To go or not to go
My sister and I had a falling out about..maybe five years ago. We've talked a few times since than but its been nothing but cordial. In order to plan anything, I need two months notice to get off work. She gave me 23 days. I checked flight, motel, and car and it would cost around $800. Arrive Friday and depart Sunday. Thats not counting the hassle of getting off work(which is doable but a real pain). I have nothing to wear, will have a problem with dress shoes with my toe problem so add about $75-$100 to the cost. I keep thinking back to when I got married and she packed up the family and drove up. That was almost seventeen yrs ago and we were still talking at the time...and I gave plenty of notice. I'm not rich but I could swing it...but do I want to. |
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| Go, it may heal years of hard feelings. That does not have a price tag. In her own way she may not really expect you to come thus the late invitation--another way to stoke the fire. But one of you must be the fireman and put out the flames.....step up. You'll need the dress for the coming summer.......or maybe you have something from last summer. Wear flats if that helps the toes--thus you can wear pants instead. |
| I would not bother as for the late notice & someone might of dropped out and you was on the stand bye list. Has she called you about the invite |
| Go. I was supposed to be the MOH at my sisters first wedding. We had a falling out and she kicked me out of the wedding party. I didn't go. She was pissed that I didn't go for quite a while, well...til she got a divorce. From my point of view it's an invitation to be back in each others lives. |
| Susan & Annastacia are right. |
| I'm with the go crowd. In her own way she has offered an olive branch by inviting you (even though it is last minute), this might be the chance to repair this relationship. And, you look like the bigger person by accepting her invitation. I'm also in the flats and pants group. Nothing says you have to wear a dress, you just have to be dressed nicely. |
| I have always regretted not doing something more than making the decision to do something. And you do not need to wear high heeled shoes or a fancy dress, just wear a big smile on your face (well, and some clothes, you don't want to get arrested!). |
Mady wrote: I have always regretted not doing something more than making the decision to do something. And you do not need to wear high heeled shoes or a fancy dress, just wear a big smile on your face (well, and some clothes, you don't want to get arrested!). Funny that you say that... I've been thinking whether we should get puppy no. 4...   I would be undecided too, mainly because it's a late invite, if you were invited right away (I assume most invites went out earlier), then it could be seen as an olive branch, a late invite might have more complicated motivations. But then again, there's a high road, and at the very least it might make other family happy. If you do go, make sure to avoid any and all provocations (hopefully there wont be any)!!! |
| I agree, if you can afford to go than go. You'll be in Florida, so wearing flats are practical. I've always felt that allowing family issues into a Wedding is not the right time. The attention should all be on the Bride and Groom and everyone should wish them well. Go and enjoy and hopefully have some happy memories, life it too short. Regarding the late date of the invitation, most Wedding invitations are sent out 4-6 weeks ahead of the wedding. You never know if she/or whoever was supposed to take care of the invitations got them out on time. I wouldn't worry about something so little. Just enjoy the Wedding. |
| It depends on where you want the relationship with your sister to go. If you attend, there is a good possibility that you two will start a relationship. If you don't attend, you are sending the opposite message. I really shouldn't offer my opinion since I have two brothers that I never care if I see again. So I'm a bit cynical on sibling relationships. |
| whether you go or not, only you can make that decision. Many years ago, my sister and I were estranged for several years. It happened after my mom passed away. It was a dirty deal. Anyway, I lost many years with my nephews and truly missed them. The night I called, my nephew was so excited, he gave me the number to reach my sister. They were out of town and it happened to be her birthday. She was thrilled to hear from me. I was pleasant but also held back. I then gave her my phone number. (i had gone unlisted after the big hoopla and none of my friends or close neighbors would give her the number or any info about me) I'm glad I made the move. She is my only sibling and things have been good. I think I have forgiven her but I will never forget. I always thought what if something happened to her? If you don't go, you may be sorry in the end. |
| It's kind of tacky telling you so late - I personally would take it as a token offer on her part. Like so you can't come back later and say "I wasn't invited". However, decide if you want to, but also if you can even make it work. I have the same work scheduling issues, so I know what you mean. And your sister knows too - you've worked that job for a long time! I had a similar issue - my youngest sister and I aren't close - she makes numerous trips up here (from Wichita KS) and never calls or stops by. She just got married on NY's Eve, for the 3rd time! I attended wedding #1 and wedding #2. I just couldn't swing/didn't want to go for #3. And I also thought me being there never helped in the past, so maybe skipping it would change her luck!!  |
| Go. Just go, if you can. I know it's an unexpected expense and I know it's a pain to try to get off of work. But please: go. Yes, it may be an invitation issued so late that she wants to be able to say she invited you and you just didn't want to come but secretly she knows it might be impossible for you to go so she has an easy out. It could be that she's also wrestled with whether to invite you or not, knowing it would be expensive and that you might feel obligated or be too angry to go. Doesn't matter. Go. It's the right thing to do. She'll be so busy with other guests that likely you won't have to actually spend a lot of time with her. But you might see it as a chance to catch up with friends and family. It probably won't really change things between you, but it might. Regardless, it is still the right thing to do. And you might have fun. |
| Reading the comments. I would not go being honest lots have put some good points to go but how much does a call cost to say have you go your invite. I would send it back and stick it where the sun don't shine. Dammed if you go & Dammed if you don't go & I would rather go to a mates wedding than on of my family who has been a ****. But thats just me as I cannot be bothered to go sucking up after someone who has not bothered. |
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