My grown kids are driving me CRAZY!!!!!
My grown married son and his new wife have been staying with us since right before Thanksgiving. I was so excited to have them home. My son was in the Navy and they had been in Hawaii for 2 yrs. I, for some stupid reason, thought my son and his wife were grown ups. Oh Boy was I wrong. They don't pick up after themselves or their 2 cats. They come to me at every meal time to ask what is for food. And thats how they ask..."Hey mom what's for food?" They get a little miffed if I ask them to help out around the house like unloading the dishwasher (I would never ask them to touch dirty dishes, that's just too much) or take the trash outside to the canister right outside the back door. And if my husband or I give a little advice to these two they are so offended because they are all grown up now. That's what a 2 yr old does. "I can do it all by myself" then go upsatairs and pout. I am really just blowing off steam but geesh they are difficult. I think I liked it better when I missed them. |
|
|
| Sounds to me like it is time to let them know they are not "company" anymore. As for the dinner question, my answer would be "I hadn't thought about it. What were you planning on buying & preparing for dinner for all of us?" After 4 months they should have gotten a grasp on your routine & figured out about loading or unloading the dishwasher & picking up after themselves. It's great to love your kids, but sometimes a bit of "tough love" is what they need. |
distance makes the heart grow fonder 
Is there an end in sight? I ask because about 4 years ago my sister let her grown daughter move back in after a break up - she is still there. no rent, no rules no chores. just like when they are little there is value in expectations. |
| I agree with both of you. I'm not a very confrontational person so I guess I stew. Then by the time I just have to say something I'm too mad. My son does have a job interview in TX in a couple of weeks. I really hope it works out for him, and me!! I've asked my husband to take me out tonight so we can discuss our household. But mostly I need to get away from them. Thank God I don't have to get a sitter. |
No sitter well there's one bonus. When DH and I first got married he would come home from work and ask what's for dinner, I was still at Uni and didnt think that it was fair for me to do all the cooking and besides I wanted to get things off on the right footing so to speak. 
My answer every time: "Dont know, what kind of restaurant are we going too?" I got quite a few nice dinners in restaurants before he wised up and learnt a few recipes. 
Mmmmm thinking about it, wish he hadnt wised up I liked eating out. |
| ...and to think, they're sitting they're complaining about how horrible you are to each other and how you don't have meals on time, have the nerve to ask them to unload dishes that may not be theirs, and who knows what else. Bwhahaha..... kids
I'd seriously be going nuts so you are VERYYYYYYYYYYYYY kind. I'd like visits no more than 2 day. The max and RULE in our house is no guest stays more than 10 days. ...but I realize times are tough, and you are doing them a BIG favor!! I'd be pissed to see them be unappreciative. I don't think they ever get too hold to knock upside the head.  |
| Tough love from me to you, then from you to the kids:
"If you act like a doormat, don’t be surprised when people wipe their feet on you." - Ann Landers. |
| Yep!! I am a doormat!! But not for much longer. I really don't mind them being here. If all was perfect I would love it. But I am definately going to have a talk with them. I was the stern parent when they were growing up. What happened to me?  |
| Been there done it!!!
When my daughter came home from Texas with her new hubby and pregnant, I let them stay with me. I even gave them my bedroom and slept on the couch.  After 3 1/2 months I could not take it any more. I felt bad but I was crazy for my own home. I gave them 3 weeks to find something. (He had not been looking) Funny he got a job, apt, and they moved all in the 3 weeks. I would never do it again. I know thats that sound tough but they now are in their early 40's and all 4 are doing great. They got over it and we stayed freinds. Only thing she dumped that guy and remarried. Gee who knew.LOL loser............. |
| It's your house your rules.
Don't bottle stuff up inside yourself, you'll end up in a more serious situation at the end of the day. Blow your top daily! no I mean it, they may even notice and think WASSUPPPPPPPP? They are taking advantage that is what our kids do! Don't be a door mat! |
| I know how you feel. I have five kids. Four are adults and we have a little seven year old we adopted a couple of years ago. My oldest lives in Canada with his Canadian wife (thank god for airlines) and the others live just down the road. My daughter drops in nearly every day with the same question 'what are you having for dinner?' When I tell her she says ,you know I don't like that, why did you make it. She hasn't lived with us for eight years!!! Next time I will use Mims answer and ask her 'I don't know, give me a hint, what did you bring???' |
| you should have never let them move in... my son has been here 3 and a half years, it has progressed from being ok to I am loosing my mind and afraid of him. he rages at me, if I say get out he spouts the law that I have to give 30 days notice and he starts breaking things my front door, the walls, cursing at me, spitting in my face and tells me "see what kind of damage I can do in 30 day" "go ahead call the cops" They will tell you I have 30 days to vacate" then see what happens to that pretty little new car of yours' I am being threatened and terroized in my own home. My advise get them out asap before this happens to you and be glad it is not this bad. |
Guest wrote: you should have never let them move in... my son has been here 3 and a half years, it has progressed from being ok to I am loosing my mind and afraid of him. he rages at me, if I say get out he spouts the law that I have to give 30 days notice and he starts breaking things my front door, the walls, cursing at me, spitting in my face and tells me "see what kind of damage I can do in 30 day" "go ahead call the cops" They will tell you I have 30 days to vacate" then see what happens to that pretty little new car of yours' I am being threatened and terroized in my own home. My advise get them out asap before this happens to you and be glad it is not this bad. What you are describing is elder abuse and harassment with intent. If you feel threatened in your home, seek the advice of a professional. Hoping the new year is much better for you. |
| I would like to tell you.. Join the club we give out T shirts , Trophy and Tattoos I know how you feel but my wife lets them do it to us my oldest is 27 ( boy) 25 (girl) and 23(son) i know how you feel |
Didn't find exactly what you're looking for? Search again here:
Custom Search
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|