I have been libelled!
OH MY DOG!!!  Have you read what my Mom wrote about me.  I have been libelled, I have been defamed, I have been embarrassed!   I think it only fair that I take the opportunity to tell the story from the other end of the leash. Last Friday I spent a hard day at work guarding the house from marauding birds, stray cats and burglars. Its a hard job, made more difficult by the fact that my fellow guard, Rastus the dalmatian, spends the day asleep on a couch.  Now some might think that when I'm lying on my bed with my eyes closed that I too am asleep on the job but they would be wrong!! They have no understanding of the super refined senses of a dog who has a long line of sheep guarding ancestors. My super tuned senses can hear every unusual sound, smell every nuance of scent and detect every change in the breeze. In other words my eyes might be closed but dont be fooled into thinking I dont know you're there. I do! I have even been known to employ an extremely stealthy trick by pretending to snore quietly just to convince any potential trespassers that its safe to show themselves. And pity on them when they do, because I'm on to them before they even know what happened.  So back to Friday, I ended up doing overtime as my Dad was home late and to add insult to injury overtime means I get no 'down time' whatsoever. There was no car trip to the park, no chasing my squeaky ball, no running, in short "THERE WAS NO FUN!!!" Eventually my Mom came home scoffed her dinner and grabbed my training bag and off we went. "Oh great I thought at last some fun stuff will happen." We got to the oval that we go to most Friday nights and got out of the car and most unusually wet bits started dropping on me from the sky. But it was ok as it made EVERYTHING smell extra amazing. So I glued my nose to the ground and found out all about who'd been by lately and what they were feeling. It was really annoying that my Mom kept making me walk faster and telling me to look at her. Well for Pete's sake I know what she looks like already, pretty much the same as she looked yesterday actually, why would I want to look at her when I can do that anytime? There were SMELLS to be smelt!! Then we kept coming across other dogs and my Mom wouldnt let me stop and stare at them or see if they wanted to play chasey. After a whole day of not chasing I had a powerful need to run. So first chance I got when she let me off lead I looked around, like I said, I'd had enough of looking at her, and decided that as much fun as the tunnel is it seemed like a better idea to run across the oval and see if the big golden wanted me to chase him. You see, most every golden I know likes a good game of chasey so it was worth a try. Then I heard my Mom squeaking my ball, well great, the golden was on lead and couldnt play even if he wanted to, so I raced back to play chase with my ball. By the time I got there some young upstart Border Collie was being a total nerd and sitting at my Mom's feet looking all obedient. And can you believe this "looking" at her face like she was the best thing since sliced beef. Well I just raced on up, all ready to show him how things should be done. I mean its best to show your appreciation and enthusiasm at this point by jumping around and proving that you REALLY want the squeaky ball. Well you wont believe it! The little upstart dared to fly at me and snap at my face.  Never let it be said that I'll take any nonsense from little or big pipsqueak, upstart younglings. I gave him a piece of my mind. It was great, I love a good altercation it blasts out the cobwebs!!! My Mom ruined it by grabbing two handfuls of my back coat and dragging me out to the fray. Sheesh what does she think I cant take care of myself or something. I bounced around like crazy then, I had so much adrenaline and I needed to DO something, anything. The chief instructor upright got a bit carried away at that point and took my squeaky ball and got me to sit in front of the tunnel like before and then went to the side of the tunnel and showed me my ball. Is he NUTS or just crazy! I wasnt going to run in the tunnel when my ball was on the outside, how would I keep my eye on it then? No sirree, I just ran along the outside of the tunnel to make sure that my highly desirable squeaky ball did not go missing while I wasnt looking. I'm pretty sure no one heard me muttering to myself about thieving upstart Border Collies. So at least I didnt slander him. Then the wet stuff got much wetter and Mom put me back in the car while she had fun running around in the wet packing up all the things that had been getting in the way of me having a good time, you know tunnels and jumps and what not. I find a completely empty oval is best for running and chasing on. For some reason the upstarts get all funny when there's things on the oval. Not that I dont mind a good run through a tunnel or two but all in its proper time is my motto. So I lodge a protest and make my case that I was libelled, as you can see it was me who was hard done by! I mostly got to sit in the car while Mom got wet and had fun running around, no one wanted to play chase and some pipsqueak had designs on my very own squeaky ball. Its MINE all MINE that ball.Sorry for the long post but I really think you all needed to get the true story about last Friday, I rest my case!!!!! Love Tiggy  |
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| Tiggy gerl.....You WON me over!!!!! I know what these uprights can do when they are stressed out....THEY get silly and take it out on us. How can you NOT smell?????? NOT want to play????? NOT want to blow off some steam. After all the work you did during the day??? Can you maybe organize a CLASS ACTION suit ?? I know a few of my 'friends' will participate. Chewy, Sybil, Harry, maye even Winston and Paislee?? (OTHERS CAN RESPOND TO THIS AND WE CAN PUT THEM ON 'THE LIST!!) I think we have a great chance of WINNING!!!!! And then we all can take a 'holiday' and maybe go to the beach. WHAT FUN that would be!! Oh...and NO MOMMIES!!! Just us poor persecuted, dejected puppers...  BTW...I have really great ensomble for COURT!!! A demure little black number with clear crystals in my piggies.. .I can see it now............................. YOUR partner in CRIME.......... .HEART  ...... |
| Heart I just KNEW I could count on you for support! And for advice on just the right outfit to wear in any situation even one as nasty and unsavoury as a courthouse. |
| Of course you can get great advice from Heart on both behavior and fashion. I know she has helped me quite a bit in the bling department but mom has not taken any photos of my new looks yet. it's not right! Tigger - I will be in court if you need me! |
| Poor Tiggy, so misunderstood. |
| Hi Tiggy, this is your cousin Camille, the HOES, (honorary old English sheep dog) BTW , thank you for your nomination I am very proud of it, I almost got my mom convince to make me a wig that look like OES so I can be with you in court. I am behind you 100%, you have RIGTHS! You work very hard everyday, you have the right to have fun to smell all the mail that is left in the ground for you and to play when you need it ! My mom don’t understand that I need to make sure everybody is watching me and to say hello to my fans when I am on the ring I will go to court if you need a witness and I will made my mom make us a really cool Bling to wear. Yes Heart, it will match with everything you want to wear “BTW...I have really great ensomble for COURT!!! A demure little black number with clear crystals in my piggies” She has this cool black nail polished that will go perrrrrfffeeecccttt with that “ensomble” of yours |
| Don't worry Tiggy, I believe you in all this. Can never trust the uprights. |
| Dear Tiggy and Fellow Offended (H)OES: I have been libelled over and over and over again as many of you well know. Called the Evil Little Dark Bitch when it is fact, FACT, I tell you, that I am the smartest most industrious OES who has ever graced this household. Because of this I have a training contract I'll share with all of you later that the upright must sign before EACH and EVERY training session. Even a small breach of contract and the cell phone comes out, I tell you, I have my lawyer on speed dial, and though the Upright THINKS I'm sniffing the ground or checking out the bar setters or flirting with my instructor I am in fact consulting with my lawyer about how to handle the latest offense. I will say that as of late the breaches have become fewer and further between, suggesting to me that the contract works because it is enforcable. Though I admit progress has been very slow - good grief! these Uprights are sooo SLOW on the uptake, they wouldn't last a day in the wild but would be eaten by some maurauding squirrels. Not that they'd see them coming as technology has dulled their senses to nothing  Anyway, I just wanted to mention the contract, to follow. Naturally you can count me in on any class action suit you intend to file, and I will make my lawyer available for consultation as we figure out the ins and outs of filing such a suit globally. Enough is Enough! Performance OES Unite!!!!!!!!!!! Sybil PS it's a well known fact that BCs are terrible butt kissers. I'd be embarrassed to show myself in public if I behaved like that!  My deepest sympathies on the suck up trying to show you up. I think you should file a separate suit against him for setting idiotic and unreasonable expectations for herding breeds!!! |
 Team Tiggy! Thanks for the great early morning Laugh! |
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