friends vs. my OES doggies
 Hello to all fellow lovers of OES, I write with a troubled heart and mind. Over the weekend my hubby and I visited my long time best friend and her husband. We took our beloved OES ( 4 y.o. female= Patch and 7 mos. old male= Griffon). Our dogs created tension many times over the weekend. Patch has a problem with urinating while sleeping or relaxed ( doesn't occur very often). Patch takes Proin (which we unfortunately forgot). The 1st night of our visit Patch p-p'd on our friends sofa.  This became a real issue with my best friends hubby and created an un-due amount of tension. Of couse my hubby and I apoligized- it's embarassing. Griffon added further tension. He is an exuberant 60 lb. guy. Too cute and funny. Has a habit of the jump/greet/lick your face. Plus he LOVES food --of any kind. All of this annoys the heck out of best friends hubby !  We are working with Griffon on his jumping. He also stays in almost constant motion. He is sensitive to the moods/receptivitiy of others. Bless him.Needless to say.... the weekend did not go well. My hubby and I both were lectured numerous times about our dogs. I assured these long time friends ( my best gal friend) that in the future our OES will not accompany us when we visit. My best friend seemed hurt (she secretly loves our OES). Ohhhhh and best friend appeared to be the messenger for her hubby? Argghhhh I am sooooooo aggravated, mad, sad. We are long time OES dog lovers and these folks know this. This couple has an older Dachshund ... who is perfect  I almost feel that I have to choose between my OES and my best friend ? Solution? I don't know.... I can't put diapers on Patch and I won't "break the spirit" of Griffon. I feel that the hubby is the problem person ( has a controlling personality). Since it's the holiday season... I am saddened by this whole turn of events. Am wondering if any of you have had similar experiences and how you may have handled it ? Thanks for listening. HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all  |
|
|
| My brother lives a couple of hours away from us, in London. The environment couldn't be more different from the freedom which Woof is able to enjoy in the country. My brother and his wife have a rescue dog - a lovely lurcher named ben - he's very quiet and inactive in the main (not least as he's an older dog) - the complete opposite of our OES Woof, who's a 12 month old furry tornado!
In short, yes, I fully understand and sympathise with your position. My advisc however is the ball seems firmly in your court. Nutty and lovable as our sheepies can be, we need to realise not everyone in the world is going to find behaviours like jumping up acceptable! Griffon is in someone else's terretory and needs to be trained to behave (IMO). We have to keep Woof on his lead when we visit my brother (at least whilst he's inside the house) - he doesn't really mind and will settle down at our feet - otherwise he's either into everything he can get his paws on, or constantly nagging Ben saying "let's play!" - best of Luck! |
 Thank you for sharing !
djb |
| Ohhh I feel for you. I have learned many times over the years and always seem suprised that people don't feel the same way about animals the way that I do. It's a sad fact however, that if you visit someone in their home you have to adjust by their rules and vice versa when they are in your home.
Seems that this man who appears not a mega animal lover may have felt the dogs invaded his territory so to speak. Unfortunatley it's his home and you can't change the way he feels. Your friendship with your friend will continue to thrive although this certainly puts a glitch on things. Could you start inviting them to your home? Is that feasible? Good luck with everything, you have my sympathies. |
Hi Marianne, Thanks for your thoughts on the subject ! Geez- when I think of it... I suppose this could be a more "one-sided" friendship than I care to admit to. These folks rarely come down our way. Their lives are pretty helter-skelter.... so being the care-taker that I am.... I go North to their home ( 2 hrs. away).
I guess what I reallly  have to do is not give-in to taking my doggies...even when my best friend says "please bring them". So many house rules... now I have learned what The Reality Is when I visit with OES .... don't want to go down that road again.
I think that you "hit" on a major issue with the hubby... his home is HIS territory. He tends to make that clear quite often ( verbally and non-verbally). Respectfully and Humbly, Bumblepatch ... in rainy mild North Carolina ... with a cold front-a-coming
djb |
Personally i would rather have the company of the dogs, than have to spend time in that mans presence. He sounds like a right knob 
On a serious side, it sounds like your friend needs to have a serious word with her other half to get there problems sorted before your wild ones arrive
I have problems with my sister in laws kids  and i watch them like a hawk when they are here..... But my dog has the run of the house |
Wa-hooooooooooooo Bullshot..... that's what I'm screamin !
Thanks for your perspective.  What does "a right knob" mean
Gotta check on Griff-baby....new Christmas decorations are out
....Bumblepatch djb |
| Ummm how to describe *right knob*.....errr.
A pratt, a Jerk, i guess you will get the drift |
|
Thanks Bullshot for the definition.... I like the phrase "a right knob"... funny ! Oh- and interestingly enough... there has been no further word/contact from friends since our visit last weekend.  I have worked hard at "backing off/detaching" ( from contacting best friend) ... talking with you guys (www.oes.org) has been a big help this week It seems my personality/temperment is much like my two OES ! ...sensitive, too friendly and gregarious.... "velcro" mentality.
Anyhooooooooooooo I sincerely appreciate ALL the feed back. You guys are a God-Send
Sincerely Bumblepatch...aka djb...aka Griffon's Mom |
| I feel your pain. I too have had similar problems with my dog when I visit family due to her size and hyper personality. However, Daffy is very well behaved when she is permitted to visit with family & friends.
As for your friends, they don't seem like very nice people. However, your best friend's actions seem to be motivated by her husband's presence. I find it funny that your friends have a dog, most dog-lovers would be far more understanding ofyour dogs' actios and would not have made your visit so upsetting. If I were you I would never bring your dogs back to there house, because it is sure to be an unpleasent experience for all especially your dogs. I would also be honest with your best friend about your concerns, if you are not than it is bound to effect your relationship in the future. Also, advice your friend of the steps you are taking to correct the behavioral issues that promoted the trouble between you and your friends. If your friend reacts to your concerns in a negative manner, perhaps she is not such a good friend after all. However, at times we must accept that not everyone is as accepting and loving of our furry friends. I hope my advice is helpful to you and your furry friends, please give them a hug for me! |
| My Abbi has gone the world over with us and we have learned to expect people to not tolerate her antics much. But it is so much better to take her than kennel her (most times) that we just take her travel carrier with us (broken down on the roof or in the back) and she is confined to quarters when tempers rise too much and let her out when no one is looking. After a few hours, most of our relatives have to admit that Abbi is better behaved then my 8 year old and they let her go free. Only exception was when Abbi treed my dad's cat. I could not leave him alone with Abbi for fear of further retribution that trip. But he never complains when he visits our house.
Then my older sister brought her two dogs. Her little lap mutt kept growling at Abbi and sis kept saying, "Just put Abbi in the back yard!" And I said, "Just drop that mutt out back before he bites one of us." I had actually confined Abbi to her kennel when sister lets said mutt down. Mutt immediately whizzed on Abbi's kennel and my couch, so I let Abbi out to do her sniffing thing, and mutt went whimpering to my older sister like he was mortally injured. Older sis never told me she was bringing two dogs either (and had no carrier, leash or anything in which to restrain the little beast). She just said she was bringing her birds, which she did. She had 12 finches and left 3 for me because she just knew I wanted them? Well, we all love the finches, even Abbi, so I won't complain. But it is certainly strange what other people expect you to accept versus what they are willing to accept themselves. As far as an animal lover loving other people's animal, well that's sort of like expecting all parents to love each others kids. I have 5 brothers and 2 sisters; most of whom have children. And we do not all like each others children any more than we like all of each's pets. We all have our own preferences. And we all seem to compete with whoms pets or children are the best. Strange when you think about it, but I don't mind three of my eldest sister's five dogs. I love her cockatiels, but dislike her parrots. The finches are a routy but interesting bunch. I guess its different strokes for different folks. We find our best get togethers are when the time is limited and there's lots of room, preferably in a neutral meeting place -- like a park. Happy Holidays! |
| Hello all
Thanks so much for all the posts. It has been very helpful in "processing" the whole experience. Am so glad to hear how much everyone LOVES their OES as I sometimes think I must be a nut-case to have two of these wonderful animals I really appreciate all the shares about your dilemmas with dogs & friends/family.
This past week, I responded to my best friends 2nd email request for my thoughts on the doggies. In my response I believe I made it clear to her that my OES ( x 2) will not be part of the equation in future visits. I admitted that I know these guys are BIG and a LOT of dog and seemed to bring-on a lot of tension when we visit.... and who needs the extra stress. I also stated that "I totally got" what her hsuband was saying ( geez... I'd have to be blonder, more meno-pausal NOT to get it !).
Best friend responded with a long note about " her week" and included 2 short sentences regarding doggies " Thanks for sharing about the doggies. I appreciate your words". arghhhhhhhh So .... I think I'll back off for a spell as...... her statements were rather irritating. I know I'm awfully "touchy" about these big furry babies. Am glad to hear that you guys are too !
Thanks---- Patch and Griffon's Mom |
| How about sending her an email with a link to this thread....
Maybe she'll be more understanding of how much your dogs mean to you. She will also learn how her apparent lack of understanding of this has caused a strain for you. She also might be offended. On the other hand, I can sympathize with hubby about the carpets... your post seemed as cavalier about that damage as her note seemed to you to be so cavalier about "the doggies". Maybe they felt you weren't contrite enough? Soooo, maybe you're right, and if you can "suck it up" and be willing to leave your OES kids at home when you visit, and not to feel put upon because you had to leave them behind the whole time you're visiting, and not let your discomfort show to them.... then you can continue to have a "great" relationship with them. Having to be so conciliatory each and every time I went there would be difficult, but that's just my problem, I suppose... Long time best friends ought to be able to be honest with each other, shouldn't they? -Ron, whose bluntness has caused an occasional issue....  |
| You may be blunt, but I love this site! I like the fact that we can go way off-topic and you don't mind.
Wish we could start a topic about college kids telling you that and and .... then we could give them a link to the thread and have a fantastic family fight probably. I am not sure how honest any of us need be in this virtual age. Maybe, just for diplomacy and keeping an open mind, a few compromises couldn't hurt. I do not expect everyone to love my sheepie or my children, but I wish they would. Funny thing is, I have met several people who love sheepies but seem to think children are their worst enemies? Rescue people must see a lot of poor parenting, but that doesn't mean my kids would hurt my Abbi or any other dog. My children get upset because Abbi doesn't respect them as much as me, but they seem to also get upset at each other for the same reasons. Am I off-topic or what? I wouldn't e-mail a link to this thread to even a good ole friend. We have been venting way too much! |
| I agree with Bullshot: your sheepie is going to be thousands of times more loyal and loving than any "right knob" (hee hee)
Or maybe I'm just anti-social. Oh well. I know on which side my bread is buttered
Peace, --jt-- |
| Hi,
OH HOW I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL!!!!!!! My husband and I just spent one of the most miserable weeks of our life due to visitor's in our home who did not like our Bam-Bam. He tried so hard to be a friend to these people who did not deserve his big friendly heart in anyway. By the time they had stayed for free, ate our food, and mistreated our dog I was ready to take Bam-Bam and run away. When we go to their house we do not take him to avoid him having his feelings hurt. We have decided if they ever invite themselves to our home again, they will be told politely we are not going to be available for company. (This is my husbands Aunt and Uncle and their toy poodle who is allowed to get by with bloody murder) So I guess that just about says it, a dogs love is unconditional something that some humans never quite get the hang of. Give me the dogs anyday!!! |
| Weeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllll Doggies !!!
I say "touche`" my friend ! Nothing says loving like an OES ! Friends... they come and go. Quote: You can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family.
Griffon and Patch's Mom |
| BamBams mum, just feed the toy poodle to your OES ... problem solved ...hehe
Hey Ron, being blunt has its good points you know. I have found it either wins me friends or losses them, but i never care which way it goes. |
Didn't find exactly what you're looking for? Search again here:
Custom Search
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|