I don't want to go....
 scheduled for next week and just found out we will be doing a lot of extra work for the next two weeks. On fridays I am so tired of driving all week, I may not get back in the car until monday. I really do not want to spend my day off going to a xmas party, I do not see good at night and try very hard to get home before it gets dark. I also do not think it is fair for me to be gone even more when I am going to be working some late days the week before. It is not fair to Tinsley and my kitties for me to be gone so much. The traffic the few weeks before is so bad my nerves are shot by the time the holiday gets here and I just want to hibernate..I know I sound like scrooge, but I will be thinking about Karma kitty, Bear Bear and Lucy, who I lost all in one year. Is it wrong for me to want to be by myself with my sad memories??  I don't want to spoil the other peoples fun, but I am just not feeling the spirit this year.... Any advice or comments from my friends in cyberspace??? |
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| I completely get where you're coming from! I always think there are two things to weigh up when I'm deciding whether to go to a work function. 1. what do I gain by going if it's not something I want to do ie. networking opportunities, goodwill of customers, colleagues, my Boss (important) 2. how understanding will the people above be if I don't attend after making a reasonable case for not attending. (your health issues sound reasonable to me but I've had bosses who are understanding and those who aren't.) If you go can you only stay for a short period of time and then leave early. That has worked for me when I've really felt that I needed to go but didn't really want to be there. |
I know exactly how you feel. Every year I try to get on top of things and every year I think I have accomplished it yet WHAM  I get very frustrated because it seems the actual point of Christmas gets lost in it all. I am forced to haul my kids around to all of these concerts and parades and plays and all the costumes and shirts and suits and dresses and stuff they will never wear again all has to be paid for right before Santa comes. I say forced because their grades depend on some of it. In the midst of it all I am trying to purchase for the less fortunate and have them be a part of that...adopting families. This is added to our normal chaotic schedule. Why can't people just get together and eat a nice meal and maybe write each other a nice note? On one day!!!! Is Christmas supposed to be a 2 week long gift giving palooza?! I sound like a scrooge I know. I put on a good show for my 8yr old. but I have to tell you my kids are the same. They are exhausted by the time these events draw to a close. Now, for some positivity...What I can say is there is a great sense of accomplishment after each activity. We may all dread them as they approach but when they are over we are all happy we went and we are all happy the event is over! We all feel like o.k. nailed it, bring on the next one! Then someone is complaining about itchy pants and a too tight collar and we go. Haha! It may be the same for you. Maybe be one of the first ones there so you aren't driving in the dark both ways, stay for just a little while to say hello and make your presence known. They all know you haven't been feeling well right? Let them know you need to get some rest and excuse yourself early. Get home and snuggle up with a good movie and your babies! |
Aleece, I am so exhausted for you. I don't see how you do it without checking into the psych ward after its over. I admire anyone who can keep it together during the holidays. It seems anytime I work extra, I end up being sick a few weeks later. So I don't really make any extra money. I usually end up losing money. I am afraid that is what is going to happen again, working extra the weeks before xmas. Then xmas week, we start our work on sunday so we can have xmas off, then have to finish on sat, then the next week the same for new years. Its not like we really get an extra day off, just push it towards the end of the week......I am beginning to think I will just pencil in a migraine for 2pm on that day in my appt book  and not worry what they think. |
| I wonder if maybe you wont be the only one who ends up ill that afternoon!!!! It has to be the same to some degree for everyone. You having it worse because you are already run down from being sick for real. I think it is customary to set up a gathering and certainly good for employees to connect but how about June during the day at a local park. If it makes you feel better, whatever you decide - I agree! Especially if it involves a blanket, pajamas and furry animals. |
| Amazing how quickly a "stomach bug" can come upon you and you "just can't come because ....." |
| No one ever questions or wants someone around with sever diarrhea... |
| "I'm sorry, I have a conflict, and won't be able to come." No need to say anything more than that. (And don't let them push you for more!) Clearly you're done in, and need the rest more than the party. I've never been much for company gatherings anyway. Too often it's filled with work conversations (and who needs more of that on their personal time!), or watching co-workers get a little too loose and easy (which should be reserved for their own personal time.) Good luck!  |
| My DH attended maybe 4 Christmas parties in 52 years work. If you normally attend, missing one isn't the end of the world. |
Wouldn't it be nice if we could all be honest and just say, 'no thanks, I'm not interested' instead of telling a fib? It is your free time to do what you want. You have earned the right to go or not. Besides, you can always be busy picking your nose!!!!!!!   |
The really sad thing is last year I did not go because i knew Bear Bear did not have much time left. Work had been very stressful and I had begged, I mean begged to have some of my route changed to be shorter days .. so I just said I could not go because I had a prior engagement,,,,spending time with my Bear Bear.....and when review time in jan came, it was brought up i was not a team player because I did not go to the xmas party and declined a few lunch dates, would rather finish my route and go home rather than spend and hour or two at lunch and get home later....So guess I will get reprimanded again, but never did see the email where it said it was required you go to lunch and the xmas party.  |
| What kind of party? If its something (potluck or in-office) that you can send in a tray of goodies or something, do that with a nice card saying you regret not being able to attend the party. If its a party that is in a restaurant or such, send in a goodie tray to the main office, same sentiment. In this case its the expression of thought that counts. |
mable4ever wrote: when review time in jan came, it was brought up i was not a team player because I did not go to the xmas party and declined a few lunch dates, would rather finish my route and go home rather than spend and hour or two at lunch and get home later. Unless there's some funky rider in the labor laws in your area, your employer cannot dictate what you do on your personal time. Do you do your work satisfactorily? Do others have to pick up your slack? Do you have excessive absences? Do you generally get along with your co-workers? Do you smell like a walking sewer? (Don't ask me where THAT one comes from!  ) Sooooo - unless they are paying you for lunch, and paying you to attend parties, your attendance at these things cannot reflect on your performance. Your boss can't dictate how and with whom you socialize, and unless you've been ducking out of mandatory team meetings, this is a pile of  It's the firm decision to keep your professional life separate from your personal life. |
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