So, how do you "get over things?"
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Time and a positive attitude. I work with my ex and I was really angry for awhile. Then one day I just decided I couldn't live being so angry. But it took time. Now we talk and joke at work all the time. If you told me I would be doing that when I was in that funk I would have laughed or cried  Just say good morning and eventually it will not even matter anymore. I know this might sound silly but I faked it and then it just became second nature. I had a few screams in the car on the way home hahaha but eventually it didn't matter anymore. Good Luck. |
| You don't have to be friends, you just have to be respectful of each other. And yes, you're going to be angry and frustrated for a while, because seeing this person will remind you of why you had your falling out. That's OK, as long as you don't let it consume you. Remember, it took time to build this relationship. It will take time to redefine it. And since I'm feeling "quotable" today: "Time heals all wounds, and wounds all heels." "Fake it 'til you make it." "It's just mind over matter: you don't mind, and they don't matter."  |
| Well said Diane. A positive mantra and pep talk to myself elevates my emotional state beyond the pettiness of others. I like this: Weak people--Revenge Strong people--Forgive Intelligent people--Ignore |
| I agree with all the above advise. The best thing is to act like nothing happened. Continue saying "hello" and all the other daily niceties. When my son got married, it was one of the first times my ex and I had been together at a party of any type since, other than his wedding in years, but that's another story. Anyway, I wanted to do what was best for my son, so if you look at the video, you would have thought my ex and I were the best of friends. There is a pic of my ex, his wife, me and "our granddaughter" and "my granddaughter" all 5 of us, holding hands dancing away in a circle. Even my son couldn't believe it. Even at the Rehearsal Dinner, my cousin, who is a Priest, told me how proud he was of me of how I was handling all of it.  So say your "Good Mornings" and your "how are you doing?" and go forward..YOU have control over how this person effects you. |
| I agree with the above posts. The first few times you engage with them can feel weird and uncomfortable but then you get used to it and don't really think about it. |
| A friend once told me, that the nicer/sweeter you are to that person, they don't understand why you aren't responding as expected . . . and it will drive them nuts. Smother them with "syrup" (then let us know how it worked out, cause I could never do it, so I can't tell you). |
| 1) "I'm sorry we had that fight. Can we 2) Get past it and remain friends? Get past it and continue to..... Forget that it happened? Pretend that it didn't happen? 3) I'd hate to lose such a long relationship with you over that incident. I know that issue is as important to you as it is to me, but can we put it aside? If that kind of an approach isn't worth it or produces a negative response that lasts, you'll need to move on and just be cordial. You could try again in a few weeks. But just making that overture will probably reduce the ongoing awkwardness. Imho |
| Ron, this has happened in the past and we've had talks but behaviors haven't changed so I'm past the point of talking about it. But your advice is very good, if the other person is receptive. I like Brenda's saying "intelligent people--ignore." I'll just be cordial and I'm sure eventually the akwardness will pass. Or i"ll adjust! I first heard the saying "fake it till you make it" from Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. It really is true. The other saying I like is "act as if." As if it doesn't bother you, as if you aren't scared, as if something is easy. |
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