Maverick vs. Toddler, Husband (and newborn on the way)
I have a 9 year old sheepie named Maverick whom I have raised since birth. He was 5 years old when I married my husband, and 7 when we had our first child. My hubby was not raised around dogs and is quite indifferent about them- Maverick picks up on that and as a result is very anxious around my husband. He's always been a little afraid of men in general, and it takes him a while to warm up to anyone. We have a few issues at hand here. My husband doesn't really like dogs, he sees Maverick as "my dog" and doesn't pet or interact with him at all to gain his trust. So if Maverick is laying at my feet and hubby walks into the room, Maverick jumps up to scramble away, many times knocking our 20 month old son over in the process. This, in turn, makes my hubby resent Maverick because our son always gets scared and cries. (I don't think he actually really gets hurt, except one time he flew about 3 feet and did a face plant in the gravel  We are due with our second son in September. I'm doing my best to teach my oldest son how to be gentle to Maverick and "pet him nice", but right now he seems to enjoy rolling around on him or sitting on him. I always tell him "no, Maverick is a dog, not a chair" and remove him, but I'm worried what will happen if I'm tending to the newborn and am not right between my toddler and Maverick. Maverick has snapped at my son a couple times but hasn't made contact and bitten him yet. He usually jumps up and runs away when he gets too annoyed. I guess I'm just looking for any training advice that I could get started on now, before the baby comes, to ease the tension in the household and help us all get along smoothly. Those of you who have successfully raised children with OES please respond and share what worked for you  |
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| Why are you overlooking the interaction between Maverick and your husband? The dog's fear of your husband keeps him in a fearful state that in turns makes him uncertain around your child. |
| PLEASE bring in a professional humane dog trainer now... this is for both the humans AND the dog. This isn't something that can be handled with online advice. You'll soon have two small children and a large dog that is fearful and possibly frustrated. It's not a good combination and I'm afraid someone will get hurt and it could force Maverick to be euthanized. |
SheepieBoss wrote: Why are you overlooking the interaction between Maverick and your husband? The dog's fear of your husband keeps him in a fearful state that in turns makes him uncertain around your child. I'm not overlooking it, I know that's the main issue here. I've tried to address it. I've asked my husband why he doesn't like Maverick and he denies that anything is wrong. There's nothing I can do to help their relationship if he's unwilling to make an effort. Maverick was the first dog that my husband ever lived with. He was never allowed to have a dog growing up, and his mom is fearful of medium/large size dogs and she instilled that fear in him. We never really had these issues..at least not to this extent, until we had our son. My husband doesn't trust Maverick around him at all. I would never trust ANY dog 100% around my child, but I trust Maverick a little further than my husband does. I allow him to interact with him under my supervision, hubby would just rather he not interact with him at all. I don't want to make it sound like my husband is a horrible person, he's not. He's just not a "dog person" and never has been. I had the dog when we entered a relationship so he views him as "my dog" and I am responsible for him. I would like to get a trainer to work with us but I don't know how that is possible considering I doubt my husband would get involved with it and he is not going to be willing to pay for it. |
| Having had 3 newborns with our OES' who are now 9m, 2yo, and 4yo ....I'll tell you what I have told most of the folks who have had similar problems. Your toddler and "future" toddler WILL get knocked down, SMACKED down hard, and stepped on... and as long as you're doing your best, these incidents will be rare and you both your kids and you will live through it  Your kids may have an egg on their head, may scream bloody murder... but they'll be most likely be fine. Just saying because it's true!!!!You've made it this long and your toddler is probably as healthy as can be right? Well the thought of 2 kids scares the crap out of EVERYONE, but you'll do fine. Focus on stronger discipline with your toddler when he crawls on the dog (basically just staying on top of it), and I never had a moment really where I didn't have both in my sight ...and all you need is your vocal chords to scream "NOOOOO <insert child's name>" ...that's what I did!! If it didn't work... he got knocked down. Their heads are meant to take hits esp at that age. Mine has hit so hard (one time an egg almost the size of a peach but that was from ramming into the bed), and we didn't even take him to the hospital (and were told it's almost ALWAYS unnecessary unless they were unconscious).I won't assume the worst as far as the dog growling/snapping but if it is.. I'm sure you know you need to get professional help and/or look at placing the dog somewhere else. I will assume it's tame (like my dogs), and your dog is usually a sweetheart?? I don't let my toddler "get" in the position to cause trouble. He heads towards the dog, I'm already saying "Leave him alone... he doesn't like you." as we also say with the cats. My 2yo tortures all the animals ...he's been nipped in the eye (By cats) with so many close calls .... all of which he has DESERVED. He'll be fine. I guess I have a different perspective because I'm living it "right now." Going through the same exact thing ...not to mention I have a 9 mo about to walk, ...and knows it's really not that bad. It WAS when I had my first child, but now that I've lived through it a few times, ...I realize it's not a big deal. Again, I'm only assuming your dog is not an aggressive one. Good luck |
| I wanted to add we have all tile too! |
| Really what I'm hearing is that you need training tips for husband and babies. Not my forte unfortunately The dog, and especially at his age, is who he is. First he had you to himself. Then he had to share you with a person who has absolutely no interest in him. Fair enough. Not everyone is a dog person. Then add a toddler. Boy, that's a lot of stress in his world. The fact that he is clearly nervous around your husband and heaven knows toddlers scare the bejeebies out of me, unpredictable and untrainable as they are at that age and hasn't taken a chunk out of anyone speaks volumes of what a nice fundamental temperament he has. That said, sooner or later odds are really good that he's going to hit overload and he's going to defend himself like dogs do and thus live up to your husband's worst fears. At that point you have a senior dog with a bite record and options are not good for dogs in that kind of situation. One near and dear to me ended up dead that way. If you're going to keep the dog and the husband and the toddler and the baby all (don't ask me which one I'd keep, there's a reason I'm single ), I would really consider protecting the dog from all three of them, meaning lots of baby gates and hyper-vigilance, if you can handle it? I know it's a lot, but other than rehoming your dog it's your best bet for keeping him safe. The challenge will be still giving him the attention he needs on top of dealing with kids. One option is designate special time for just you and Maverick and let husband take care of kids. Love the name, by the way. Maverick, I mean. Kristine |
| I brought two babies home when I had an oes (not at the same time) you need to seperate your dog from toddlers crawling all over him. He is set in his ways and I would baby gate an area where the dog can have some peace and quiet My oes was always around my kids I did not have to gate but it seems you will have to. I think that is the easiest answer for now. and remind your children to be gentle with the dog. Good luck to you, new baby, toddler and mavrick. |
Mrs. J will get you thru the babies, I'm going back to husband. Time for walks together. Baby, you, husband and Maverick. In small ways begin to bond husband with dog or at least reduce his fear (men hide behind "it's nothing".) Call it a family walk, time in the park, etc. Let husband learn how to walk a dog on leash......here's where the obedience training clicks in, though Dawn gives great advice in her posts under "training." Once Maverick feels he can trust your husband, I suspect he'll relax. As for MIL...might be best to keep Maverick away from her, which will be hard when she's there to visit. You might get your DH trained only to have him fall apart when his mother is present. ............men  |
| What's funny is that hubby used to walk Maverick. A loooong time ago when we were dating. I don't know what happened. They've never had an "incident" that I know of...I asked him if anything happened, if Maverick ever bit him or anything, and he says no. No clue what happened. Oh and MIL LOVES Maverick. she was a little wary of him at first, but says he is the sweetest dog and he made her want to get an OES LOL She always babysits him if we go out of town, Maverick will be staying there when I'm in the hospital to have the baby |
| I had three dogs (two Sheepies and and Irish Setter) before we had 3 children. And these were house dogs, in a small house. We worked on getting the dogs to think the kids were fun, lots of treats when the kids were around. One of my favorite pictures is of the dogs and my oldest as a toddler, lined up in fornt of my husband, who was holding a box of dog cookies. I did not let my children sit on the dogs - ever. Or poke eyes or ears. Or pull hair. Or hit. Or wrestle. The child was removed from the situation as their behavior was not acceptable. Amazing how well that works if you consistently follow through. I like the suggestions from other posters. Good advice. |
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