Am I being punished?
So I'm finally home, and have been for a little over a week. At first, it was obvious the girls had elected my husband as "leader of the pack" but after a day or two, I was quickly back at the top of their list. But for the first few days, they wouldn't listen to me real well, and obviously preferred him. Now, as we get back into a routine (though it's not the same routine we had before, I am home much much more than I was previously) Ava in particular is doing strange things. She had stopped being such a pain in the butt puppy, but now... We have serious dog squabbles between her and Lacy There is trash raiding Item stealing and chewing Crazy barking at... who knows what. But letting them outside has become a trial, I am embarrassed by Ava's constant barking! Ava is not listening to me one bit. And believe me, she's getting reprimanded. The worst offenses (dog fights) get a blasting with the air horn. Other minor infractions either get a stern "NO" or a good squirt with the water bottle. But she is REALLY acting up. Lacy on the other hand, seems almost sedate. Also, I um... shaved them. Had to, given the fact that I wasn't here brushing them, and though hubby did the best he could, he didn't understand line brushing, or the fact that once a week wasn't going to cut it. So, are they mad at me because they're nekkid? Is this something to do with the re-arrangement of the pack? What happened to my good girl? Crap, I forgot to add that she also got spayed a week ago. Now that I'm looking at this, maybe she's mad at us. |
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| I should add that Ava is not listening to my husband either, they have abandoned him as "leader" it would seem. Really not sure if it's the nekkidness, or the fact that I'm back. |
| While Tonks and Luna have always had behavioral issues, we had quite a bit of new trouble when I got sick and could no longer be the strong leader they needed. They used to go to doggie daycare 3 times a week; that had to stop when I got sick because Tonks started to pick fights with dogs there. She never used to fight with any dog other than her sister. Next up was the dog-park; we used to go for 2 hours a day; once I got sick I stopped being able to take them, and when I was better, it seemed like it was a skill they lost. I was sick for over 3 years; you'e only been gone a month. I should think you can reverse this. I wish you luck!!! |
Sounds like hubby let them get away with stuff, don't be to hard on him  |
| I don't think they're mad at you and punishing you! I think that due to all the changes there's a shake up going on in the pack. You said they're no longer viewing your DH as pack leader and possibly because you've been away they're not thinking of you as leader yet so there is jostling for pack leader position. I think Dawn or Kristine will give you some useful tips on how to settle things down. But I'd be thinking of all the pack leader training stuff. You know they have to sit and wait for their food, you go through doorways first. All that stuff. Good luck.  |
Mim wrote: I don't think they're mad at you and punishing you! I think that due to all the changes there's a shake up going on in the pack. You said they're no longer viewing your DH as pack leader and possibly because you've been away they're not thinking of you as leader yet so there is jostling for pack leader position. I think Dawn or Kristine will give you some useful tips on how to settle things down. I didn't quite know how to say it, but Mim came to the rescue. Yes, they are searching for a leader. |
| Just be careful with the water thing. I sometimes have dogs come into the grooming salon that seem terrified of water and it makes me wonder if their owners use a spray bottle a a deterrent. I just wouldn't want them to think they are in trouble every time they get a bath. Duke used to be great at dog parks as well. I used to be so proud of him. He never got into fights and if another dog tried to instigate one he just turned around and started sniffing and peeing on trees. With no notice at all he just started being a little brat just about 75% of the time he was around groups of dogs larger that 3-5. Not sure if he is getting overwhelmed now that he is getting older (6) or what but I miss the dog park and seeing him playing well with other dogs. I only bring him now if Derek comes with me so we can stay close and he can grab him if he starts his tell tale stare. If you find the answer let me know. For now we just do fun classes together and he is fine in a class setting where there are clear rules. |
| They aren't punishing you - they are just horribly unsettled. They have had a LOT of changes lately. Moving, family gone and stressed out, even Ava joining your family wasn't that long before the big changes in your life started. Get in your routine, and do the normal stuff you do. No babying them, or feeling like they have been neglected. Now would be a good time to keep them busy - mental and physical tired fixes a lot of issues, along with consistency and your expectations of them clear. Take some classes, remind them who is the leader(s) in your household (not them). Some focus work and team work skills would be really helpful too. Have the kids do activities with them too, if they can. Also - the girls age-wise are in a transitional time. They are becoming adults and not just little kids who are play buddies. Now stuff like pack order and hierarchy are part of their life, and they are trying to work that out in the midst of all this other change....so no wonder you are seeing all this behavior. It's never right, or permissible to be obnoxious (the garbage, barking, etc) but at least you can understand the WHY of it and work towards resolving it. The fighting between themselves is one of those things you are best letting them work out. It will sound bad, but they truly need to sort it out. Every time you interrupt or separate them, it goes unresolved and strews and builds...They are dogs, and this is a dog thing. And with two females, it is more likely to be drawn out, more intense, and slow to resolve - way more than between a male/female, or two males. Only one will be boss, and we don't get to pick. They do. |
| This too will pass once you become the steady, strong but compassionate pack leader again.....they are testing you as well as each other. Figure DH is a lost cause and they've dropped him. Dogs live and thrive on a routine. As Dawn said, consistency. Don't forget a lot of exercise, "tired dog is a good dog." Life has been crazy for them........and their ages. Still working on pack dynamics. Forget about the shave, they are fine. Maybe increased eye awareness has made her nervous, "Whattsthat?" when the hair hid a few thing is creating a problem, but that lasts a day or two at most. One thing about shaved dogs, don't forget they still love the tactile experience. You won't have a brush but you are still obligated to touch.......often. |
Ditto... changes in the house and routine can throw everything off. Just give it time and consistency, and I can't stress enough agreeing with not babying them. People often attribute human emotions or motives to dogs and they just aren't there.... hope things settle down soon for you  |
| Funny about the routine - Archie has none and he's perfectly settled. I work shifts my wife works all sorts of weird hours, he never goes out the same time twice, never the same route or person. Maybe if you ingrain routine from the very start they become to depend on it? |
Archies Slave wrote: Funny about the routine - Archie has none and he's perfectly settled. I work shifts my wife works all sorts of weird hours, he never goes out the same time twice, never the same route or person. Maybe if you ingrain routine from the very start they become to depend on it? I don't remember Archie having any fur siblings to squabble with. He has you both all to himself.  |
| Some are so laid back nothing upsets them. They are perfectly content with life no matter how it is delivered. Good boy Archie! I also think it is a reflection of your life. If there is constant change, turmoil, whatever, the dog enters into that life as well. DH and I are calm (boring?) and so are the dogs. Even when a K9 pack of 7, everyone pretty much was mellow. |
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