For all the Mom's on the board
WHY GOD MADE MOMS Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions: Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. 2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. 3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. What ingredients are mothers made of? 1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 1. We're related. 2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me. What kind of a little girl was your mom? 1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3. They say she used to be nice. What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 1. His last name. 2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? 3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? Why did your mom marry your dad? 1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot 2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on. Who's the boss at your house? 1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. 3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. What's the difference between moms and dads? 1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. 2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. 3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends. 4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. What does your mom do in her spare time? 1. Mothers don't do spare time. 2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. What would it take to make your mom perfect? 1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. 2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me. 3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. |
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Very good. 
Many valid points......  |
| very cute, wait til that one poor kid finds out those eyes don't only see out of the back of our heads but over great distances too
Now,whats with the string? I am thinking about putting my hair on a diet to turn it red. |
| The first point was actually the best to me. The scotch tape could be right in front of them and you still have to give the exact coordinates for them to SEE it. |
Joahaeyo wrote: The first point was actually the best to me. The scotch tape could be right in front of them and you still have to give the exact coordinates for them to SEE it.
True, or anything in the fridge. Where's the cheese? In the cheese drawer. Although he can always find the beer...  |
barney1 wrote: Joahaeyo wrote: The first point was actually the best to me. The scotch tape could be right in front of them and you still have to give the exact coordinates for them to SEE it. True, or anything in the fridge. Where's the cheese? In the cheese drawer. Although he can always find the beer... there is an acutla term for it - its called refrigerator blindness - refers to the inability to look outside the box so to speak |
barney1 wrote: Although he can always find the beer...
SO TRUE |
| My DH suffers from debilitating Pantry and Refrigerator blindness. I swear, left alone for too long, he would start fighting the dogs for kibble. It's the only food he knows the exact location of and it requires no thought for preparation.
Two things have saved him so far, hot dogs (mustard and bread always kept in the same location) and the phone number for pizza delivery. |
| I needed the laughs...
What's funny is Mr. J will deny left and right that he's like that. To think I thought I had it all figured out when I started to say ...when asked where the new bottle of salsa is... "It's in the closet, walk in and turn right ..second shelf from the top, to the left of that shelf, in the front..." He still gets to the closet and says "where?" If I asked a woman, she would look thoroughly until she found it. Period. |
Joahaeyo wrote: I needed the laughs...
What's funny is Mr. J will deny left and right that he's like that. To think I thought I had it all figured out when I started to say ...when asked where the new bottle of salsa is... "It's in the closet, walk in and turn right ..second shelf from the top, to the left of that shelf, in the front..." He still gets to the closet and says "where?" If I asked a woman, she would look thoroughly until she found it. Period. If you ask a woman she would look twice before she suggested that maybe you ran out! I call it domestic blindness Wayne cant find anything even if its right there in front of him. |
| I used ot work very late hours during negotiations - my husband would call, get me out of a meeting and ask where the X was (different something all the time.) Iwould do the , on the top shelf at your eye level, lift your left hand - there it is. Finally I got to the point where i would be like HUH? excuse me? Unfortunately then he just started buying whtaever he thought he would need that night if I wasn't home. Anybody need any cocktail sauce or salad dressing? I may never have to buy any again |
 Loved them all |
| If you really want to confuse the darlings take them to the supermarket and ask them to lean over and grab a can of something, then watch them stretch up high or bob down after you tell them it's at eye level!!! My dopey husband does it every time then complains the shop moved it since the last time he bought it. Problem is..... he has never seen the item before let alone bought it!!!!! |
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