The Perfect Number of Children
I don't think I can get enough of my 3 and feel I could have so many more... assuming we could afford them and live comfortably of course! My days can be stressful, but I swear all is resolved once my kiddos go about their daily antics. They're good boys, but I mean when they say silly things. Example would be like today, one of them grabbed their head and told me they had a rough day and needed a vitamin to give them energy (flintstones vitamin = only candy they get). The other heard me tell my husband I didn't have time to cook, so he grabbed some RAW chicken in the fridge and AS I WATCHED, tossed it in the dog dish and put it on the table, followed by napkins ...then came running to me with a big smile like he did a good job. I love how much of myself [and hubby] I see in them. |
|
|
| I would have loved to have had more...husband felt money, and the time we could give each one was more important. As they started high school we were often divided just to make everything...one played softball, one ran track, one played tennis, one was in band...I was a teacher and had to attend my own school functions as well...whew...some days was really nonstop and we kept a calendar on the fridge so we knew where everyone was and who was picking up who...we never missed one thing the girls were part of...I am told now by my daughter how important it was to her. We lost our daughter at 19 in an accident and now as a "empty nester" I could say I wish I had more but looking back the important thing was being there for everything and giving each one the time they needed to develop into the persons they became...money is important to afford to do for them but your time with each one is so special and you can't put a price on it. As your children become older and enter the world you will become even more active just getting them here and there and being there for them. I was one of four and felt very alone many times because my parents couldn't be there with me. |
| Don't know yet, lol.
I think I'm torn between 2 and 3. I come from a family of 3, so that # seems right to me, but then at the same time, I don't know if I want to HAVE 2 more kids, let alone if I CAN. Are you contemplating adding to the group?  |
| My husband and I are not the norm for our age. At 27, we want no children. We haven't completely nixed them though, we'll revisit the topic in a few years.
Great for those that do want big families. You have so much patience! |
| I have three children, 2 girls and 1 boy who are all 18 months apart. They are currently 7, almost 6 and 4. I don't know what is wrong with me lately but I have this internal drive that really makes me want another. I am assuming its because my "baby" is no longer a baby and I know he is my last child. They just seem to be growing up so quickly and when I look at photos of them when they were younger I actually start crying! I have always dreamed of having a large family. I love my children, and even though sometimes things can get a bit hectic, in my opinion it is a wonderfull hectic if that makes any sense whatsoever. |
| with my first husband, he wanted 4 I wanted two so we compromised on 3. In the end we only had 2. With my present hubby we raised my two, his one and we had a child together. They are all grown up and out of the house now. My only regret is I wish I would have had one more closer to my youngest child's age...he was raised as an only with the other's being 9/10yrs older. I loved raising my children and I also worked outside the house at the time. Hubby/I where Coaches and very involved in our children's lives. We loved it. I was raised in a family of 6 kids and loved having so many sisters and brothers.
My niece has 6 boys, nephew has 4 boys ect.my stepson, who we raised has 3 children. It is not unusual to see larger families anymore. |
I have 3...all grown, but there would have been 6.. 1 miscarrage, 2 ectopics...I would have had more but it was not meant to be....  ((But I am so happy and proud of the 3 I got!!)  |
| I would like to have one child. No more though, ideally. I hear all kinds of input on this, though. One of my sisters tells me I should have at least two.
I was one of ten children, and trust me, though I do love my sibs, I would not wish that on any kid. It was really difficult being one of so many. It's not as though my kid would have any lack of cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. Incidentally, yesterday, my friend told me that if I'm going to have a kid, I better do it now, since I don't have much time left. I'm 30. Considering that my mother had children from 20 through to 45, I figure I still have some time left. |
| True, but at 35 you're considered to be of 'advanced maternal age' and risk factors for things like Down Syndrome go up. Just things to think about. But, if you're just having 1, then it doesn't matter as much, since you could knock one out before 35 if you want |
| I love my 2 men. It's tough calling them children once they reach their 20's.
I never really wanted kids, not because I dislike children, it's the parents I don't like and didn't want to turn into one.  That's why I no longer teach school, because of parents.
I think people should consider how much quality time they have to spend with each child and then have one child less than the total reached. Parents forget they need time for themselves and their partner so they can be the best for their children. Children raised by parents that are happy and well connected are better off in all aspects. We should also consider the long term for our children, not just our emotions at the current time. Our earth is already overpopulated, technology isn't being accepted at the same rate as growth, what do we see for our childrens future? It's an overused word but carbon footprint should be part of the decision when considering having children. Look to the future and see what they will have to deal with as adults. We(parents) are responsible to prepare them to live in their world, our time will be the past. |
| Good answers and interesting points. I esp. liked the point of juggling schedules of several kids who are involved in different activities. I told Mr. J what was said. One of the advantages for us, is our neighborhood (which we picked entirely for the kids) has a huge sports organization and the kids can walk or bike to their after school activity. Their school also being bike riding distance. It'll help us a lot, not that I plan on not being there b/c I do!
barney1 wrote: Don't know yet, lol.
I think I'm torn between 2 and 3. I come from a family of 3, so that # seems right to me, but then at the same time, I don't know if I want to HAVE 2 more kids, let alone if I CAN. Are you contemplating adding to the group? I keep waiting ...and waiting for the announcement. Have you tried headstands afterwards  |
| I have 4 (now mostly adult, 2 in college) children, born over a 9 year span. All thankfully, healthy and good people. They like each other and are friends, as well as siblings. When I was a kid, I thought I'd love to have 12 kids, until I added up the years of pregnancy, which in my child's mind all looked like the last month and scaled back. I think that after that, I always thought that 4 was the perfect number for me, although whether this was because I grew up with 3 siblings, I can't say. But in my mind's eye, I think I always pictured 3 boys and a girl which is what I ended up with.
All 4 were born via c-section and since I knew the last would also be a c-section, I scheduled a tubal ligation (not to revive that thread) to coincide with delivery. I felt 4 c-sections was enough. My heart would have loved more children, but I felt I had pushed luck far enough. The next time that baby urge hit me, we got our first OES. Good things: I love them all and had a wonderful time raising them. It did mean a lengthy interruption/change of career for me as I would have never been able to afford daycare for all of them, so I didn't go back to work until the youngest was in school full time, and that was part time, built around their schedules. Which was fine, although the down side is that it had a permanent and huge impact on my career ambitions and ability to earn money. I am doing well now, but this is something to consider. Also, that 9 year spread over births meant I spent 16 years parenting teenagers. 16 years. I still can't believe I survived it. When you go from 1 to 2 children, it's a big change in dynamic, and I think, a healthy one. When you add a third child, you are out-numbered kids:parents and you need a bigger car and possibly a bigger house. A fourth doesn't change much, except make it more obvious that you need a big car and a bigger house. Bigger impact is when they head off to college, depending on how much help you feel you should give them. We strongly felt that we wanted our kids to avoid as much student debt as possible as we were fortunate to have been able to go to college when things were much cheaper. I had scholarships, hubby had (small) loans which we could handle very easily. Now I work with kids who are mid 20's to mid 30's and they struggle hard with their debt load. I am happy with the number of kids we had, actually. I don't know that I would suggest a young family today have so many, but we did, and we had a wonderful time. |
| I grew up in a family of 3 kids - all 3 being girls, born within 5 years. I swore I never would have 3 kids. The odd number always had 2 being "buddies" and one left out. In our family it changed all the time, but one was always the odd man out.
Todd is from a family of 8 kids - 7 boys and all within 10 years with no multiple births! We originally decided on 4 kids. After the girls were born (twins), I wanted another set of twins - boys this time!- and I would have the perfect family. 
But, we only had Travis, and when we thought about having a 4th one, we just decided not to. Travis is 3 years younger than LeAnne and Lisa. We talked about it, and decided not to gamble. We had 3 healthy kids, everyone got along - why push the fates?? We also didn't have much extra money at the time, and we wanted to be able to afford to do activities with the kids and not have ourselves be saying we couldn't do it because it was too expensive with all these kids. The 3 kids actually worked - I think becase the girls were twins and had their own specialness, and Travis was the boy and the baby, so he had his own uniqueness. |
got sheep wrote: I grew up in a family of 3 kids - all 3 being girls, born within 5 years. I swore I never would have 3 kids. The odd number always had 2 being "buddies" and one left out. In our family it changed all the time, but one was always the odd man out.
Todd is from a family of 8 kids - 7 boys and all within 10 years with no multiple births! We originally decided on 4 kids. After the girls were born (twins), I wanted another set of twins - boys this time!- and I would have the perfect family. But, we only had Travis, and when we thought about having a 4th one, we just decided not to. Travis is 3 years younger than LeAnne and Lisa. We talked about it, and decided not to gamble. We had 3 healthy kids, everyone got along - why push the fates?? We also didn't have much extra money at the time, and we wanted to be able to afford to do activities with the kids and not have ourselves be saying we couldn't do it because it was too expensive with all these kids. The 3 kids actually worked - I think becase the girls were twins and had their own specialness, and Travis was the boy and the baby, so he had his own uniqueness. perfect way to look at it!! it was the same with us..me and lisa (twins) and todd, the baby and only boy...but sad to say...we did gang up on him sometimes.... |
Darcy wrote: got sheep wrote: I grew up in a family of 3 kids - all 3 being girls, born within 5 years. I swore I never would have 3 kids. The odd number always had 2 being "buddies" and one left out. In our family it changed all the time, but one was always the odd man out. Todd is from a family of 8 kids - 7 boys and all within 10 years with no multiple births! We originally decided on 4 kids. After the girls were born (twins), I wanted another set of twins - boys this time!- and I would have the perfect family. But, we only had Travis, and when we thought about having a 4th one, we just decided not to. Travis is 3 years younger than LeAnne and Lisa. We talked about it, and decided not to gamble. We had 3 healthy kids, everyone got along - why push the fates?? We also didn't have much extra money at the time, and we wanted to be able to afford to do activities with the kids and not have ourselves be saying we couldn't do it because it was too expensive with all these kids. The 3 kids actually worked - I think becase the girls were twins and had their own specialness, and Travis was the boy and the baby, so he had his own uniqueness. perfect way to look at it!! it was the same with us..me and lisa (twins) and todd, the baby and only boy...but sad to say...we did gang up on him sometimes.... Oh yes, my "perfect daughters" did that too. He even got glued into his room once........ (They used Elmer's Glue and held the door shut until it hardened.) |
got sheep wrote: Darcy wrote: got sheep wrote: I grew up in a family of 3 kids - all 3 being girls, born within 5 years. I swore I never would have 3 kids. The odd number always had 2 being "buddies" and one left out. In our family it changed all the time, but one was always the odd man out. Todd is from a family of 8 kids - 7 boys and all within 10 years with no multiple births! We originally decided on 4 kids. After the girls were born (twins), I wanted another set of twins - boys this time!- and I would have the perfect family. But, we only had Travis, and when we thought about having a 4th one, we just decided not to. Travis is 3 years younger than LeAnne and Lisa. We talked about it, and decided not to gamble. We had 3 healthy kids, everyone got along - why push the fates?? We also didn't have much extra money at the time, and we wanted to be able to afford to do activities with the kids and not have ourselves be saying we couldn't do it because it was too expensive with all these kids. The 3 kids actually worked - I think becase the girls were twins and had their own specialness, and Travis was the boy and the baby, so he had his own uniqueness. perfect way to look at it!! it was the same with us..me and lisa (twins) and todd, the baby and only boy...but sad to say...we did gang up on him sometimes.... Oh yes, my "perfect daughters" did that too. He even got glued into his room once........ (They used Elmer's Glue and held the door shut until it hardened.) ha ha ha, that's so funny! My family had 3--2 boys and a girl, but I think it worked b/c I was the only girl and even though I was the middle child I was 'special' b/c I was 'the girl' and then my older brother was 'the oldest' and smart, and my younger brother was the baby... |
| As an only child I wanted to have 4 kids. My husband is also an only child.
Then came time for having kids... our oldest has asthma and as it turns out so does the youngest. Labor wasn't the best for either... so we are stopping at 2. If we have both kids having an asthma attack at the same time we have a parent for each child while in the hospital. Also a parent for each child when one is in hockey and the other in soccer at the same time. |
| Until age 33, I had thought that zero children was the ideal for me. Well, now I have my Mr Evan and just adore him to pieces. Now that he's 6 months I'm kind of sad that he's getting older and wish I knew what the heck I had been doing so I could have enjoyed the first 4 months more.
I was an only child and didn't mind it until my parents were divorced when I was about 12 years old. Honestly, from them on, I can say my life has been difficult and lonely. I have a few cousins but they usually lived far away. Life has always been filled with friends but it's not the same as siblings. My husband is the oldest of four kids and I clearly see and feel the connections to one another although they don't see one another frequently as we're all quite spread out.. I'm having a major internal struggle with whether or not I want to raise an only child and repeat my childhood. Maybe it's different for a boy than a girl and also my relationship with Steve is much different than my parents so I don't think he'll ever feel the effects of divorce. I absolutely LOVE Evan, but I don't know if I could emotionally and physically raise a second. In addition, I work full time and will need to continue to do so unless we move somewhere in which the school districts are much less desirable and the communities don't consist of mixed faiths. Do I have time for two kids? Would I be able to participate in every aspect of both of their lives? Do I have the patience, the energy??? Will I spend more time mediating rather than loving them?? On the topic of age, I'm reaching 36 yrs old this year. The doctor says I still have time... Also I would require another C-section. At least this time we wouldn't have the scare of potential tay-Sachs. That was awful! I'm also in complete agreement with Sheepdogma. She put my thoughts right out there into words... Sheepdogma wrote: I never really wanted kids, not because I dislike children, it's the parents I don't like and didn't want to turn into one. That's why I no longer teach school, because of parents.I think people should consider how much quality time they have to spend with each child and then have one child less than the total reached. Parents forget they need time for themselves and their partner so they can be the best for their children. Children raised by parents that are happy and well connected are better off in all aspects. We should also consider the long term for our children, not just our emotions at the current time. Our earth is already overpopulated, technology isn't being accepted at the same rate as growth, what do we see for our childrens future? It's an overused word but carbon footprint should be part of the decision when considering having children. Look to the future and see what they will have to deal with as adults. We(parents) are responsible to prepare them to live in their world, our time will be the past. |
Didn't find exactly what you're looking for? Search again here:
Custom Search
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|