Should men always ask and pay for dates?
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| Seems there are a lot of girls on this site I thought I might get a few replies . Is this time for the modern man |
| Guess it depends on whether the guy is happy to be a wall flower or not. That's why women got shirty about not being able to ask, if no one asked them and they couldn't ask the guy then they were stuck. As for the wallet issue ......  for me it depends  Yeah, yeah I'm sitting on the fence. I prefer to pay my share but I always earned my own living so I could afford to. If one of the couple is much better off financially than the other then I think it's a nice gesture if that individual pays no matter what their gender. Depends where you take your beau too. If they aren't flush and you choose an expensive venue then cough up, again irrespective of gender. |
| I'm with Mim, I think it depends on circumstances. Of course, I'm old and married nearly 30 years, and haven't had to deal with the dating questions for eons! |
| more than the cash end of it, is the gentlemanly part...open doors, walk on the outside of the sidewalk, etc...in my opinion, when a guy pays for dinner, he acts a little bit more graciously...i still like to be wooed after 13 yrs of marriage... |
| If it's the first date- I would expect tradition to be in play with the man asking the woman out and then treating her to the events of the date. If a mutual attraction occurred and a second date is in play, then the woman could certainly reciprocate with asking her friend out on a date, planning the date, and treating him to the events of the date. This worked out fine for my husband and I when we started our romance. I earned more at the time and could share the expenses of our dating- I was certainly attracted to him and wanted to let him know that I appreciated him and cared not to take his wallet for a ride. Little to no expense dates can be as fun as a pricey venue. Best wishes with your adventures. |
| The one who does the asking does the paying, at least for the first date. Modern or not, it is nice for a woman to feel as though a man thinks she is worth some effort and spending a few dollars on. Yes, some women (and yes, I was one of them) like to pay their own way. For one thing, that way there is no confusion about what is being paid for and the woman has no obligation towards the man. Now, after being married for a long time, I confess it irritates me if I am the one who has to dig into her purse to pay for the movie or dinner or whatever. It isn't logical in a money sense. Our money is pooled: it's all our money and not his or mine. But it makes me feel like I am his mother or like he just can't be bothered to keep a bit of cash on him for a movie or to make me feel wooed a bit, even if we are married. I tell my sons to pay at least on the first date, unless she insists on splitting the bill. I tell my daughter she should always be prepared to pay and to pay at least her share if it's a first date. |
| A man is a proper lover if he pays an does EVERYTHING for a woman, shows that they are devoted to their wife/girl friend. In my opinion, if a man slacks get rid of him and get some more dogs!  |
Sam I laughed so much. Great comments from a 16 year old. Whip them men if they are tight then bin them for a woffa  |
Well If I offer to take someone out I would pay & Lori has taken me out  as she is a bit tight hehe. I think it depends if you want to surprise the other half and you should make a effort on a few occasions |
| Woman are fickle the Emmeline Pankhurst will be turning in her grave! They want equality - well the bits that suit them anyway, not all of it. Signed A. B. Loke |
Darcy wrote: more than the cash end of it, is the gentlemanly part...open doors, walk on the outside of the sidewalk, etc...in my opinion, when a guy pays for dinner, he acts a little bit more graciously...i still like to be wooed after 13 yrs of marriage... I like that. More and more people that I meet feel the women should pair her equal share which is fine, but I grew up as a southerner... and ALWAYS tried to pay and by all means... paid for many dates (because I truly wanted to), but I would never date a guy who didn't feel it wasn't his obligation to offer to pay. Thankfully I dated the type of guys who felt it was an obligation to pay every single time up until they got married. The guys were upset when I paid, and I always was upset I never got a chance since I wanted them to know I didn't mind (and b/c I wasn't the type to repay them that night in bed), but TRULY INSIDE... they would never get a call back if they didn't get [act] upset. That's just not how I was raised and plan on teaching our boys to pay or become an expert on cheap dates (picnics, lots of stuff free in college towns, etc) and for the girls to look for guys who want to pay but agree they should have money to pay themselves. |
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