kids....and I dont mean all kids....In my opinion, just most

I knew that.

I matured too fast, but I don't regret it for a second!

I thikn a lot of the attitude of our young people comes from the fact that everything is "easy". You don't have to work hard to get anything anymore, especially as a child. Preparing a meal is easy, getting food is easy, entertainment is easy, play is easy... there is no need for todays child to WORK at anything. Even down to the toys the toys- For instance: take a typical toy car- no need to imagine the car sounds or push them on the floor anymore, they move on their own and make noises. Even imagination is done for them! There is no need for responsibility, hard work, or manners in our culture where young people are concerned.

Unhappy with someone... scream and B@#$% at them- that'll get the problem solved, no need to worry about THEIR feelings.

Over spent on the cell bill- eh no biggie mom and dad will pay for it!

Bored- no problem pop in a dvd, video game, the tv and turn the brain off.

We're lucky to live in a society where generally our needs are met, where if we work at a decent job we don't have to worry much about maintaining a roof over our heads, clothing on our backs, having healthy food to eat, getting basic medical care, or worrying about the country next to us blowing us up. At the same time, I think it is that very carefree lifestyle that has led to these types of problems. I think most of the people in our country have the ability to be truly wonderful, decent human beings, but we don't NEED to be to keep going, so we choose not to.

barney1 wrote:

I don't think you were necessarily implying this, but I don't think having a family young (successfully) has completely to do with maturity, I think it just has to do with choices and following through. It's thinking about what you want and going through with that plan. Heck, it's just having a plan!

I've never wanted children, really. It was something I decided a long time ago. I didn't want to live with the responsibility of children and having a family was never on my list of things to do. I like living comfortably and only having the dogs to take care of now. They're my kids.

A lot depends on what you EXPECT of your kids. My sister gave her kids everything, never asked them to do any chores, etc., and they gave her SO much trouble. Partly because of watching her, I vowed to do things differently with my own kids.

When my kids got to driving age, the rule was - if you don't work, you don't drive. They paid their own insurance, gas and most of the maintenance in exchange for our buying them a cheap car. They were told that if their grades slipped because of conflicts with working, car privileges were gone. Grades came first - cars came second. When they went to college, we picked up the car insurance, but they bought their own textbooks.

They both started checking/savings accounts with they started working. They had to learn to manage their money to begin to understand what being responsible adults meant. Cell phones - we bought them a phone when they turned 16, because of driving, but it was THEIR responsibility to pay the monthly bill. You want the phone? You pay the bill.

College? Our son went to a private college that was a bit pricey. After he got whatever scholarships he could and applied for the maximum Stafford loans, we picked up the difference. Our daughter's school is not as expensive as our son's was, so we feel like we owe her what we put towards her brother's education. Luckily and happily we can do that for them, but they understood that if the circumstances were different, we were under no obligation to GIVE them a college education. And an undergrad degree is what they get from us. If they want a grad degree, it's on their own dime.

I guess in a sense we raised our kids with the Nothing In Life Is Free theory. And it worked. They know the value of a dollar. They know that Mom and Dad's sole purpose in life is NOT to just write them a check. Since as far back as I can remember, I've always drummed into their heads - take responsibility for your own actions, whether you like the consequences or not. Sometimes you don't think your kids are listening to you, but I've found that they do. Even now, every once in awhile my son will shock me by saying, "Mom, you always taught us to . . ." He listened!

Sorry if it sounds like I'm bragging, but I've got great kids!

ButtersStotch wrote:

barney1 wrote:

Jill, you said it better than I did. I wasn't implying that it was maturity necessarily. I guess I was thinking more that it has been my choice that I was way not ready to have a family at that age (or older!) based on the fact that I wasn't ready to be the caretaker of a human being. I know I still didn't say it right (come into my head...it sounds right in here!)

Darcy Wrote:

Quote:

Why are kids at the age of 19, 20 and 21 still only mentally at the age of 14,15 and 16?

Because parents now a days think that by giving their kids whatever they ask for whenever they ask for it instead of making them work for it. Society has now become a me me me society. I find that now a days teeneager has little or no respect for anyone or anything. It annoyed the H#** out of me.

I sent that Bill Gates thing to my family and friends that are teacher and in Administaor positions in school. I made sure I forwarded that on to my Aunt and uncle who are both Prinipal'. Both of their 2 kids are do disrespectful and selfish. (i've had to put mu hands in my pockets a few times or I would have slapped them myself.) Maybe they will get the hint. Both of my cousins are 18 & 20 and just A$$'s. Spoilt, ingorant, ... I could go on and on about those 2. My Aunt and Uncle use to tell my parents they were to hard us, you know what, I'm glad they were. I have done something with my life and I'm pretty sure that those 2 doorknobs will still be living at home, uneducated, mooching off of them forever.
The kids now a days think that the world owes them something for being alive, it's the other way around kiddies, you owe the world.

Darcy wrote:

Why are kids at the age of 19, 20 and 21 still only mentally at the age of 14,15 and 16?

I don't think that's a "now" thing - I think there have always been selfish, lazy kids and mature, hardworking kids. When I was in college I had a family friend who was born on the same day, same year, at almost the same time as me. While I graduated with a BA in 3 years (to save my parents money) and then worked and got my MBA at night (my company paid my tuition), she did absolutely nothing, just lived off her parents and took too many drugs. I always said that she and I singlehandedly disproved the theory of Astrology!

Ultimately, I really feel like parents coddle their children way too much now.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and
they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right
answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

This really couldn't be more true. It seems like any lessons that could be learned in life during school are taken away now in exchange for soothing pats on the back and hand holding. There are no consequences for anything anymore. How can you expect to grow up to be a responsible adult if your entire youth was spent with the option of a "do-over?" There seems like there's such a fear of hurting childrens' feelings now and making sure everyone's "included" in everything. I understand that it seems like it's the right thing to do at the time but all it's really doing is setting kids up for a letdown later in life-- and now they're not equipped with any coping skills to deal with whatever the situation is.

Working at a university, I see a lot of young people everyday. The young freshman coming in never cease to amaze me. It's shocking to me me what they think they have "coming" to them, with no respect to others. For example, my office is in the undergraduate library on campus. The 3rd floor is silent study only-- pretty easy to understand, right? The younger people REFUSE to stop using their cell phones or stop talking. When asked to stop, you'd get back lots of attitude, along with "I pay tuition, I can do what I want." Um, so do the people that you're bothering.

Since they are students, and it's a public university, it is very hard to remove them from the library as there are a lot of university policies in place to protect them. The students use this as a shield against anything that they do, too. The problem was so bad, that we wound up hiring a retired Detroit homocide cop to act as the 3rd floor monitor. She totally rocks! She's this, seemingly, sweet docile woman who looks a lot younger than she is, but she's whipped those kids into shape and put them in their place. She's killed people and will tell those stories without batting an eye. Nothing shuts kids up like fear. :twisted:

Seriously though, the kids respect her. There's nothing wrong with discipline.

Like the old saying goes, you win some, you lose some. There's always somebody out there better at something than you, smarter than you, better looking than you. There's nothing wrong with that. Competition is what drives people to be successful. I think the earlier that a child understands how to win gallantly and lose gracefully, they'll wind up being happier adults.

Although I love this list and have seen it in many emails over the past few years, I remembered hearing that it actually is not from Bill Gates. Looked it up on Snopes.com, and this is what it says:

Origins: No, this list didn't originate with Microsoft head Bill Gates. (It's frequently cited on the Internet as having come from his book Business @ The Speed of Thought, but it didn't.) Why it's attributed to Gates is a mystery to us; it doesn't really sound the least bit like something he would write. Possibly, the item the Internet-circulated version of the list generally ends with ("Be nice to nerds") struck a chord with someone who views Gates as the ultimate successful nerd of all time.

One version that appeared on the Internet in June 2002 asserts this is the text of a commencement speech given by Bill Gates to the graduating class of Mt. Whitney High School in Visalia, California. It isn't — he didn't give such a speech, and folks at that school are mystified as to why they've been dragged into this apocryphal story.

Nor is this list the work of Kurt Vonnegut, another person to whom authorship has been attributed. A clue found in those versions ("From a college graduation speech by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.") explains why folks want to lay these random words of wisdom on his doorstep: In 1998, the Internet was swept with a narrative that has come to be known as the Vonnegut sunscreen speech. That work of inventive fiction was actually the product of Chicago Tribune writer Mary Schmich, but Internet-circulated versions claimed it was a college graduation speech given by Kurt Vonnegut. Vonnegut thus became associated in the minds of some people with pithy advice to young adults.

This list is the work of Charles J. Sykes, author of the book Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write, Or Add. (The list has appeared in newspapers, although not necessarily in this book.) Many versions omit the last three rules:

Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.

Advice columnist Ann Landers has printed the first ten items (uncredited) several times, and the list has been used by radio commentator Paul Harvey. The prize for misattribution, however, has to go to The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, which printed the list twice in three weeks in mid-2000, the first time crediting it to "Duluth state Rep. Brooks Coleman of Duluth," and the second time to Bill Gates.

Thanks Chris. I thought I had read this someplace before and several years ago! Oh well, always good to see it again and with the other lines as well.

susan

I know what ya mean. I have a stepson who is slowly maturing into a real human being but, at times, still exhibits what I call narcissistic entitlement. It's all about him.......
:roll:

I could go on a very LOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG rant about this subject.

But, I'm restricting...............for now.

I will say that I saw Bill Gates on TV and he is funding high schools and is having some success with turning things around in small doses. For the sake of our country's future.

Didn't find exactly what you're looking for? Search again here:

Custom Search

Please contact our Webmaster with questions or comments.

Please read our PRIVACY statement and Terms of Use

Please contact our Webmaster with questions or comments.
Please read our PRIVACY statement and Terms of Use
Copyright 2000 - 2012 by OES.org. All rights reserved.