When is enough enough?
We have been giving him medicines for the last 4 or 5 years for this... a few years ago the medicines caused a bad stomach, so we stopped the Piroxicam for a while, and went to Rimadyl. The Rimadyl was no good for him, so we stopped completely, and within a week he was completely unable to stand. The break seemed to do good for his stomach, so he went back on the piroxicam along with Tagamet to protect him. Now we are going to the vet 2x a week ($80) for accupuncture, and are now considering hydrotherapy, which is even more expensive than the accupuncture, and is about 40 miles away. We are struggling with the ultimate question. But our dog doesn't SEEM to be in any PAIN, it is just that he can barely walk. We wonder about if we should put him to sleep before he can't even stand, to preserve some "dignity" for him... but is it his dignity that we are considering, or is it our not wanting to see him like that that we are considering? He wants to be everywhere we go. He always wants to be in the same room. Our bedroom (and all the bedrooms in the house) are on the second floor. Every night he struggles to climb the stairs, one at a time, to join us. He is fearful of falling down the stairs as he did once or twice, so now he is on Amytriptaline (spelling?) to help manage the fear. Soon, I am afraid he will no longer be able to climb or descend the stairs without assistance. Do we get him a cart, so he can wheel around with us? We are paralyzed with indecision... -Ron, Joan and Jake. |
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| Ron,
I have no advice to offer. A tough decision and our thoughts are with you. I think that when it is really time to let him go, it won't be such a difficult decision. You will know it is the right thing to do for him. Sounds like neither of you are at that point yet. Continued best wishes and belly rubs to your boy (What is his name?), June |
| He is Jake, (Sir Jacob Harley of Ledgmont, or some such), our rescue boy. He adopted us on September 30th, 1992, just shy of his 3rd birthday. You can see him right here! Thanks for your words of encouragement. -Ron. |
| Ron,
I am so sorry to hear about Jake, and am writing this through tears, for both you and him. I cannot tell you how closely your story resembles mine. My thoughts and prayers are with Jake, and with you my friend. At your request, I am cross-posting what I wrote early this morning in response to some similar discussions on the NEOES mailing list about it being "only a dog." I hope that somehow these words might somehow help you and anyone else who faces a similar decision: I have only had to deal with that decision one time in my life - to help Merlin the Magnificent on his journey to the rainbow bridge - and it was the hardest decision I have ever made in my life. He was 11 years old, and I too told people that proudly, and it did not have anything to do with quantity over quality. It had to do how proud I was to have known him for that many years, much the same way you would tell someone how long you have been married or how long you have known a good friend. I don't think there is one person here who is "owned by" an OES that doesn't understand that feeling of intimacy that we all have with our 4-legged friends. I too helped Merlin up from the floor because of his hip dysplasia/arthritis for close to a year, and would have done it for as long as he wanted me to. But I think that I "Iistened" carefully to him (and you all know what I mean when I say that I think), and to the advice of my wonderful vet and the accupuncturist who helped him be more comfortable. Our vet said that the only possible "cure" would be hip surgery, which was very expensive, but that was not the real consideration - which I think was the point of the wonderful original post. I would have found the money in a heartbeat if I thought that is what he wanted/needed. It was not. The surgery would only have been an act of selfishness on my part. But from the wiggling of his butt and the sheepie kisses he gave me when he was helped to stand up and the way he ran around the back yard with that smile on his face, I knew that the only help he needed, for a time, was a little "boost" from me. And I was more than happy to give him that. Then one day, that changed, and when he got up he did not run, just stood as close as he could to me and looked up at me with eyes that were finally tired. He did the same thing to my wife a day later - and I think that was the hardest thing for him to do, to tell her. And we both understood that he now needed our help to cross that bridge and for us to be strong and unselfish for him. It was very hard, but I think you all know that there is no turning down that look that they give you when they really want something. I guess I have always just been rubbed the wrong way by that phrase "just a dog." After Merlin passed, someone actually said that to me, when I was grieving conspicuoulsy and tears came. I guess they thought they were being comforting and realistic. There are some people who just "don't get it" I guess. Same people who ask "so when are you going to get another dog?" Would you say to someone who lost a best friend to old age "so, who is going to be your new best friend?" Another unfeeling response in my book, since when to get another dog is also a very personal decision. Thanks for letting me share those thoughts. And to any of you out there who are faced with the decision - and we all know we will probably be there at some point, unfortunately - to help our friends to that bridge at the end, you will indeed know when the appropriate time is. You just have to know how to listen with your heart. And it will be the right decision at the right time. Guinevere's Dad, Kevin Z. |
| Thank You Kevin.
Here I am in my 40's and I feel like a young teenager asking people "when will I know that I'm in Love". Everybody's answer then was "You'll know it when you are", everyone's answer now is "You'll know when the time is right." I had a hard time accepting that then, and I guess I haven't changed much in the last quarter century. But this time the answer seems so much harder to accept... |
| I am trying to type this through my tears on reading the post yesterday and today. I had a male OES who lived to be 15 years old and he could not walk for the last 4 or 5 years. I kept him clean and in the house with me. We even bought him a doggie wheelchair to keep his back legs up to walk . This lasted a few years and he was happy. The vet said he would be gone a long time ago if I had not been the owner. I don't know about that but I loved my sheepdog. I said I would keep him until I felt he was in pain. When he got a bedsore was what I called it, I knew it was time. That was a very sad and unhappy time for me but I am sure he was happy at the Rainbow Bridge where he could run and play. I am thankful to have found this website now to help with these decisions and know they are right.
Lila |
| Hi,
This is in reply to Ron's message about Jake. We are in a similar situation here. As a quick background, Harry is a 10-1/2 year old OES rescue, who was turned over to us by his 2nd owner in late July of last year. Just two weeks before he was turned over to us, he had been hit by a car and had NOT been taken to the vet. Apparently, on that same day, Harry had also gotten entangled in barbed wire and and extricated himself somehow -- and had many scars from that. Anyway, Harry came to us with many problems, many of which we have already taken care of (surgery, medications, etc.). His main problem, however, is his hind legs, or is "rear half". It was thought, at first, that the car accident had caused neurological damage, but the vet now thinks Harry's problem is his spinal chord, that the spinal chord is "dying off". The condition will continue to move up his spine. He is ever increasingly losing the use of his hind legs. Because of this, he is peeing and pooping where he lays. I don't mind cleaning it up, but the urine is causing Harry to scald. Today he looked more raw than ever. We try to keep him clean and dry, but we can only do as much as we can do. He wants to be everywhere with us, which means going up and down stairs, which he can't do on his own now. He needs help to go up and down stairs. He is walking ever shorter and shorter distances before he reaches the point where he just can't stand anymore. Although some might think that this "rear half" problem is indication enough that it is time to put Harry to sleep, his front half is indicating just the opposite! Harry is alert and happy, sweet and loving, eating and drinking normally. And he isn't in pain. I am considering the use of diapers .... not to contain Harry's urine, but to actually help in treating his urine scalding. If Harry is in diapers, I can then put Desitin on his scalding (just as on a baby or toddler) -- and Harry can't lick it off! His scalded areas might be able to heal then. I will obviously have to clean Harry up if using diapers, as you must clean a baby, but we love Harry dearly and so won't mind the task. The vet feels that 'euthanasia' for Harry is nearing. And I'm sure it is, but I'm just not sure that now is 'the time'. I want to do what's best for Harry, though. It's hard to judge 'quality of life' -- Harry is generally 'stuck' in one place right now, while lying down, because of the weakening of his hind legs. And he's not all that ambulatory when he's standing up; he can topple over very easily.... But his first owner, we were told, physically abused Harry (first 8 years of Harry's life) and kept him outdoors in a cage-type enclosure 24 hours a day. This was in Albuquerque. Harry's second owner, the owner who turned him over to us, generally neglected Harry (for 1-1/2 years). So, you see, we are apparently the first household who has genuinely loved and cared for Harry. And how we do love him. And if you could only see the love in Harry's eyes for us. Anyway, today was a particularly difficult day for Harry, and subsequently, for me. I particularly strugged with "The Question" today.... We were at the vets' today with Harry and we talked at length with our vet. .... I'm not convinced it's Harry's 'time' yet -- and so, after much inner turmoil today, I've decided NOT to give up trying to make Harry's last weeks, months, or years the most comfortable and loved of his life. I only hope I'm making the right decision for Harry. Robyn Berry |
| This is in response to Ron's question, When is Enough, Enough. Firstly, I must say emotion knows no gender and a man has every right to grieve, with or without tears. If you don't allow yourself to do so, one day your emotions will just appear and you'll have no idea what you're being emotional about; the healing takes so much longer if you don't allow yourself that.
In July, our 13-1/2 year old sheepie, Mulligan sat down and never got up again. He passed away 21AUG01. During that seven week struggle with the thought of losing him, should we or should we not put him down etc. we cared for him as we always had. Lots of people said we should consider putting him down, others had no opinion at all. He still wagged his butt when we walked in the door and gobbled up his food and treats with great pleasure followed by a nice fresh bowl of water to wash it down; all brought to him by me or my husband. Yes, there were diapers and tiddy wipes and baby powder to avoid urine burn. After eating and diaper changes, there would be rolling over on his back and air biking (throwing his legs around as if he was riding a bike upside down). He continued to entertain himself and us as if nothing was wrong and this was all completely normal. I moved him from room to room on what we called a Magic Carpet Ride - he would roll over and I would slip a fresh blanket under him and pull him from room to room on the blanket. On Saturdays, I would slide him onto the outdoor deck for some sunshine and a bath. Yes, every day there was question as to whether we were doing the right thing but he wasn't in pain and caring for him had always been all consuming - we loved him, he was our forever dog and still is. I had several chats with him just letting him know that I was ready when he was and that I would be very sad but willing to let him go when he was ready and if necessary, would have a third party come in if I ever felt he needed the help letting go. One night, he was ready. He didn't eat and we knew it was his time. I pulled him into our bedroom that evening, we went to bed and a couple hours into our night, he made a noise alerting us he was leaving. My husband curled up with him on the floor and felt him take his last breath, then covered him with his blanket until morning. For us, that was when enough, was enough. I've read your post and you must know I feel your pain but don't feel that people will judge you for the decisions you make. Enough is Enough when you say it is. This was a very difficult letter to write but if it helps anyone just a little, it will have been worth it to me. Miriam Schaefer |
| Lila, Robyn, Miriam -
Thank you for sharing your stories with all of us. I think that, male or female you are exactly right - there must be time to grieve for our pets and there is absolutely nothing "wrong" with that. If people don't understand the tears we shed, that is their loss. I think that is what is truely amazing about these stories, is the amount of love with which they are told. It is easy to love a dog when they are playful puppies, running and jumping (and chewing everything in site as Guinney has taken to doing these days) and just...being puppies. But as that love grows more mature, and the years go on, it can get a little harder. Yet, I know from what you all have said, and what I have felt, that it is an even deeper love for these sweet animals. Their happiness and comfort is paramount in our minds, and it is difficult to know where that ends and our selfishness begins. When you are doing things for them for your benefit and not theirs, you know that in your heart, I think. Then it is indeed time to help them cross that bridge to the other side. And understanding that this kind of love could only be "on loan" and that we have to cherish each and every day that we have with them, because in the end it is a very short "loan of love." Bless all of you for sharing. You have touched my heart. Guinevere's Dad, Kevin Z.[/b][/i] |
| Hi Kevin,
My husband and I have just put our 15 year old "pound-sheepie-puppy" to sleep. Our loss is deep and unyielding. Sherwood was "my" dog, but he ended up greatly impacting my husband more. Sherwood was on Rimadyl, thyroid, allergy, and antibiotics (for a potential bladder tumor); and I made hamburger, rice and pasta for him every week for his stomach allergies. He needed a bath once a week and half way through the week for a quick wipe down. He had not been able to use the stairs for 4-5 years due to a herniated disk, which he did recover from, nearly. I can tell you of two times in Sherwoods' life that I heard him cry in pain. The rest of the time, never a hint of pain crossed his handsome black lips. My vet said some very important things to me...Sherwood was tired and he wanted to be released from his crippled body. And yes, he was in pain, he just wouldn't let me know. It's just not their way to show the pain. Take the rose colored glasses off and really look at your sweetie. Are her eyes weary, have they lost their sparkle? Are you really just putting off the inevitable? You are the caretaker of his physical, as well as spiritual being. When I said goodbye to him, I knew he was going to a better place. And I'll be honest with you, I have a lighter heart as a result of my decision to let him go. I didn't realize the stress I was under in trying to manage my dogs illnesses. We made the decision and without delay, the next day we took him to the vet. My husband and I were there with him to say goodbye; it's a really sad memory of him, but we did it for Sherwood. We have decided to get another dog. Sherwood had such presence that the house is eriely quiet; I can't stand it. My husband wants another Sheepie. I am afraid to do it again. I'll keep you in my thougts, best wishes to you. Dana |
| Dana,
Thanks for that wonderful story. I'm so sad for your loss. If you want another pound-sheepie (and there's nothing like them) please adopt another one! Can I recommend you call Grannie Annie at 781-259-8173? She is the BEST in finding homes for sheepies and vice-versa. Tell her BillW from the oes.org forum sent you. Not that it would get you anything.  |
| Dana -
I am so sorry and send my deepest sympathies on the loss of your little one, Sherwood. He sounds like he was a wonderful friend, and I thank you so much for sharing your stories. It sounds like you had a wonderful vet who helped you make the decision to help Sherwood on his journey to the Rainbow Bridge a little easier on all of you. That is a great blessing. I know of the unearthly quiet around a house after the loss of a sheepie, and hope that - in your own time - you will again decide to fill it with the wonderful (and sometimes, let's face it, NOT so wonderful!) sounds of a sheepie puppy. I also understand the thought of how difficult it may be to welcome another sheepdog into your life. But if I may speak from experience, each one has a totally different personality. When we lost Merlin a year and a half ago, I thought about what it would be like to have a different breed of dog. Friends would bring their dogs over, and they were all fine....they just weren't a sheepdog. It is a very personal choice, certainly, as to which breed you are "owned by." And my fear was the same - that it would be too sad of a reminder of the wonderful 12 years we had with Merlin. But from the day that Guinevere came into our lives, just last summer, I have felt that we are honoring Merlin's memories and making new ones every day that she is with us. She is certainly not a replacement, she is a new memory that grows and flourishes each and every day in her own unique way. So take the time to grieve now - as much as you and your husband need. One thing that helped me and my wife was to find all the pictures we had of Merlin when we came home without him after taking him to the vet. There were many tears that fell on those pictures that day, but there were smiles too. My wife does scrapbooking, and a few weeks later, she did a special page for Merlin. I still look at those pictures and smile now, without the tears. Well...most of the time. But it is nice to have a sheepie sitting next to me at those times, who licks them away and then wants to play fetch with her rubber chicken! Much white light to you and your family in these moments. Know that Sherwood is sitting peacefully under a big shade tree now, very near the Rainbow Bridge, waiting patiently for you. And smiling. Guinevere's Dad, Kevin Z. |
| Dear June, Kevin, Lila, Robyn and Miriam,
Thank you all for your kind words and heartwrenching stories. I have gone through a few kleenex re-reading your replies today. I am Jake's mom (and Ron's wife). Jake is still hanging in, though he has more difficulty in walking, or really knowing where his back paws are when he walks. He still loves to eat and surprised us a few weeks ago by surfing the kitchen table - we didn't think he could reach it anymore. Jake got some good cookies! (Needless to say, no food is left on the kitchen table anymore!) His enthusiasm has diminished quite a bit for going for a walk and they are only 5-10 minutes long. His head and ears still perk up at the mention of going for a ride, but not as much as before. The current April/May showers do not help his disposition, since he has always disliked getting wet and the dampness definitely affects his arthritis. We still do not know the answer to the question. I fear it is approaching soon, but we have been saying this since last September, and he is still here. We do not want to prolong his discomfort nor do we want to prematurely shorten his life. Jake does love to be near us and we him. Thank you again for listening. Joan |
| Dear Joan and Ron -
I am continuing to be thankful that Jake is still with you. I know that sometimes, it seems like these wonderful beasts just become the "elders" of the family, and need a little more care and patience than they used to. I'm sure that you are in contact with your vet to keep a watch on how much pain the arthritis is causing him and getting him the proper medications. But as long as he seems happy to you and does not seem to be in any real pain, I think it is like an older family member who is not as "young" as they used to be, and you just have to resign yourself to the fact that they cannot do all that they used to do. We all get a little bit older and a little bit slower. As I've mentioned before - I would have been happy to continue to give Merlin the Magnificent his daily medicine and help him up off the floor for as long as he needed me to. He could have anything he wanted - and one day he asked me, in his own way, for the ultimate gift of love. You will know when that request is made of you, and you will be strong for Jake. I can tell from the way that both your heart speaks of him. You will definately know, my friend, when you listen with your heart. But until that moment arrives, treasure the time and times you have with your baby, and remember every moment! My best thoughts and much continued white light to all of you. Guinevere's Dad, Kevin Z. |
| Dear Joan and Ron:
Our OES, Shakespeare, recently crossed over due to osteosarcoma. We got him a wheelchair/cart for the last month of his life and he loved it (we did have to move some of the furniture around so he could get around the house without too much difficulty). He needed the wheelchair since he couldn't use his back leg (one leg had to be amputated due to the cancer). He was able to run around the yard, take walks with our other dog and even chase squirrels, much to the squirrels dismay. The wheelchair made it much easier for him to eat and to join the rest of the family. I would strongly recommend one of these to anyone whose dog needs a little walking assistance. I just wish that I has learned about them earlier. Although we miss him a lot, we do not have any regrets about the actions we took to make him more comfortable. It's amazing how much they hold your heart. Our thoughts are with you. Jennifer |
| Hi Joan and Ron, I hope Jake is doing well. My sheepie, my sweetheart Maggie, passed over the bridge this past May. Anal sac adenocarcinoma that had spread to her lymph nodes and lungs. She was diagnosed in January after I found a lump. She spend a day going through medical and a day in oncology at the University of Penn. Treatment suggested? Keep her comfortable, the disease spread too far to stop. she had 3 weeks to 6 months to live. She was put on peroxicam, and a drug for her stomach called cytotec. She never had any tummy problems with this combo.
About 6 days before she died, she could barely stand and appeared to have peripheral neropathy, she couldnt feel her legs and feet very well. She came to me and just stood there with her face agaainst my leg, she was telling me she had enough. I told everyone at work that when she passed, I was taking the following week off. Trouble was, I HAD to be at work that week. I made the appointment for Friday, May 24th at 8PM, last of the night. She could still stand up that Friday, but barely. I put a towel under her butt (she was getting incontinent the last 2 or 3 days) and wrapped her in a white sheet. I carried her to the car, a friend drove, we got to the vet. I had to fill out paperwork (different vet, mine was out of town). I handed the paperwork back, sat down next to Maggie and my friend, and there was drool under her mouth on the bench, but she rarely drooled. Maggie had passed over the bridge in the waiting room. My sweetheart saved me of the one thing I dreaded doing. Maggie was never in any pain, so I had to look at qualiy of life. The last few weeks I slept downstairs with her, she stopped coming upstairs a month before she passed. I knew what was coming, but it didn't help. There is no way to prepare, but I believe they know when it's time. and they tell you in some way. Maggie was 12. Once I had a sheepie rescue named Daisey, rescued her in 1988 at 10 years old. She lived to be 14, she had to be put down due to painful cancer. I was neaarly inconsolable when she passed. The cure? An oes rescue named Maggie! This Saturday I am going to meet my (hopefully) next sheepie. She's 10 months old, her name is Hailey. I think Maggie would want it that way. |
| Patrick,
I can barely write through my tears. What a wonderful story. I know that Maggie and Daisey are playing togther in good health as they wait for you at the Rainbow Bridge. Bill |
| Dear Ron,my heart goes out to you and your loved ones. When I read about your sweet dog it brought me to tears, and I am still crying. My one and only sheepdog,(Bo,he had so many nicknames, and answered to each one!) was the most special dog of my life) and I do believe that all animals are special, but I think the sheepdogs are the best! And though I am not a I guess you would call a "religious fanatic", I am very spiritual, and Jesus was a shephard, and I think he must have had an old english to help him out.
Our beloved would let me put hats and clothes on him to take his picture(he was a big ham!) and he lived to be 11 years, with arthritis being his only knwon ailment. The decision you're trying hard to deal with right now, we had taken out of our hands. My sweetheart had a stroke while I was at work, and my dad called me to tell me. He waited until I was home to tell me and I was so hurt, because I had wanted to say good-by and the end, and it was taken away from me. I went to work the next day, at a fairly new job, and tried very hard to"just get through it" but by mid-afternoon it was too much and I lost it. Luckily for me, my supervisor understood, and let me be alone, and I went home and grieved for my best friend. But for others, it is not that quick, and if I knew then what I know now, I would do exactly what you are, I would go to the ends of the earth to save my friend, to do shatever it took to keep him near me, as long as he looked happy, and still had that special spark. Not long after that job, I worked as a veterinarian's assistant, and have seen firsthand chemo, and found it to be not as hard on the animals as it is on people. Most times they don't even realize that they're as sick as they are, and the pets that came to stay with us those 2 or 3 days(this was back in the early 90's) I would shower with love and attention, as did most of my co-workers, and when one dog, not an old english, wouldn't eat, I snuck next door to McDonalds to get him a burger. The owner said sometimes that was all he wanted. But just love him, and know in your heart that your friend knows how much you care, and when you see that sparkle in his eyes start to fade, your heart will know what to do. Don't let anyone else tell you"oh it is only a dog" or things like that, I've seen dogs that loved their little carts, and the mobility it gave them, and I used to hear the same things that I'm sure you are now. If he can handle the meds, than I would use them. But if he can't, maybe the vet can give him something that he can handle. I wounldn't give up unless everything had been tried. These guys are so special, we only have them for so little time, it just dosn't seem fair, but that is probably so we will love them and apreciated what they give us, and never take that for granted. And you really are a special person to do so much for your friend. And you know, if and when he does cross that bridge, he carries you with him in spirit. And I know firsthand what that emptiness and that void can do to a person, and in time, you might want to fill it with a new friend, never to replace the old, that can never happen, but your grieving heart will need something to hold on to, and when the time is right, you might consider it, especially if you have kids. The new friend will help them to see that life can go on, that Jake would never want his beloved family to hurt and grieve, and that he will be waiting for them, someday, across that rainbow bridge. May God bless you and help you through this, my prayers are with you and your family, I hope my rattling didn't offend you, or hurt you more. But I loved my "Beau Brummel" and I still miss him to this day, and it has been 15 years, and the one thing that keeps my mind off him, is that I have adopted so many other things that were "dumped" and one day again, when I have the resources, I will have another old english sheepdog! |
| Well, where do I begin?
As some of you know, and the rest will now learn, Joan, Jake and I have been on a cross-country trip in our motorhome since November 15th, 2002. Jake is now 13 years 3 months old. He can no longer get off of the floor on his own. Sometimes we get him up to get water, and sometimes we bring the water to him. He is also extremely hard of hearing. He CAN hear... if we yell. He will reluctantly go for his walks three times a day, though now they are just long enough for him to do his business. He falls several times each walk. He is still completely continent, though he did have an accident a few days ago, and today he hasn't "done his duty", and we are concerned he might have an accident tonight. (He's always been a twice-daily dog). Even though he still gets very excited about food, we think he is no longer happy in general. He struggles to go for his walks, but he doesn't really want to. So, I wish I had better news, but the good news is that Jake has made this wonderful trip with us so far. He made it to Key West, Florida, and to Texas (He loved the leftovers there!) and Arizona, and even a day trip to California. But it doesn't look like he's going to make it to Alaska. As I write this, Joan and I are discussing our options with Jake. We think we've decided (maybe an hour ago) to let Jake go, but we are in Arizona, about 2600 miles away from home. We are talking about making an appointment for euthanasia with the local Humane Society, but it's 10PM here and they aren't open, so we haven't called. We don't know if they offer return of ashes. We'd like to bring him home for burial. (I've often "threatened" Grannie Annie that I was going to have Jake stuffed and mounted so he can continue our journey looking out the windshield of the RV... She was never quite sure if I was kidding of I was serious, but I'll tell her now: I was always just kidding. I'm sure she'll be relieved.)
Back to a more someber note, I don't think I can be with Jake during the procedure. Joan wants to be with him, and I would like to be there to support her, but.... Does anyone have experience with being present? Specifically, I was wondering if there is anyone out there who was very squeamish about going in, but did anyway. Anyone know a local, caring vet here in Tucson? Thanks. -Ron, Joan and the Energizer Sheepie, Jake. |
| Oh, Ron, I'm so sorry! Hugs to everyone... I wish I could help you but I have no experience in this. Just wanted to say I was sorry...
Suzanne |
Same here.  |
| Ron -
I am so sorry to hear about all this. I have sent you a personal response, please let me know that you got it. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Joan. Much white light comes your way today. Kevin Z. |
| Thanks Kevin, guest and Suzanne. Your words are comforting.
Yes, Kevin, I did just receive your email. Thank you very much. Well, we're here in Flagstaff, Arizona now. Jake has improved somewhat, and seems to be doing a little bit better. Maybe he knew what Joan and I have been talking about. We're near Sedona, AZ and we're going to look into some alternative treatments or other comfort measures. We'll be sure to keep you all posted. Thanks again, Ron, Joan and the Wobbly Wonder. |
| Dear Ron,
As few thing first, this is the greatest web site. I got my OES Bunker in May of 2002. She has taught us alot, especially patience. I know how you are feeling and how heartbreaking it is. 9 years ago this August we put our cocker/terrier down. I had had Tara since I was 4. On my 18th birthday and Christmas time, she couldn't stand, let alone walk so we took her to the vet, he did some tests and the results were that her eardrum was disintergrating and put her on some meds. We had to watch her close for a few weeks (keeping her away from stairs) and she got better for awhile. That August she stopped eating for 4 days, no matter what we offered her cheese, pizza her favorite she would not take it. So we took her back to the vet and he did a spinal tap. We knew that the end was coming but when you have grown up with this dog you want to do everything in your power to make her well again. When he called with the results the look on my Mom's face told us there was nothing else they could do, she had a form of Doggie's Alhimerze. We picked her up from the vets so we could have one last night with Tara as a family. It was like she knew and you could tell from the look in her eyes that it was time to go. We took her back to the vets the next day, thank goodness that our vet was so awesome he asked if we wanted to be in the room and of course we all did (except my Dad, he wouldn't even come to the vets). The vet laid a fluffy soft blanket on the table, left us alone for a few more minutes, Tara just kissed us all and he came back in and saved a spot on her leg and explain what he was going to do and what was going to happen. He gave her a neddle in the leg and in less that 2 minutes she was gone. ( I am having a hard time writting this throught my tears because it still hurts, it was like losing a sibling). It just looked like she was sleeping (but her eyes were open, my mom kept pushing them down). She looked so at peace. It was a really hard choice to make, but you know it was worth all of the pain and tears to be in that room at that moment, so she knew that she had people she loved with her. 
People think we are strange because my sister, brother and I refused to leave the vets office until my Mom paid to have Tara cremated and have her ashes returned, she now sits on the bookcases inbetween our family picture. My dad has said that when he dies we are to take his ashes, Tara's and their new puppy (she's  ashes and mix them together and sprinkle them at the cabin.
Ron, I know that to make the choice is so hard but I know that if I had made the choice not to be in room with her I would have regretted in for the rest of my life. Cherish your time together. My heart and prayers are with you guys. Give Jake a huge hug and kiss for me. Please keep us posted. |
| Friday, February 7th, 2003 Enough was Enough.
We contacted one of our fellow NEOESR members who lives in Las Vegas, and asked him for a referral to a vet. He directed us to his vet, "Dr. Mark", at the Lakeview Animal Hospital. Among other feelings of guilt about making this decision, I felt bad about bringing a strange animal to a new Vet just for this procedure. On this day, we went for "ride in the truck" one of Jakes favorite things. We spent the last hour with Jake in a park (actually a parking lot to an office building, but it had trees and GRASS and bushes, almost like back home in Massachusetts in the Springtime!). We shared some Wendy's burgers on a blanket, and then went for another "ride in the truck" around until it was time to go into the hospital. Dr. Mark spent about an hour with us, first examining Jake, then helping us to reach our decision. Jake was catheterized and returned to the exam room. I said my goodbyes and stepped out of the room just prior to the injection, while Joan stayed with Jake. This was the right decision for all three of us. Joan tells me that the procedure was very peaceful, and she didn't know that Jake had passed on until Dr. Mark told her that he was gone. I stepped back into the room just after Jake had passed on, and said my goodbyes, too. Dr. Mark was so good to us. Thank you again, Dr. Mark. You made this experience easier for a couple who is so far away from home. After we arrived back to our motorhome without Jake we saw one of our neighbors walking her black Cocker Spaniel "Sadie". (We are, of course, parked in the "Dog Owners Section" of the campground). Joan and I said hello to Sadie, and the lady asks "How is your dog doing?" I tried to answer but I choked up, and Joan burst into tears. When I was able to speak, I told her where we had just come from. She expressed sympathy and mentioned that she had seen Jake struggling this morning. She repeatedly apologized as Joan and I regained our composure and doted on her little Sadie. Joan and I figure that we loused up her evening, too. We didn't mean to! Talk about bad timing! And we thanked her profusely for letting us rub her dog. We also want to thank everyone who has expressed their opinions and offered their support over the last year. We wouldn't have wanted to go through this without your help. Jake's Memorial page can be seen at http://www.oes.org/html/jake.html |
| Oh, Ron! I'm so sorry! I'm sitting here in tears. I came to the forum to look for new messages and when I saw you had posted I was hoping for good news but had the feeling it wouldn't be...
Big hugs to you and Joan. Suzanne |
| Ron & Joan,
I am so sorry for your loss. I have enjoyed reading your Jake stories and know how much he was loved. Although I know how hard it was for you, I also know that Jake appreciates you final act of love. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Ann |
| Ron, there are no words anyone can ever say that seem to fit how you must feel.
But hear me out with what i say I myself have just had to make that same old descision. My beloved Jessica (a Beardie Collie) of 12 and a bit years, was diagnosed with cancer of the liver. She spent the past 9 months of her life at home, very rarely going out for her usual walk...she was such a fit dog prior to her illness. Unfortunately we all have to make that call at some point or another when our partners fall ill, i use the word partner because that is indeed what they are. The Beardie and OES are very closely related as you may well know, and share the best of each others traits. No other dog in the world will ever replace the one you have just lost and i grieve with you. Please accept our regards and sympathy and pass the message on to your family. From this event i studied my life long and hard, it has now been 2 very long months since my Jessica fell asleep in my arms. I find it so strange, but as an ex-royal marine serving my country in conflicts all over the globe, i could kill a human with consumate and relative ease, i hunt without feeling but i cried for days at the loss of my dog and spent tortuous days deliberating the descision i had to make. The bond with which we make with our furry friends stays for our entire life and lest we never forget our partners. Like i say it has been 2 long months and winter is closing in here in the UK but news from our camp is a 2 week old bundle of fun (which has no name as yet) which we went to visit last night and promptly fell in love with. She has 3 other brothers and 5 sisters. So we are waiting now for the 9th week to arrive so we can go and pick her up, we decided not to have another Beardie because nothing would or could ever replace her, so an Old English was our choice. I made the descision when i lost Jessica, never to put myself through that again, but i found myself lost without my walking partner, my wife feels the same as does my 9 year old son. I miss (as you undoubtably do) the warm welcome no matter what your mood, your dog seems never to care about your bad moods, they forgive. I missed being able to talk to the only other sane member of my family when times were bad....as she used to cock her head to one side and listen so patiently to my winging and moaning....and she never judged me for it. We had good and bad times together and our family has been a better place to be when she was here. It has been a long road we all travelled together, she arrived the month after i married my wife and was my friend, She watched my son arrive in this world, she saw my wife and i cry at the loss of our first born....she saw the birth of our second son and was his best friend, she actually looked after him and slept under his cot, then his bunk bed as he grew up. I watched them as they played and never did i think the day would come when she wasnt here with us any more. But the wind of time moves on and ages pass....(words by R Jordan) and never is it more poiniant at his junction my life, as i am sure it is in yours at this sad time. We made the right move for us, we now have a positive and beautifull thing to remember, and a glorious future with our new addition when she arrives. I too wonder, if she will sit looking at the Oak casket sitting above our fireplace wondering who's ashes it is in there 
Ron and Joan, Above all, remember that your beloved Jake will always live on in your memories and stories....you will never be alone. Kindest regards Andy H |
| This is in reply to Robyn Berry's posting. I have a twelve year old, Old English and he has developed a bad problem with urination every half hour or so. He had bladder stones which were removed but ever since the surgery this problem has occurred. We live in a very upscale apartment building in New York City and the doormen were getting annoyed that Dreyfus would relieve himself in front of the building before reaching the curb. I devised an invention whereby I got gallon size baggies that zip lock, put a shoe lace through the top of the bad (Through the width at the top. I then fit the bag loosely over his area and I tie the bag around him. When he urinates I untie it, zip it, and throw it away. This saves out floors from urine stains, the doormen are happy and Dreyfus doesn't seem to mind a bit! He licks me while I'm putting the bag on. |
| Dear Jake,
Today is the two year anniversary of your passing. We miss you. 15,588 people have looked at your "Hot Jake" picture on oes.org, 12,508 people have looked at your "More Jake" page, and 2,363 people have read your "memorial". Mulligan is playing with all of the toys you left for him. In fact, he actually enjoys playing with toys; you could have cared less. His favorite is chewing on and tug-o-war with the big white rope. We may be sending your old plastic newspaper up for you to read soon. It's getting a bit difficult to read and a little bit dog-eared. >:o)
We've taught him to speak on command, but no sheepie ever vocalized quite like you did, Jake. You could whimper, speak and howl on command, but only in that order! 
You passed along all of your very best traits to Mulligan, but we could use a little help in the "pulling on the leash" department. Could you put in a word with him for us? Thanks. |
| Dear Jake,
Altough we never met you, the picture where you are sitting in a rock in full coat, and the one where your hair is braided were the inspiration for us to get Lennon and adopt Sofa and Frida. We want to thank you for making Ron a happy guy and helping Danita overcome her fear to dogs. We will be lighting a candle for you today. Take good care on the rainbow bridge!! Danita, Saul, Lennon, Sofa & Frida. |
| I know I certainly enjoyed Jake's memorial too and I'm glad you're sharing the love to your new sheepie boy.
And I'm sorry that I share the same anniversary date a year later with the loss of Newman. What a bummer. Feb is not a good month in my book anymore. |
| Dear Jake,
You have been such an inspiration to thousands through your life and then with your passing. You inspired Ron and Joan to start this site as a tribute to you, which in turn has helped hundreds of sheepie owners with their sheepies. Not only that, this site has also been responsible for saving the lives and rescuing sheepies that otherwise might not have been saved if not for you. Jake, I hope you are in sheepie heaven playing with Newman, Shaggy (she'll try to boss you around but pay no attention as she's really lovable but crotchety) and all the others whom have passed the Rainbow Bridge. Just today someone viewed Jakes picture and remarked how much Panda resembles you and I think you're a pretty good guy to emulate. Your mom and dad will never forget you and neither will all those you've helped as a result of your life. Thank you Jake. Marianne and the boys |
| Ron,
I am so sorry to hear about Jake! That is a very hard choice for all of us. I just had to put my beloved cat, Oscar, down due to a sudden illness. I know I made the right choice for Oscar. However, I think Jake will let you know when it is his time to cross rainbow bridge. In the meantime, take joy in your family's time with Jake. |
| How I cried when I read this....sorry this is late, but it stirred up too many memories. I have also had to go thru this with 2 dogs (age almost 15 and the other 10 years). They have such special places in my heart. |
| Ron...were still here and still remembering.
Salute to all OES's |
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