overwhelmed
    I think I had to much coffee today. |
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| I definitely know the feeling! |
| I haven't even started Christmas shopping, my husband comes home in 7 more days, we're leaving for Louisiana on the 17th, we're leaving there to go to Florida on the 27th, oh and my youngest son turns 3 on the 20th and I haven't even started planning his party yet. Yeah, I'm overwhelmed and have NO clue where to start!
Part of the problem with presents is that I have absolutely no idea what I want to buy my boys or even what they need. They have a ton of clothes and toys already. I'm usually finished way before now, but this year, I've picked up a Leap Frog plus writing and 2 books for it. That's all! I still have family to shop for too. I told hubby be prepared for a lot of shopping once he gets home...lol |
| You sound like me! Trying to do a million things all at once. And at the same time thinking of the other million things you want to still do.
What helped me was www.flylady.net Give it a look. At least my house is clean...even if the clutter is still in my brain! Since using the flylady method I dont want to start the clutter with more things for the kids for Christmas...I bought a few things they asked for (they are only allowed to ask Santa for 2 things) I did a lot of my shopping online and had stuff delivered straight to the recipient. (the cost of shipping would have been the same as gas to get to the store and then the cost to mail it out) Today I bought the last item on my list. (yes I make a list before I do the shopping...less impulse shopping that way) and when I get home from shopping the gifts are wrapped. Other than for my inlaws (which I told hubby it was his responsibility to buy their gift this year) I am DONE! |
| I told my hubby to buy for his mother this year too, and do you think he even has a clue? No.... I bet she'll get an apology this year! LOL |
| Trust me, you're not alone! Noone has given me any ideas of what they want so that means they'll get gift cards. Inlaws and husband's employees are his responsibility. That usually means he'll go out the day before Christmas or call my sister in-law to find out how much money she wants for whatever she purchased. I'm responsible for the coordination of EVERYTHING else! Steve did pull out the tree and decorations and that's it so far. He hurt his back over the weekend so that'll likely be it for him. I guess we'll puts lights on the house next year! I'm also still waiting for my portraits so I can put in an order for cards. Ugh! why do we do this to ourselves??? I have a cousin who tells everyone that she doesn't purchase gifts or want any. That way she can donate money to a good cause. I may need to touch base with her on this to figure out how she doesn't feel guilty when friends and family look at her funny and expect gifts. |
| I'm usually ultra-stressed at this time of the year, too. Our tree goes up the day after Thanksgiving so that I have that whole long week-end to get it and the rest of my house decorating done. Have to do that for my sanity, with working a 40 hour week.
Now that the kids are older and the things they want cost more, there's less for me to buy. Plus I do a LOT on the internet because I truly hate mall shopping. Our neices/nephews are all grown, so we don't give to them any more, and the same goes for my kids with their aunts/uncles. My parents are gone, and my in-laws are very senior and have everything they need (and then some) so we usually just get them tickets to a show at our local theater. This year it's the Glenn Miller Orchestra. They love it, and it's super easy for me! As for us, we've come to the conclusion that if we need/want anything during the year, we usually just buy it at that time so why make a big fuss at Christmas? We'll probably just get each other a little token something so we have something to open. And since we're expecting a major snowstorm overnight (and I've already warned everyone at work that if it really does materialize, I won't be here tomorrow!) I'll probably use that time to do my cards and maybe start baking. Wish me luck! Chris |
| Is that snow storm heading our way after it hits you, or before? LOL |
| The storm is heading out to sea after dumping 9" here in the western suburbs of Boston. Looks like you will be spared the brunt of it this time. |
ive got my first law school finals coming up  |
| I say do the stuff that's most important to you. The holidays aren't fun if you overwhelm yourself. For cookies do a cookie exchange, have your gifts wrapped at the mall(they all seem to have some group wrapping for a charity), Take the dogs for a walk to get some exercise, maybe hire someone to do a good cleaning. As for cards, I don't send them anymore (I just found stamped and signed cards from several years ago ) |
Lil Walty wrote: ive got my first law school finals coming up
Best of luck with finals! |
Overwhelmed!! Nah have not got enough hours in the day to think about that one!LOL Am sleeping permantly after christmas day, have ordered a huge "Do not disturb" sign which will be displayed till new years Wake me for New Year  |
Lil Walty wrote: ive got my first law school finals coming up Just note that Roe v. Wade was not a Supreme Court decision on how best to cross the Potomac... |
| I'm going to try to copy and paste a "Stress and the Holidays" Handout I gave my patients this month, I hope it doesn't take up too much space but maybe someone will find it helpful.
How to slow down, do less, lay back…and still enjoy Christmas. By Jean Grasso Fitzpatrick “Every Christmas I pressure myself more,” said one mother. “I can’t help thinking that if I were a good mother, I would make all the children’s toys myself, decorate the whole house, and bake cookies every day.” Another woman, who spends every Christmas with her husband’s clan, says, “My sister-in-law repeats the same mistake every year. She cooks up a storm, ties a red bow around every object in her house, and spends Christmas Day flat on her back with migraine headache.” Remembering what Christmas is all about…it has a nice ring to it, but is it really easy? Is it even possible anymore? During a holiday season heralded as a time for giving, how dare we slow down, do less, back off? Won’t the kids feel deprived? Won’t we feel guilty? In fact, the opposite is likely to happen. The more you simplify your holiday, the more you focus on sharing it with your children instead of on staging it for them. Don’t expect miracles, though. Unless you’re a new parent, you may already have fallen into patterns you repeat year after year, and real change will take time. The following suggestions will help you and your family to see the holidays in a new light and eventually to welcome them with a new, more relaxed embrace. 1. PUT YOURSELF IN THE KIDS’ SHOES Before you schedule any seasonal activities—ballets, choir performances, movies—pause and consider your plans from your child’s point of view. Ask yourself, is this activity one that my child is ready to enjoy? “Go back and remember your own childhood,” recommends Barbara Kuczen, Ph.D., author of Childhood Stress: How to Raise a Healthier, Happier Child (Dell). “You probably didn’t enjoy being dragged to adult events, and your child isn’t going to like them any more than you did.” Remember, too, that your child is likely to be caught up in a round of holiday activities at school, church, Scouts, or other groups. If she’s knee-deep in glue and construction paper in school, she may not want to do more than one holiday craft project at home. “If you’re worried about depriving your child of holiday fun,” says Hillary Bercovici, Ph.D., a pastoral psychotherapist and Episcopal parish priest at St. Mary’s Church of Scarborough, in New York, “keep in mind that you may be depriving her only of holiday burnout.” 2. REMEMBER: LESS IS MORE There may be a number of “must do” social events on your family’s calendar, but stop to consider at what point attending family gatherings and friends’ parties adds to the holiday spirit or to holiday stress overload. Also, try to space out the activities to avoid overscheduling. Most children thrive on the security of their daily patterns. Missed naps, overstimulation (such as noisy parties with too many strange faces), and delayed bedtimes can make even the most easygoing child churlish and uncooperative. To avoid this kind of overkill, plan as much as possible—right down to noting on your calendar the Christmas TV specials you’d like your child to see. Children can be fed, bathed, and in their pajamas before the show starts, and ready to doze the moment the set is turned off. 3. CALM YOURSELF “I have a limited capacity for giving—enough is enough!” says another mother with a grin. “To spend some time by myself, I put the kids in bed, turn on the phone answering machine so I won’t be interrupted, and sit in the family room, sipping some eggnog and just looking at the lights on the tree.” In yet another household, when the holiday decibel level gets too high, the parents call for “quiet time.” The family sit “on the living-room floor and breathe slowly and deeply for two or three minutes, either in total silence or with some soothing music on the stereo. This is not a form of punishment,” the mother explains, “but an opportunity to momentarily clear away some of our cares.” 4. FIND TIME TO BE ALONE TOGETHER If you’ve decided to forsake staging Christmas for the family in favor of sharing it with them, simplify your family life in other ways too. One family takes a walk together into the center of town the night of the first snowfall. They wander along the main street, hand in hand, feeling a sense of family and community spirit as they enjoy the decorations. “Ask yourself, Are my kids getting time to really relax, or is everything structured around celebrations?” suggests Sara Wilford, director of the Early Childhood Center at Sarah Lawrence College, in Bronxville, New York. Other parents involve their child in the easiest of holiday preparations. “In early December, we sit down together and decide on Christmas gifts for both sides of the family,” explains one mother. “For our annual potluck supper with friends, while I’m setting the table and my husband is fixing the salad, our son makes place cards with little drawings on them. When we string the lights on the bushes in the front yard, he comes outside with us and holds the box, and we all have hot chocolate afterward.” Comforting rituals such as these can be far more meaningful than an elaborate round of things to do, places to go, and people to see. 5. TAKE A BREAK FROM CHRISTMAS Do something with the family that has nothing to do with the holidays. Sharing a pizza with some close family friends, taking a backyard walk under the stars, or lounging in a circle around a favorite family board game may not be a Christmasy activity, but it is in keeping with the holiday spirit. Of course, quietly venturing beyond our own homes to the homes of others—visiting a hospital, taking toys to a shelter, notes Bercovici—can also imbue our children with the holiday spirit without saturating them with holiday stress. Holiday stress is never going to vanish completely. There will always be that string of tree lights that can’t be untangled, that one last present we forget to by, and that night we fall asleep on our feet at the supermarket checkout. But we can learn to accept these “failings” without getting caught up in the holiday frenzy and dragging the children into the fray. After all, many years ago, things didn’t go according to plan, either: There was no room at the inn for one young family and only a humble manger to spend the night in; yet somehow, miraculously, peace and joy reigned. Jean Grasso Fitzpatrick is the author of Something More: Nurturing Your Child’s Spiritual Growth (Viking). |
| We have taken the easy way out this year.
We did not put up a tree, because we will be in NJ for Christmas. No point having a tree here while we are not. Just means more Pine needles to clean up. I haven't even started my shopping. I have no idea what to get for the baby or my son.... Or hubby for that matter. Money is really tight for me right now. I am on disability and all the money we got back from refinancing our house is earmarked for home improvements.
I would just like to crawl in a hole until New Years. Someone wake me when it's over. lol I feel so useless. Oh well I am sure I'll come up with something. I don't have to buy too much for the kids because they will be getting from everyone in the family too. Also my son is going to spend Christmas with his Dad. We are actually flying back to California on Christmas Day. (My son is staying there a few more days and flying back by himself) Hubby, Hayley and I will be staying with my best friend, so we will have a tree. Oh yeah, now I have to buy presents for her and her son
OK I NEED HELP! |
| I'm with you Elisa, I could do without the entire period of time between Thanksgiving and New Years. Instead of a post on your "Best Holiday Memory" a post on your "Worst Holiday Nightmare" might be more appropriate. THis time of year is so filled with stress that for many it's really not a joy. |
Feeling a little less stressed today. I've come to the conclusion you can't lplease everyone.You guys have some great ideas. I love just sitting and looking at the tree and sipping hot chocolate. My husband and I took the dogs for a walk a few days ago in town and looked at all the Christmas lights which was very unstressful and fun.The shopping bit is what stresses me out. Tomorrow I'm going on a house tour in our town. You buy tickets and go look at other peoples beautiful houses they have decorated for the holidays. Sometimes I just feel disorganized and harried it's good to know I'm not the only one. I'm going to check out the flylady website and hopefully next year I'll be done with my shopping before December and just enjoying friends and family and the holiday.  |
| Oh yikes I feel overwhelmed too!
I've been teaching in the daytime and took on a second job teaching English in the evenings. It sounded good as it only was two hours in the evenings although I have to drive to the boys home. The three boys are 17 and 18 years old from Korea. They are exhausted from all the studying they do and never look forward to the night classes. I try to remain upbeat and even donned a Santa Hat the other night and sang Christmas Carols for them. In return I got blank faces.
Worse, we've had such horrible weather that the drive there nightly is taking it's tole on me...horrible black ice and fog on a lonely stretch of road. I also have spent way more time on the lessons plans than I originally thought so the boys would be interested, so the 2 hrs have really been 4-5 hours extra. Weekends are no better as for years I entertain children and families with magic shows and Christmas is the busiest time of the year. So while I attend numerous Christmas parties, I never go to my own being too exhausted or working. The entire month of December I haven't had one day off..not one! Thankfully school is out next Friday! Although I will still be teaching in the evenings I can have my days free but also took on the job of petsitting for a few people. Urg!! Why do I do this to myself?? My house is a disaster and all I want to do is have a day off and stay in bed. Cough cough...sniff..sniff...I am fighting a cold and keep repeating my mantra..can't get sick....can't get sick. Whew! Okay I'm finished rambling and must now go back to blowing up and making a gazillion reindeer balloon animals for the party at a hotel this afternoon. ...Can't get sick....can't get sick...Only one more week to go..only one more week until R and R. Marianne |
| POOR MARIANNE!!!!!!!!!! I hope that the week after Christmas you will let yourself COLLAPSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Boy am I humbled and done whining and complaining. |
WizardMerlin wrote: What helped me was www.flylady.net
Give it a look. At least my house is clean...even if the clutter is still in my brain! Kim - I'm a FlyLady convert too. For the rest of you - definitely check this out. It does help you get organized. Even though I don't follow her schedule to the letter, I try to follow the concept. Plus you have to take the "glass half full" approach - if there are 20 things on your list and you get 2 of them done today, congratulate yourself on the accomplishment instead of beating yourself up over the remaining 18. And remember - Christmas is not about who has the fanciest decorations or the cleanest house or the best wrapped gifts. It's about the times you share with family and friends. When I lived in Chicago I lived in a small apartment but I would always have a holiday party. And it always amazed me that people who lived in bigger, fancier houses would want to crowd into my little place for a party. But they came because it was fun - even if they were eating appetizers from the frozen food section and drinking out of plastic cups. So, enjoy your loved ones and have a wonderful Christmas season! They won't mind if you're not perfect - in fact, they already know you're not and love you anyway |
| Excellent point... I haven't been to flylady for quite some time, maybe it's time fo another visit!
I simply don't have time to follow the routine part of it, but the attitude is well worth picking up! There just are NOT enough hours in the day.... between me working 6 days a week, the kids, dogs, hubby working almost 24/7, trying to get the house clean for company that always stop by unexpectedly at this time of year, getting shopping, decorating, wrapping etc done uughhh...!!! However, if I just let it go, even for a moment, it helps me move on to the next moment |
| This year we have really simplified things. We had packed up almost 1/2 the house before listing to sell. The things are still in storage...that includes over 90% of the Christmas decorations. I had one bin of decorations that I had forgotten to put into storage(and it's a good thing too!) and a small fake tree. Every year we get this HUGE real tree that has to be strung with lights etc...we usually put up 2 real trees inside, 2 fake trees inside and a real tree outside on the porch.
This year we gave the kids a choice. We use the fake tree (that the lights are already strung) or we go and get a real tree. The kids chose the fake tree. We had it all put up and decorated in under an hour and then spent the afternoon admiring the job the kids did with it. Avalon keeps licking the decorations and occasionally steals one...I am sure glad we didnt get a real tree! Her and Faith would be eating the branches! LOL Next weekend we are going to bake cookies. Instead of the usual fuss and bother...we all agreed on one recipe and we will make a few batches for the kids to cut out and decorate. Good enough is GOOD ENOUGH! I try and remember that I am creating memories for my kids....not perfection. |
| That's a great list for the holidays Tasker's Mom!
((((big hug for everyone this Monday morning))) |
| I reluctantly gave up real trees when I moved to Arizona and I have to tell you, buying pre-lit fake trees was the BEST thing I've ever done. We waited until the day after Christmas sale last year and picked one up at a big discount. It was up in 10 minutes. No detangling lights on the way up or the way down. In fact, it makes life so easy that Tim is thinking about buying another little one just for his Star Trek ornaments. (If there are any other scince fiction geeks out there, I'm sure you'll agree with us that Star Trek ornaments are worthy of their own tree ) |
That's would be neat to see, please take pics if you do set up a star trek tree  |
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