The Bridge is Around the Corner
Three weeks ago we ended up at an animal ophalmologist who did a "diamond keratectomy" (debriding the dead tissue) followed by more drops and ointments and two weeks of wearing a hated elizabethan collar. Didn't work. Last week he had a second debriding. This time they took some blood to centrifuge into serum to aid healing. But they found out his blood cells are all broken down and it wouldn't separate. Happens with old dogs apparently, but maybe it is just another indication that he is not able to heal very well any more. The vet drew some blood from her own dog and made some serum for Charlie. I thought that was awfully kind and maybe it will help this time. But poor Charlie is back in the collar this week and next, his eye all goopy from all of the drops and ointments as it has been continuously for the past few months, and we are waiting to see the vet next week to see if the ulcer is healing this time. I am not optimistic. He's 13 after all— the longest I have had a sheepdog live out of the 13 I have had over the years. There is no other treatment to try. His eye is painful and he can't go on much longer taking tramadol and banging around in that collar. This is his last chance. I know what comes next. I dread it. I can see it right in front of us. That rainbow bridge. I've been here before many times with my big furry friends. I hate this place. |
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| My heart is breaking for you. It's so difficult when everything starts falling apart, and they can't recover. For Oscar, it was advanced degenerative neuropathy, on top of a drug-resistant infection, which was only getting worse when treated with the correct antibiotic. But the diagnosis of pancreatitis on top of the other issues was the thing I could no longer see a way forward from. Pancreatitis is incredibly painful, and the neuropathy was forcing us to lift our 115 lb boy with a harness, constantly putting pressure on his abdomen. Just awful.  Couldn't put him through it anymore. Even if we had managed to get him through the pancreatic stuff (long shot), the other two issues were only getting worse.Like you, we did everything we could for our boy, but I did not want him to end his life in terrible pain. So we let him go.  Laurie |
| So hard to read. I fear Bricky is getting closer to the bridge, too. I'm pretty sure not in the near future but who knows what the next 6-12 months will bring. I guess we need to enjoy and embrace every day they are with us. |
| Ricuard, I am so sorry you're going through this. I undersrand. We understand. |
| Richard~ My heart is hurting for what you are facing. I, as well as almost all of the forum members, have had to make "that decision" for their beloved furbabies (cuz, face it...It doesn't matter how many children you have...it doesn't matter how old your canine partner is..they will always be your furbabies.) The worst year for me was 2014 when we had to help our 6 year old Heart  who was fighting a losing battle with lymphoma, to the bridge. The most awful thing about helping them end their earthly journey is that ALL Old English Sheepdogs never lose that spark, that young spirit, even when they are very sick OR very old~~and they rarely leave on their own because, I would like to think, they really don't want to leave us because that would make us sad and, since they are the clowns of the dog world~~well, you know the rest. The second worst year for me was 2012, when, one day I looked at my 14-15 yr. old rescue, Pearl, and saw the sadness in her eyes. She was so tired and broken, I knew she was asking me to help her to cross that last bridge. 3 months later I lost my Beardie rescue, Coz, due to behavior issues that we could never fix that worsened as he aged. So, Richard...When I say that I have walked in your shoes, as many here, I do know how sad you are knowing the end is near. I feel we have to pay a price for having these wonderful Godlike creatures in our lives for a very short time. They seem to give and give, wanting to please, looking for that loving pet or kiss...and this is the cost. There is one quote that has helped me deal with the pain and loss of one of my cherished puppies.... ""Dogs come into our lives to teach us about love. They depart to teach us about loss. A new dog never replaces an old dog, it merely expands the heart. If you have loved many dogs your heart is very big.""" Reading this comforts me. It is so on point with what a dogs purpose is. I hope reading the responses to your post here, helps you. We do know your pain and we are all here to support you and give you a virtual hug whenever you need one. |
| Richard, I am sorry to hear this. Please know I am thinking of you during this difficult time. |
| Thanks so much to all, especially since I know that each and every one of you who have written are the true veterans and supporters of this site for so long. It is indeed a difficult time for Charlie and me right now— but it's comforting to know someone understands what its like to face this time. Right now, we are waiting to see the ophthalmologist next Wednesday. I have been religious in keeping his collar on day and night and following all of her instructions to the letter. I stopped the Tramadol and he seems to not be in much discomfort right now, which is good. But I am constantly looking to see if he is squinting less or for some other sign that his eye is finally healing, but the truth is… I just can't tell. Maybe this time there will be a little miracle and and Charlie and I can have a little more time together. We'll see… |
| Although I was hopeful, I was never optimistic that Charlie's eye would show any improvement after the fourth and final attempt at debriding the dead tissue around the corneal ulcer on his left eye that has persisted for months as a weeping and painful reminder that 13 is awfully old for a sheepdog. Yet, somehow, that is what happened at our final vet's visit yesterday. Even the veterinary ophthalmologist seemed surprised. I asked her if there was any sign of healing this time and she looked up from the UV scope she had been examining his eye with and said, "A lot!" The ulcer had been reduced to a small spot. Maybe it was the fresh serum that is supposed to aid healing, donated by the vet's own young dog when Charlie's damaged blood failed to separate in the centrifuge. Or maybe there was some divine, last minute intervention for my old companion of the past 12 years… Whatever it was, we will have a little more time together it seems. The hated collar is off and both dogs were rewarded with half a tin of sardines, Charlie's favorite food, in their afternoon meal yesterday when Charlie and I got home. As always, he made sure Toby, his younger and less deserving brother, did not get the larger portion when he shouldered him away from his bowl with a senior dog grumble at the end of their meal to see if Toby had left any scraps. I can't express how relieved my wife and I are at the moment. |
| Great news. Hope you have some more good quality time with Charlie. |
| Treasure every day. Keep fighting Charlie. xxx |
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Thinking of you.  |
| Love the sardine treat! |
| Between divine intervention...and pure love for your Charlie~~~~ So happy for ALL of you!!!! That wonderful Sheepie Spirit shines through!!!!! |
| Charlie's final check up was yesterday. Everyone expected that his corneal ulcer would be gone completely. He had been a little more himself the past week and I didn't see what was coming. Instead of a final clear bill of health (at least as far as the eye was concerned), the ulcer is back in full. A shock. The cornea has three layers, and the problem has been that the top one has a hole exposing the second layer where blood vessels and nerves are. That's why it is so painful, causing tearing and squinting. The top layer tries to heal over but in Charlie, it won't adhere and sluffs off, building up dead tissue around the edges that prevent further healing and closing of the hole. The standard procedure is to debride that dead material and treat it with antibiotics, and serum and place a contact lens over the cornea as a bandage, until it heals over. A simple and usually 90% successful procedure the first time, with a 100% success rate if repeated. But not with Charlie. His age and the fact that the ulcer has caused longstanding corneal edema (pressure caused by excess fluid in the corneal) is the problem. This was supposed to be the last time to do the procedure. But when the vet saw was was happening she immediately said we needed to try one more time. I am not sure if it a case of a doctor refusing to admit failure or that the fact that he had shown a lot of healing last time, meant she was more than hopeful of success this third time. In any case, she performed yet another burr debridement, this time adding an old method of cross hatching the cornea with a needle to assist in reattachment. Charlie is back in the collar and on pain meds and seems more depressed than ever. So am I. The end time with our dogs can be so difficult. I am full of self doubt right now. Is it me? Am I refusing to accept the end, prolonging Charlie's pain and suffering? Does the vet really believe this will work this time? Or is it her professional conceit that tells her that this is a procedure that has a 100% success rate, when in fact, she has done everything she can. It is hard to watch Charlie. I know he is miserable but I guess I am committed to giving him another three weeks. But hope has about run out around here and it is going to be a long three weeks. |
| Sorry to hear about the setback. I'm right there with you Rich. |
| Come on Charlie, Heal that eye!!! |
| My stomach dropped, reading this. I am so sorry to hear that the ulcer is back. I know you and your vet have probably thought about this, and maybe Charlie can't tolerate a surgery, but is there any way to remove the eye altogether? Our cousins had an 18 year-old cat who was otherwise healthy, but had a tumor in her eye. They removed the eye and she is still doing well, 2 years later. Not sure if this is even a possibility for Charlie, but wanted to mention it, just in case. Hoping for the best for Charlie.... Laurie |
| Laurie, That would be a reasonable option in a younger dog with years ahead of him. There is a surgical procedure but the vet said due to his age and other conditions he would have a very difficult time recovering from it. He is already noticeably weaker from the months of less invasive procedures and medications he has taken. We are just praying for the chance of a little more time together without pain right now. |
| I understand. Wishing for your time together to be peaceful. Laurie |
| Richard~~I just saw your last post and I am so sorry!!!! Please do not second guess yourself and your commitment to Charlie and giving him quality time with you and his 'siblings'...Go with your gut!!!! We are never wrong in our decisions regarding our furkids......NEVER!!!! Hugs, support and prayers for all of you!!! And gentle hugs to sweet Charlie~~~~ |
| Well, it's over, and against all odds, has a happy ending. Charlie had a re-check yesterday and the corneal ulcer is finally, and completely healed. Five repeated keratectomies (medical wisdom says that if it doesn't heal after 2 attempts, it won't), the last one not just using a diamond burr but adding an older, rarely performed, technique of cross hatching the cornea with the tip of a needle. He still has some cloudiness in his eye from the prolonged corneal edema but the vet says it may fade if I continue to apply sodium chloride ointment a couple of times a day. Otherwise the edema could cause blisters which might erupt into a new ulcer. We don't ever want to go through this again. I guess this thread should be moved into the medical issues section. Charlie made it and, for now, my old friend will continue to add to his personal record as the longest living sheepie I have ever had. Thanks to all of you for your understanding and help in us getting through this. |
 Oh that is so good to hear (read) these daft dogs are just to human!! Big hugs and hope he keeps well for a while to come.x   |
| You have lifted my heart today. Thank you for the great news! Laurie |
| Great news Richard. I hope Charlie continues on for a long time. |
| That's great news... and I will move this to the medical section! YAY!!! |
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| So happy that things so far are working well for you and Charlie. |
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