In laws
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Unfortunately(?) I'm not able to sympathize. I am my mother-in-law's favourite. And that's like favourite of all 6 of her kids and their respective spouses.  (I sure hope none of Kim's siblings see this!  ).My parents prefer Kim to me as well, but my parents are crazy.  And Kim doesn't believe it, she believes they secretly want me with someone else.  |
| I'm another lucky one. When I was married (10 years), I got along great with my in-laws. We treated each other with respect and I enjoyed their company. Their other daughter-in-law was psycho so naturally I was the favorite. Unfortunately I think my case was the exception. I hear a lot of horror stories about in-laws. I'm convinced most people are just plain nutz. |
| I get along great with mine as well. Really I do. I just think as people age.... they start forgetting their manners ...forget what it was like to have young children around ...forget how to bite their tongue ...and just get a little crazy in the head about many things they do. So when someone sensible comes around ...they look at us like we look at them  Seriously... we were talking about this the other day (all the kids) ....and our grandparents were all wonderful individuals. Our parents were all even better human beings (morals and people in general). But the grandma didn't get along with the mom. The mom didn't get along with the grandma. So it's no surprise the sil doesn't get along with her mil. The mom doesn't get along with the dil. ....and so forth. Having two lives FORCED to come up with 1 schedule, 1 plan, 1 agenda and goal can be tough esp when women are involved. |
| Unfortunately, there is usually no rhyme or reason. It's like anyone you meet - some will like you, some will grow to like you, and some will never like you - often for reasons that are entirely their own. Chin up, and just let it roll off as much as you can.  |
| You may not be what they wanted, but you are what your husband wanted. While that should be enough, it would help if he were to stand up for you. Beware, my sister-in-law's husband did just that after watching years of rudeness dished to his wife, put his foot down, moved away to another state.........and his own mother disowned him, left her considerable wealth to his cousins. Try to forget (and forgive) them and play extra nice to your husband. |
| Mine dislike me also. My fiance and I got together during a rough patch in his life and some events were blamed on me that I had no control over. They just didn't want to think that he would do it and they needed a scape goat. (They tend to do this with anyone new in the family for the first couple yrs.) They eventually apologized to me (not for a specific thing just sorry) but the tension and disdain is still there. Kill them with kindness and hope that you don't see them too often. It's also your significant others job to keep his family in check. So if they are making your life miserable its his/her job to tell his/her family to keep out of your relationship and to keep their feelings to themselves. The family should be happy that their family member is happy. (Fyi we've been together for 4 1/2 yrs) |
| I wish my in-laws hated me. Instead, they're just CRAZY. Specifically, Jasons mom is crazy. Like capital letters CRAZY. She has a hard time knowing what reality is, and what isn't. Some of the things she's said over the years include: "This lady at church, I think she stole my safe deposit box key. So I went to the bank, and they described her to me, and said she was in my safe deposit box!!" - we found her key at our house recently. "Oh look! Some of our families heirlooms are on the movie set of this movie! (Sherlock Holmes movie, the first one) I bet one of Jasons cousins stole them from my house and let the studio use them, because he lives in California, and he's in the movie business!" - Jasons cousin IS in the movie business. The ADULT MOVIE business, as a grip. (shut up  )The list goes on. She regularly thinks I hate her, when I honestly just try to avoid her 90% of the time. On the other hand, my parents are mostly... live and let live. Heck, I barely see my mom, but she likes Jason, and so does my dad. We just don't see or talk to them much. |
| I'm the second wife and seems the feeling I got from them, especially towards our 3 children, is we are #2 in line. But I thought.....whatever....your loss. Now it's my daughters in laws and how they treat her. She is a stay at home mom and her husband is in the army, a lifer. She has raised the children, moved where he was stationed, kept a home no matter where they lived. They took a short break from having kid inbetween the first 2. So his last deployment she had 2 teenagers and 2 babies at home. His last deployment to Iraq was a chosen time for him, he didn't need to go, but he went. Made me angry to leave her behind with the kids for a year. Of course her inlaws think he is the best. I respect his ambition with the service and his time spent, but I don't respect the husband he has become. Her inlaws interfere with their marriage, especially his younger sister, who he actually takes advice from. They have always critized her spending "his" money foolishly. Never mind that he spends $4.00 every morning for coffee and more at lunch time. So, I guess I just learned to play the game my inlaws play, but I am worried about my daughter and how her inlaws treat her. She lives 1000 miles away from us, so she just can't drive here for a visit. |
reason #54376 to never get married...no in-laws!!!  Thanks for the reminder Honestly, women are almost always at the root of the problem. Even my own mother has turned into a less than wonderful mother-in-law (read: bitch). My sister and brother are both married - I will say I think my brother did GOOD, his wife is a doll, if not a saint, and my sister's husband is the best person he can be under the circumstances, get over it already, Mom Women. What a PITA.  kristine |
| I'm sorry your daughter is going through this. Just be an ear to listen too. Hopefully things will get better for her. I loved my 1st husband's family. They were the greatest It is too bad I lost them in the divorce. My hubby's family didn't like me from the first day I met them on Thanksgiving...an incedent happended that day and so I rarely went back to see them. My parents loved my husband as a son and he had a great relationship with them until they passed. Chuck was very instramental in helping my father in the last 20 mts between my Mom dieing and then my Dad. My Dad felt he could say anything he wanted to Chuck so he got rid of a lot of grief on Chuck's shoulders. Chuck said he never regretted being the sounding board for Dad's grief. Mom would have been proud.  I always tease my daughter-in-law that she has the best mother-in-law because I'm out of state. lol |
| I have a very nice daughter in law and we get along great. I try to be a good in law, but a person can just be pushed so far. My husband lost his parents years ago, so I never knew them. It's just mainly his sister and brother and their attitude towards us. You know the kind.....nicey, nicey to your face..... My sister in law used our 3 kids as her private maid and butlers to do her work, even though she had children and grandchildren to help her. We put a stop to that. It's my husband's side that can be a pain and he thinks the same! I try to be an ear for my daughter and it's hard to stand back sometimes. I have my 17 granddaugher here for a couple of days and she just got here from my daughter's in laws. Will have to reprogram her while I got the chance! You know the old saying "you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your relatives" |
| I always say that I won the lottery when it comes to in-laws. My hubby's family has treated me like one of their own since we met, almost 25 years ago. I have called hubby's parents "Mom" and "Dad" since my marriage, 20 years ago. I love them dearly. My SILs and their hubbies are great too, as well as aunts, uncles, and cousins, and we all enjoy spending time together. (This is a close-knit Greek family. ) I am a lucky, lucky gal. Your daughter sounds like she has been a good partner to her husband, literally holding down the fort when he had to be away on duty. It's a shame that his family cannot seem to appreciate her large contribution to their partnership, and that they see the income as "his" money. He wouldn't be able to earn that money if your daughter weren't home, taking care of everything else, for no pay. It's "their" money, and the in-laws should stay out of it. I hope things get better for everyoen involved. Laurie and Oscar |
| Your daughter sounds like she has been a good partner to her husband, literally holding down the fort when he had to be away on duty. It's a shame that his family cannot seem to appreciate her large contribution to their partnership, and that they see the income as "his" money. He wouldn't be able to earn that money if your daughter weren't home, taking care of everything else, for no pay. It's "their" money, and the in-laws should stay out of it. I hope things get better for everyoen involved. Laurie and Oscar[/quote] That is what I think, too. They can't see anything past his rank and the army. Unfortunately, his rank and the army will not keep him warm in bed when he's 70 years old and without her. |
| I'm like the favorite of the whole family, mostly because I don't think they've had anyone come into their family and be so on their feet. They've dealt with a whole lot of crap with their daughter, and I guess they're just happy they don't have to worry about Jacob because me and him are totally taken care of, whereas his sister is still living at home with three kids and a boyfriend. Her boyfriend isn't getting along so well with them, though. Jacob's dad is a total crazy (I don't like him much at all, but he seems to think I do so whatever), thinks he's always right and whatnot. So no matter what, Sarah's boyfriend is wrong about everything from computers to taking care of his baby. Then Jacob's mom always finds something about him to complain about, and it's silly things, like him not being particularly fond of her cooking. So he's having a rough time, and it's totally not fair. They should be so thrilled that he decided to stay with Sarah and the baby instead of leave like the other two kid's dads did. But no, they pick on him. It's like they want him to leave! He's very determined to stay even with all the crap from them, though. They're actually looking at getting their own place very soon, and we're happy for them! But I think we're the only ones. The in-laws seem to be too concerned that "they don't know what they're doing." Sigh. |
| My mum in law is great - She was not too sure at first as I was half arab but she warmed up to me . My mum can be a nightmare as she moans a lot. If you took her with a pinch of salt she is OK. We all kmow what she is like & just ignore her sometimes |
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