And still more ponderisms
Chris 1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film. 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. 4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse? 6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. 7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. 8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it. 9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.. 10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. 11. He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged. 12. She's always late, in fact, her ancestors arrived on the June Flower. 13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. 14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges. 15. Honk if you love peace and quiet. 16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading. 17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular? 18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living. 20. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. 21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. 22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. 23. You can't have everything! Where would you put it? 24. The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population. 25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first. 27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 28. FLASHLIGHT: A case for holding dead batteries. 29. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture. 30. A FINE is a tax for doing wrong. A TAX is a fine for doing well. 31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats. 32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens. 33. I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few. 34. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. |
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| Chris,
I loved 10! Here's some other (silly) things to think about... Michelle ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Am I ambivolent? Well, yes and no. I don't have a license to kill, but I do have a learner's permit. They call is PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes. Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you. A fool and his money can throw a great party. If you think there is good in everybody then you obviously haven't met everybody. If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down. Taxation WITH representation ain't much fun either. Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career. Gun control: use both hands. Remember: first you pillage, THEN you burn. To err is human. To forgive is against company policy. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success. Half the people in the world are below average. Failure is not an option. It's bundled with your software. A picture many be worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times more memory. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Ham and Eggs...Just a day's work for a chicken, but a lifetime commitment for a pig. |
| Michelle,
They're great! I love stuff like this. Chris |
| First pillage then burn. AHA HAHA HAHAHAHAHAH
The cops also liked the gun control one. |
| Love them all!!
I really liked this one though Quote: 20. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
That definitely got a smile out of me. I needed it. Thanks Elissa |
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