Some more ponderisms
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right." Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it? And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving! And my FAVORITE...... The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you. |
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| Hmm, why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? that's a good question.
I loved Brendan Frasier (sp) in George of the Jungle. /wiping drool from keyboard ..yummy |
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| The last one made me think...hhhuuuummmm...... |
| WAIT A SECOND! Am I the fourth person to answer this?
MUhahahahaha |
| Oh Ron....You are the fourth......Now I dont have to wonder any longer about you......... |
| Yeah, but there is a personality disorder for everything so for me, that's easy to believe. There are personality disorders that they say 80% of women have too. I believe it was histrionic (sp) personality disorder or something. Bringing back the psychology class here. haha |
| Very good, Elissa!
Chris |
Joahaeyo wrote: I loved Brendan Frasier (sp) in George of the Jungle. /wiping drool from keyboard ..yummy
Me too 
Thanks Chris but I can't take credit for it. It was e-mailed to me today, just thought you would all enjoy it
Elissa |
| I'm late catching up! These were funny!! |
| why are there locks on the doors of 24 hour shops?
if teflon is non stick, how did they stick to the pan? some insights from my hubby lol |
| Why are there directions with one-a-day vitamins?
Why is it that when you don't know how to spell something you're told to look it up in the dictionary? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? |
Well Mandy and Ron- this proves it! If I count you and Ron as two of my 7 friends, then I never have to worry that I am the one! 
Teehee! Shellie |
| DOH!! |
I know I'm obsessive compulsive, so my 3 best friends can sleep well at night knowing they're safe.  But the bright side of that is that I always know where everything is, except when one of my guys is here!
Funny thing too. Attending this training class with Bailey has made me realize that I'm too predictable. Bailey wasn't trained to obey commands, he just knew what we were going to do and anticipated my commands. He knows that he has to sit for certain things - to put his leash on, to go out the door, when we get to corners. But if I say "sit" out of context, he doesn't necessarily respond. So now I'm learning to train him differently so he reacts to the command, not the context. Very interesting! |
| This was great! Thanks! |
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