Abby... foster or keep?
I knew they were calling, didn't answer the phone, and have not called back after listening to the message. I've had her since August 17th, so almost 4 months now.... I know it is best to let her go to a good family, but I'm realizing it is going to be harder than I thought. I'm not sure what to do! LOL The only thing preventing me from keeping her is that I know I am going to be getting a male oes puppy this year, as well as keeping a puppy out of Dancer's litter in spring. So we will then have 4 dogs, if I keep Abby 5. That's a lot of dogs. LOL Plus I will be so busy grooming and showing 2 or 3 of my oes, I just don't know if I'll have time to give Abby the attention and exercise she needs. I had never intended on keeping her... but now I am having such a hard time letting her go.... I'm just not sure what to do.... |
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| Aww, Stac....You know what to do....it's hard, but you can do it...5 dogs, cats and kids seems like a lot...just think, you have the opportunity to make someone really happy. How many people can say that? |
| Ok, I called him back. He is an older gentleman, he and his wife are retired, have a huge home in the country with a large area totally fenced in. He has had huskies or husky mixes all his life, and his last one passed away at 14 years old 2 years ago.
He understands the situation, and asked lots of questions about Abby herself, her temperment and personality, and also what SHE likes, which impressed me. He is going to meet me at work tomorrow mornign so I can meet him first and ask more questions, and he can ask me more questions. I told him I would like him to think about it over the weekend, meet her on Sunday, and then if he still wants her he can take her Monday night.... *sniff sniff* |
Poor Stacey! You'll be down to under 40 paws in the house 
But seriously, I feel for you... I know how much you love her. |
| Just think how spoiled she might be being the only dog...esp if she gets to live in the house....maybe they would like to buy a futon for her....I know how fond she is of her spot. |
| Awww, that must be so hard. But you have been so lucky to share with her one of the more miraculous periods in her life. What wonderful memories! He sounds like a very promising choice for your special sweetie. I hope the meeting goes well! |
| Hi Stacey,
Oh groaners! What a difficult choice for you! I can truly relate as I specifically remember talking myself into giving up some fosters by telling myself the very same thing at the time. "Well, I only want two of each", is what I said..and gave some up to loving homes. (This happened 3 times). Each time I truly regretted my decision but that only came later in retrospect where I realized I could have kept them afterall. The fact they all went to loving homes didn't play into my guilty mindset and even years later I kept in touch, reminding them ..should they ever change their minds I would gladly accept them back. Yup, the guilt is a very powerful thing..our emotions overtake the logical choice. Circumstances too, play a part. I also remember saying I was going to one day have one of Merlin's daughters..but ended up with Panda and decided to get Merlin neutered. I kept Lil Girl but let Lil Boy be adopted ..so tough as I had fostered these newborn kittens when they were motherless and only hours old. Their survival was so dependent on my feeding them every two hours...and to even give them up was heart wrenching. "I just can't have four cats",....then Mama Kat was deemed unadoptable and ordered put down down..and I said I'd keep her. She deserved a loving home and had played such an important role in keeping the newborns alive even tho they weren't hers. I hadn't even given the babies proper names..so not to get attached to them. Didn't work..lol Lil Girl is still Lil Girl. A very wonderful person asked to adopt the Lil Boy and so it came to the choice of letting him go in order to keep Mama Kat. Sometimes I think about the ones I could have kept as my numbers kept increasing..then again logically I also know I wouldn't have had the room to take on the future ones that needed homes or in your case..it's your dream and future goal. Yuppers..choices..choices..very difficult. I think you know deep in your heart the best thing for Abby and no matter what you do ..we will all support your decision. If a horrible man called and asked about her..you would have just said "Nope..I'm keeping her!" The fact that this man sounds very caring and compassionate and can provide her with a good home makes the choice more difficult. Meet with him and put your mind at ease..you'll know in your heart and mind (emotion is always harder to deal with) what the best choice for Abby is. You can always leave the door open should something happen within their family. Hugs to you Stacey. Marianne and the boys |
| Most of the foster homes we sign up fail at Fostering 101 by keeping the dog. We almost did a couple of times, but then after meeting the potential new family we would realize that we were being selfish.
I am always telling our foster homes that they are great homes for a dog, but another home might be better for that particular dog. It is fine to "collect" dogs, but if you are planning on putting a lot of time and effort into showing etc as you have outlined then something is going to suffer. There is just not enough hours in the day. I vote to let her go and start her new life, where she can be the Queen Bee, and not have to compete with all those OES's. But then I have done it many, many times. One of the dogs we were going to keep ending up going to live in a convent, with 100 nuns. And we can visit her anytime we want to. Her name is now Sister Diamond. Just think of what is in the dog's best interest, and you will always do the right thing. Oh, I just remembered something......Bosley was supposed to be a foster dog  |
How big is your house? 
If you have the time and money to support and love 5 dogs along with your kids and husband, I say go for it! I'd have 5 myself if I could but I also do't have kids to worry about! She'll have a good home either way but you know her best and what situation she'll thrive the most in. Just keep that in mind when you make the decision. Good luck! |
| (((HUGS))) I know it's not going to be an easy decision, but Abby will be spoiled rotten being an only dog. I can't imagine how much stress the dogs, kids, cats, working, showing, etc... would be on you. I can't foster for this reason, I get sooo attached! I admire people who can. |
| Hi Stacey,
I have been where you are, and I feel so sad for you. I know it must be such a difficult desicion. You have looked at both sides now, the fact that you are going to be busy, but also the fact that you have bonded with her, as I would assume the rest of the family has. What about Abby? Has she liked having a large human family, or is she more a one person dog? Did she adjust to having Sky and Dancer as siblings, and Winston and Church? Would she rather have a larger area to run, or does she seem happy being a futon pup? LOL You have wanted a sibe for so long, but I also know you were excited about the Allegra dogs as well. You also have to wonder what will happen to the balance of the house if you allow it to have under 40 paws.....LOL, that sounds like bad karma. Was Durc born, or will they wait to see how he develops over a certain amount of months before you know whether he will be "the one"? Big hugs from all of us!! CJ said "ya know you want to keep her"!  |
| Yes I am definitely attached to her.... she would be happy to stay here I think, but she is a husky, so I think lots of room to run would be great for her too. She has adapted just fine to other fur-siblings, and two leggeds, but she would probably relish having the attention of one or two people all to herself too.
I have wanted a sibe, but I can't have everything...lol... and if I want to accomplish my goals for my oes, I can't fill up my house with fosters that don't go. LOL In regards to Durc, I talked to his breeder the other day and she said momma dog, Bunny, was due any day now. I am eager to find out how many pups she has, and how many boys, but we won't know for quite some time if there is a boy for me in the litter. There are measurements that can be done at 24 hours old and again at 8 weeks, along with this very experienced breeders' eye for a show pup, but you just never know. There are things that won't be known for sure til much later, such as making sure the testicles decsend, and lastly, the bite. A pups bite can't be known until the adult teeth are in, between 4 and 6 months usually. I most likely won't get him home until a minimum of 16 weeks old.  |
| No real advice here, as it seems you really have measured out all the pros & cons of both sides. Just (((hugs))) because I know very well how hard it is to give up the foster dogs.
You'll do the right thing.  |
Willowsprite wrote: In regards to Durc, I talked to his breeder the other day and she said momma dog, Bunny, was due any day now.
Bunny! It is not just me that wanted to name an OES bunny! |
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