My Horrible Teen
I think most parents have experienced that horrible teen age, not ours when we were perfect 
...I mean our kids! The wonderful little boy that in the past would greet me with dandylion bouquets and think I was the best, changed into what resembles an alien in my house. The battles for power ,remind me of the dogs and who would emerge as Alpha. Luckily, I know in most cases it's the older female member that does! Whew!!  The challenges wear me down of course and we've been at odds with each other for some time.
My son just got a job, 2 wks ago at a Glass company. Works 3 pm to 1:30 am and has Friday, Sat and Sunday off. The shift is 10 hours so the guys get an extra day off. He thinks this shift is wonderful! From a moms point of view...it's horrible! I don't arrive home until 3 pm, so we miss each other daily until he arrives home. I do wait up for him when he arrives at 2 am, even tho I have to be up at 6:30 am. He tells me he is not a baby and don't wait up for him. I tell him it's written in the mothers rule book that I still need to check with him as to how his day went. We fought about this too. Although the mothers rule book states that no matter what age..mothers always continue to worry. 
I realized he wasn't getting hot meals as the work location is in an industrial area and he was hungry when he returned home. He doesn't drive but the forman drives him to and fro. I started making hot meals at 1:30 am...he grumbled about that..but I knew he was secretly happy. My friends thought I was nuts..telling me he just turned 18, a big boy, I should just go to bed. Nope, like a fool I was cooking full meals at that hour but it gave me a chance to chat as he ate..."How was your day?". Over the course of the last week, something changed, he started chatting to me about his goals and aspirations, the people he worked with, the job, his intention of saving the 25,000 needed to attend a specialized program in computer animation. I always knew that was his goal but it was far too much for me to afford to send him on my own. It changed me too, although I still showed up at school with bags under my eyes, people started saying I looked more youthful the last couple weeks..happier. Maybe staying up until 2 am isn't so bad!! Tonight he called me on his break,"Mom can you come and see me at my job?" I just about died!! I immediately jumped into the car and was greeted by him when I pulled into the parking lot. He introduced me to all the guys he worked with and then said, I'm buying you the windows you wanted for the house on my next paycheck and points to a fellow who is going to install them. Then he goes on to tell me, "Please pick the glass design of your choice". Finally, those horrible brown 70ish windows in the front above the door and the sidelights are going to be replaced. Has been on my wishlist for ages if I had the cash. More importantly, I realize my horrible teen....isn't so horrible after all. I just returned home from visiting him and probably can shed a tear or two. He's going to turn out all right I'm thinking. 
Thanks for letting me share. Marianne and the boys |
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| Awwwwwwww... better than a sheepie story!!!
Way to go Mom! |
awww...that's such a sweet, sweet story. What a good son you've raised. 
I wish we could stop time sometimes. Children grow up way too fast! |
| That is so wonderful!!!!!!! |
| Marianne,
I loved reading this!! It makes me realize how fast they grow up, and how fast they change. He will always be your baby, no matter how old he gets. He sounds like a wonderful young man!! Big hugs, you did a great job!! Stormi and co. |
| Hi,
Thanks for all the kind comments. Reason I feel soooo happy is that for the past two years - we've been at odds with each other. I wasn't thinking I didn't do a good job and in fact was always berating myself...that I did something wrong. Yikes, Mothers Guilt is such a powerful thing..always second quessing ourselves! Tonight was such a eye opener ..that despite our past battles there still lurked within that horrible teen...my son. 
Yeah there is light at the end of the tunnel! 
Marianne |
| Marianne,
Hang in there. Been there done that; could write a book about my Gerry. You're doing everything right. Trust your gut. By the time he's 25 you'll be the proudest mom in the world. Right now he's finding himself and needs your stable guiding light. I'm so proud of his love for you. |
| Marianne,
There's a lesson here, teens really do listen ! You have to be very proud of him, what a thoughtful son to honor you by having you select the new glass windows. He is growing into a caring, responsible young man! He learned that lesson from a Mom who shows him daily what love ,caring and responsibility is. He will excell in whatever career he choses... Big hug to you Marianne, great job!! Best wishes to you both !!! |
| Marianne,
Isn't it a great feeling when you actually get a response from your child? Keeping the lines of communication open is critical, and also your showing him how much you love him by making him a hot meal at 2 AM probably made him think more about you. What a great kid! Ya done good, Mom! Enjoy your new windows! And enjoy your son! Chris |
| AWWWWWWW! It's moments like that that really make up for the difficult ones. My daughter is 20 now and as the saying goes, it's amazing how much smarter I've gotten in the last year or so!!! She was the truly the teenager from H@$$ and as a single Mom there were times that I really thought we weren't going to make it. But in the end they do emerge as the wonderful marvelous creatures you always knew they could be!! |
| Lol. I was that daughter from hell. I think I nearly gave my mother several heartattacks-- I could tell stories... but I won't! Now I'm all grown up, finished college, will finish my master's degree next week, I have my own house, have a good job and, get this, love spending time with my mom. I have to say, if someone was as rotten as I was to her growing up, I'm not sure I'd still even talk to me. Now we have a great relationship and everything turned out great. |
| Somehow we mothers doooooo recover!!!! I'm sure she is incredibly proud of you now!! |
| What a sweet story, it sounds like he has grown up to be a wonderful young man, good job Marianne!
That is so hard to do these days, raise a caring, compassionate, respectful, ambitious human being. Society intereferes so much now that I wonder how much influence I have left on my children, how many lessons they will learn from our lives will be good ones, and how many will not, as well as what they learn from society itself. I've come to the conclusion all that anyone can do is their best, what they think is best at the time, and hope it all works out in the end. |
| Marianne,
congratulations- I beleive you(and your son) have just made your first steps from the teen "mom knows absolutely nothing about anything" stage, to the "mom is the most astonishingly intelligent person I've ever know, how in the world does she do it!" stage! Speaking as a mid 20 something- I know that in my late teens I suddenly realized that my parents, while certianly not the paragons I thought they were as a child, were faaaar smarter than I had given them credit for in my teens. So hang in all you parents of teens- It gets better, I promise (as long as you can successfully deal with the thought of your precious child as an adult! My dad kept saying he wasn't ready yet!) Karen |
| I was a horrible teen too and I'll tell you there is nothing worse than daughter's guilt, except mother's guilt! (because now I am a mother too)
I think that's terrific that your boy is growing up so nicely, you've got to be brimming. What a nice young man. Just goes to prove the effort is never wasted, they are watching, listening, and learning all the time, even when they are 18! (It took me until 29 to come around. I had just given birth to my son and was in the hospital, my mother came rushing in after driving the fastest 5 hours known to man to get to my bedside, I saw the look on her face, and overwhelmed with all of the gravity of now being a mother myself I burst into tears and said "I am soooo sorry for all of the horrible things I did!" - I WAS too, it finally had hit me!) Thanks for your story- it made me feel good. Up. |
| Makes all the bad times seem a little less bad doesn't it! |
| I come from a family of 6. Five girls, one boy. My brother was the youngest of us by 8 years. He put my parents through more in one year than all five of us combined did in our entire lives. He grew up to be a nice, polite person, but we all had our doubts. Just when you want to strangle them they do something so sweet you want to cry. |
| What a great story, Marianne! I'm so happy for you. |
| Gosh you guys...sniff sniff!. We have a 16 1/2 and a 14 year old. Some days are tough. Others are wonderful. It makes me look forward to my children's twenties. I am enjoying them now though...for the most part they are wonderful. What great stories and what great parents. Why of course they are...they are sheepie lovers. |
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