Max in hospital
 His apprentice is not was he was hoping, he HATES his job and got soo much pressure about the amount he got to learn. If he doesnt keep up he will be sacked anytime. The last 4 years in UK he visited the College, the bavarian school system doesnt count the college at all, so he was there for nothing!  The hospital will keep him for about 6-10 days and have talks with him then they will decide what to do after as this hospital is for emergency only. Hope he will soon recover and have fun and happiness in his life again. The apartment is quite lonely without him, even Charlie feels there is something strange ... he's not here! |
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I am so sorry!! I will keep you and Max in my prayers.  |
| Ahhh that's too bad. Moving is quite stressful. I am happy he is getting the care and help he needs, and I hope he can continue with his apprenticeship. |
| I'm sorry to hear about Max. I hope he is ok soon. |
| Monika, I am so sorry to hear that Max is struggling. I have a sibling who has been suicidal, so I understand how difficult it is and how helpless you feel. You just want to make everything alright, but you can't. It's a good sign that he reached out to you and told you the truth about how he was feeling. It means that he wants help. This hospital stay is good because it allows professionals to evaluate him, and start him on some medications. My sibling would not be alive today if it weren't for the medications. I will keep you in my prayers. If you have any questions, or need me, just PM me. Laurie and Oscar |
| you and max are in my prayers |
| Oh dear. I hope he feels in better spirits soon. I have a sister who struggles with depression. I feel for him. |
| I hope max feels better soon Glad he is where he can get the help he needs to cope. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. |
| Oh NO! many many hugs to you!! Thank goodness he spoke to you and didn't just keep it all bottled up inside. |
| Monika I'm very sorry to hear about Max. I'm very glad he spoke to you about how he is feeling. The hospital will help him work through this. My mom suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. Medications are a big help, along with talking. Hugs to the both of you. Lisa and Frankie |
| I'm so glad Max felt safe enough to tell you his feelings and that he was able to get immediate attention. |
| I can only imagine how scary that is. I agree that his telling you about his feelings is positive but that surely must have been so hard to hear. I really hope he finds the help he needs . . . |
| Monika, PM me your address we will send him a card. Please give him our love & let him know Ru sends sheepie kisses. I hope he feels better soon, how about looking at a career change of some type? If you work out an action plan with him, maybe he will feel better knowing you can both do something, even if it's going to take some time. Lots of hugs to you both |
| Monika - it is a credit to your parenting and close relationship, that Max was able to tell you about his feelings. Thanks goodness! My thoughts are with you both as you work toward a better future. |
| Thinking of you, I hope things will turn around for Max real soon. |
| How is Max doing? |
| Sending good thoughts and prayers for you and Max |
Thank you all for your kind and lovely words!  I have visited Max on friday at the hospital but he had only 15min time as there was another visit from the doctor. But he looked well and he said that the hospital is better than he thought as he didnt wanted to stay at first. Saturday he was allowed to visit his hairdresser as he had an appointment and made a surprise visit at home which was very nice. But again only for a couple of minutes as he had his appointments back to the hospital. Today he wants to "visit" us (sounds very strange!) for lunch. He just called 30 minutes ago that he will come a bit later cause he wants to play table tennis with someone which makes me really happy as he was always afraid of other people and never talked to anyone, so this is a good sign.!   I will see later on what he will tell me about the talking sessions he had with the group and the single sessions he had with the doctors.I'll keep you all updated every time I hear some new things!  I can see a lot how we miss Max already, the room is empty even if you never heard him cause he was quietly on the computer or painted his game-figures! I'm glad Max is doing so well!! |
| Thank you so much for the update on Max I was wondering how he was doing. ((hugs)) to you Monika, take care of yourself.(sorry I couldn't get the hugs icon to work) |
| That's great news that Max is feeling more postitive. Take care of yourself too. |
| Monika it sounds like Max is in a good place. I am glad he is able to get out to visit, that is nice for you both. Thanks for the update. |
| Monika thinking of you and charlie and also Max hoping it will pass soon or settle down a bit, it's such a hard thing depression but thank goodness he is getting it treated. Sending huge Hugs to you all and special get well to Max too. Thinking of you all |
| Glad to hear Max seems to be responding well to his treatment. Its good that he is joing in with activities and making friends. Hugs to all of you! |
| Hi Monika only just read about Max as my computer has been off line. At least he is in the best place and it is good that he is making friends. I am sure things will work out, with a super Mum like you it will all be fine soon. xx |
| I visited Max today at the hospital and the doctor had a word with me and him together about the things they found out in his past that made him the most problems. I understand everything now much better and Max too. He was later allowed to stay overnight here at home for a "test" and got to be back tomorrow at 10am. he's hoping to leave tomorrow the hospital with further treatment over the next years by a psychological doctor same as I need one too! they also gave us an adress where we both learn how to apply in german for a new apprentice in sept. In the meantime they agreed it's best for him to look for a job (he wants to work as a postman until he gets another apprentice) so he can stop his current apprentice. He looks to me much happier and can easier talk than he did last week! He's also glad he went into the hospital even if it didnt looked good at first. he said all the people where nice there and it's interesting that so many people got problems like him. thank you for all you well wishings and concerns!!! |
I'm so glad that it seems to be working out for him.  |
| Sounds like he's made great strides and has top-notch medical providers. I hope his progress continues - onward and upward! |
That sounds great! I'm so glad you guys are really sorting your lives out in a big way! Seems like your new beginning is only just starting  |
Max came back yesterday from hospital. He know got to find a psychic doctor for him to continue the work but he's still scared sometimes to talk to strangers and is worried to take Charlie everywhere as with her we got too much attention which he cant cope with. He's already getting pain in his stomach by the thought he must go outside for a wee with Charlie, just in case someone would try to talk to him! .... but I'll hope this feeling will be better when he starts his talking sessions!! .. hope the move to UK when he was a child wasnt bad for him as he was a very lively child before we moved to UK, then he stopped it and was always very quiet until now!    Still we are pleased his back home and he feels fine !!  |
| Monika, Hugs to you and Max!! It sounds like he is doing better! Glad he is back home with you..... |
| I'm glad Max is home, and you guys are making progress. Maybe a develope quick response to people when they come up when he pottying Charlie - some thing like "her name is Charlie...or yes she is a sheepdog... we are just out for a quick run, maybe talk later when my mom has her out?" |
Max is great to talk to. Yes he's a bit shy, but he's got a great sense of humour! He's polite, helpful, has great ideas and has a wonderful positive 'aura'. Greg also likes him a lot too! I think they are similar in the way that they don't like to talk to people they don't know. Greg is also uncomfortable talking to people when he walks Ru, so he walks really fast and people don't stop so much  I think Max is just at that age when most of the other people your age are idiots & that makes it hard to make friends! Is there a Games Workshop type club he could go to? Does he like anything arty like other types of painting? Perhaps he could try new hobbies and maybe that would give him more confidence? I'm sure you are getting lots of good advice from your counsellors. Don't feel guilty about the past Monika.. you are a fantastic mum & it shows because Max is a young man you can be very proud of |
Hint of Mischief wrote: Max is great to talk to. Yes he's a bit shy, but he's got a great sense of humour! He's polite, helpful, has great ideas and has a wonderful positive 'aura'. Greg also likes him a lot too! I think they are similar in the way that they don't like to talk to people they don't know. Greg is also uncomfortable talking to people when he walks Ru, so he walks really fast and people don't stop so much I think Max is just at that age when most of the other people your age are idiots & that makes it hard to make friends! Is there a Games Workshop type club he could go to? Does he like anything arty like other types of painting? Perhaps he could try new hobbies and maybe that would give him more confidence? I'm sure you are getting lots of good advice from your counsellors. Don't feel guilty about the past Monika.. you are a fantastic mum & it shows because Max is a young man you can be very proud of Oh thank you Cassie, I try to be a good Mom but ofcourse everyone makes mistakes and it wasnt easy living in UK, trying to get a job and handling to money. More gone out then came in as usually There is a games workshop here and we've been there but Max doesnt like that they play only in german, he wants to play the game only in english, that's the problem and he doesnt even wanna try it in german! He found an event in june where a big crowd is playing and it seems like they play in english as they have to fill out the form entry in english, but he's too shy to go there on his own not knowing anyone which is a shame! I'm glad Greg is like Max so it doesnt feel that Max is the only one who doesnt want to speak to strangers and ofcourse many youth are really idiots, even here in germany! Max is already scared to make a doctors appointment on the telephone as he is worried hours before to make the call! is that normal?????   .. he also starts having panick attacks like I still!!!!! got! so we are using herbal drops for every day use and hope they help too!I pm you our adress and you can write Max. You also can write him on facebook but just to let you know, I didnt wrote anything on facebook about him and his friends dont know either! so if you write him on facebook please send him a private message!! xxxxxxx |
| I am so happy to read that Max is doing better. It is hard being a parent the road is not always smooth. Hoping he continues uphill with his life. This is just great news |
| Just read this post. So sorry. Glad he is doing better now. It is difficult. Prayers to you and Max. |
Quote: Max is already scared to make a doctors appointment on the telephone as he is worried hours before to make the call! is that normal????? Greg is exactly like this! He absolutely HATES making phone calls. I'm a little bit like that but once I know what I'm going to say I'm fine- I don't make his calls for him, he does it himself but still hates it. I just tell him, do it NOW, then it's over with, and you have the info you need or the appointment or whatever. Can you go with him to the Games Workshop thing? You are a very cool mum & I'm sure he wouldn't be embarrassed to have you there? |
| It sounds like Max is having some difficulty in the language department. Is there a class he can take in learning German? I'm sure for him the change is quite a lot going from one country to another. Once he can understand/speak German language better and understand "the ways of the Germans" he will feel more comfortable and feel more confident and perhaps be able to make friends. Maybe you can contact a University near you and see if they have any Exchange Students from an English Speaking country that he can make friends with. They would have a lot in common with the language and adjusting to a new country. Hugs to you and Max. |
violet wrote: It sounds like Max is having some difficulty in the language department. Is there a class he can take in learning German? I'm sure for him the change is quite a lot going from one country to another. Once he can understand/speak German language better and understand "the ways of the Germans" he will feel more comfortable and feel more confident and perhaps be able to make friends. Maybe you can contact a University near you and see if they have any Exchange Students from an English Speaking country that he can make friends with. They would have a lot in common with the language and adjusting to a new country. Hugs to you and Max. I'm sure there is something where he could top up his german but after 14 years in school he is sick of learning and it's difficult for me to ask him to get extra teaching as he already got problems learning anything at work. He said he doesnt get it in his head, he doesnt know HOW to keep soo much stuff at once. He can speak and understand german but he got problems with the grammar and if there is a question he doesnt understand the whole question nor does he know HOW to answer. just talking and listen to the tv is very different to understand and answer questions:cry: he also got a problem to know WHO he is, is he English or German?! Sometimes I wonder if I made a mistake with moving but he told me today he was long time in UK depressed and was scared to leave the house but never told me. |
Hint of Mischief wrote: Quote: Max is already scared to make a doctors appointment on the telephone as he is worried hours before to make the call! is that normal????? Greg is exactly like this! He absolutely HATES making phone calls. I'm a little bit like that but once I know what I'm going to say I'm fine- I don't make his calls for him, he does it himself but still hates it. I just tell him, do it NOW, then it's over with, and you have the info you need or the appointment or whatever. Can you go with him to the Games Workshop thing? You are a very cool mum & I'm sure he wouldn't be embarrassed to have you there? Oh it's great to know that Greg is exactly like him, that makes it easier to realize Max doesnt have a problem on his own! We wanted to go today to a medival festival but I cant get Max out of the house, he is soo scared of everyone around him. I get sometimes really frustrated and dont know what do do. He also doesnt help at home, I work all day and night, walk Charlie and Max is just sitting all day in his room on the computer or paints his figures. It is really complicated for me that I believe I soon have to go to the same hospital as I cant cope anymore with it. All my life I was on my own, then I got Max and tooked care of him and still do, sometimes I cant cope anymore as I need care aswell. So many important decisions to do and I've got to do them all on my own!!! I want to go tomorrow with Charlie to wash my clothes as my washer still doesnt work (cant connect it yet as long as I got no sink) but he started crying, that just the thought of it going there with me makes him problems. He was looking brilliant when he came out of the hospital couple of days ago but it's back to square one since he's at home. He said he's falling into the normal day life and he cant cope with it! Max doesnt want to go to the Games Workshop, he was there once with me and he wasnt very interesting as it is not in english! (... and OH yes, he's embarrased with me, he said this quite often!! ) he said it doesnt bring him anything to go there cause the figures are much expensiver as in UK as they are delivered from UK to germany so they charge more. He still orders his stuff on the internet from UK. He thinks it's not worth going to the shop!I do try to get him out but he doesnt want to, what's the best to do? Waiting until he is ready or forcing him????? |
Quote: what's the best to do? Waiting until he is ready or forcing him????? I can't answer that, but maybe the counsellor at the hospital can? I suggest you get in touch with somebody there, and tell them you are back to square one. Whatever they did to help worked before.. maybe he just needs more of that? I'm sorry you are struggling too |
Hint of Mischief wrote: Quote: what's the best to do? Waiting until he is ready or forcing him????? I can't answer that, but maybe the counsellor at the hospital can? I suggest you get in touch with somebody there, and tell them you are back to square one. Whatever they did to help worked before.. maybe he just needs more of that? I'm sorry you are struggling too That was my thought too - contact the hospital, talk with some of the staff who know Max. If I tried to recommend, I would just be guessing what the best option would be. Take care of yourself as well - you both will come out the better because you are taking the time to really work on this. Painful now, but it will be worth it later! |
| I also agree. Contact the hospital they should be able to give you some recomendations. Think of the both of you... fromLisa and Frankie |
| You've been given good advise...talk to the counselor at the hospital who is familiar with Max. My mil was born and raised in Berlin and came to the States with two little kids...so I do kinda understand the language barriers. She would go back and forth between German/English when she talked and I heard she had a real difficult time when she first arrived. Hugs to you and Max! |
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