Andy Rooney comments...Funny sort a =D
>sometimes controversial essays that have been the signature end piece >of 60 Minutes for decades: > >1. Rooney on Monica.>Can you believe it? Monica turned 28 this week. It seems like only >yesterday that she was crawling round the White House on her hands and >knees. > >2. Rooney on Vegetarians. >Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning "lousy hunter." > >3. Rooney on Prisoners.>Did you know that it costs $40,000 a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, >for forty-thousand bucks a piece I'll take a few prisoners into my >house. I live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on the windows. I >don't think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think >they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate >electricity. And, if they don't want to run, they can rest in the chair >that's hooked up to the generator. > >4. Rooney on Fabric Softeners.>My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. >Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their >breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric softeners are how our wives >mark their territory. We can take off the ring. But, it's hard to get >that April Fresh scent out of your clothes. > >5. Rooney on morning differences.>Men and women are different in the morning. We men wake up aroused in >the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the >women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" >It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve. |
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LOL.....  |
| I love it! Number 5 seems true at any time of the day though. |
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So, is #5 supposed to be a BAD THING   |
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