Dorothy H. Johnson, 1913 - 2009
Wolfie was a small white poodle mix of some sort who promptly snapped at and bit Jake on his snout, drawing blood. The Johnsons, Dorothy and Gordon, for some reason thought this was very funny. I never understood their reaction of laughing, but they were old. A year or two passed and so did Wolfie and Gordon. Somehow I found out that Dorothy was alone (her home was down the street and around a bend, and we were never even acquaintances apart from the "Wolfie Incident". Joan and I were already involved with care taking of one neighbor about halfway down the street; me cutting the lawn and trying to keep a few things tidy around the outside and Joan befriending and caring for her. I don't recall how, but I started to take care of Dorothy's mowing (and what a lawn! She had about an acre of grass out back) and taking care of just a handful of handyman type things. Joan and she became friendly. Turns out there had been some drama in Dorothy's life, about which we had been blissfully ignorant. Gordon was Dorothy's second husband, they had been married for about 13 years if I recall. Their home was in Gordon's name and was willed to his adult children. Just before his death, Gordon's children drained all of his monies from his bank accounts and upon his passing began evicting Dorothy. The town stepped in on Dorothy's behalf and -long story shorter- negotiated return of $80,000 and a life estate on the house for Dorothy. She had the right to the home until she passed. Dorothy still drove well, and asked me to help her buy a new car which I did. And thus the situation remained for years until Dorothy started to decline a bit. After 5 or 7 years (who can remember the exact timing of stuff?) she began to have a few accidents, and I'd see her driving down the middle of a two-way road. A neighbor actually saw her ignore the new (at least 2 year old) right-turn-only rule at the end of her street and just --without stopping-- drive straight across 6 lanes of 55 MPH state highway ... something needed to be done. Joan talked Dorothy into giving up the car, and began caring for her in the way a daughter would care for her aging mother; I won't go into the details, but if any of you have cared for an aging and failing parent, you'll understand. Daily visits with Jake then Mulligan, Doctor appointments and ER visits, and shopping and financial issues; helping her establish a will and a trust fund, Rehab stays, taking care of a "gift", a runt Maltese Dorothy received from a BYB. Eventually finding the best nursing facility and easing Dorothy into that facility full time about 3 years ago. Even then Joan didn't stop. Twice a week visits at the facility that was 15 or 20 miles away. Taking Dorothy out for dinner, or to go shopping, bringing in food requests. Birthday parties organized for Dorothy's friends and neighbors. Dorothy and Joan remained close friends. Dorothy told stories and had Joan blushing on occasion, and I gather that Joan returned the favor and although likely part of the discussion, I was not included in the chats. Probably better that way! Gordon's children eventually got wind of Dorothy's residence and physically commandeered her home. I promptly broke in and changed all the locks to deadbolts, and notified the police of the trespass. I talked with Dorothy about how she would like to approach it -- give it to them or fight tooth and nail. She chose the latter. We fought it out between us and their lawyer, we demanded a simple payment for the oil in the tank, about $500 at the time. They refused and sued. We hired a lawyer and fought. Eventually, they paid for the oil in the tank and for all of Dorothy's legal fees and Dorothy agreed to give up her stake in the home. The opportunity had passed them buy -- the house still sits empty and on the market with no interest, its value decreased by perhaps $75,000, all for the refusal to pay an elderly woman, the wife of your father, the value for the heating oil she had put in the tank. I suppose one reaps what they have sown. Dorothy turned 96 two weeks ago, but her health wasn't good enough for a party this year. Joan was very disappointed, but planned on rescheduling that party as soon as Dorothy rallied as usual. This week Joan was on a business trip by car about 500 miles away when the facility called to tell her that Dorothy was failing and asking for her. Joan drove back in time to visit with her for a few hours last night, but needed to leave as she was so exhausted. At 8:20 this morning, Dorothy passed away accompanied by a nurse holding her hand. Joan is working through her grief, making final arrangements as I type. |
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| Oh Ron...and especially Joan, I am so sorry. I think you remember I'm dealing with a similar situation with my 95 year old step mom. I know the joys, the frustrations and the anger giving this sort of care brings out in us. My step mom is not a blood relative of mine, and she and my dad did not marry until I was an adult, and she and I were never close...so, I am very surprised by the friendship she and I have cultivated, so late in life. I suspect it's very much like Joan and Dorothy's friendship. I know Joan must be heartbroken. Joan, I'm sending you a warm hug. And of course to you, Ron, too. You were a good boy taking care of the man chores for Dorothy. I can only imagine Dorothy and Gordon sitting in heaven and her telling him how good the two of you were to her. They are probably still laughing about the Jake/snout incident. I do believe in karma, and what goes around, comes around. As much as you did for Dorothy, I know you both received love and personal satisfaction in return, and that there will be a void in your lives. Thank you for being so good to someone who needed you.... Dorothy..ava shalom (rest in peace). |
| my condolences on your loss.
where is the angel icon when you need it? As you said, you reap what you sow. |
| I am so sorry for your & Joan's loss. Dorothy was very fortunate to have you as friends... |
That is so sad. I hope her relatives get what they deserve. It sounds like they deserve a lot... 
The home I am working in (homecare client) has a wonderful plaque with a quote on it that I love. "it takes a long time to grow old friends" - it sounds like you and Joan had that with Dorothy.  |
| Ron and Joan, I'm so sorry for your loss. Dorothy sounds like a wonderful woman and very level-headed. I applaud her moxie right up until the end. Gordon's children probably thought they could just walk all over her, and I'm so glad they found out otherwise.
What a blessing you and Joan were to Dorothy when she needed it most. As you said - what goes around, comes around - for both the bad AND the good that we do. Your reward is coming. Bless you both. |
| I'm sorry for the loss you both are going through. How very wonderful that Dorothy had you both caring for her in her later years. |
| Wow, what a story.
I'm sorry for your loss. I hope Joan is alright. |
| I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Joan must be very upset and thank goodness she had the opportunity to say "goodbye".
Dorothy was a very lucky lady to have you both batting for her. RIP Dorothy. |
| How wonderful for you and Joan to give openly of your time, and your hearts, to help Dorothy. You are wonderful people. Shame on her step children for their selfishness. My sympathies to both of you, and an extra hug for Joan. |
| So sorry for your loss!!
You know that when one door closes another one opens. I had friends in a similar situation and when their elderly neighbor passed a young couple with a 1 year old moved in. They went from caring night and day for someone at the end of her life to backyard bbqs and kids birthday parties. Maybe the house's value will get to the point that there will be no real profit left for the "kids" and it will sell to someone great who will return your kindness!! |
| What a blessing you both were to Dorothy and I'm sure you felt that way about her, too. I am very sorry for your loss. Indeed, in life, we do reap what we sow. |
| What a heartfelt story even with the few hurdles and bumps in the road - condelences to you and Joan, Ron. Dorothy was so fortunate to have you all in her life especially during her elder years. For this family not to pay the $500 for the oil in her tank takes cold hard hearts; so glad you prevailed legally.
Please keep us updated on the continuing saga - did the step-family attend the visitation or funeral, did the house sell, is there internal fighting among the family members? Maybe you and Joan should buy the house you took such good care of for a song to further fix up and sell. Thank you for sharing such a sweet story. |
I'm very sorry for your loss.  |
| Ron, it sounds like you are married to an Angel. what you and Joan did for Dorothy was wonderful . It gives one such a wonderful feeling to know there are people like you and Joan in this world |
| What a truly inspiring story, of both love and friendship. I am sure that Dorothy's last years had many ups and down, but with both you and Joan there as support, Dorothy felt blessed to have such wonderful people in her life.
As I finished the story, I thought for a moment.. what would of happened to Dorothy IF you and Joan were not in her life when she need someone the most. Yours and Joan's kindness is an inspiration to me to be a better person. Please give your wife a hug from Dudley and Murphy. |
| Ron and Joan
I am so sorry for your loss.. I am glad Joan made it back to see her when they needed eachother. You will be in my thoughts. |
| Thoughts and prayers to you and Joan. I do believe that what you send into the lives of others does indeed COME BACK ten fold--and it always goes both ways for good or ill. Blessings to you both for caring so much for others. |
| Isn't it amazing what an encounter with our wonderful dogs can lead to....this loving friendship and caring that you and Joan gave Dorothy.
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| Sending sheepie hugs for you and joan. Bless Dorothy |
| What a beautiful story. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend, Dorothy. You and Joan are very special people. |
| You and Joan are such special people with huge hearts.
I'm sorry for your loss. |
| Thank you all for your kind words.
I didn't do much at all, it sounds more than it was. But Joan is truly an angel of mercy. |
| Ron I am so sorry for you and Joan's loss. I am so glad that you both were there for her. Joan is a very kind and special person - and so are you.
This happened to my mom in December. Its so heart breaking  |
| What good people you are, we need more like you in this world nowadays. I believe in Karma and those who wronged her will get theirs in the end. God bless you and take care. |
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