Love Me, Love My Dog
It's pouring rain outside and I'm bored so decided to tell a tidbit about myself which I'm sure will leave people shaking their heads. On the other hand, most here will understand my way of thinking. When Shaggy became ill, my partner of 15 years at the time said "Let the stupid mutt die". I was astounded and of course dissapointed at his reponse. Now to come to his defence somewhat, he had grown up without a single animal in his home. He had never understood the love I had for them and only mildly tolerated them. I desperately needed money to save Shaggy's life and he refused to let me dip in our joint bank account. I had some thinking to do, as despite what I just said about his statement he was otherwise a very nice person. I realized that animals were too much part of my life and too much part of who I was. Since I was a tiny child I had numerous pets in my home. At age 12 I would spend hours observing my dogs and cats and read every book I could about them, so that even my teachers would ask me for advice on pet care. I pawned my engagement ring to pay for Shaggy's care. Now those that don't understand the love one can have for a pet were shocked. She had the blood transfusions that she needed to survive and later I was able to retrieve the ring and returned it to him. (We had been engaged for 14 years at that time). We ended our relationship amicably and remain friends to this day. The agent whom put our house on the market informed me I could buy a nice town house. I realized that pets had to be under a certain size to be able to bring them. Shaggy and Blue were aged 11 and 12, something like that and no way would I part with them. It meant buying my own home which at that time I owned 1/4 of it, my partner the other 1/4 and the bank the other 1/2. The bank turned me down 5 times telling me I didn't make enough, which seemed silly as I had been paying the morgage on my own for 2 years, after my partner and I seperated. Undaunted but determined, I kept getting jobs...so that I ended up working 4 jobs for 2 1/2 years before the bank allowed me to purchase my own home. I taught for 5 hrs for the school district, and would be able to return home daily at 2:30 every day, in the evenings I taught ESL for 2 hours from 7-9 pm, on weekends I performed my magic shows, and once a week I worked in the Extended Care unit at a local hospital. So despite having 4 jobs I was able to be home often. Those close to me could never understand what I gave up. I had a comfortable life according to them. Mike's job enabled him to have a expense account, a huge suite at a stadium, and a car allowance. I traded it all for a life of uncertainties, as I also said I wanted no spousal allowance in order to be able to buy off his share of the home and therefore got a deal on his portion. Only those that understood my love for animals and that Shaggy was not just a dog to me knew it seemed perfectly reasonable. Shaggy passed away 6 years after her diagnosis and I had no regrets! I own a large home, the morgage is slowly dwindling and maybe I'll be able to pay it off someday. I have filled it with previous homeless critters that needed a forever home. Should I marry someday? They will have to love me, love my dog.(s) Marianne and the boys |
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Marianne, what a touching story!!! You have a good heart. Your priorities may differ from others, but one fact will always remain...an animals love is forever!! Congradulations on doing it yourself, I dont know if I could have done that. Hopefully, youre down to one job now  Woman power..whoo whoo whoo!! |
| Good for you Marianne!!! You have to follow your heart and do what is right for you!!!
Karen |
| Bestdogs has a signature line line about being rich if you are owned by a sheepdog. Six good Shaggy years for an engagement ring? I would say you were very rich from that trade.
It is really sad when we find that people we love can not share the most fundamental parts of our loves. Many years ago a couples therapist told me that we each must distinguish what we need from what we want. The needs are those parts of a relationship that are non-negotiable and the wants are those where we can compromise and change. You came to understand that having, loving, and living with animals is one of your needs. Having a partner who shares that is another need. Your strength was recognizing what was important for you and going after it. And you did with four jobs and many years of effort. I think a lot of people on this forum including me can understand the overwhelming need for a dog or three in our lives. All I can say is: You Go Girl! You deserve a cookie, many sloppy puppy kisses from the boys, and massage [the upright version of a tummyrub]! |
| Thanks for sharing!!! One of the things I like about this forum is the ability to get to know folks. It's about dogs and people!!! There are so many very interesting people here (as we learned when Darcy posted "Getting to Know you") it really amazes me.
We are all so different and yet have a common bond in the love of our animals. I gave up the "comfortable life" too, after 23 years of marriage (he didn't like dogs either) for a long list of reasons. But after 7 years of Tasker and me against the world I now have a partner who loves my puppies ALMOST as much as I do  |
| Kudos to you Marianne! It takes courage to give up everything. The reason your life is so rich now is because you did it for all the right reasons. To me being rich isn't all about money, it's more about caring and being cared about. That is something you have in abundance and makes you wealthy beyond compare.
The love you have for all your animals is obvious to all. All the wonderful stories you tell us, the advice you give and the memories you have mean more than a large bank account. You've had a pretty amazing life and should be very proud . |
| Wow! Didn't expect so many responses to my ramblings..thanks, you guys!!!
Henry's mom viewed my sentiments far better than I could have said , we just have to follow our own hearts sometimes. I also realize relationships are compromises of sorts as long as it doesn't go against our own value systems. Then we start disliking ourselves for allowing that to happen. I've never regreted my decision and do indeed live a rich and happy life. I can face myself in the mirror and sleep peacefully. I provided Shaggy with the best care and didn't just put her down for convienience sake. If I had allowed that to occur I would have had way more regrets, and would have felt bitter. That would be a terrible way to live. Saying that, I also acknowledge that give and take in relationships is a sign of a healthy relationship. You may not always share your partners passions or interest but if both are supportive of each other than it's a wonderful thing. Cough cough..ummm who am I to give relationship advice..ha ha! Again, thanks for all your wonderful post and words, it was very heartwarming to read. You guys are the best! Marianne and the boys |
Marianne wrote: Wow! Didn't expect so many responses to my ramblings..thanks, you guys!!!
I also realize relationships are compromises of sorts as long as it doesn't go against our own value systems. Then we start disliking ourselves for allowing that to happen. You may not always share your partners passions or interest but if both are supportive of each other than it's a wonderful thing. Cough cough..ummm who am I to give relationship advice..ha ha! Marianne and the boys This is the guy I married too, he does not share my love for animals, and merely tolerates them. But somehow we have two dogs, 2 cats, and 2 guinea pigs...we use to have birds and fish...perhaps not all at the same time. He finally realizes the importance of pets in a home esp for me....I too grew up with lots of pets (lived on a farm). Now he is getting better, finding humor in the dogs, enjoys the cuddles and affections from the cats, is in amazement at the smarts of animals now...where he may not of noticed before. He secretly praises Remy to other people. I am very proud of him for trying to make me happy...yet the dogs duties are mine 100% and he reminds me of that daily  |
| Marianne you know I whole heartedly agree with and support your decisions. EXCEPT give up a suite at a sports complex?!? You're killing me! I would have said that you still get to go whenever you wanted. Nothing better than free tickets, especially in a suite! |
| Hi Marianne .
You are great person and you deserve a great big hug. Good on you for holding on to your guns. Lives and relationships is about sharing but sometimes others see only it from their point of view and what really matters to us (especially when a pet dies), they just don't see it and certainly don't feel it. I dated a girl once that had 3 kids, 11-12 and 13. I was willing to do eveything I could to make this relationship work, we had talked about moving in together in few months in my 5 bedroom house and when I told her that I would love to have another sheepie or 2 someday (since Nandi ahd just died a month before), her only comment was with a little thing coming out of mouth like ppfff and she said - you can have your dog(s) but I'm not going to be looking after them. Well I got the hint right there and a short while later it was Adios, I'll find someone else who cares about what's important to me. That was years ago and I never regretted it (now I just need to find another sheepie and that other person ).
Uncle Pete |
| Hi Marianne!
Your strength and integrity are inspiring. I applaud you for standing firm on your beliefs even in the face of sacrifice. What an accomplishment-- I have always had a bit of distrust for people who don't like animals, and immediately connect with those who do. You are obviously a wonderful woman with a wonderful heart. You deserve the BEST! |
| Hi Again,
Uncle Pete thanks for sharing your story as well...whew just goes to show you I'm not the only nutty one out there. (Said in amusing tone). Thanks everyone for your comments and you know for once..I'm speechless...must be a first for me! 
Marianne and the boys |
| Marianne, say it isn't so....speechless |
| Marianne -
I've been away for a few days and am just getting caught up on my forum reading. I sooooo appreciate your story! It reminds me of the title of that movie coming out soon called "Must Love Dogs" -it's in a personal ad. I told my SIL that sounded like me! Love me, love my pets....all of them. I can't count the number of first dates that never made it to second dates for that very reason. It's just not negotiable. Your life is full and you're rich in what really matters! **Hugs** |
| Marianne,
I love your story. I don't know how you did it so long lasting with someone who wasn't a dog person. I could never be with anyone who didn't love my animals as they are part of who I am. I believe I have more pictures of the animals in my photo albums than I do people. lol Uncle Pete...You also did the right thing
Elissa |
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