Sunless Tanning Hiccup! Don't let this happen to you! :)

OMG-- OMG-- OMG!!!

OK-- I read a post from oes mommy about her experience with a new self tanner from QVC.. and, she mentioned a brush to apply the lotion.

:idea:

Humm... I thought. A brush. A sponge paint brush will work. No mess on the hands, smooth application, like painting the walls I thought. I was going to PM Oes mommy and ask a few questions, but didn't want to bother her , given her recent injury.

So- I move ahead with vigor. I just need a little extra color on my legs. Everything else is already pretty brown from the sun, but, might as well do my WHOLE body!

"This brush idea is going to work out great".

I have already prepared myself for the on- set of questions I will receive about my glowing tan. Is it real? Spray tan? What product did you use?

No, I will reply. It was a great idea I had. I put the lotion on with a cheap, sponge type paint brush. My hands have no stains I say, as I show off my white tipped nails. They will clap and hug me, and go out to buy the same products I used.

I may even be on the cover of Good Housekeeping, as the inventor of the next best thing, after sliced bread.

I exfoliate, and prepare my tray.

Good self tanner- check
Brush- Check
Lotion for around the knees and ankles- check

I apply the products. Oh- this is so easy. And quick. Again, Goodhousekeeping comes to mind. Or-- maybe even Glamour, if I dare to dream.

After the lotions are applied, I wait a few minutes, and then dress in a skirt and cute little summer top. We are going out, and I want to show off my golden glow.

We arrive at a restaurant and meet up with a few friends. No one says anything. Well, it has only been and hour or so, I tell myself. And it is rather dark where we are.

We are having a good time, and I am throwing my head around , laughing , confident that I am bronzed and beautiful by now.

In walks my brother and sister-in-law. Heidi gives me a funny look, and Brad says, "Have you been crying"

NO! 'Why do you ask"?

"Because your make-up is all streaked"

Oh dear. I excuse myself and go to the ladies room. As I examine the damage, I wonder if there is a window I could hoist myself through. I am ORANGE and STREAKED beyond words. My arms- my face- my legs- my feet. I look like I have been dipped in a paint bucket, hung up , and allowed to drip dry. Large streaks--- oh, I am sick just writing about it.

I call John on his cell phone, from the ladies room, and tell him to meet me outside.

He doesn't put up a fuss, so I know he already knows.... (again, sick to my stomach)

He meets me outside and, busts out laughing when he sees the whole view.

We laugh so hard that people think we are crazy. A tiger striped crazy woman.

What to do??? Well, might as well fess up. Back in we go, and I have no option than to draw attention to myself, and tell the group about my self tanning mishap. Funny, they had already guessed. :oops:

They had fun at my expense the rest of the evening. :evil:

I have scrubbed myself silly today, but still have some "removing" to do.

I have given up on self tanners, and along with that, being on the cover of Glamour. I may be on the inside in the "Do's and Don't "section though. Oh- and John has had fun with a stupid knock - knock joke all day.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
ORANGE you glad that stuff strubs off... :rimshot:

Don't quit your day job John because funny you're not :roll:

Respond to this topic here on forum.oes.org

don't worry you're not the first and won't be the last to have that experience!

omg , I'm sorry for laughing but that and the way you told it is soooo funny :lol:

I shall resist the urge to burst into uncontrollable laughter -- until after I click on Submit.

Bwahahahahahahah oh well, I tired :twisted:

Thanks for sharing!

oh no Ihad to send mine back. it started to stain my legs and arms terrible. any place i had a scare it turned very darkits benn 3 weeks and i still can't get it off. i have liver spots on my arms and legs (age) and they are dark too. never again will i do this................

Now that I've stopped hurting myself laughing, aren't there two different types of self tanners? One that is a sort of dye and another that actually stimulates the production of melanin?

If I recall correctly, which did you use?

That was so well told, I can picture you perfectly :lol:

Just go with the tiger look, it might catch on!

jean wrote:

:excited: omg , I'm sorry for laughing but that and the way you told it is soooo funny :lol:

me too ...although I was laughing the second I read the topic title!

Lori thanks for the "roar" this morning. :lol:

I never thought I would ever use this phrase but "I hope your tan fades quickly." (ps. thanks for the heads up on the self tanner.)

Lori, thankfully I didn't have coffee in my mouth

I hope the spots fade quickly.

Lori, you are SUCH a great story teller! :popcorn:

I was almost in tears laughing, just picturing you throwing your head around thinking you looked bronze and beautiful! Thanks for warning us all!

Oh, poor Lori, but that was hilarious...

Do you think it was the self tanner you used or your patented method?

Oh no! No, you really have to work that stuff in, massaging it, otherwise it can be disastrous-- as you now know!

Oh Lori!! Your skills as a story teller far surpass your skills as a self-tanner applicator. :yay:

Thanks for the belly laugh!! :lol:

Having "been there, done that" I, too, have vowed NEVER AGAIN to self tanning lotions. It's just not worth it. :twisted:

barney1 wrote:

Oh, poor Lori, but that was hilarious...

Do you think it was the self tanner you used or your patented method?

The self tanner is Lancome, and came highly recommended. It was the "brush". Like Jill said, it needs to be rubbed in -- not painted on. It sure sounded like such a good idea at the time.

Ron-- it was the type that works with your body chemistry to achieve that wonderful bronze look. I just called the company, and , it looks like I have 4-7 days of this embarrasment. I got another product yesterday afternoon that gives color, but washes off. I am trying to cover my blunder.

John says for all the money I have spent on self tanners, removers, bronzers , lotions and such, I could have jetted to St. Thomas for the weekend. Smarty pants. :evil:

Lori, go and get yourself a cheap finely gritted scrub, like that St Ives Microdermabrasion Scrub. It's made for your face but it will be good for this purpose.

http://www.stives.com/skin-care-product ... rasion.cfm

The more you can exfoliate, the faster you'll get rid of it and the smaller, but strong, grit will help take it off more evenly than a heavily gritted scrub and it won't exfoliate so harshly that it'll remove too many layers of skin at once.

**********SIGH********************

when will you girls learn????? the ONLY way to get a non streak fake tan is to immediately apply regular good old fashion lotion to all the areas that you ''tanned".....rub in well and take a damp cloth and wipe off elbows, knees and ankles...also wash your hands thouroughly!

Darcy wrote:

Thank you for the advise Darcy...I had been thinking about trying a "faux" tan in the next few weeks but after Lori and Deana's experience had second thoughts. Now I can go forward "orange" free.

Darcy wrote:

Are you SURE?????????????????????

Darcy wrote:

With the new self tanners, you really don't even need to do that anymore because they're so moisturizing. The old kind didn't blend as well on their own and I remember someone recommending the lotion method years ago.

ButtersStotch wrote:

Darcy wrote:

I agree. The key is to really rub it in, all directions and avoid rough areas (elbows, heels knees, etc) and WASH your palms, and between fingers!!

Of course you could just go with nylons.... or the Bernadette Peters look.

http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/dailyl ... peters.jpg
http://yayayanonono.files.wordpress.com ... ters-2.jpg

Hey..... It just dawned on me.... where are the pics, Lori? :twisted:

Abuckie wrote:

Darcy wrote:

Are you SURE?????????????????????

cross my heart and hope to die (well, not really....but you get the jist)...and yeah, where are the pics??

jill, i agree that there is a lot of moisturizer in them, but if you add plain lotion afterward, it decreases the chance of streaking even more

Thanks for the entertainment with breakfast.
I started laughing when I read the topic too. :lol:

But you tell a GREAT story.
And hey, 7-10 days it could be worse.

Not to highjack your thread but whenever you're feeling like wopping John and his jokes think of this.

My Mom's friend came walking up the front path wearing a head scarf. She NEVER wears a head scarf, very strange!

Her daughter had convinced her to try a do it yourself hair tint. Nice auburn colour.

They didnt read the packaging. It always worked well on the daughters very dark brown hair.

BUT, this lady has grey hair. The outcome - orange hair, very orange hair.

She rushed to her hairdresser to get it fixed and all he could do was use a toner to turn it into a faded orange and then told her she would have to wait about 12 WEEKS for it to grow out and he'd give her very short cut to get rid of the orange.

She was furious and rang the manufacturer to complain. They very politely pointed out that the packaging stated DO NOT use on grey hair. :oops:

OMG too funny... sorry... had to suck, but still.... :lol:

Ron wrote:

Hey..... It just dawned on me.... where are the pics, Lori? :twisted:

<sigh> I knew that was coming...

Let me get the camera and snap a few. There are still plenty of streaks left.. I do wish it was fall... the orange does not blend well with my summer wardrobe. Stay tuned for pictures.

Sooo funny and we want PHOTOS of the carrot striped girl

Oooh gotta luv those fake tans :roll:

Anyone remember the tan pills? They went off the market due to turning every nook and cranny of the body turning delightfull carrot orange including the whites of the eyes :roll:

Lori stay away from rabbits at the moment they might mistake you for a large carrot :wink:

lisaoes wrote:

:lol:

Sooo funny and we want PHOTOS of the carrot striped girl

Candy Stripers = hospital volunteers
Orange Stripers = OES Rescue Volunteers?

lisaoes wrote:

Lori stay away from rabbits at the moment they might mistake you for a large carrot :wink:

LOL

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you!

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