How do you make a will?
We have gaurdians in place for the kids, dogs, cats...but nothing in ink. Do you need to write how to gather the monies together, from work, rrsp, insurance, mortgage...etc or would the employer just hand over the papers and money to the kids gaurdians? We want most of the money to go into trust, but can we specify that they don't recieve the majority of the money until the a)go to college, or b) buy a home, or c)reach the age of 25. At legal age of 18, they can get a b-day spending check of something, but the rest must wait until mature enough to use wisely. Can we do that to them? We would also like the gaurdians to receive something for having their lives turned upside down with the immediate addition of 2 kids, and the work of putting us to rest etc...what do we call that? And how much is appropiate? Who makes a good, easy to understand will kit, that we can buy at Chapters or something? or is it better to go to a lawyer and work on one? |
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| It is better to go to a lawyer and have it done. Nag him to get it done. Heaven forbid something happens to the 2 of you tomorrow, the kids will end in foster care until everything is resolved. In writing, signed and sealed.
Protect yourself and the kids. |
| If you can afford to go to a lawyer, you will have peace of mind knowing that you have thought of all contingencies and that what you have set out is legal and workable.
In the US, if you don't have a will, each state has laws that determine who will be assigned the responsibility of probating your assets. That person is generally called an Administrator of the estate. If you don't have a will, the state laws will also specify who the money goes to -- it is usually childen in equal shares, but it can also include spouses, parents and/or siblings -- varies by state and by who you leave behind. I imagine something comparable exists in Canada. If you want it to go to someone other than your children or if you want to impose the restrictions on money to your children, you need a will. You also appoint someone to handle the asset gathering and delivery. That person is called an Executor. It is essentially the same function as Administrator but it is set by the will. Both the Administrator and Executor will obtain authority from the local probate court to gather your assets -- bank accounts, pensions, etc.; sell property (like your house, your car, etc.), pay bills, and allocate the remainder either as set by your will or by law if you don't have a will. Good luck! |
| Thanks, I made a huge issue of it when both kids were born...but since we've never vacationed or left them, we basically put it off.
Now, for the first time the kids are staying at my aunt and uncles, while we go to Banff for 3 days,,we will be away from them for 4 days. As I told my husband, a drunk driver can hit us, icy roads, accident's happen...I can't feel good about going until I know they are taken care of. Can our executor be the same person as the gaurdians of the kids? We have a great lawyer who handled our mortgage, but I don;t know if he handles wills. I'm gonna call him, maybe we can see him this week. |
| It can be the same but doesn't have to be. The qualities you want in an executor are organized, efficient, deadline-oriented, responsible, fair, etc. THere is some overlap with the qualities you might want in a guardian but the person you think would be best as guardian (because they are right age, loving, familiar, etc.) may or may not be a good executor. Just food for thought. . . |
| Here in Canada you can buy a Canadian Will Kit at most book stores, and they are legal. Usually about 20 dollars I think. |
| The person we picked for the kids gaurdians is my youngest uncle and his wife, he's older than me I think 41, she is about 39 I think. There 19 yr old daughter just married and she was 19-20 when she was born, and have a 17 yr old son, and a 4 yr old daughter.
They do well, and love my kids, we are close....my side of the family, but I know they will keep the kids in touch with hubby's side. I can't think of anyone better. As an executive, he was co-excutor with my dad for my grandfather, as well as my dad has picked him to be his. Hubby will look at chapters on his way home, but the last time we looked at a kit it was so overwhelming we threw it out. It was not the Canadian Will Kit, I don't remember what it was called. |
| Hi. You are best to get an attorney especially if you want a trust and so the government doesn't take all your taxes. I blieve a living will like you mentioned from the store can be overriden. My dad's does this type of legal work but he's in Illinois. Don't think he can help you. The attorney who does your mortage will likely know someone to refer you too.
You'd think since we can get a living will for no charge, my hubby would be inclined to work on it. Ha! I've been bugging him for about 3 years now. I'm determined that we will do it this summer if it kills me. No pun intended! |
| Hi,
I use to worry about this all the time when my kids were young. Now that they are older it's my pets I'm most concerned about in the event that something happens to me. I want a contingent in place as to their care. I remember once reading somewhere that you can't place stipulations regarding your childrens age when they recieve your money once they are over the age of adulthood. Makes me think of Bing Crosby whom stated none of the children from his previous marriage would get any money until late in their lives and 2 died before they could claim it. Not sure if a law like that still exist so if possible it would be better to get legal advice. For myself, I'm going to just pick one up at Chapters and have it notorized at the cost of 20 dollars, regarding my pets. For my children I should eventually have something in place regarding who is going to be the Executor which I've heard is a nightmare and the person chosen should know what they are getting into. I think in most cases a family member is not the best person but a lawyer should be the one to take on the job. I did this with my ex when I purchased the house from him. Wrote the letter myself with the stipulations and it cost a total of 20 dollars and no legal fees. Thinking back on it...even though I didn't think I had the cash I realize I should have gone for legal advice anyway. I waived my spousal support and my portion of his pension plus gave him monies in order to buy him out of his half of the family home at a discount. I thought I got a good deal..but years later I realized I wasn't as smart as I thought I was! Always best to get legal advice! Marianne and the boys |
| Years ago, my stepdad died on Sun., was buried. The following Sat. my mom had a heartattack and was rushed to the hospital. She died Sun. morning, seven days after he did.
Mom wrote out a make shift will in the back of the ambulance stating her last will for the kids and house. It was signed and witnessed by the ambulance team. It was upheld in court, but only after the adult children signed papers approving it. Not much, but better than nothing. So, until you have the legal papers drawn up, a quick substitute might be better than nothing. In this case with stepchildren: First spouse dies, living spouse inherits everything. When that parent dies, their children split the estate. The children of the first deceased parent have no legal rights to anything. Least thats how it was then, in our case. Don't necessarily agree with it, just pointing it out. |
| Jason went overseas for Operation Enduring Freedom, and they made us draw up a will before he left. We did it with the lawyers on the base. We needed it done anyway. We have our house that'll be paid for, vehicles that'll be paid for, a ton in life insurance ($1 mil each to make sure one parent can continue to stay home with them), the boys, investments, etc... that needed to go to someone trustworthy to make sure the boys would get it once they get older & mature enough to handle it. Of course, our most precious items on the list were the boys, and we wanted to make sure there wouldn't be a fight over who took them. I know without a doubt, both sets of our parents would want the boys (they're only in their 40s, early 50s) if something happened to both of us, so I didn't want to put the boys through seeing that after just losing us. |
| Just my opinion, but don't do a quicky and just jot down what your
wishes are - that may invite procrastination of doing it right with a lawyer. At least it would for me. Please, for your whole family's sake, be as specific as possible, as inclusive as possible and ask as many questions as possible of your lawyer. My mother died last month and so many things have come up since then that we have had to question. She did have a good will, and lawyer, but I think if she had known some of what we would go through she would have made changes. Think about what your survivors will have to do and deal with when you make out your will. Do Not Assume ANYTHING - it may not come to pass the way you would have wished. The lawyer may be expensive, but trust me your family will really appreciate the cost and effort you give it in the end. It is a very difficult time when someone you love dies, especially someone close like a parent. You can't make that part easier, but you can take away some of the work and worry of "what happens now". Good luck!! Shellie |
I work in the legal field, I kinda know what I am doing  and I know for certain that I would never rely on anyone but an attorney in an area where one may be needed.
I know attorney's can be calus and simply out for the money aspect, but you will find that in the areas of Will's and Probate, attorney's usally have yours and your family's interest at heart. To simply write out a quick note on your deathbed, while upholds in some Courts is not always the case. A quick stop into a firm, and there should be peace of mind! |
| Well fortunately for me and hubby our lawyer that handled both mortgages, is also a will and estate lawyer.
I was pretty sure he was since he notorised many times for me over my grandfathers will...I had a tiny inheritance. It was very special to be included with his children, but he was the one to raise me not my own parents. So in his eyes I was his daughter....or equal to. We made up a quick thing on paper, Rob said it was from the Canadian Will kit, but I still will have it to the lawyer. We are going on Thursday, if nothing else he will have a copy, and it will be notorised, legal and binding. My aunt and uncle will also take the dogs, cats...I certainly hope they don't get rid of them after we die...kids can't lose pets and parents in the same week. Anyways, they live on an acreage, and are awesome parents. I just wish we could hold some money back, so that the kids go to college...and not blow it all on a vacation, or a sports car. Rob agrees that when they turn 18 they get the money and get to do whatever they want, and we can only hope that they recieve guidence from their new gaurdians on what is important in life, and education is very important. It would be great if they at the very min learned a trade, and were able to get a good start after college....apt with furniture, a good car, and an education. Avoid a student loan if possible. Well it's finally getting done, and I feel better...even if I just see in ink, and witnessed....it has to be better than nothing. As an executor, my uncle has experience...so I hope it goes smoothly for them. Now for a more positive thought...our anniversary will be so much fun, and I am looking forward to some quiet time away from the kids, and going to the spa, hot springs, hiking, gondola ride and dinner on top of the mountain...peace at it's finest. Thanks everyone for helping me. Now here is t a long and healthy life for everyone, and may our children all be adults before we have to go. |
Daisie wrote: Well fortunately for me and hubby our lawyer that handled both mortgages, is also a will and estate lawyer.
I was pretty sure he was since he notorised many times for me over my grandfathers will...I had a tiny inheritance. It was very special to be included with his children, but he was the one to raise me not my own parents. So in his eyes I was his daughter....or equal to. We made up a quick thing on paper, Rob said it was from the Canadian Will kit, but I still will have it to the lawyer. We are going on Thursday, if nothing else he will have a copy, and it will be notorised, legal and binding. My aunt and uncle will also take the dogs, cats...I certainly hope they don't get rid of them after we die...kids can't lose pets and parents in the same week. Anyways, they live on an acreage, and are awesome parents. I just wish we could hold some money back, so that the kids go to college...and not blow it all on a vacation, or a sports car. Rob agrees that when they turn 18 they get the money and get to do whatever they want, and we can only hope that they recieve guidence from their new gaurdians on what is important in life, and education is very important. It would be great if they at the very min learned a trade, and were able to get a good start after college....apt with furniture, a good car, and an education. Avoid a student loan if possible. Well it's finally getting done, and I feel better...even if I just see in ink, and witnessed....it has to be better than nothing. As an executor, my uncle has experience...so I hope it goes smoothly for them. Now for a more positive thought...our anniversary will be so much fun, and I am looking forward to some quiet time away from the kids, and going to the spa, hot springs, hiking, gondola ride and dinner on top of the mountain...peace at it's finest. Thanks everyone for helping me. Now here is t a long and healthy life for everyone, and may our children all be adults before we have to go. You could do trusts if the kids are still minors. That's what we did with ours. If only one of us passes away, obviously the other spouse will get it. If we both do, the money goes into some type of account with both of our mothers as the trustees. They are allowed to withdrawl money for school expenses, clothing, medical, etc... for the boys, but other than that, it sits there until their 25th birthday (or earlier/later depending on whether our mothers think they are mature enough to handle it properly). They will get checks for each of their birthdays and Christmas from "us", a larger one on their 18th birthday, and we have agreed to let them take out to help with things like buying a car, mortgage, wedding expenses, etc... They will not know how much is in there, so hopefully, they won't be too extravagant with their purchases. I think our mothers will make sure they stay level-headed.  |
JakobandBrandonsmom wrote: You could do trusts if the kids are still minors. That's what we did with ours. If only one of us passes away, obviously the other spouse will get it. If we both do, the money goes into some type of account with both of our mothers as the trustees. They are allowed to withdrawl money for school expenses, clothing, medical, etc... for the boys, but other than that, it sits there until their 25th birthday (or earlier/later depending on whether our mothers think they are mature enough to handle it properly). They will get checks for each of their birthdays and Christmas from "us", a larger one on their 18th birthday, and we have agreed to let them take out to help with things like buying a car, mortgage, wedding expenses, etc... They will not know how much is in there, so hopefully, they won't be too extravagant with their purchases. I think our mothers will make sure they stay level-headed.
This is what I am looking for, a little for their 18th b-day, and the rest when they are mature enough to handle it, or for school education etc. Big ticket things where a gaurdian may not have that kind of money. I agree with someone watching over their best interests, and all that...but a tiny part of me worries that they may use to build a new house, buy a car...something that doesn't benefit my kids, but looks like it went to the kids....I have trust issues 
Does both moms have to agree on the amount being withdrawn? Can they abuse this privelge of gaurdianship and the trust funds? |
Daisie wrote: This is what I am looking for, a little for their 18th b-day, and the rest when they are mature enough to handle it, or for school education etc. Big ticket things where a gaurdian may not have that kind of money.
I agree with someone watching over their best interests, and all that...but a tiny part of me worries that they may use to build a new house, buy a car...something that doesn't benefit my kids, but looks like it went to the kids....I have trust issues Does both moms have to agree on the amount being withdrawn? Can they abuse this privelge of gaurdianship and the trust funds? That's the way ours is set up. Both of our mothers have to sign off on whatever money is taken out. Now, we're assuming both of our mothers will live until they are of legal age at least. Like I said, my mom is 44 and my MIL will turn 50 this year. We do need to come up with an alternate plan in case something does happen to one or both of them though. |
| Good News:
Talked to our lawyer, he said we can do what they call a solider will...similar to what was mentioned earlier. Anyways, to make it legal, it MUST be done in our own handwriting. Keep it simple, reg language (don't try to lawyer talk it), explain your wishes. Gaurdians of cildren, and executor. Sign it, and give it to exector, or lawyer, or saftey deposit box. That will do for a quickie fix, then come in after our trip and do a proper more indepth if we wish. As to legal age for the children to receive their trust, we set the age...it does not have to be 18...so I picked 21 or if they attend college/university they can have it earlier. I requested that Jake and Amy must stay together, they are deeply bonded cats. I would hope the family that takes the kids keeps the pets for the kids, if not to let them go to a no-kill shelter, then they will at least be loved by a foster home then adopted...we don't have an OES rescue contact here. I also took some time to write a letter to the kids incase I die, or we both die...something I can update later as well, but for this weekend I made it relevant to now. I was bawling my eyes trying to put to paper how I felt about them, probably the hardest thing I've ever had to face...saying goodbye... Anyways, it's done, I feel better about going....and I'll be back, have no doubt. |
Daisie wrote: .....we don't have an OES rescue contact here.....
I can assure you that you "DO" have an OES rescue contact. Just have them contact this forum for information. This is where I came when I was in need, and through this forum I was able to place 4 OES. I promise you, they WILL be here for you and your dogs!!!  |
| I'll mention it, to my family if they don't want to keep her. To visit the site. But for an actual contact for edmonton, I haven't found anyone. |
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