Flower Girl Dress Question
Anyways she is marrying an older guy, quite an age difference. Her one bridesmaid is her age (25 ish), and the other is (50 ish)..so the bridesmaid dresses will be sewn and individual to them. They will wear a heavy satin fabric, in a dark emerald green. I saw the fabric and felt it was too heavy for a 5/6 yr old, and I couldn't find any shear fabric to make the overlay. The Bride was wanting her dress to match the others... I suggested white with trimming in the emerald green...much easier to do. Considering I have to sew it. My question is if you used a flower girl how many had them in a white dress, and how many had them in the same color as the bridesmaids? Am I out of line to change the color...I okay'd it with her first, and not to sound superior to her, but she is not that smart when it comes to some things. But it is her wedding, and I want her to have it her way..ish. But when it comes to my little girl I want her to be beautiful, and I feel I am right. |
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| I don't think so at all.
I go to one of those "wedding boards" that are very popular ...and in ALL the pictures, the flowergirl is wearing something different from the bridesmaids/moh. Here's our cutiepatootie (we'll get better pics any day now). She's only 2. I was the one holding her back (since they traditionally go right BEFORE the bride), and when it was time to go... I SAID, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GET MOMMY!!!!!!!!! Big Mistake. lol she RAN LIKE lightning to her mommy who was my bridesmaid. 
all the guests went from TEARS to LAUGHTER. Earlier on, we stuck in a few goodies, so she'd be interested in carrying the basket. 
pic of her: http://img90.echo.cx/img90/3396/lariel1nu.jpg the blue bow was to match the groom who had his army uniform on (blue). |
| Weddings are always such emotional times. Everything has the potential to be a touchy issue, which is why, as an event planner, I steer clear of them!
However, in every wedding I've attended this spring (and there have been quite a few!), the flower girl was in a primarily white dress with some having added colors in the trims. I'd say to politely make suggestions to your SIL, even showing her the fabrics and pointing out how great it will look. Good luck, Daisie  |
| Being a bride I know exactly what the bride is feeling with wanting things to be exactly the way she wants it, so it could be tricky if she wants the flower girl's dress a certain way...
That being said, I think all weddings I've been to have had the flowergirl in a white dress with some sort of color in it. I think for your sister in law's wedding it would look beautiful to have a white dress with an emerald sash around her waist. I think that would tie in the colors perfectly. The only people I've ever seen dressed as the bridesmaids (or in a very similar variation) are the junior bridesmaids (who are usually like 10 or so...too old to be flower girls too young to be bridemaids)... |
| I've always seen them in white with a sash the color of the bridesmaid dresses. |
| In the end- it is her wedding, make your suggestion, but do what makes the bride happy... I wish my SILs had done that for me! As a side note I wore the same dress as the bridesmaids when I was a flower girl, As a little girl, I thought it was VERY cool to wear the same dress as the "big" girls got to wear. Both times were warm summer days, and the dresses were satin, and heavy. I still remember having a blast- the only thing was the underskirt was scratchy... Keep the peace, your new sister will thank you for it later!
Karen |
| Thanks, she's been my sis in law for 7 yrs now, she was a bridesmaid in my wedding, hubby's only sister...anyways I do regret having her but our wedding was still beautiful and it all worked out.
We have a weird friendship...not a close person to me. I did mention that flowergirls traditionally wear white, perhaps trimmed in the wedding colors. Right away she said NO she must be in green...so I tried. I really did, but I couldn't buy fabric's to make it pretty enough. And then I thought they haven't even made the bridesmaid dresses yet, what if they change their minds. The thing is I had to buy my fabric now, closer to wedding we have a million other things to buy or pay for...I had to get this out of the way. So we weren't strapped for money later. So I did mention it to her, and she came around to the idea of the dress trimmed in green. I really didn't want to hurt her feelings or take over, and say no to her idea. So I got her a Bride book to see pictures of what's in, what is tradtional...and that the flowergirls wear a white dress. When I was planning our wedding I had every bride book out there, it helps to get ideas. I've been a flower girl too, but my dress matched the others. As a junior bridesmaid I too matched the others. I've been a bridesmaid in 2 friends weddings, but neither had flowergirls. I didn't either...would have if we had any small girls in the family. Madelyn is excited but she too didn't like green, and didn't want to wear a green dress. |
| Gawd I'm the least likely person to advise on weddings..ha ha!
But I'll play devils advocate and am trying to see it from your sister in law's point of view. Okay I admit she's wrong..lol but lets say for example you do keep insisting your little girl wears white and she insist on green ,,it all comes down to it's her wedding and no matter if she's right or wrong..it's her decision. You might not like it but for the sake of family peace..suck it up and allow her. >>ducks and Daisie a big smile as peace offering. Please don't be mad at me..I do agree with you but I think she has the final decision. Marianne and the boys |
| I got her to agree to the white, I am a little worried she might be grumbling behind my back. I even bought the fabric they are planning on using (she had a sample piece) so I can try and add it to her dress...I think she is okay with it.
I guess I just wanted some reassurance I wasn't too out of place to suggest she is wrong, and it would be better for her to be in a white dress. The fabric I picked is beautiful, it has a scalopped edge with embroided satin flowers all along the bottom of the skirt...should be from the thigh down. It has an empire wasitline, I can attach a bow to it. Her basket can also be trimmed with green ribbons trailing down the front. I can be a very creative person, and I think I have a good eye when it comes to picking fabrics. I even suggest she look at a chiffon type fabric for her bridesmaid, esp since the one is in her 50's...would a lady of this age want to wear a typical bridesmaid satin dress...or a nice dress suit made of a crepe or silk fabric...more her age. The 25 yr old doesn't matter, she can be in anything...and it will be okay. I want my daughter to get all the awe from everyone...I'm so selfish. Jo...that little girl is so darn cute...that's what I wanted to see. Makes me feel better about pushing for the white. I'll make it soon and post pictures. |
| Yeah for the white!
There is just something so sweet about seeing the little flowergirl in the light-flowy white dress...It makes it seem like it is 'her' role and not just as a mini accessory to the bridesmaids. Yeah, I would think a satin fabric would be difficult for a 50-something to possibly wear (satin shows a lot of bumps and bulges--not easy to hide anything)--I was in a friend's wedding a couple of years ago and we had these periwinkle satin dresses that just showed all imperfections...and we were only 22 at the time! I like the idea of a gorgeous evening suit for her...Also, maybe mention to your SIL that bridesmaids these days don't necessarily have to match each other--often the same color is used but a different style to the top--that even the bridesmaids might choose for themselves...Like halter versus strapless, etc. (Can you TELL that I am getting married soon!!)  |
Just a thought....What about a softer shade of green? Like a mint color or something...Now this is YEARS ago , but my twiny and I were flower girls for my cousin and I remember (Yes I can remember that far back) that the bridesmaid dresses were vivid yellow and adult like...We wore light yellow swiss dot dresses with the vivid yellow sash empire waisted..and pantaloons  kinda like little bo peep, but not quite so over the top...I remember feeling like a princess, but more importantly, when I look back at those pictures, I think Jeanette made beautiful choices on the dresses........If I had a large wedding, which I did not , I had wanted all little boys dressed in little Eton suits (we have no girls)...oh well... but back to the subject, white is beautiful but if you can find a nice shade of light green that might be nice too. |
| Thanks Barney,
I never realized that I like to control things or stuf, until this wedding...I feel kinda like I should rescue her from her ideas...yet them be her ideas. I wish I knew how he bridesmaids feel about the dress choices. I know she is having someone make the dresses...and I think she is influenceing SIL to make the fabric choice. After all it came from Wal-Mart...I have nothing against Wal-Mart fabrics...but not for a wedding. I talked to my mother in law a little about it, and she agrees that the 50 yr one would feel more comfortable in a suit (they are the same age and friends too)...so who knows maybe this will all turn around and be a sophisticated wedding considering everyone's ages. My SIL is in her mid 20's and the groom is in his 40's, the older bridesmaid is her piano teacher and long time friend, and the 20's girl is a co-worker and best friend I think. I am just worried for her, and I MUST keep myself in check, and remember this is HER wedding. At least I dodged the bullet on Madelyn's dress, and I feel good about that. Now to keep my mouth shut and go with the flow until the big day, and do some present shopping. Maybe I will even host the shower party. |
Careful, you are talking about the lady in her 50's like she's ANCIENT, us antique folk like to be purty too!!!!!!!!!!!  |
| Everyone should be purty, and feel comfortable...
I mean the style and choice in fabric will NOT look good on this specific lady. She is way to sophisticated for a green satin "typical" bridesmaid dress. I want to see everyone look age appropiate and comfortable for the entire day. Satin does show every little bump, and I wish they'd reconsider their choice. I think this lady would look superb in a sheer organza style of fabric, flowing with gentle ruffles in the skirt and a nice drape. Perhaps with a wrap, since the wedding is Sept. Not saying this lady can't have fun or be pretty at all...sorry to offend anyone, she is a very young spirited person, which is probably why she was asked to be in the wedding. |
| Just teasing |
| I know, but just incase anyone was feeling that way. I want to clairify...you make a good point. |
| I guess the bottem line is that right or wrong, brides tend to want things to be "their way". Ten years from now it won't be a big deal to you but it will always be "her" wedding day and hopefully the only one she has. You'll have the opportunity with your daughter someday to use all your good taste and skill, look at this as a learning experience for what you don't want to do then
As my son's wedding approaches, and it's a HUGE affair at the Fairmont in Washington DC, I've learned that my role as mother of the groom is to do what I'm told, when I'm told and keep a smile on my face
I hate huge formal affairs and if it were me I'd be getting married bare foot in a field somewhere. But this is my daughter in laws dream wedding and I hope it's all she hopes for. Although, I'm kinda afraid the door man at the Fairmont is going to take one look at me and tell me to use the back door
"Upstate NY Hick heads for Washington DC" By golly I think there is a movie there somewhere! |
Daisie wrote: I want my daughter to get all the awe from everyone....I'm so selfish.
You said it, not me.
I operated a Bridal Shop for a few years, and have seen many Brides in the position you've put her in. It's their "special" day, but everyone else wants to do it their way. If you're asked to be a bridesmaid, flower girl, bestman, ring bearer, etc..... that alone should be an honor. For years, girls dream of that special day. Groomsmen and bridemaids have always "dreaded" what they might have to wear. I always suggested that if they were causing her (the bride to be) that much heartache, perhaps she should consider someone else. After all, its only for a few hours, and isn't your love for a friend, or family member worth a little sacrifice, for them to have the "wedding they've dreamed of" for years? My final comment is, that its not whats on the outside that makes someone beautiful, or cute. You can have on the most expensive, most elegant gown available, but , if your not wearing true love, happiness, kindness, etc., on the inside, the ugliness will still be what people see, not the elegant gown. (Not meant to be taken personally)
I'm sure your daughter is gorgeous, but in my opinion, this is a wedding she's been asked to be in. She's going to be cute no matter what she's wearing. ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL eyes should be on the "Bride" and Groom, it's "their" day. Make it special. |
| I was a very nice thougthful bride, I picked beautiful sleek, dresses with a very simple elegant style. Dresses that could be altered to wear again, to a shorter length. Anyways, I totally thought of them, their bodies, their coloring, the time of year. Anyways, my 6 yr old will be fine in anything, I will do what my SIL wants...
I am glad I wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid, she was a bridesmaid for me and she was horrible...made no effort to be happy for us. Even frowning is some of the pictures, so when she asked for Madelyn to be flower girl, I was a little suprised. I suppose I am not being very gracious to her, but it does stir up old memories. However she did agree to Madelyn wearing white with green trimmings, so I am happy now. She will have a very cute little girl, and I hope it goes off without any problems. I know this is her day, one she has been planning for years I am sure...but so far her actions don't say that. She is even saying she'd rather go to a JP to avoid making decisions, or plan anything. She hasn't even picked a first song to dance to...it's so fun and easy to plan the little things, and she just doesn't have a clue what she should be doing. I was so suprised she didn't even buy 1 bride book, so I did and hopefully she can schedule her things...following their reccommendations. I'll let you all know how things turn out. Keeping my fingers crossed. |
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