Mother's Day let down...
 ) but I'm starting to think I raised the most ungrateful children in the entire world. I'd give anything to be back in the days when the kids brought macaroni Mother's Day projects home from school and made you feel like a million bucks.
My daughter, who was supposed to be home for four day over the holiday suddenly announced on Sat that there had been a change in plans and she needed to leave early. This was after I had taken two days off work to take her shopping and spend mega bucks on her. She has both a cell phone and an 800 minute pre paid phone card (which I gave her last week). Yet I didn't get so much as a phone call yesterday (forget even thinking about a homemade macaroni card) 
My son, 27 married and gainfully employed did manage a phone call but after supporting him through 5 years of college and one year of graduate school am I out of line in thinking THIS MIGHT BE THE year he actully sends me a card???? Isn't that what wives are for
I hate to sound so petty but I am really hurt by my kids, who I love dearly, but apparently haven't raised very well. My own Mom is gone but I know that throughout my adult life I never once forgot a Birthday or Mother's Day. To top it off I got to spend my Mother's Day taking Dougs Mother (who got flowers and a card) out to dinner. All she did was complain through the entire meal. I know Mother's day is a contrived holiday but does anyone else feel a little left out and neglected? Thanks for letting me vent!!! |
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Ginny, I don't think it's the way you raised your kids, it's just the kids themselves. I've noticed that when they get into their late teens/twenties they forget the importance of holidays They seem to go through a selfish stage: if it isn't about them they don't care  Same thing here, I may or may not get a card, if I do it will be late. |
| Ginny, I'm sorry you had a crummy Mother's Day. But as Holly said, your children's behavior has nothing to do with how you raised them. My parents treated all 4 of us kids the same and my sister and I turned out nice. We're not sure what happened to my brothers. One brother lives with my mom (she basically supports him) and he didn't get her a card! So it's not your fault.
And you did your good deed for the year by taking Doug's mom out and listening to her. There's a special place in heaven for patient daughters-in-law. |
| It's not you Ginny.....
When I was little my Dad always made Mother's Day a big deal, we'd plan ahead, he'd take us out to get a gift and help us make a card, we'd treat Mom like a Queen all day cooking and cleaning etc... After my ex and I split up, my Dad wanted to make sure those things were done for my kids too, so he took them out, got them to copy out a poem and then put their handprints on it and framed them. He helped them each get me a gift, and made a cake. 
Now though that I am remarried, the last 4 years there have been no real mother's day anything, barely acknowledged, if anything. I was quite angry with my husband for not taking my kids out to make a card or buy a gift, and it has nothing to do with me. I wasn't upset for my sake, I don't "neeed" a card or a gift... I was upset for them because I know they felt bad when they realized they had forgotten. I was raised to think of Mother's Day as a day to show Mom just how much you love and appreciate her, to thank her for all she does. My kids started out being raised that way also, so this year especially sucked. My husband didn't even call his mother, and even though I don't like the woman, I did encourage him to at least call her. He didn't. |
 I know what you mean!! Some of my best memories are the "Mother's Day" preparations we made when we were kids. My Dad ALWAYS made sure it was a "big" day. We would plan for weeks over the cakes and meals (usually pretty terrible) that we would make. But I know my Mom loved every minute of it.
Shame on your husband for not taking charge!!! I did get a Mother's Day card from Ty and Tasker |
| I'm so sorry. I know how much it would break my mom's heart if I did something like that. I'm sure your daughter feels terrible that she forgot to call ...or for whatever reason.
Quote: My son, 27 married and gainfully employed did manage a phone call but after supporting him through 5 years of college and one year of graduate school am I out of line in thinking THIS MIGHT BE THE year he actully sends me a card???? Isn't that what wives are for
That would upset me. I always thought it was my job too, and can't imagine how my husband did w/o me all these years.  He says he never forgot a mother's day, but something inside of me says,... his mother's day may have fallen a day or two after it. Mr. J always has good intentions and the gift sitting at home, but "mailing it off" seems to be where he falls short. I remember seeing his sister get a birthday present a year later (well, he was also stationed in korea... which is some of the reason for the delay). Anyway, if I had a DIL, I would be upset if "combined" (husband and wife) ...I didn't receive jack.
I'm so glad ty and tasker didn't forget. they're so great  |
| Maybe there was something in the air. It was a very disappointing day to have a birthday yesterday, too.
I agree with the fact that they are in their 20s, which can make them very self centered. Teenagers are self centered, but they still live under your roof so you can generally remind them of things like this. But when they are off on their own, they are for sure in Me-land. Even your son, who is my age, probably just had 'other things' on his mind and didn't even realize the day was coming up. Not that any of this makes it better, but I think as they get a little older they'll re-realize how important this day is. Sorry it was a bummer, though. |
| Billy took me out for breakfast.
At breakfast he looks at me and said.... "Oh yeah, Happy Mother's Day" Thanks a lot. He didn't know it was Mother's day until the waitress wished me a Happy Mother's Day. Luckily he did get me a small present last week. At around 7pm last night I asked Ryan if he had made me anything for Mother's Day. He said Oh Yay, Hang on...... He went to his backpack and came back with a brown lunch bag that was decorated. I opened it to find a beaded necklace. A Butterfy he had colored with a magnet on it so it hangs on the fridge. Also a decorated paper mug. Inside was a herbal tea bag. Also a coupon book for chores he is going to do....which will never happen 
Also a pink heart shaped card. I made out pretty well this year. I am sure though...once the kids get older I will be forgotten. Billy didn't even call his Mom yesterday. Luckily I was in charge of the card. I was pretty hung over yesterday....but did manage to give Mom a call....at 10pm... Oops! |
Ladies, I've found men can be mighty dense. I have to lay out what I expect for holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. Fortunately I can do this weeks in advance and he remembers.....I saw him write it down once.  A few off hand reminders also helps........If you are tolling for jewelry, e.g. show him pictures from the newspaper. Be seductive when you do it, that always helps. Telepathy doesn't work, I've tried.
With kids, you may have to lay the guilt trip on them today or soon. "You couldn't even send a card or flowers?? What, your Starbucks coffee more important?" Which.......reminds me of a story from Saturday. A friend was chuckling about her grown and married daughter. Remember a few weeks ago the family promo for cell phone, get 4 phones? Daughter did and gave husband one and two to her sons, ages 11 and 13. While the 11 year old honored the agreement to use it just to call for pick up after soccer practice (why, I always knew when it ended??) the 13 year old went nuts. Over $350 just for the one son's phone. I'm sure that's exactly what the phone company was counting on  |
| aww Ginny I'm sorry.. if it makes you feel any better Walter didnt get me anything for the third year in a row! |
| Ginny - sorry u had a bad day.
But I do have a solution for you. My oldest son goes to a university in Michigan. And I live in Louisiana. He would never call me - I would call him to make sure he was ok. Finally I called one day and got his voice mail and left him this message: "Hi this is your birth mother calling. I haven't seen you or spoken to you in the longest time, and it is just killing me to know what you look like and sound like now. Do you think you have it in your heart to call me at least once a week to tell me hi and that you are still alive? I don't believe you realized that I was a single mother when I raised you and the scarifices I made... If you could just look into your heart...." Needless to say I now get a phone call once a week. Told him if I didn't get a Mother's Day, and a Birthday card from him....well the next time he needed some $ - it would be in the same place as the cards he got for me.  |
| LMAO |
| LMAO reading these posts
On Saturday night I made sure my 3 little ones knew that I expected to sleep in and get breakfast in bed
Sunday morning DH actually got out of bed first- later told me he kept waking up all night because he knew I wanted him to get up first! Breakfast in bed delivered with; 6yr old- a lovely big Heart that said "I love you because you gave me a band aid when I was hurt and I love to hug you" A petunia planted in a dixie cup in a spray painted gold shoe! 8 yr old- paper bag decorated with hearts with pictures of a mountain and the beach tucked inside. Also a small canvas bag paintes with flowers. After grocery shopping around 4pm, DH brought home flowers
Lark - Ambrose's (aka Noodle) Mommy |
| Mine was okay. Both kids were home, son came up from Alexandria, VA and daughter is home from college. Son gave me a book and a Barnes & Noble gift certificate, daughter didn't get me anything but said she wants to get me something in Spain (she leaves this Saturday for 5 weeks). I told them that all I really needed for Mother's Day was to have them with me, so I got my wish that way.
I didn't even get a card from my husband - I'm not HIS mother, you know. Turn-about's fair play - Father's Day is coming up.
Unfortunately, my mother is gone, but we did take both my in-laws out for dinner yesterday. It's nice just getting together like that, because they're of the age where they don't need anything but the company. I remember once when my brother had the audacity to forget MD. He was in the service but based in the US, and he was never good with remembering ANY holidays anyway, but missing MD was a BIG mistake! My mom called him that Monday and said - Don't you EVER forget MD again!! And he never did! |
| Well, mine seems to have gotten better over the years...being a step-mom usually goes unnoticed and all but forgotten...I am not their mother, but for the past 7ral years, I have helped raise, feed and clothed the kids...
Yesterday morning I woke up and Brian gave me a good morning/happy mothers day kiss  Then about 4 pm the kids came over for dinner and they actually had a card for me with a gift certificate to bed, bath and beyond....then they did the dishes......wow.....it was a nice day
ps...I did call julie (the kids mom) and invited her over for dinner too, but she said the best gift was alone time....lol....so, it really did work out! |
| You think you feel bad? My BD was the 5th, my anniversary was the
11th and of course mother's day... nadda. I bought carpet (for myself) for the LR and I did the installation almost entirely by myself - over my birthday weekend. Of all the things they could have done or bought for me I would have like some help the most! I know they love me, and I probably would have felt like anything they bought would have been a waste of money. So I guess after all that, I am at least glad they didn't run out just to spend money because they felt obligated. Shellie |
| Darcy, that is so great that you invited the kids Mom!!!! I always admire people who are able to maintain a good relationship with the spose of their ex, it's so important but so rare!!!! |
It really is a strange relationship....Brian was extremely close with Jules parents...they were more like my inlaws than the real ones  B and J were grade school sweethearts, got married way too young and B IS a pistol to live with...julie is quiet and never speaks out...it just didnt work for them....thats not to say that they dont still have their issues with each other, but they do still care for each other and both love their kids....
If it werent for their divorce, I wouldnt be married to the love of my life...I had nothing to do with their breakup, they were divorced for 10 yrs before I even showed up..... Collie always asks me if I get jealous.. I say no....she askes "what if they go out to dinner together?"...my response has always been...." Id be scared if I were you.....you probably did something really really bad....." |
| Hmmm....I guess I have a different take on Mother's day. I like the corny stuff the kids make me at school. Hubby asked what I wanted...I told him that I wanted to just stay home...maybe watch a movie with the kids and make some popcorn. I just wanted whatever the kids made me at school....he took them out to buy some annuals and they even planted them for me.
The day before MD my FIL called and said we should all come over (they live an hour away...we have seen them for the past 3 weekends already)the last thing hubby wanted to do was to drive an hour (he has a 3 hour daily commute to work)but he told them ok....then yesterday he called and said we werent coming that I wasnt feeling well  (sure blame it on me ) Every year we go thru the same crap. I dont want to go to the inlaws on Mothers day.(never mind that I have my own mom....the inlaws would never think that I wanted to see my own mom) I just want to stay home. Heck she has had 50 some odd years of mothers day....me on the other hand have only been a mom for 12 years.
I told my kids that when they were mom's themselves is wasnt gonna GUILT them into coming and seeing me on MD. |
Darcy wrote: It really is a strange relationship....Brian was extremely close with Jules parents...they were more like my inlaws than the real ones
B and J were grade school sweethearts, got married way too young and B IS a pistol to live with...julie is quiet and never speaks out...it just didnt work for them....thats not to say that they dont still have their issues with each other, but they do still care for each other and both love their kids....If it werent for their divorce, I wouldnt be married to the love of my life...I had nothing to do with their breakup, they were divorced for 10 yrs before I even showed up..... Collie always asks me if I get jealous.. I say no....she askes "what if they go out to dinner together?"...my response has always been...." Id be scared if I were you.....you probably did something really really bad....." HAHAHAHA!!!! I know that when I first met Doug's ex, not getting along was the farthest thing from my mind. They had been divorced for YEARS before I even met him so it never occurred to me that there would be a problem. I was always really nice to my ex's women (even when we were married ). I was suprised when I discovered that not only did she not want to have a good relationship but when I tried to introduce myself and toalk to her she literally turned her back on me. Oh well, her loss!! His kids are grown so it's not like we have that much contact, only at graduations etc. |
| Naw, it has never been like that with us...however Julies husband Bruno, has severe issues re Brian...I think Bruno wishes that he were the kids father, and/or Brian was a deadbeat dad......its just not so.....julie and I took collie prom dress shopping, spending 4 hours at the mall...I think we had more fun than colleen......besides, she thinks Im a saint/angel for marrying Brian |
| This doesn't do much to make you feel better, but one thing I've noticed is that cards are so important to older people, but most people that I know 30 and under don't put much emphasis on them at all. I called my mom and, to me, I think that's better than a card. My mom always says, "Is my card in the mail?" and I say "Yeah, you should get it any day now!" She knows I love her and that the call is my card. Well, that and the dinner we always take her out for. I think that's the real reason I'm forgiven. |
| I have every card ever given to me by my kids |
| My dogs got my mom a card but didn't get me anything, the little weasels!
I took my mom to a dog show for mother's day, I don't know if she enjoyed that or not. I think it helped that Deb tried to get her drunk! |
| My 17 yr old gave me a wine glass engraved with "Happy Mother's Day" with both sons' names on it....He gave it to me on Saturday...which was OK, I guess..... Yesterday I did not even get a Happy Mother's day wish...still OK, I guess...
My 14 year old gave me nothing, and announced that he doesn't believe in Mother's Day....Then proceeded to tell me that the 17 year old spent $25 on a Mother's Day present for his favourite manager at work
Go figure.... |
| KIDS!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR |
Tasker's Mom wrote: I have every card ever given to me by my kids
Lol. I know you do because my mom does too. |
| My 19 year old gave me a lovely card and present, my 22 year old NOTHING not even a "Happy Mothers Day Mom". He was too busy to even stop and say that, now he is off on holidays for the rest of the week but I will remind him when he gets home that he forgot I won't let him forget that for awhile, just waiting till he wants something then I will remind him
I still think it is too commercial now, I loved the days when they came home from school when they were little with a homemade card and something they made at school for mom. I still have those and they are priceless to me than anything that can be brought at a shop. |
| My oldest graduated from college on May 6th.
The second-born got straight A's this semester. He will graduate from college in December - ate, due to his advisor's mistake. The baby just finished her sophmore year. She is waiting on one more grade in, but she most likely has straights A's also. She has applied for an assistant TA position for next Fall. If the last grade is an A, she will probably get it. And only 4 more years of college for her. She has started talking about getting her doctorate too.....
They came over for dinner and hung around for awhile. A card and gift certificates to my favorite place. And they called their grandmothers yesterday, after a reminder. It's taken years, but they are finally turning out to be the good adults we hoped to raise. And there were many times we didn't think it would ever happen. |
Tasker's Mom wrote: I have every card ever given to me by my kids And report card, every picture, and all the misshapen doodads kids make in school |
bestdogsx4 wrote: Tasker's Mom wrote: I have every card ever given to me by my kids And report card, every picture, and all the misshapen doodads kids make in school Welllllllllllllllllllllll, yeah I have a special trunk FULL of all those lovely things!! |
| My mother paid my sisters and I back by giving us everything she had collected over the years, how interesting to know that all my report cards from elementary school said I talk too much |
| the year before last same thing happened to me, I did not want a row, so last year I forgot their birthdays christmas. Stopped doing all things I would normally do for them. Have to admit it was really hard. this year recieved cards saying how much they appreciated what I do for them flowers out for lunch the lot. I looked at the year I forgot everything as me time. Its the small things they miss. luv Jill. I hope next year is better for you. |
| Oh well, what is the old saying............"I hope I grow old enough to be a burden on my children" |
| I'm with you on that one Ginny |
| (((HUGS))) I'm so sorry. I have duties for both my mom & MIL. My husband calls his mom, but I buy the gift/card. I didn't get out early enough to buy her a gift to mail, but I did order her 18 assorted color roses delivered to her at work. She said that was a nice surprise and the flowers were gorgous. I'm always up on the holidays, because I don't want to disappoint her and give her a reason to dislike me.
I managed to talk to my Mom late Sunday night, but her birthday was Thursday too. I had planned on seeing her Saturday and taking her her gifts. My parents went on a motorcycle trip this weekend - so it wasn't my fault she didn't get much for Mother's day/her birthday. I still haven't seen her and probably won't until next weekend. I got a new puppy - which was NOT what I wanted right now (I wanted a handmade card and didn't get that - lol). We adopted Joy from the Humane Society. She looks like a rat terrier. She's sweet, good-tempered, spayed, hasn't barked once. She is a great dog so far. It's just the rest of the crew are having a time adjusting and that has not been fun. Jasper loves playing with her, but he barks at her non-stop when she's not playing with him. I got a headache for Mother's day. |
| PICTURES!!!! |
Tasker's Mom wrote: PICTURES!!!!
Just took 3 of her. They're waiting on approval...excuse my laundry basket though - need to put the clothes away. |
| Tasker's Mom,
In my family we make a huge deal out of holidays. Or at least acknowledgement of. I would never dream of forgetting my mom. She's one of the most important people in my life. Forever. I think it's terrible that your kids didn't acknowledge you on Mother's Day. It doesn't have to be a present per se but mostly the care and consideration. I think you should make a big deal out of it and teach them a lesson. I feel it would be more of a lesson in having consideration for someone else's feelings. I think it's OK for you to do that as their mom because if you don't teach them I really doubt they'll figure it out on their own. And if they disrespect you how are they treating others? It sounds like you have been a wonderful mother to them. I definitely think you should have at the very least been acknowledged! I am completely over the ME ME ME society that we seem to have created in the younger generation. And the entitlement. We went to a funeral on Mother's Day. Our friends buried their 19 year old son. He was very self centered and indulged mostly thinking only of himself and having fun. Probably a drug related death. It is very devastating for the family. |
| This by far was the worst Mother's Day ever for me. I had to work two hours and then had to grocery shop. First thing in the morning I got a text message from my middle child 25 year old "Happy Mother's Day" I felt insulted. This is the one who just graduated from college. The other daughter had sent a card...but that was it!
My fifth child who lives at home promised to take me out to dinner, but had car trouble so, instead I paid for a AAA membership for him today. The other son is away at school and sent an "I M" Happy Mother's Day. For sure, it wasn't! Oh yeah I have flowers on the kitchen table but they are from outside. I have a pair of pj's I purchased myself at the grocery store but not ONE gift from any one of the five kids who I raised on my own! |
| Good grief!
Now I'm really grateful I opted to never have kids. In fact, since it's still possible, I think I may schedule a spay surgery for myself at my earliest convenience
My Mom left the country for mother's day. It was her gift to herself, I think. My BIL is in Iraq for the 14th time (give or take) so my sister moved back in with my parents with her two young kids, and though my mom loves them dearly, she hopped a plan to Norway with a cheery "not sure who I'll be staying with so don't bother calling me, hon, and don't send me flowers at the house as your father won't remember to bring them in before the night before I'm due home anyway". I think she has the right idea. That and the fact that she acknowledges that her children are hopeless ingrates so she leaves us voice mails and sends up e-mail alerts at least once a week for three months before every mother's day, and at least nine months in advance before her birthday. We have NEVER missed a mother's day or or her birthday. We're afraid to. She knows where we live. Now, my father on the other hand - HE has cause to complain. He gets squat. Maybe a phone call. Usually only if I'm having a problem with my car. He complains but I just tell him he needs to campaign like my mom does. At least he remembers their anniversary. I call him the day before. Mom hates that, as this takes away her ability to complain about him, so I try to call him covertly. But she knows that man can't remember his own birthday, so she never buys it
I celebrated mother's day, given that my mom has abandoned us, apparently, by calling my sister and wishing her a happy mother's day. Maybe that will be my new tradition. It was really nice. My dogs got me nada, though Sybil did look like she was willing to share the chewed purloined plastic bottle she got from who knows where. I admit I was sort of underwhelmed, but not surprised. Kristine |
| My mom wouldn't answer the phone today. Her loss. It was going to be a day of fun, wining and dining. I hope she has learned her lesson. |
ButtersStotch wrote: My mom wouldn't answer the phone today. Why? |
| Today was the first time in about 40 years that I didn't take my Mom out for breakfast, she is 97 now and it's to hard for her to get around anymore and I don't think she even remembers what mday is anymore and I have such a bad cold I did not want to share it with her.
My kids have always been good about bdays and mdays but a few years ago I told them I didn't need anymore presents just rememberance . So today I got 3 phone calls from the out of towners and a drop in from the in towner, I'm happy but my biggest thrill was an email from Germany from a grandson who is on vacation over there |
| 3 of my kids thought mother's day was next week, but managed to call or come over. I am pretty sure the son who is in the army (and thought M-s day was next week) is sending flowers. Those who were mistaken about the date were very embarrassed and contrite. My daughter baked cookies (at my house, using my stuff, but that's ok--she's a college kid and her apt. isn't stocked very well). I know she has something in the works but it isn't completed yet. My oldest son got me a dvd and a CD of some music he thought I'd enjoy. He's right--and it's something I'd never have found. He and my two youngest kids are real music afficianados and are always introducing me to new music. I think he gets a kick out of the fact that I can venture beyond golden oldies from time to time.
There have been years when I was disappointed because no seemed to remember that it was Mother's day and learned to just make it less of a big deal than I really wanted it to be. Truth is I know that my kids love me--and some times take me for granted. No one has money right now, which is ok. I don't really need stuff. The calls and spending time meant a lot more than anything that could be bought. My oldest was planning to be home for the weekend, and ended up extending the visit by a day because the mother of one of his dearest friends passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. Funeral is Mon. (which is today it seems for many of you but tomorrow for us). Very sad--she raised lovely kids and was exceptionally kind to my son when he was going through a rough patch and we were at a complete loss. Sat. marked the 3rd anniversary of my mother's passing. I remember that year fearing that she would die on Mother's Day, but she did not. So, I learned to be grateful for small things, which in the end, are really the most important things in life. |
Tasker's Mom wrote: ......"I hope I grow old enough to be a burden on my children"....
Careful............ "What burden?" Isn't that what nursing homes are for? (NO, I don't agree with that, but a lot kids now days would drop that burden off at the front door and never think twice about it!) 
My son stopped by Friday afternoon with our youngest grandson for about an hour before having to pick up his other two boys at school. He gave me a beautiful heart shaped (locket) necklace. It has another smaller, fancier heart on the front with a stone in the center of that one. Above the heart it says "I Love You." I was somewhat disappointed that he didn't at least call today, but I won't complain........ after all, he has a MIL that I have to share him with. And, we all know that when a man leaves home it's the wife's family that usually ranks number one on holidays.
My nephew stopped by today with a beautiful vase full of flowers. Has an orchid, big open roses, a few other large flowers with lots of greenery and fillers. SORRY! Better later than never - HAPPY BELATED MOTHERS DAY TO EVERYONE!!! |
| Hi Ginny,
I can so relate to your post and know exactly how you are feeling. For many years both my boys have forgotten my birthday or Mothers Day and while I didn't mention it, I was always hurt. This year for the first time they remembered and I was beside myself with joy. Lets hope that happens to you next year. I know this post doesn't help ease how you are feeling but,perhaps will help in a small way when they will remember - your joy will be intensified 10 times over. I agree with the posters..it's not about you, rather them and sadly most "kids" tend to be selfish until they mature. Some mature slower than others. Happy Mothers Day Ginny! |
| A daughter's a daughter the rest of her life
A son is a son 'til he takes him a wife. |
| hahahahaha
I was so surprised when this post surfaced, it's TWO YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!!!! How does that happen. Things have improved slightly over the last two years, I did get phone calls from BOTH my kids yesterday. I've given up worrying about what they do or don't do on a holiday, they are healthy and happy and doing well in their lives so what more could I ask for.
We took Doug's mother out for dinner to a LOVELY restaurant last night (I had two glasses of wine ). She of course complained about everything but I had a great meal, came home and fell asleep EARLY (the wine and a weekend of on call). I NEVER drink since I'm always "oncall" but last night I decided this was one EMT the world could do without for 24 hours |
| Ahahahaa! I didn't notice that, Ginny!
I'm glad things look a little better now, and glad you enjoyed the wine over the whine. |
| Ginny, you were not alone. I have 4 children. Not one call. Then about 9PM my middle daughter called from Utha. She was on a trip for work. It just so happens that her daughter lives there. But not a word from the other 3. They ALL forgoy my birthday in March, good greif it was on St Paddys day. Then 2 days later a card from the same daughter, she was in Florida. I always made a big deal about Mom and Dads day.
as for Richard he says I am not his mother nor they are not his kids. |
| Wow. I really wish I had a better relationship with my mum. The thought of taking her out for breakfast terrifies me (because she's usually consumed half a bottle of vodka by then but also our problems go much deeper) but if we got on better I would love to do those things. Can i adopt a mum? I can't even imagine shopping, walking or going out with a mum figure it must be awesome! |
| Ginny,
I understand We all work hard as mothers no pay , no sick days, no vacations etc. Our pay is our babies smiles and wet sticky hugs then they grow up My children have always known how important mothers day is to me One year when they were very young my husband forgot ( ) my kids cried that he did not help and I wanted to hurt him. My mom will be 95 in dec and lives 2.5 hrs away My hubby and I went and spent the day with her fri. I gave her Jasmine soaps and a bird feeder and a mug with forget me nots and a lovely verse on it ( she likes a nice coffee mug) My daughter came with her boyfriend (she does not live at home We all went to breakfast at the fire hall Hubby and son too. I love the fire hall breakfasts . Jason got me two large yankee candles and I had not opened then 5 min when my DH picked one up to smell and dropped it and broke it!!!! My daughter got me a frog holder with a candle (LOVE frogs and candles) I had a good day HAPPY MOTHERS DAY all you moms. |
| I'm sorry some of you had lousy Mother's Days. I'm not a mother (not to humans). I went to my mom's, and she cooked ME dinner! However, I cleaned out 2 closets and filled my trunk with my father's clothes to take to Goodwill (he's been dead almost 5 years). I did the dinner dishes and washed the kitchen floor. All in all a nice day and next weekend my niece comes in from NM and she and my sister (her mother) and I will go to mom's. They will stay overnight. It's hard when the family is spread all over the country. |
| THIS POST IS TWO YEARS OLD
I had a very pleasant MD this year. |
Tasker's Mom wrote: THIS POST IS TWO YEARS OLD
I had a very pleasant MD this year.
Maybe your kids read the forum?
Too funny! Happy your M day experience has improved.
Kristine |
| Mother's Day for me is very difficult for a few reasons....both of my parents have passed away about a year and a half apart. So for obvious reasons it is hard to have a Mother's Day without thinking about how much I still miss her even after 6 years.
To add to the emotional disaray my Father passed away 5 years ago, I think in the 7th of May. That was the last day I spoke with him. My sister found his body on Mother's Day....and I got that dreaded phn call, which was May 11th. So this year the dates line up with the time of his passing. My Mother's Birthday is tomorrow, May 13th...so my emotions are pretty messed up for about a week. So when Mother's Day arrives I try to put on a happy face, I sure don't want to be a downer. I did attempt to attend mass but had to leave before communion because I had such a bad migraine coming on...jeez. (i took meds and was ok in about an hour after)(see I said I was stressed and all this talk of Mothers during the sermon took me down lol) So Mother's Day was ok....my son sent me flowers on Friday, which was a pleasant surprise. I had my hubby take a pic of me holding the flowers when they opened to I can send a pic back to them with a Thank you note. He also called me last night and we had a very nice conversation. My hubby gave me a card, washed all the floors, and we had brunch at home. He also cooked dinner. It was just nice spending the day together. My youngest son and my daughter each gave me a card which where both very thoughtful. My Stepson, who i raised, I never heard from him. My hubby talked to him on Saturday, but no phn call or card on Sunday. I try not to let it hurt my heart but it does. We took the dogs out in the Shaggy Shuttle (which is a big treat to them) and stopped off at Brusters for an ice cream (strawberry for me, butter pecan for hubby) and each of the girls got a small vanilla sundae with a doggy bone in the middle. The doggy sundae is made special for the dogs at Brusters. The three of them really enjoyed their treats. Of course the girls gave me tons of kisses and the two Aussies entertained me with their goofy playing. Asia's knickname is clown eyes because she ia always looking around for mischief. lol Oh and sweet Elissa(Pepsi's Mommy) wished me a Happy Mom's Day to her Fl Mom.
Onward and upward to Father's Day! |
Tasker's Mom wrote: THIS POST IS TWO YEARS OLD
Tasker's Mom, the "getting pregnant after a tubal" post is older than this and surfaces about every other month! Some topics refuse to die. |
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Just didn't want anyone to think I was STILL miserable |
| Aw Ginny, I'm so sorry. Kids that age are very selfish. They just don't realize how important even small things are to us. They'll come around when they have kids, and see the incredible value of their mom. Hang in, sweetie! |
| After re-reading this thread that is from TWO YEARS AGO .....I love the card lil J colored for me even more. It's my first (since he couldn't draw at 1)!! I think what Ron said is so true about a son only being a son until he gets married, so I get sad all the time whenever I think about them growing up!!!
I kept complaining all week ...okay, for 2 wks that Yuki is going through some sort of coat change and her hair is so matted. She needed a bath + grooming but I can't do it with 1000 questions and needs from my 3 rugrats. husband: Where's the peanuts? me: on the shelf you're looking at husband: where? me: directly in front of you next to the craisins husband: I don't see it me: can't I get anything done w/o you needing to be spoonfed! okay, i didn't say that.
anyway, so he took the kids to the park and then to run some errands so I can groom yuki in peace!! I feel so good when the house, kids, and dogs are clean! So it was a wonderful mother's day!  |
| Yuki looks WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Happy mothers day to all!! we are all moms to our dogs right? I mean we feed them, bathe them, love them, etc......Panda got me a nice card and even my next door neighbors dogs sent over a card...lol...
I called my mom and spent the next 2 hours on the phone with her (good thing it was the weekend)...Brian did all of the laundry for me, but of course i had to try to vacuum...then slept off and on all day...all that shopping with lisa made me very tired |
| I had a very special mothers day. My daughter graduated for the University of Illinois (Champaign)! Yes, I cried through the whole thing. My heart was so filled with joy, I thought it would burst! We had Moms day dinner Saturday. It was great! My son brought me flowers and my daughter got me Jordin Sparks CD. Pups all kissed me! |
| I had a good Mother's Day as well. Got to sleep in, then had a leisurely day to putz around. We had Breanna and baby Will overnight from Saturday, as the 10th was LeAnne's b-day and they went out with friends.
They stopped out to pick up the kids and wish me happy MD. Both Travis and Lisa called in the morning to wish me happy MD. I got a hitch and back hitch carrier for the Element on Saturday, so I told Todd that was good for a present, as I have been really wanting them! And we are going out to NY on Thursday, so then I can buy something there and tell him it is for MD too!
Then in the afternoon I did a transport for one of the rescue bassets, nice day for a drive. LeAnne and the kids rode with. We stopped at a Dairy Queen on the way home and had a yummy treat. Then we came to our house and brushed out Bre's pony and our 2 horses. A nice relaxing day, doing fun stuff. Hope you all had a great day too. |
Ron wrote: ButtersStotch wrote: My mom wouldn't answer the phone today. Why?That was probably bad wording on my part-- she's not avoiding me or anything! Her boyfriend tied up the line on their dial-up internet connection most of the day. Then, when I finally got through, she had gone to my sister's (who just had surgery) to help her. I called over there and just missed her. She has a cell phone but thinks if she leaves it on, the battery will run out in 5 minutes so she keeps it off most of the time. Needless to say, I tried al day but never managed to get a hold of her. |
Joahaeyo wrote: I think what Ron said is so true about a son only being a son until he gets married, so I get sad all the time whenever I think about them growing up!!! There are exceptions you know. |
Maxmm wrote: My dogs got my mom a card but didn't get me anything, the little weasels!
I took my mom to a dog show for mother's day, I don't know if she enjoyed that or not. I think it helped that Deb tried to get her drunk! Which dog show???? Lebanon? I tried to get my mom to go to that dog show with me but she decided to go down to VA to visit my sister instead.
Ginny and all you other mothers that didn't have so much of a day...sorry. |
| So sorry your mother's day was crumby! So Happy Mother's Day! I feel very let down myself, but not by my kids. My 9 year old did bring me home a gift he made, and the other one is only 2, so I expected only a tantrum at some point during the day. He did not disappoint! Lol. What hurt my feelings was that my mother didn't get me a card. I know I'm not her mother, but I am a mother nonetheless. I've raised both of my boys on my own. I was widowed twice, both times when my boys were infants. It's a daily struggle, but I am proud of the job I'm doing. I guess a pat on the back in the form of a card from my mother was something I could have used and maybe needed. We were supposed to go shopping together today for flowers for our yards, but she canceled on me this morning saying she was going with my dad instead. I feel like a big baby, but can't help but feel hurt. It truly is a thankless job! Lol. Take yourself out, treat yourself to something you normally wouldn't. You deserve it! Child rearing is most definitely the hardest job in the world! You should tell your children of yourdisappointment. I would never forget my mother, nor have I ever on any holiday. |
| I too was and have been dissappointed year after year by adulr daughters who either don't send cards[I don't even look for gifts anymore] or send them late after the fact for birthdays\mothers day even christmas One year my husband bought me a card just in case I didn t get one. I was grateful but then I said don't do it again I'm not your mother they are the ones who should be doing this. First time I've spoken about this in public and I feel a lot better for doing so |
| Well I will add my 2 pence worth. Sorry that your kids & a lot of your kids forget. As I don't have kids but a step daughter & I don't worry about cards & things like that. Before I met Lori I never got a xmas cards,birthday cards unless I had a girlfriend. As a bloke I never forgot mother & father day card or any other occasion. Birthday's I am not good at so my brothers children get a extra present at xmas & I think they know that I am rubbish with birthdays. I would say too all you ladies don't take it too heart being honest lots of other things are in peoples mind as they get older there values change & maybe mothers & fathers day is one of them. Just like myself in my heart I don't believe in these things but just to please people I do them, which is wrong in some ways. I would say about 70% would do things for you but remember they do change when they are adults & some times for the worst That's Just me Parwaz |
| Me too. My daughter is an only child who I brought up after her dad went off with someone else. She rarely makes an effort on Mother's Day but I thought now she has a baby of her own this might change. We were so close when she was little. She wanted for nothing. The worst thing about this year was listening to colleagues relating all the lovely things their daughters had done for them. I feel let down and resentful. If it wasn't for my lovely granddaughter I'd think twice about getting in touch. |
| Yes I know this is a very old topic, but re-reading it reminded me of when I was 13 or 14 and too wrapped up in my own world, and didn't get my mom a MD card. I remember getting very defensive when she asked why I hadn't gotten her a card, and got very sarcastic and gave her a dollar and told her to go buy a card. That was almost 50 years ago, and it still hurts me that I was that cruel to my wonderful mom, whom I'm sure didn't even remember that after a few years. I will always remember that and feel ashamed of my actions and and hurtful words. Sorry, Mom.... |
You said that to your MOTHER and she let you live????  My mother would have slapped me down.Your mom knows you are sorry. Moms understand their kids. |
| Thanks, Paula! |
| No, that is not what wives are for. The are not "card getters". |
| i know how you flee i have boys they donot care or my ah of a husband every year my boys are5 14 and 11 he said your not my mom who gets to go out tonice time iam 51 what the hell |
| You've let your husband get away with it, don't ruin future wives. Train those sons! If you have a mother still living, fuss over her. Sometimes the best way to hide anger is to give yourself to someone else's needs. Maybe your boys will notice. By all means, declare Mother's Day your day off. When they balk tell them, "Since you don't seem to care, I'll celebrate myself." Leave the house. Go to a movie, eat dinner out. |
| Sometimes I think holidays are so hard for families because there are so many expectations. Like "oh, it's the holiday and we are related so we have to have a good time even though we don't get along." I agree with Susan. Take the day off and celebrate yourself. |
| I guess I am a lucky mum. My 3 have always remembered mum's day-with help from their sister-2boys and a girl. Even Sprocket gave me a dog biscuit wrapped up in newspaper last year. We are a mad family-they had a choice-be mad or sensible when they were little-they chose mad. On a sad moment though,I get myself a small pink plant of some sort and put it by my fish pond (with a few tears I must be honest) for my mum. She loved my pond and sat by it for many a happy cuppa.x |
| I don't get upset over this anymore. I have 3 grown up stepsons who I love to bits and get on really well with. In 15 years I've never had a Birthday card let alone a Mothers Day Card from any of them. Last year despite my prompting they all forgot/ignored their fathers 60th Birthday. Dogs are much better value in my humble opinion |
| Its unfortunate that so many of us have depressing Mother's Days. I am trying to focus on the fact that I have a wonderful mother who is 72, raised 5 children and continues to remember all of us especially for every holiday, birthday, etc. If I focus too much on my 3 sons (youngest is 17) and husband and how little they appreciate me, I will certainly be depressed. Once again, no gift or card for mother's day. Oh well. |
| Hi all of you wonderful mothers, I have no idea how you raise 3 or 4 kids. My only child a daughter and I have had to negotiate the holidays, Mother's Day (I think it is my day and she only has 1 mother) is Not negotiable and either is Christmas. We take turns for Thanksgiving. Her Dad died 10 years ago when our daughter was 27 years old and these things are very important to me. I have remarried, but it is not quite the same. We went to a conference in the Bay area of California last weekend and my daughter and her partner (wife) live about 25 miles from the conference site, so we left our dog there for two days. When we came to pick up the dog, there was a present and some cheese and crackers on the table (I know you know where I am going with this). I said, are you expecting company and she said no, It is your mother's day present, we aren't doing anything for mother's day, so here is your present and some snacks instead, two weeks before mother's day. I just started crying, so by the time I ran out of the house crying we got into a full blow shutting match, which has never happened in 37 years, she followed me out to the car (why I don't know) and continued argueing, I was in the car and she was on the sidewalk, then her wife came out and said I heard you talking, are you going to get a lawyer and try to take their new baby away, are you kidding me, we weren't talking any such thing. They have a new 11 month baby girl and I have done everything to help with this new baby, cleaning, cooking, laundry, money and on and on. Pretty soon it dawns on me that they or my daughter don't want me to watch the baby. I good enough to clean toilets, etc. and not good enough to watch the baby so the arggument just got worse. I am healthly, I have a new marriage, I have 3 homes and I just finishing designing and building a new home from the ground up. We travel, to Europe, Hawaii, Mexico, but I am too tired to watch the baby. I feel the same as you ladies, we have spoiled them so much and you would think at 37 she would know what I want. She has a master's degree and is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, but hasn't got a clue how to communicate with her mother. Sooo I guess ladies we just need to get together and have our own Mother's Day Party. I never forgot my mother and I just lost her last year, she was my friend, my sister, my soul mate and my mother, I would never think of missing her day. Happy Mother's Day, I love you all and you are all great mothers. Enjoy. |
| Thank God for your honesty. I am feeling so badly about my 4 kids in their early and lat 20's. I just sent my daughter and her husband on a $2000 trip and took care of their hyper children so they could get away. She sent a 3 word text: Happy Mother's Day. Lovely. The 3 SpongeBobs that live with me and have their significant others over ALL the time ignored the day. They celebrated with their partner's mom, their biological mom who they just met, etc.... I can't face those who ask how the day was. My kids are alive, employed,good citizens. Thank you God. As for gratitude or acknowledgement- i can't bear the sadness. All your posts really help! |
So sad that some of these adult kids are like this..I will be 55 in 3 weeks and my mother died suddenly when I was 24. What I would give to of had a few more Mothers Days to spend with her. To tell her thank you for all she did for me and the sacrifices she made for me. I still think of her every day and count my lucky stars she and my dad adopted me when Iwas 6 months old and for the wonderful life they gave me.  So maybe some of you moms out there need to conveniently forget the upcoming birthdays and the presents that usually go with it..... It might do them good to see what it feels like.So to all of you moms out there, many hugs  and thanks for being a MOM 24/7 . |
| I'm with you! My son is always struggling with money but we did go out to lunch and it was very nice. Since he struggles financially and had other problems in his past his sister assumes he's just no good when actually he is much more thoughtful than she will ever be. His sister, who does not talk to her brother did not join us however, she said I "could" join her and her kids if I wanted. Really??? How nice of you. Where did she choose to go, the exact same place I went with her brother earlier. Yes she knew, but it was all about her. I brought her a gift and card because she is the mother of my two grandchildren and well, because that is who I am. I have helped her so much through the years and she would not be where she is today without my help including financially. She excepted her gift and said oh I didn't even get you a card. Just stab me in the heart why don't you. I don't really need gifts at this Point in my life but I would like to feel like I was wanted there and that just did not happen. Talk about being selfish!!! She takes the cake. I did not even eat, and they only had a couple of appetizers. We were going to leave there and go to another restaurant and have a real dinner but then she said her kids just rather go home. So I just came home because I couldn't put on a happy face any longer. I'm not sure where the breakdown came from because we use to be close. Oh yes, that's when I was always there with providing whatever she needed at the time. That even including a 20k divorce!! I really can't believe I'm even writing this, man what a rotten day to call Mother's Day. Why can't I just be with my two grown children and they act like adults and make me feel special just one day out of the entire year. |
| I have 3 grown sons, all of whom we have helped in one way or another. When they were little, I got breakfast in bed on Mother's Day. I never knew that that was all the Mother's Days I would have. Once they grew up, got married, they have forgotten me. It's funny, they don't forget their dad on Father's Day. I hate Mothers Day. I try not to have expectations so that I don't get hurt, but it hurts anyway. Every Mother's Day I get up, fix brunch for my mother, then turn around and fix dinner for my mother-in-law. I can't have them at the same time because my mil sucks all the happiness out of the room. I might hear from 2 of my sons or not. I never know. We live in the same town. My other son who lives an hour away, I never hear from. When I start seeing Mother's Day commercials, I get angry and depressed. I have a husband of 40 years who won't go to bat for me with his mother or our sons. I feel worthless, used and forgotten. |
| I drove in the teeming rain on May 14. When I got there my daughter said that she didn't have anything for me. And in one minute she asked me if I remembered the cash for her daughter's birthday. I cant forgive that. |
| My son and daughter in law, both doctors failed to mail even a card to me for Mothers Day. I received a 9 a.m, ph, call from my son....and a Facebook message from my daughter in law...who I acknowledge each Mothers day with a special card. They both have a lucrative practice and work less than 37 hrs a week......why would they not send a card?? I am a cancer survivor in my 70s don't u think they would realize life is short. |
| The longevity of this thread and the very sad stories herein just go to show how people can be so oblivious and self centered. Other people are just lazy, selfish asses. One person I know refuses to send thank you notes even after he is reminded again and again. People put forward enormous amount of energy and thousands of dollars planning an event specifically for him...not even a card. When told he needs to send a card he agrees, then doesn't. What does it take. |
| Ron, I can only ditto what you said. |
| So my kids are 22 (lives in an apartment and goes to university) and 18( lives at home, university is in September) . My 22 year old son has never really done much for mothers day, wishing me a happy one is about it. This year he made plans with his friends to hang out, when I reminded him 'its mothers day' he said he knew. My daughter and I went to the movies, I paid, and she bought me a card and 2 chocolate bars. Now, its fathers day (their dad and I are not together). Should my feelings be hurt that a) they are all going to an escape room together, b) going out for dinner, and c) my daughter got him balloons (she works in a party store). WHAT THE HECK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Guest wrote: So my kids are 22 (lives in an apartment and goes to university) and 18( lives at home, university is in September) . My 22 year old son has never really done much for mothers day, wishing me a happy one is about it. This year he made plans with his friends to hang out, when I reminded him 'its mothers day' he said he knew. My daughter and I went to the movies, I paid, and she bought me a card and 2 chocolate bars. Now, its fathers day (their dad and I are not together). Should my feelings be hurt that a) they are all going to an escape room together, b) going out for dinner, and c) my daughter got him balloons (she works in a party store). WHAT THE HECK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's sad... any advice I could give would be from a place of ignorance, but I just wanted you to know that I understand why you're hurt. Is there any way to just ask them that you "noticed a difference in the celebrations, did I hurt you guys somehow I didn't realize" or similar? Take care |
| Another Mother' Day in tears. Two grown boys that we are in close contact with all the time. Yet I am always forgotten on Mother's Day. It makes me feel like I've done something wrong. Was I/am I a terrible mother? Did I do something to deserve being forgotten? I don't want gifts ... a card would be lovely. Just being remembered/thought of would be nice. I don't ask for much of them. I never make demands. I don't let them know how much this hurts me. I wish Mother's Day would just go away. |
| Well, Here I am May, 2018 - not much change here since the first post regarding "Big let down on mother's day" Sorry Ginny, I know how you feel - I have given my sweat and more to my two kids and my mother's day was a bust. My daughter, 26 went to her half brother's graduation in Hawaii yet did send me flowers (lovely, really) - but my son Luke, 17 didn't even come out of his room until I got so upset and called his sister crying, who then, I'm sure called him. He later found his way to my room and gave me a half hug and kiss and told me, he had forgotten (no card, no teddy bear, nothing). I actually went ballistic... I did, and made it memorable. I don't get it. I think we inadvertently helped create these monsters.............I remain hopeful. Happy Mother's day to all. |
| I have a Son and a Daughter who are 39 and 35. My Son gave me a card then left for Hawaii with a 50 yrs old women. I received a Happy Mother's Day card from my Grand Daughter. They all left for camping. I come from another country and have no relatives at all in the States. I cried for not be able to see my children and Grand Daughter on Mother's Day. I do not know why it happens this way when i have raised 2 good children. They are educated people why they cannot think? |
| It breaks my heart to read these stories. |
| We must remember that there are "good" kids also. Now my middle child-37 yr old son has a place of his own(with engaged girlfriend and her 10 yr old girl) he realises what a role model us mums are/were to them and get card, choc and a pinapple from him(family joke the fruit bit). xx |
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