Wow. We just lost Bear
Even with all the pain meds he was on, Bear had a rough time. The vet suggested a specialist that could possibly put him through a long drawn out treatment that, more times than not, ended in the dog dying. I just couldn't put him through it. Bear has always been a neurotic dog and just getting him to walk on certain floors was a challenge, let alone taking him to a strange place to be put through process after process, stressing him out and scaring him, all with the very likely possibility that it wouldn't help. I just couldn't. I feel terrible, like I gave up on him and I should've done more but I couldn't watch him suffer through months of treatment that may not work only to return to a moderately painful existence as it was. I've watched him struggle and shake to walk and I couldn't live with myself to add more to his pain. It was so hard to make the decision to let him go. I'm kind of numb right now. I can't believe we went to the vet thinking a tooth cleaning would solve everything but instead I came home without him. I loved that crazy dog. |
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Jill- so very very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine what a shock that was for you today--going in for what you thought was routine and getting devastating news. Special thoughts for you and your family.  |
| OMG! What a shock! What dreadful news! I think what you did for him was amazing -- not terrible, not giving up -- knowing that trying to keep him around would be miserable for him. You will definitely need time to process his sudden, unexpected loss but please know that you will come to feel that you did the right thing for him. I am sooooooo sorry. What a freak disaster. Sweet neurotic Bear will be missed.  |
| Oh no...so shocked to see this. Jill, I'm so sorry, cant even imagine how hard that decision must have been. My heart goes out to you and all of your household. Bear was special to all of us here on the forum as well, and will be greatly missed. |
I'm in disbelief over the news.... I'm so sorry Jill  |
| Jill, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Bear. What a shocker. I hope you can find peace in his memories soon. |
| I am so sorry for your loss. It happened to my son and daughter in law. She took her dog in just to check out an issue and came home without her. The dog had a tumor around the heart. I can't imagine making a decision like that. So sorry again. |
| Jill, I am so sorry. You know in your heart that you did what was best for him. I can't begin to imagine the shock, but you were there for him, just as you've always been. Kristine |
| So sorry to hear of Bear's passing May your wonderful memories of Bear help you get through this tragic time. |
| I am so sorry for your loss. It is even harder since it was so unexpected. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. Bear will be missed by many. Bonnie/Carley's Mom |
| What a terrible shock, Jill. You really did make the right call for Bear. I know you're hurting but I hope you'll have comfort knowing that. |
| Heartbroken for you. It was so apparent how much you adored that dog. It sounds like you made the right decision, hopefully after the shock wears off you will be able to process that. Sending love to your family. |
| Jill - Jen and I were crushed to hear this. We're sure beyond the shadow of all doubt you made the right choice for Bear and you. May Bear make you laugh and smile in his absence and much as he did in his presence. God speed Bear. God speed buddy. Vance and Jen |
Wow.  What heartbreaking, devastating news. Bear was such a character, and I can't even begin to imagine how painful and hard this has been for you and James. Hugs and prayers being sent as you go through your grieving process. Bear will still be watching over the family, make no mistake about it. And also know that you did the most humane, and ONLY, thing you could have done for him, even though it broke your heart. There is no greater love. |
| Wow, I am so sorry he had to go like that. It's always sad to lose a pet, but when you've got no warning it's just so shocking and you don't have much time to say goodbye. So sorry. Lots of hugs to you |
| I can't even imagine the shock you are in...thinking of you and James at this sad time. |
| Jill, I am so sorry for your loss of Bear. I am dumbstruck by the horrible suddenness and I can't imagine how you are feeling. Bear was a very special honorary sheepie to many of us. I'm so sorry. |
| Jill shock to hear this god bless the big boy bear. Love and hugs to you all at this sad time, bear had a wonderfull life with you all, never doubt that. |
| OMG!!!! Not THE Bear!!!?!!?!? Absolutely speechless right now. I know how you loved that big guy. They definitely broke the mold when they made him. I can't imagine how you'll miss him. Thinking of you and your remaining family of two and four leggers. |
| Want devastating news. I'm so very sorry for your loss of Bear. Cindy |
| I am so very sorry you lost Bear. You are so brave to have made the right decision for him. Hugs to you xx |
| I am so very very sorry for your loss. Bear sounded a lovely doggy and as hard as this is you have made the right decision. God Bless you love from Liz xxx Digby will look after him xxx |
| OH NO! Jill, I'm just devastated for you. I am so very sorry for you and James. Jill, please do not second guess yourself. Any decision you chose was made because you loved him. Only you would have known what was right to do on his behalf to compassionately care for him and spare him further misery, distress and pain. He was very special and he will be missed! I'm so sad. He was a very distinct and memorable soul. |
| Oh no!! Jill I'm so sorry to hear of your devastating news. You loved Bear and did what was best for him. It's such a hard decision!! After making those difficult decisions I felt I waited too long when mine were ill so I really wonder if any of us don't second guess ourselves.' Wishing you happy memories of your gorgeous Bear and a peaceful heart. |
| So sorry to hear this Jill. ITP is a particularly devastaing condition. There is nothing worse than feeling helpless in situations like this. Our dogs are always there for us & when things like this occur, they count on us to make the right decisions for them. You did what was best for Bear & that is the most important thing. He knows it. Hugs to you & the rest of the family. |
ChSheepdogs wrote: So sorry to hear this Jill. ITP is a particularly devastaing condition. There is nothing worse than feeling helpless in situations like this. Our dogs are always there for us & when things like this occur, they count on us to make the right decisions for them. You did what was best for Bear & that is the most important thing. He knows it. Hugs to you & the rest of the family. Marilyn, do you have experience with ITP, too? In the research I did, it came up more than once that it's most common in Old English Sheepdogs. Odd that out of two sheepdogs, the Komondor is the one that ended up with it. |
Oh no! That's so terrible, I loved the stories and pictures of Bear, I would browse your photo library and pore over all the pictures of Bear, Komondor's are possibly the coolest looking dogs in the world, and his pictures with your sheepies and stories of the three of them really made a deep impression on me. I'm so so sorry.  |
| Such shocking, sad news. My heart is aching for you. You made the right choice for Bear. Doesn't make it any easier right now, I know. So sorry. |
ButtersStotch wrote: ChSheepdogs wrote: So sorry to hear this Jill. ITP is a particularly devastaing condition. There is nothing worse than feeling helpless in situations like this. Our dogs are always there for us & when things like this occur, they count on us to make the right decisions for them. You did what was best for Bear & that is the most important thing. He knows it. Hugs to you & the rest of the family. Marilyn, do you have experience with ITP, too? In the research I did, it came up more than once that it's most common in Old English Sheepdogs. Odd that out of two sheepdogs, the Komondor is the one that ended up with it. No first hand expereince with ITP. But being involved in the breed as long as I have, I have been in on health discussions about this condition as well as many others over the years with many breeders. And my vet talks to me about stuff like this too when I am in for well care visits with my dogs. Since he is a breeder also, our regular visits generally are more in depth than the average patient. I think he likes having someone other than the average companion owner to discuss research items with. Auto Immune issues are known in the OES breed as well as some other breeds. No known cause at this time but it appears that something triggers the condition. OESCA has funded research in this area as well as research into treatments that will hopefully lead to dogs that exhibit this condition being able to be on a medication that will allow them to live a realtively normal life. Sometimes this condition can appear in the younger years but mostly it appears after the dog is past the mid point of their life. If they are a dog in a breeding program they might have already been used in breeding. No test for a marker at this point in time. So that means that breeders need to study pedigrees to see what has been produced in the past by other dogs in that pedigree. Not foolproof but the best we can do at this point in time. |
| So sorry to hear about Bear, it was so sudden but you did the right thing for him. It never is easy but when it happens so fast it makes it that much harder. |
| What a shock Bear will be missed. Our thoughts are with you |
A sudden loss, without time to prepare mentally, is quite a shock!! You gave him a great life, defended him from the lady who said you were cruel for leaving his coat in that dreadful condition  not knowing (or caring) it was a Kom. You loved him with all your heart and he knew it......what more can a dog ask? You gave it, an end to his pain (which I'm sure he tried to keep from you). He will be missed.......by all of us. |
| Thank you everyone, it really is amazing how much these comments help. It is such a shock and I still sort of can't believe it happened. This morning I started to get his pills ready and then realized what I was doing. I slept about an hour last night and my face looks like I'm having a severe allergic reaction to something today since my eyes are so puffed up from crying. Even though I feel like we made the right decision, I can't help but continuously beat myself up about it. Having to decide if someone/somedog lives or dies is the hardest thing we ever have to do. Even if it seems right, it's such a "What if...." situation, especially, like in this case, maybe a treatment could've helped, but maybe it would just make for more suffering or do nothing. I feel like I cheated him by not trying but, at the same time, his eyes just looked so tired, and that was what got me. I couldn't push him through blood transfusions and chemotherapy-like treatments when he was already trying so hard just to get through the day as it was. He was doing better on his medication and laser treatments for his mobility but I think we were kind of fooling ourselves about how "good" he was actually doing. He still shook and struggled to get up even on his best days and he couldn't walk more than about 50 feet before he couldn't go on. I'm so sad, I guess I'm just rambling now. |
| Trying hard not to cry, but I agree with the hard decision by making to live/die. After a year I still struggle with it. Bear sounds like Pooh Bear did towards the end especially the getting up and walking. We talked ourselves into "yes, I think he's improving" It was that look of "I'm tired" and "please help" that are hard. Will never forget it. I am sad for you too. |
| Oh no! I am so sorry for your loss. It is very difficult to make the decision, but it was the right one for him. You are a wonderful mom and he is not in pain now. I know this is hard for you and your family. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you |
| I'm so sorry What a terrible shock and sadness. |
| Tears are flowing for Bear and how your heart is hurting right now. Take comfort that Pearl and Coz have met him at the Bridge and they are all running and playing together, painfree, waiting for us. |
| Jill, I am so sorry for your loss and completely shocked like everyone, including you. You saved Bear from months of stress and further pain and released him to run pain free on the other side of the bridge. It doesn't feel like the right choice but you know in your heart he is now pain free. |
| I'm so darn sorry, Jill. Making these decisions are agonizing... but it's got to be about the potential for a quality life. This wasn't something you did "to" Bear... it was something you did FOR him because you loved him. |
ButtersStotch wrote: Even though I feel like we made the right decision, I can't help but continuously beat myself up about it. Jill - those treatments are every bit as hard as your vet warned you. Having gone through this with a friend who almost lost her young, up until then strong bitch and still months into the treatment - and it takes months - was struggling with did she do the right thing? - her poor girl was so beat up in every sense of the word and had little to no quality of life - and almost let her go then. She made it through, but if she relapses...and they easily can....she's already made up her mind she won't put her through that again. It's a personal decision. And dogs can and do survive ITP, especially in its milder forms. But as hard as it is, you have to stop second-guessing yourself. The end result would have almost certainly been the same, except with much more pain and misery in between. You had the strength to spare him that, not an easy thing for most of us to do. Kristine |
| i know youre just screaming inside... what if?? if i... had i...etc... i did the same with panda...and yes, it their eyes..the depth of pain, love and trust that shows in those last moments...you just want to scoop them up and run...run fast, run anywhere, just get away from what youve been told.. my heart aches for you jill....im here for you any and all times... xoxo, me |
Mad Dog wrote: ButtersStotch wrote: Even though I feel like we made the right decision, I can't help but continuously beat myself up about it. Jill - those treatments are every bit as hard as your vet warned you. Having gone through this with a friend who almost lost her young, up until then strong bitch and still months into the treatment - and it takes months - was struggling with did she do the right thing? - her poor girl was so beat up in every sense of the word and had little to no quality of life - and almost let her go then. She made it through, but if she relapses...and they easily can....she's already made up her mind she won't put her through that again. Kristine Kristine, as sorry as I am for your friend, this really does help me feel like I made the right decision. I only knew as much as I could read but didn't actually hear from someone firsthand that had to endure the treatment. The relapse thing was the killer, too. Even if we could get him through once, we knew he'd be disposed to it again. Thanks so much for sharing that. |
| no words can help so very sorry for your loss of bear |
| I'm so sorry for your loss Bear was a wonderful dog. |
| Jill I am so sorry. Your decision to let him go was a measure of how much you loved him. You put his comfort before your desire to hang onto him a little longer. Sending you lots of positive thoughts at this difficult time. |
| It hurts bad to say goodbye. Thinking of you and your family, peg |
| Jill, I am so sorry about Bear. He was a special boy, and losing him so unexpectedly is doubly difficult. Oscar's internist told us that Thrombocytopenia and Immune Hemolytic Anemia are things we should watch for in Oscar, because of his Immune Mediated Disease, but I had no idea this could be an issue with Komondors. Don't know if this helps but I would have made exactly the same call. I feel that quality of life is much more important than quantity of life. With all of Oscar's health issues, he is a terrible patient, and I know that he would have a very hard time handling certain treatments. If Oscar is ever suffering, and it's not something we can cure or mitigate, then I consider it my last act of love and responsibility to let him go. I would not keep him around, suffering, just for me. Oscar deserves better. You did the right thing by Bear. Laurie and Oscar |
| So very sorry for your loss. |
| I am so sorry Jill. That is a horrible disease that I have only recently learned about. I know someone with an OES who goes through this and treatment is also very expensive. You knew your boy and what he could deal with. He is peaceful and pain free now. HUGS!!! |
| So sorry for your loss. He was such a beautiful dog!!! Bear was one of the first inspiration of my dog letterpress series. :( |
| Jill, I am so sorry for your loss of Bear. He was an enormously special dog that will leave a huge void in your life. Just know that he was loved by you, cared for by you, and KNEW that you loved and cared for him. You didn't fail him, you gave him an amazing life and helped him to leave this world with his favorite people near him. I am sorry for your pain and if there is anything I can do let me know. Love, Emily |
| I'm so devastated to hear about your loss; I know you guys loved him so much, and he was just so love-able. Sometimes our fur-kids that have the hardest times are the ones we focus on and get the most invested in- so when they are lost to us, it feels like we let them down. Bear knows you did all you could; and letting him go rather than extend his pain was the right thing to do. I'm so, SO sorry that you all have had to go through this!! |
| I am so sorry. This is so devastating. May your wonderful memories bring comfort to you. |
| What a shock, I am so sorry for your lose. |
| Oh, I'm just stunned. I'm so sorry for you and James. Bear was such a striking dog and you guys did so much for him. |
| Just rading this post now...So sorry about Bear Don't beat yourself up over thinking you should ahve done anything different.... You did what was best for bear. Maybe not what was best for you but you thought of him first...It is any "parent's" obligation to keep their baby out of pain...Thinking of you and sending our thoughts and prayers |
| Oh Jill - Hugs to you! I've been away for a while and just logged on today to catch up and was heartbroken at the news. I felt like Bear was one of my own, getting to know him through your stories and photos. In 2003 (when I was searching for comfort with people who would understand) I found the OES forum as my beautiful Shaggy passed from the same thing as Bear. I understand the heartbreak and sudden shock you must be feeling at his loss. Please know we are here for you. Marianne |
| Sorry that bear has gone & hope he will pass over happy. I think you done the right thing & hope you are OK |
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