No friends vs. bad friends
1. Which is worse, having no friends, or having the wrong friends (friends that are toxic, that you don't like, who don't like you) 2. Has there ever been a time in your life when you had NO friends? By NO friends, I mean nobody. Nobody to talk to at the end of the day, nobody to share stories with, nobody to email... |
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| Reminds me of a line in a song I really like ("Best of Times" by Sage Francis): "It's better to have pressure from peers than to not have peers" (of course, like any aphorism, doesn't hold up in all situations, e.g. it's not good if the peer pressure is to do heroin or something  )I would think the best course of action is to make new friends! |
Paula O. wrote: Nobody to talk to at the end of the day, nobody to share stories with, nobody to email... Isn't that what Sheepies are for?  Although, Izzie still hasn't accepted my facebook friend request  |
| While the kids were growing up, I had many friends through all the kids activities. Some were toxic, some were not. There was a time after the kids moved out that I had no friends, unless you count my hubby. For many years, I went to work, came home, spent time with the kids and grandkids. When Heart came, I was lucky to find a couple of great friends through The OES Club here. And even though I have never met most of you here, I really feel I have made some true friends here on the forum~~ About a year and a half ago I found 2 friends from highschool on FaceBook. We had lost contact for about 20 years, but when we met for dinner for the first time, it was as if it was only yesterday. I am proud to say, I am old enough and smart to remove myself from anyone who is difficult and not a real friend. I consider YOU are real, true friend, Paula!!!!!  |
| Can't tell if it's because I'm older and don't want my time spent with people who like drama in their lives or not...I think people are very much about "me" today and complain about nothing more...30 years of teaching...parents use to back the teacher...today they want the teacher to raise their child...call them everyday, tell them about every grade etc...they don't trust the child to tell them anything and today everything is the teachers fault...times that times 125 kids a day for only 55 minutes a day each! After retiring 4 years ago I don't want too many friends...life is simpler with one or two and my sweet doggies! My daughters inlaws are tiring. Jealous because I watch granddaughters when they are sick...won't leave their house but expect granddaughters be brought to them...make drama over every holiday because daughter invites us all to her house so little ones can have naps..they refuse to come if we are there...don't want to share kids...want us to sit alone Thanksgiving and Christmas and daughter go to their house 45 minutes away...we lost one daughter at 19 and they have a son and daughter. Last year they didn't speak to daughter for 2 months because she wanted to stay home and invited all of us for dinner at her house...they started it up again this year again! They don't really care about being with loved ones...they want it their way without my husband and I around! I think it's because they want drama and their son to choose them over his wife. Just selfish, self absorbed people. They could care less what's best for children...it's all about them. These are people who live at their church for past 35 years yet they have always been anything but welcoming to others including family. We tried the first 4 years to go out of our way to be welcoming and nice but we are done...we'll be at daughters house for dinner and it's their loss...girls at 3 and 15 mths are so precious to be with on a holiday. Worst part is they don't mind going to their daughters house who doesn't have kids...just not their son's house. Lots of people are difficult these days...better to stay away from there and invest time with good people who care about others. Animals are so much easier...they require love, food and security and return their love without conditions. I would find one or two friends to be with and loose the others. |
just be glad you don't have to suffer fools and keep enemies close. they are experts at avoiding the holes in the floor with the throw rug over them and the yard pits with tarp and leaves for cover.   |
| I love what Amanda said. Never completely alone when you've got a doggie! I hope this isn't how you're feeling Paula  It's hard to recognize good friends. ...and even those good friends can sometimes prove to be other than that. I definitely hang onto those one of a kind friends, but the others have always at some point let me down, did something I wouldn't do to a friend, etc. I guess having that one of a kind friends makes it easier to forgive those not so great friends. they have their part in my life so I wouldn't want to be w/o them personally. Of course it depends on what they did!! |
This issue was on my mind alot today. I fell out with a friend at work and she has not spoken to me all week. And I had a great week! The space away made me realize that I always left her company feeling inadequate and horrible about myself and my life. It kind of hit me that bullies can sometimes be your friends! So I am one 'friend' down and a whole wack of self esteem up this week!  |
| Thank you for the kind thoughts Mrs J. I'm very lucky that I DON'T feel that. But I was thinking about people and friends and how hard life would be if there were no friends in my life. That segued into "bad vs. none." More of a philosophical musing.... |
| I have been blessed to have about 6-7 people in my life that I consider true friends. The kind that would never think twice about dropping everything & traveling to me if I needed them & visa versa. A few of them are what I call age old friends. We met in 1st or 2nd grade & have been either best or great friends ever since. A couple of good friends I met when my kids were young. And the rest are good friends I met once I started showing dogs. But the funny thing is, I've often said that once I retire don't be surpised if I become a hermit! People that spend time with me find that hard to believe but it's true! |
| I would rather have no friends than friends I can't trust or are "bad" friends! I have alot of "friends" so to speak...BUT I can count on one hand the real friends I have. And I may not see them all the time, but when I do, its as if time never passed. I love them, I trust them, we have lots of memories together and if I called them tomorrow after not seeing them for months, they would be right by my side if I needed them. That to me is true friendship! |
| Because of my work I am very fortunate to have a lot of caring people in my life. I have a few really good friends--those that would do anything for me and vice versa. The older I get the more I do not mind eliminating those people who create drama-or just plain don't care about you- except for what you can do for them. I enjoy my acquaintances but really cherish the good friends.  |
| Other than family, I have nobody I talk to with any regularity. I had a best friend for 34 years. We grew up together and went to school together. We had a major falling out and since then I have realized life is too short. I got tired of pretending I didn't know she lied- and often. I got sick of arranging my life for her convenience. I loved and treated her daughter like my own, and will never understand how she could suddenly let her daughter treat me like she did (cut me from her life and I still don't know why). I was willing to put my friendship on the line to save her daughter from a terrible situation, knowing I could lose my friend for good- and I did. And I do not regret it. Not for a minute. In the end it did not help her daughter, and I did lose my friend. I think life it just too short to "put up" with people who really aren't true friends. Now, having said that... If my old friend or her daughter called me, no matter the hour, I would be there in a heartbeat if they needed me no matter what. And maybe that's why I don't have friends. I expect the same kind of loyalty that I give. I don't know many people like that. Oh well- I still have ya'll  Shellie |
back to the fuzzies, most loyal friends on the planet.  |
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