Big Bad Bart in Loving Memory
I wanted to share a story with all of you that, to this day, really helps me deal with it a little better. Bart had a neurological problem, that after many, many, tests was never diagnosed and it came the day to make the call. Our vet was wonderful and I will never forget her words a few months before Bart had to leave us. She said, "You will know in your heart when the time is right. He will let you know, you just have to keep a watch for what he is saying. When his quality of life and your quality of life are suffering, that will be the time." So, the day came, I slept on the floor with him the last night, watching his every breath and revelling in his "chase the bunny" dreams that he was so unable to do while he was awake and I knew the time had come, he wanted to "chase the bunnies" again. My husband took him in, as I just couldn't. It still bothers me that I was unable to do it, but Bart would get so upset when I cried, and I couldn't stop crying! So away he went on his last car ride, which he got excited about! He did love "car rides". An hour went by, and I was sitting out in the garden with my girlfriend who had come to cry with me, and suddenly, out of nowhere came this HUGE Black and White butterfly! My girlfriend and I were speechless as it fluttered all around me. I knew it was my Bart, coming to say that he was free of his furry body and was light and flying and there was no more pain! I cannot explain it. But I have never felt such a joy and sorrow all at the same time! And it really helped make me accept a little that the cycle of life is always turning. I have, in the past 2 years, had a black & white butterfly join me often. Yesterday and the day before in my garden I have had the pleasure of him flickering around me as if to say that he will always be with me! I really wanted to share this with all of you, especially those who have lost their beloveds. Keep your eyes open! Those sweet Sheepie souls are always with you! All my thoughts are with all of you, and keep Bart in your thoughts today, you never know, he may visit you too! Colleen |
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| What a sweet story. Not only a butterfly, but a black and white butterfly! How amazing is THAT?
Good boy, Bart! |
| Colleen,
What a moving tribute to Bart! It's hard to type as I sit here with tears in my eyes. We lost our first sheepie, Buford, 11 years ago, and I still think of him often and miss him terribly. The only comfort we can take is how good a life we give them while they are with us, and how they loved us as much as we loved them. You're right - Bart will always be with you. Chris |
| What a wonderful memory to have of Bart. I don't think the pain ever goes away completely but these are tthe things that can comfort us. Thank you for sharing with us. |
| Hi,
What truly amazing and heartwarming story you've shared. I'm really touched by it all and what an incredible boy Bart was. It leaves one almost speachless to think of that beautiful black and white butterfly flittering about you and the awe you must have felt at that moment. Thanks for sharing this story and of Bart. Marianne and the boys |
| Colleen,
What a touching story about your Bart. I only hope that there will be a little butterfly in all this darkness that I still feel. This the first time I've written about Mollie, mostly because it still breaks my heart. 
April 6, 2005 was a very sad day for me. Mollie wasn't physically ill but she violently attacted my sister, who loved her dearly. There is a pitt bull behind my house, enclosed with a 6' chain link fence. Something about that pitt bull set her off. I don't know if something in Mollie's past had a pitt bull involved in it. The pitt bull (Bella) is very gentle and friendly. Bella never barked back at Mollie. Mollie would consistantly bark at Bella non-stop. My sister went outside to try and get Mollie back into the house and Mollie went flying through the air and knocked my sister down and bit her twice on the hand. The neighbors saw what happened and took my sister to emergency. I got a call at work and went to the emergency room. My sister looked a mess. My sister, did all of Mollie's grooming, and she loved Mollie very much. Mollie was a rescue from Arkansas. I had her flown to Michigan. I thought that I could make her happy. When I got Mollie, she was a very skinny 55 lbs. Just the 2 yrs. that I had her, she blossomed to 95 lbs. Mollie was not fat just all muscle. She was approximately 1 1/2 yrs olds when she came to live with me and she had a tail and dew claws. I think she was a product of a backyard breeder and dumped off on the expressway to fend for herself. I miss Mollie very much. I got Beau, so Mollie would have a playmate her own size. They got along very well. I couldn't take the chance that Mollie would attack anyone else. The day that she was to be put to sleep, she tried to attack the man at the animal shelter. There are alot of children in my subdivison. Everyone said that I did the right thing, but I still feel bad. Has anyone in the group had to put down their OES because of aggressive behavior? |
| Colleen,
What a beautiful story to share. My kids and I read it a few times now and were very touched by it. Now, whenever I go outside, I look for a black and white butterfly. When we see the butterfly, we'll give Bart lots of sheepie kisses. Sharon, Max and kids |
| With just loosening a pet,I know the unbearable pain it causes.My heart goes out to you and your family,2yrs ago but I bet the pain still hurts as if it just happened.Your beloved is w/ Joey.people say words dont help,BUT in my case they did,and I just want you to know Im sorry that you and your family lost your beloved pet.I know he is deeply missed. Hugs to you and your family. |
| Thank you all so much for expressing your feelings for our story!
To Beau and Mollies mom, I really believe you did the right thing, though it is so hard to make a decsion like that! I really feel for you! It certainly reiterates the importance of stopping back-yard breeding! Molly is no doubt romping around free with all the sheepies that have passed before her and telling stories of how kind her mommy was! You have to remember that you gave her a loving and safe home for her remaining days and that is what you should always remember most of all! To Joey's mom, Tanya: I am so glad our story touched you! As you are still grieving hard! Even though Joey has passed so early in his life, it just must have been his time, and there is no way to understand that! I read your post on beating yourself up on him getting out the door, and you just cannot do that! He sounded like a free spirit, as all our sheepies are...and he always will remain that! It sounds like his passing is going to save lives in the future, and I believe that was his purpose! Hard to grasp...yes but a noble life nonetheless! It reminds of the "Better or For Worse" comic strip when Farley passed! Keep hanging in there! It will get a little better day by day! All our love, Colleen and Gucci |
| Karen-
I know it's hard not to feel bad but you did do the right thing, and most certainly will miss Mollie. You gave her a loving last home and for that I'm sure she was grateful. Please don't beat yourself up, sometimes things just go wrong for no apparent reason. Holly |
| Thanks Colleen and Holly,
Your comments have really helped ease the pain that I feel. Thanks so very much, Karen and Beau |
| That is a very sweet story about the B&W butterfly. I wish that I could say that I saw a sign after our 1st OES passed but mine were kind of in reverse. I had just bought a brand new orthopedic bed for our senior since he was really beginning to have trouble standing up and I never got to use it plus I had found myself picking through the trash to find some hair from our last grooming session. Sorry to sound so pathetic but I have had other nice signs from someone else who I lost very dearly to me. I was always broke and after a friend of mine passed from cancer almost 20 years ago, I found a 100 dollar bill right across the street from my house. Also a friend of mine lost her boyfriend and the day after he died a persistant squirrel ran right into her front door and there were an empty pair of shoes sitting in the middle of her street right in front of her house.
And Karen, sorry to hear about what happened to Mollie. Without knowing her real background I think you intervened appropriately. So sorry to hear about your loss. |
| Thanks about your comments concerning Mollie. It is greatly appreciated. Ever since Colleen's comments about the butterfly, I have seen one everyday. (Thanks...Colleen)
I got a call from my friend Joan yesterday (she's the one that told me about Mollie in Arkansas) and we had a nice long talk and she made me feel that I made the right decision. It was the hardest decision that I ever had to make. |
| Hi Beaut and Mollie's mom,
No doubt you are feeling terrible pain at the decision you had to make. No one can fault you for what you had to do, you loved her and knew her best. I'm so sorry that you had to experience losing her in that way. It's kinda heartwarming you have also seen butterflies. Hugs to you as well! To Barts mom..I wanted to share something you told me and that was you call the black and white butterflies..Bartflies...gave me such a big smile and I wanted to share it with everyone. 
Marianne and the boys |
| Marianne,
Thanks for the heartfelt comments concerning Mollie. She at the Rainbow Bridge now showing her teeth (maybe that was only reserved for me) to anyone who cares to look. I always told her that they were show quality teeth and put them back. She wasn't a monster, just a very troubled sheepie with a hidden past. Thanks again for your comments. It is much appreciated. Karen and Beau |
| OH...I'm so thrilled that your "Bartfly" sightings are helping to ease the pain! It made me giggle about her showing her quality teeth and you telling her to put them away. I had a total visual and sheepies have the best "smiles". She was just learning to express herself!
Keep your eyes wide open...I'm sure she will send you a sign. Colleen |
| What a lovely story, my heart goes out to you as I feel your pain. We put our beloved Shoby to sleep today after loving him for 13 years. My heart is truly broken. I wish I could knew for sure I did the right thing but do you ever feel like to you did. The pain is so fresh and so intense I am truly sick with grief. He was one of our kids and I loved him with all my heart. |
| Colleen, Just wanted to tell you I saw a "Bartfly" today while I was walking Max, it's the first one I've seen this summer, so it must've been Bart!! Probably telling Max he better behave for mommy, Max loves butterflies and I'm sure he sent Bart lots of hugs!!
Sharon |
Thanks for that Sharon!  But if it was Bart, then he was telling him how to "mis"behave for Mommy! LOL!  He didn't get the nickname "Big Bad Bart" for nothing! 
I loved hearing that your had a Bartfly sighting! Thank-you! Colleen and Gucci George=>Bart comes to visit us often! I learn a lot from him!  |
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| Colleen and GG,
While walking in our yard today, guess who visited? Bartfly!!!! And he has a girlfriend!!! |
| How sweet |
YAY!  Bart was always a lady's man!
Colleen and Gucci George |
| The Pud Monster and I had a Bartfly visit this past weekend. I have never seen and black and white butterfly before then. Pud and I said hello to him and asked him to make sure that all of our friends at the bridge knew that we remembered them. |
| Oh Betsy, that's wonderful! I'm sure he fluttered back to tell all that he saw you too! |
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