Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Showdogs
ANGULATION - Degree to which dog handlers will bend over backwards to impress the judges. BALANCE - How to arrange the checkbook so your husband won't know how much money you spent on dog shows last month. Usually done in the bathroom with the door locked. BITCH - A. Name for a lady dog. B. Name often overheard at dog shows, not always to describe a lady dog. COAT - The hairy covering of a dog that usually falls out about one week before the Specialty show. DAM - A. A lady dog with children. B. Expression frequently overheard at dog shows as losers leave the ring. ELBOW - Method of getting to ringside when late. EXPRESSION - "Sweet" look adopted by dogs while staring ravenously at chunks of liver. FANCIER - Degree to which some gentlemen handlers dress more than others. FEATHERING - What winners are accused of doing to judges' nests. FRONT - Part of the dog often stacked toward the outside of the ring. HEEL - A. You feel like when your dog beats the one you had just sold to eager novice. B. Expression often screamed to attract the attention of deaf dogs. HEIGHT - As in "Maximum Allowed," a measurement which all champions fall under by AT LEAST 1/8 inch. HOCK - A way of financing your dog shows by the use of jewelery such as wedding rings. KENNEL - Where you go when the kids fight and your husband yells at you. LITTER - Trash left all over the building and parking lot after a dog show. MASK - What to wear when you have to show the pet you sold six months ago. MUZZLE - What to put on your kids at a dog show to prevent them from calling your competition what they overheard you call him last night. NOSEPRINTS - Cute marks left all over your French doors. OUTCROSSING - What your husband tells the minister you are doing out in the kennel with the dog and the bitch. POINTS - Minute, invisible awards for winning which you cannot convince your spouse are more important than cash prizes. PUPPIES - Small, dog like food-processing machines with the ability to stink up an entire house and collectively deafen a band of magpies (These creatures have not yet been perfected, as they come with a leaky system, and can also be dangerous to weak hearts and bank accounts.) |
|
|
| And I guess "Stack" refers to the amount of money you spend on dog shows? |
 That made my day! Thanks |
| I've seen another version of this...lol... wish I could find it now.... |
| My Sister in Law sent this to me but I just realized it only goes to letter "P". I wonder what happened to the rest of the alphabet. |
| I thought "front" meant going to Petsmart to buy 2 cans of food (when you had many at home, but you are "out") only to buy the newest doggie gizmo advertised! |
Didn't find exactly what you're looking for? Search again here:
Custom Search
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|