The Best Gift of All
 Some time ago I worked daily with a child with autism. I loved him like my own child although it took aprox a year for him to trust me and for me to grow to love him. He often fired me. Then again, he'd also fire the principal of the school I worked at. I hadn't realized the extent of the teasing he endured at this school for many years. Not the children he grew up with as they knew of his disability. It was the younger kids on the playground. They tormented him and he would retaliate by screaming and throwing rocks. He would be seen by the supervision aids and brought in to the principal. He was unable to articulate what really happened. His parents were called and he would be sent home. One day he was so angry as I got a call from his teacher to remove him from her classroom. He charged me like a bull and the PE teacher who grabbed him from behind got a kick in the groin for his trouble. Next, came the vice principal who reached out to grab him and had his glasses and a bruised nose in the process. 10 years old and he took us all down. People wondered how I could work with this child but they didn't see what I saw after I got to know him. Alone, he would chat about his vast knowledge of animals, endangered species, he could list ever series and the name of the Episodes of Family Guy, his art work was unlike I've ever seen in my life. Especially his plastercine creations -the meticulous detail was mind boggling. He loved animals, magic and books. All the things I loved too. People later asked if he enjoyed those things because of me and I said no he loved those before we met but that's why we hit it off so well. I knew his form of autism was Aspergers where the child is extremely intelligent but has troubles with social cues that most children learn naturally. One day he was working on a biography about the life of Dr. Suess. The book featured a picture of Dr. Suess as a child and his "odd" drawings on the ground, surrounded by a group of laughing boys. Suddenly he pointed to the picture and said "that's like me! They tease me, they hurt me and I always get the blame!" I'll never forget his words of "You don't understand what it's like in my world!" The floodgates open up and this child cried and cried. He allowed me to hold him for the first time. I asked who was doing this and where? He told me about the torment on the playground and after school while waiting for his sister. I said I would go out there but he insisted that they wouldn't do it if I were there. I said I would be inside but peek behind the blinds and got the principal on board. We would catch them and make it stop and we were on his side. The next day and many days later - each time I saw him teased I went outside and brought the child in to see the principal. On the first day we had 10 children in the office. The principal assured this boy he was safe and to please tell the kids how this affected him. For the first time R faced his tormentors and told them how he made them feel. They were younger as his own classmates were unaware of what was going on as they played on the Big Kid playground where he was told to stay on the smaller kid playground figuring he was safer there. He spoke eloquently and directly to them once he knew we were on his side. The principal was amazed afterwards and said he had no idea that R was capable of speaking that way as he had only seen him experiencing meltdowns. From that day onward, life changed for R. He smiled more and he was believed. He knew to tell if he was upset and not strike out at everyone and everything. I plastered the hallways with his artwork and his clay models in the library display cases and over time he was known as the incredible artist and not the kid that screamed a lot. I always suspected he had a photographic memory and later this was proved to be true. He often would get the best marks in the class now that he could sit through the classes and not be upset over other occurances. I worked with him for 3 years until he left to go to High School. I visited him and his parents occasionally. They called me when R made the honor roll in High School. 2 years have gone by and now he's a young man of 15. Today, I stopped by unexpectedly to visit him at his new home. His mother proudly showed off their new place and her son's room. She told me he decorated it himself. She opened the door and my heart did flip flops and I felt the tears in my eyes. Decorated all over his walls were all the projects we had worked on together from grades 5,6,7. The greatest gift of all is to be able to touch another person and perhaps make a difference. Today, I saw that I had made that difference in his life and it was the greatest gift I could have received. |
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| That was me posting but guess my log in expired as it took me so long to post that story. Oops! Marianne |
Thank you for sharing that wonderful Christmas story. A special child is just that, and it takes special love and patience to help.  Blessings to special children everywhere, and those who make a difference for them.  |
| What a wonderful story...if only others would protect the special children! Having taught school I share your joy...for all the struggles it's so great when you see a child shine! That's real teaching...to touch a life. |
| Marianne, even without your login, I knew it was you! You have the most uplifting stories. There is truly a place in Heaven for you (with all your creatures, of course) |
| As someone who works specifically with people with mental handicaps, I would like to thank you for going above and beyond your job. Its amazing to hear what a long lasting impression listening and believing can make in someones life. Thank you for sharing your wonderful story. |
Marianne wrote: That was me posting but guess my log in expired as it took me so long to post that story. Oops! Marianne Why am I not surprised after reading that story that it was you? The world needs more people like you, maybe about 6 billion of them. Can we start cloning you or something?  Have a very merry Christmas! |
And I thought my numerous spelling errors was the clue that gave me away...  Thanks everyone for the wonderful comments. This youtube clip is for me one of the most inspirational. Team Hoyt - father and son team who do the iron man marathons together despite the son's disability. Another clip tells their life story and at the age of 12, the son was the one who asked his dad to participate via through a computer which helps them communicate. team hoyt i can only imagine For some reason I couldn't cut and paste but you should have no problems finding it. Promise me you'll watch it. |
| no angel, it had nothing to do with spelling errors that hinted at who the writer was. it might be the fact that there are too few that go above and beyond the call of duty. it's not a sappy story either, it's the kind of story that sets example for others, even if it's just a kind gesture to others that they take away from reading it. i've seen the hoyt video, amazing and heartwarming. may you and yours have wonderful holidays and a great 2011. p.s. i need to send you a real joke book.  |
Marianne, that is so great.  Imagining the frustration and pain that poor boy had just from going to school and interacting with other people. Lucky him to end up in your school and have you be his champion!  |
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