I'm feeling depressed
Well we went down Friday for Thanksgiving, Sat evening about 8:30 he was outside and he barked a few times, not many but all of a sudden it got fast and furious. I went out to get him and here was the neighbor, a very large man with long dark hair and a full beard who doesn't walk, he lurches, standing there with a very bright flashligh aimed right at Butch. I went to get Butch in and Butchy was very upset, this guy didn't say anything to me, just stared, Carl went out as soon as he realized what was going on. He asked Carl how "long are you people here for, you were here for three wks and went home and now you're back and you're dog barked at me. I had to go out to my truck four times with my flashlight and he barked every time, I should be able to go out to my truck and not have the dog bark at me." Carl apologized and explained we live in the country and he doesn't see a lot of people and when he does he gets excited and barks and that we were trying not to let him do that and brought him in if he started. Well, that didn't satisfy him and Carl said did you try to make friends with him, the fella next door came over and made friends, Butchy barked but then he finally calmed down. (He seems more leery of men and I don't know if someone mistreated him before we got him at three months old or he just takes a while to warm up to them) So this fella says "I waved at him and said Hi Doggy". and he barked Didn't think that would quite do it but that might be me. He just kept saying same things over and over and how he has a friend on a farm that has six dogs that never bark, ever, and he thought Butch should be muzzled but he didn't want Carl to beat him. Like that would ever happen but it was a very unerving experience and he then complained that Butch was barking in the house. Carl asked him what he thought he was going to do, he was hollering at Carl and Butch was uneasy as it was. Carl finally told him let's end this now before somethng is said that shouldn't be. My daughter was very upset and went trotting over there, all 5'2" and 120# maybe of her, and told him his attitude was not acceptable, she asked him what Butch did when he said Hi doggy. He said he barked, she said guess what dogs don't speak that's how they communicate. She said get used to it because her parents can come down anytime they want and he's coming along. He then said he could get his decibile reader and show that his bark reached 150 decibles. He does have a girly bark and it can be shrill when he barks in our ears but would it be that high? We have always tried to teach our kids to be respectful and that goes for the fur-kids too. I don't want him to be a nuisance but he is a dog and dogs bark. I know the neighbor has complained about a gal across from Dee's place that has three dogs but everytime she sees him she ducks inside, he is intimidating. Think this reads kind of choppy but trying to remember it all plus the fact that we don't like confrontations and it pretty much took the fun out of the wk makes it rather difficult to explain. It did give us something to talk about tho. |
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| Don't let one grumpy guy ruin your otherwise lovely time with your family! I do love the image of your small daughter standing up for her parents! You know how you said that you didn't know what might have happened to Butchy in his first 3 months before you got him and you wondered if that made him a bit nervous around men? Well maybe this man had bad experiences in his life that made him nervous around people. It doesn't excuse his bad behaviour, but when someone is a jerk to me, I try to think that maybe this person did not have a good family to help teach them how to behave and how lucky I am that I did have such a family. Again, it doesn't excuse the guy, but it might help you get past the nasty encounter. Not easy to do, though, as I too find confrontations really upsetting and can dwell on them long after the other person has forgotten I even exist! |
Well, the man is an ass, sorry, but he is. HOWEVER, visiting your daughter gives you a great opportunity to socialize with men. It's HIGHLY unlikely he was abused - less secure dogs almost always find men more intimidating. Size? Smell? Timbre of voice? I don't know, but I see it all the time. Also if they were not socialized to men - I'm single and female and when I have to litter I become an embarrassment recruiting men to meet my puppies....if not for the fact that most are married to friends they'd probably think I was hitting on them or something   Obviously this person is not going to be helpful, but if Butchy likes food, recruit as many men as you can and give them cookies ahead of time and have them give him a cookie. If only a little wary, they can ask him to sit and then feed him. If more wary, just don't look at him and slip him a cookie when he shuts up, if really wary, start by having them toss a cookie to him, sideways, without looking at him. I worked with one bitch who was afraid of men and within months I couldn't walk her in a public area because everytime she saw a man she thought food! and tried to molest them. She moderated over time when she realized men aren't puppy pez machines, but she still had a soft spot for them - this is something you can work on very easily and the results are so gratifying. That said, my girls love men - boy dog, too - and most would still alarm bark if they saw some strange guy. Then they'd butt wiggle and try to climb in his lap  But it really isn't a doggie faux paw to let owner know there's a stranger around. On the flip side they should be quiet immediately upon being told to do so. Another thing to work on, is all.Apparently neighbor is just a grinch. Pity for him. How much more fun if he'd make friends with the dog, but some people are just like that and two-leggeds are notoriously harder to train than the four legged variety  Understand you're upset, but you have it perfectly within your power to change how Butchy views the world. By the way if you're down this way two weekends from now there will be a bunch of OES entered at an agility trial in Milwaukee. Consider stopping by. Kristine |
Mad Dog wrote: Well, the man is an ass, sorry, but he is. HOWEVER, visiting your daughter gives you a great opportunity to socialize with men. Understand you're upset, but you have it perfectly within your power to change how Butchy views the world.  Good post, Kristine. |
| Tell the old man that dogs bark...get over it. |
| That is upsetting. On the one hand, it is a good sign that he said hi to your dog but of course the dog is going to bark if a stranger approaches him. I worry a bit about your saying the man is intimidating. You want to make sure he doesn't have the chance to do anything to your dog. I live in a fairly dense neighborhood and most neighbors without dogs don't appreciate dog barking. I always call mine in from the backyard or away from the door/window and reward them with a treat to stop them when they start barking. I don't mind the alert but I don't let them carry-on because I know my neighbors would grow to hate it. Mine have learned to stop and come quickly for their reward. I tend to think for his own safety your dog probably shouldn't be outside unsupervised, particularly at night. It is very unsettling to have someone who seems hostile toward your dog. I hope he was just trying to give you some (unwanted) advice and not going to cause trouble. Sounds like you all handled a tense unexpected situation with maturity. That's hard to do. |
| Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I would want my dog to bark if a strange man approached him in the dark. It sounds like you are doing all of the responsible things when he does begin to bark, like shaking the can, or bringing him in the house. We taught Oscar a "quiet" command (index finger to our lips), which works well too. If he is truly wary of all men, and you want to change that, I like Kristine's idea of positive reinforcement, and having men give Butchy treats. But personally, I think it's okay if a dog doesn't take to everyone. Laurie and Oscar |
| Ignore him, it sounds like he is a crazy anyways. I'm glad that lily barks if she can't identify who it is, she barks til she knows they are a friend or they become a friend. If your worried about it do some training with positive renforcement. I just wouldn't start with the big crazy dude. If it were me I would rather my dog not like someone like that. |
| I could be crazy, but I think I would talk to the local police. Just give them a heads up on the situation and express your concern about this guy going a little over the top ... measuring decibels? really? I would be concerned for the dogs safety. He sounds really odd and I would want to do something proactive. That way if an incident does arise, they know a little about what is going on.  |
Valerie wrote: That is upsetting. On the one hand, it is a good sign that he said hi to your dog but of course the dog is going to bark if a stranger approaches him. I worry a bit about your saying the man is intimidating. You want to make sure he doesn't have the chance to do anything to your dog. Amen!Valerie wrote: I live in a fairly dense neighborhood and most neighbors without dogs don't appreciate dog barking. I don't like constantly barking dogs or long barking either, and I own a dog and live in a kind of sparsely populated area. Valerie wrote: I don't mind the alert but I don't let them carry-on because I know my neighbors would grow to hate it. Exactly how I feel about my own dogs AND my neighbors' dogs. When the neighborhood dogs bark it echoes around the kind of valley we're in. |
| Guy sounds like a bit of a nut. Be careful with him around...measuring deciphels? Now THAT is wierd... I'm not thinking your dog was wrong here. A big strange man with a light right into his eyes would look threatening to a dog and they are supposed to bark at something like that in my opinion!!! Just be very careful this guy doesn't do something to hurt Butch. I would not let Butch out without supervision while there.... Maybe for christmas you can send the guy some ear plugs |
| We don't let him bark for any length of time, we watched him closely and don't leave him out there without supervision, for some reason this time it went a little longer than usual and yes, I am aware he might do something, we are careful with Butchy. I don't like non-stop barking dogs either and the ones behind my daughter's house do bark for quite a while, no one brings them in quickly and if hears them he barks. We are on top of that and he comes in. I do think if someone comes to the door it's not bad to have a dog on alert but again I don't want him in a barking frenzy. It only seems to be some men and if the male knows how to approach a dog he relaxes and then they're friends but the treat aspect is a good idea except if you have someone like this person who may not be throwing a good treat so that is another worry. The week before we had the Direct T.V. installer here, let him in the house and Butch was fine, not a bark nothing so I don't know what his issue is. Something we will work on and we will be going back for Christmas, will have him in the back yard with one of us right there and hopefully there will be no more instances. Dee's neighbor is in for a surprise tho, Dee plans on getting a dog at some point and I imagine he/she will bark once in a while too. We did manage to take Butchy to the dog park again, he was great. He got in one girl's face and she let him know that wasn't acceptable, he backed right off and went about his business. Her mother started to apologize and we said no, he got in her face. He met some other dogs and they ran and raced and no problems what so ever so I know he can get along well with other animals. |
This guy sounds like quite the piece of work....  For your own piece of mind and potentially Butchy's safety, I agree you should be out there with him. It's too bad there are people like that, but sadly there are.  |
| Maybe that guy needs to meet an attack dog, then he might have something to complain about! As for having a friend on a farm? with an attitude like his I doubt he'd have any friends. |
| When you're there, make sure Butchy is NEVER left unattended. Remember the story I told you guys about the Alaskan Malamute that was killed with a flashlight by the crazy neighbor? We don't want that to happen to Butchy. This dude sounds like a nut job. Butchy can probably sense something about him and that's why he's barking at him. Keep Butchy away from him. I remember at the OES Nationals in Rochester in 2010. We went out to dinner on Thursday night at the Mexican restaurant. We (myself, Judi, Dawn, Steph, and some others) were sitting outside with the dogs. Many people had been coming up to us inquiring about the dogs and wanting to pet them. All the dogs behaved admirably. Then that creepy dude stepped out from behind the side of the building, in the shadows. Brick went bananas. The guy looked like he was high on something. Face all red, eyes large & glassy. I'm sure Brick sensed something wasn't right with this guy and was essentially warning him to go away & protecting us at the same time. |
| Thanks for all your imput, don't worry, Butchy will not be left alone. He wasn't, we could see him it was just all of a sudden this occured. He only barked a couple times befor the jerk came lurching over and I'm sure there is something about him that the dog doesn't like. |
| I'd tell him, just like I told my son's 3rd grade teacher: Did he bite you? No? Well then, get a grip - it could be worse.  (Actually I'd just tell him the dog is doing his job and he should just back off, lest he get so upset that he breaks free.) Shellie |
| Hopefully the guy got the message and won't disturb your future visits. CamVal1 wrote: I'm sure Brick sensed something wasn't right with this guy and was essentially warning him to go away & protecting us at the same time. I agree. We had a drywall guy when we remodeled our bathroom that Chauncey did not like or trust. This was the only person that has ever bothered him. Chauncey would not go near him and kept a close eye on him. |
I agree there was something not right with this guy DUH  Do not leave him outside alone. this guy seems like a nut ..... |
| I've come to the discussion late, but it sounds if this guy is a nut case. I've had three friends whose dogs have been poisioned after issues with crazy neighbors about barking. Once your dog is harmed, the cops can't do anything without witnesses and they spend zero time investigating beyond writing a report. Mole poision in ground beef meatballs are easy to toss right to your dog, will be gone in a flash and can have serious if not deadly consequences. I'm not sure what state your in, but here in CA it's mole poision and antifreeze that can injure and kill. The other stuff dogs seem to be able to pull through on because we've watered down all our paint thinners, insect/rodent poisions, etc.. But my vet tells me the half life of mole poision (mole eats poision, then your dog eats the mole) will cause a serious if not lethal condition. If it were me, I would apologize profusely to this freak and thank him for pointing out the disturbance. In other words, make him feel like a hero. He may deserve the worst possible treatment, but your dog doesn't, so you have to do everything that can be done to keep your dog safe. And getting this guy focused on something else is just the best possible thing for you all. If it were me, there would be no circumstance where my dog would be in the front or backyard without constant supervision. Besides, your dog likes being with you. Wish I had better news. |
| What Kristine said! But I will add that if some strange dude was shining his torch at me and staring I'd bark too, a lot.  |
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