The guys will love this:(funny)
1. Men ARE not mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something. Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. |
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I've seen that before, it's cute... |
Did you get this from my boyfriend?  |
| After 36 years with a guy, I know this is all true! Understand this ladies and life will be much easier. |
| I think my husband wrote this! |
| I swear I signed this as part of my pre nup...lol
Just Kidding |
| That's hilarious. I just sent it to my family! |
| Wow... I've have seen some funny woman bashing stuff before... but this sure isn't one of them.
God - it makes me glad to have a semi-feme guy after reading that mean spirited garbage... and it makes me sad to think some guys think that way.  Maybe it's because I was raised with guys and I think somewhat like one - I don't leave hints - I just say what I mean etc etc... but it gets pretty darn irritating to be treated like I do even if I don't.
Ack - I know it's just a joke - but sometimes things just rub me the wrong way.  I love it when guys who have no idea what I'm like just assume I'm so "this way" because I'm a girl - it makes me want to smack em!
P.S. While I do believe that the guy does have some points in this joke - I feel that I wouldn't be the kind to let him sleep on the couch - I would be the one punching him square in the nose with my fist and lock him in the closet... the end. |
| Dr. Phil, please pick up the white courtesy phone.
I do not believe this is woman bashing. it was a joke. and at some point in time your "semi-feme guy " has internally thought of at least some of these. is it sad that I have had my girlfriend tell me I have too many clothes and shoes? |
| I know it is a joke - but I don't think it was funny - just my opinion. |
| P.S. Although it is a woman bashing joke. And I know he probably thinks a couple - even though he isn't so snotty/rude about it. I think a couple things like this too since he is also a bit feme and I am a bit masculine - but that doesn't mean I'm a complete jerk about it. |
| I see nothing bashing in the joke regardless of whether I think it's funny, or whether I've seen it (100 times) before. I see it as a humorous commentary on the differences between the genders.
I see nothing mean spirited in it, either. Which one(s) do you see as either mean spirited or woman bashing, and why? |
| HEHEHEH, I gotta admit I found it pretty funny!!!!!!!! |
| NM, sorry I said anything or if I upset anyone. |
El Gato wrote: and at some point in time your "semi-feme guy " has internally thought of at least some of these.
Lol. I can't even argue with some of them! I think things like this become truer and truer as we get older and older, sad as it is. Or we girls just give up on trying to fight that it isn't true.  It's the differences that make it fun to be with people of the opposite sex. What fun is no challenge? There's nothing worse than someone that agrees with you all the time and thinks exactly the same. I love arguing..so I can use crying for blackmail purposes later.  |
Integra Hellsing wrote: NM, sorry I said anything or if I upset anyone. Didn't upset me, I'm just curious as to why you'd find it offensive. Maybe I'm being insensitive.
"Enquiring" minds want to know.... |
| It made me LOL Reminds me of the song "The Truth about Men". Maybe it's an age thing, the older you get the more humor you find in stuff like that. |
ButtersStotch wrote: I love arguing..so I can use crying for blackmail purposes later.
EVIL!!!!! |
| AND IT WORKS!!! |
| Not to worry Integra, you're young and still idealistic. Us aged ones are a bit jaded by life and experience so we find things funny that your generation may not. |
| Who you calling aged? I'm 32 and have been for 20 years |
| HEHEHEHEHE If the Birthday cake fits, eat it!! |
El Gato wrote: ButtersStotch wrote: I love arguing..so I can use crying for blackmail purposes later. EVIL!!!!! Yes, I'm definitely a woman through and through... |
| HA HA ITS ALL TOO TRUE....I ADMIT IT...HOWEVER...I WONT CHANGE AND NEITHER WILL MY HUSBAND, THATS WHAT MAKES IT FUNNY....I JUST WISH HE WOULD STOP COUNTING HOW MANY PAIRS OF SHOES I HAVE ( HE THINKS HE HAS ME ON A BUY ONE PAIR GET RID OF ONE PAIR SYSTEM.....HA!!!)
DARCY |
| Darcy, the trick is you leave all shoes in their boxes, when you buy a new pair you just stick the box on the shelf. When you wear the shoes and he says "new shoes?' you say nahhhhhhhhhh, just had em in a box in the closet |
| This works...YOUR mother bought them for me, I have to wear them or I'll hurt her feelings. Or this..these old things, I found them in a box in the basement. |
| I have to agree I think it's an aged thing or how many years we've been married to get the funny part.
I am so guilty of so many things, that's what makes this funny. It's defintely not bashing women, it's making light of our differences. |
Daisie wrote: I have to agree I think it's an aged thing or how many years we've been married to get the funny part.
I am so guilty of so many things, that's what makes this funny. It's defintely not bashing women, it's making light of our differences. I think it's a how long you've been married thing, lol I'm only 25, but I've been married for 6.5 years. My hubby definitely does, and at least, thinks most of these things! I think it's funny. Besides, it works both ways. Us women have things we say about men too...hehe And just for the record, my hubby has more clothes and shoes than I do! He also must think shopping is a sport, because he can spend hours shopping for himself...especially in video or computer stores (and toys since we have kids now). lol He's reliving his youth.  |
Tasker's Mom wrote: Darcy, the trick is you leave all shoes in their boxes, when you buy a new pair you just stick the box on the shelf. When you wear the shoes and he says "new shoes?' you say nahhhhhhhhhh, just had em in a box in the closet
Lol. I keep mine in the trunk of the car and smuggle new ones in when he isn't home. I have so many that he never knows the difference. The worst part is, I even agree I have way too many-- I just can't stop. I have EVERY closet filled. Last summer I gave 108 pairs to the Salvation army and, at last count, I still have almost 450. Of wait, I just bought 3 pairs last week and ordered a pair on the internet too so add those on too. Handbags are the same way... |
| Yeah we just passed 7 years in March...hubby and I know each other so well.
He puts up with my selfishness and I put up with channel surfing...it's who we are why change it. |
| BUTTERSTOTCH...WOW YOU ARE MY SHOE HERO!!!!! MY HUSBAND IS A FIREMAN WORKS FOR 24HRS AT A TIME....THATS WHEN NEW EVERYTHING COMES IN THE HOUSE....WHEN HE ASKES IF "IT" IS NEW, I USUALLY POUT AND SAY...."YOU NEVER NOTICE THINGS ANYMORE...IVE HAD THIS FOR A WHILE" ITS WORKED SO FAR, BUT I KNOW ILL GET CAUGHT SOON....I DO BELIEVE THAT YOUR SHOES NEED TO MATCH THE OUTFIT HENCE THE MILLION PAIRS OF SHOES.....DSW IS MY IDEA OF SPA DAY |
| Don't let him read this forum.... |
| I have reported all of you to your husbands/boyfriends.
Now back to rearranging the closet so I can fit MY new shoes in! And where can I hide this new DVD player? |
450 pairs of shoes  OH MY, you are my hero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| RON---BRIAN IS AN EBAY ADDICT...DONT HAVE TO WORRY, BESIDES I USE MY COMPUTER AT WORK NOT HOME....HE'LL NEVER KNOW
DARCY |
| I used to be a shoe freak. I'd go shopping with one of my friends and we'd try to see who could find the best deal. Once she got a really cute pair of yellow sandals for 79 cents! She still holds the title with that one! Right now, I'm a lamp freak. We've been doing some redecorating and in one week I bought 4 lamps for the living room. When I walked in the door with the last one, my husband said, "You need help....." I don't think he meant carrying in the lamp, either! For a while, I was into TVs. We have one in every room of the house, all 3 bedrooms, the rec room, the basement, and the kitchen. The living room doesn't have one yet, but there is a TV armoire on order so you know what I will get next! I also have a thing about phones but you need a phone in every room of the house. I know I don't sound like it but, really, I'm pretty practical. Just sometimes, I see a little lamp I really like, or a room without a phone, or, worse yet, without a TV................... |
SheepieBoss wrote: After 36 years with a guy, I know this is all true! Understand this ladies and life will be much easier.
We've been married for 36 years. "Women Bashing" -no way. Just another humorous look at the truth. The faults in both men and women. When I read it, I seen it from the woman's side of view about men. Guess you just have to have a few years experience under your belt to appreciate it. After all of the hard knocks in life, a little humor is nice. If you really read it, it will help you understand the opposite sex a little better. lol |
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