I'm angry and upset!!!
... well, I talked to my brother today and I screamed at him into the phone as angry as I was! The story: he, my dad and loads of other "friends" want to force me to give up Charlie as we are in "such a bad state as I cant pay my bills" to move back to germany as my dad would "allow" me to stay with Max at his house but ofcourse only WITHOUT Charlie!!! I should get rid off her he said! What a disgrace!!!! I said that wether Max nor me would ever give up Charlie to move back to germany. We prefer to die with her on the road if we have to but we NEVER would "get rid off her"!!! 
Is there no understanding that Charlie is our "child" and I would never go anywhere without her??!! Max and me want now to prove to everyone that we can make it and find a good job! I know it's hard and everyone gets unemployed but I still have hope. Also had a thought to move closer to Birmingham (jobwise) or more down south to Dorset but have to have a look to area, jobs and houseprices first before we decide what to do! I'm soo dissapointed that so many people are not bothered about our feelings for Charlie? 
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| oh I'm so sorry! Sometimes family can be so difficult!
The economy is awful all over. Its a global disaster. We are getting so many dogs and cats both, being left with shelters, or just left on abandoned properties, by owners that don't think they can afford to care for them anymore. Your dedication to Charlie is wonderful. I feel the same way; I'd do just about anything to keep from being parted from my dogs and cats! Good luck to you. I hope things turn around soon for your little family. Hugs to you, Max and Charlie!  |
| From the bottom of my hearrt I wish you well. I have been there some yrs ago. Not a good feeling but we kept our babies. Good luck and prayers to you. |
| I'll never understand someone suggesting giving up a single, healthy dog as a means to save money. Seriously, how much of a difference is the care of one dog going to impact your monthly income? You save the amount of a bag of food and a miniscule amount of the water bill (assuming that you do have to skimp on toys and treats and pray for no emergency vet bills).
Like you, I'd forgo eating myself before I even considered letting my dogs go. Not even an option. Stick to your guns and keep searching for a job. Best of luck! |
| Good Luck!
I know it can be tough BUT, with your positive attitude I am sure you can turn it around! |
| A lot of us are struggling with the poor condition of tbe economy. I guess I would have to be in someone's shoes to understand giving up my dog, but I cannot imagine it. Patch would be so sad and confused if I abandoned her to a kennel or another family. I am afraid I would be like the others on here and give up my food first before I'd let her go without medical or other care. She doesn't know she is a dog, she thinks she is a human member of the family. I would never discount anyone's decision of relinquishing their pet, it is difficult to understand until placed in that position. |
| Really how much money would you end up saving by getting rid of the dog? There is no way I would let Obe go. If we had to sleep in my truck with a camping heater, his bed, and a sleeping bag then so be it.
Good luck and things will get better! |
| See thats my thought; I can give up a whole lot before I have to give up my dog. And I can work a second job, a third job, sell my personal belongings. I know work is hard to get, and selling stuff; well we all only have so much, and I'm sure nothing sells now for what its really worth. I'm just saying I can do alot before I have to part with my beloved pets. |
| I hope things get better for you.
Its hard when people dont understand how much we love our pets. Many years ago our first dog had a spinal injury and my husband asked his manager for the morning off to help me lift the dog in/out of the car to go to the specialist vet. His manager told him he was wasting money and should "just get it put down". I have NEVER seen Wayne so angry, I think he almost hit the manager. Surprisingly to me his manager was a woman, I couldnt believe that she was so callous about a living creature, let alone hubby's feelings. Sorry about the gender stereotyping. And I guess its that much worse for you when its family not just someone at work who doesnt understand. Good luck!!! |
| I wish you luck with the job hunting, I was in Dorset a couple of weeks ago and the price of houses compared to ermany is quite low. Oh by the way an old saying "You can choose your friends but not your family" and believe me it is so true. |
| I'd be bloody upset too at any suggestion like that. Get your father to read the poem "Just A dog" it puts into words for those that don't understand what our canine babies do & mean for us.
Been there with critisimn, from friends without canine love, even from my own mother, called my place a dog kennel, cause all the dogs are house babies. Said SO WHAT, you don't live here and if you don't like it, dont bother coming over and anyone visiting can take it as they want, my dogs are my existence.  She has made no more comments for awhile, but I am sure she will go on and on with something else down the track when it comes to the dogs, had it on and off from her since 1976  . I just say yeah yeah yeah whatever and ignore the comments for peace, no point arguing on it as she thank goodness does not live here!!!!!!!
Things will turn around, stay positive and sending heaps of good vibes over to you all, give charlie a huge sheepie hug from us and wishing you all a good postive future. Sometimes when you think things are low, they do pick up and sort themselves out. stay positive and don't let family or friends upset you just hug your charlie and shrug off comments like that. Charlie is there for you both in these times till things pick up. 
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| All good wishes to you, Max, and your sweet Charlie.
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| So sorry to hear your in this situation. So many people do not understand the part a dog can play in our lives. Mental health issues are lessoned when a dog is in the picture. I am a social worker and have helped a number of people keep their dogs, it has helped them mentally and physically. I wish there was some way of getting through to folks who just don't understand.
I would sell my home and property and buy a smaller home before I got rid of my pets. I worked two jobs as a young adult to support my two horses. My parents divorced and wanted me to give them up. This was 27 years ago and I still have one of those horses. Chic is 27 years old this year. He adn his GF Missy, mean a lot to me as do my dogs! I will keep you in my prayers. |
| As the above said, some people don't understand that these dogs are like kids to us and we do all that we can to keep them.
I love, love, love, my dogs and I can't understand why other people don't. Its their loss. I hope your situation improves soon and that your family learns to back off. |
| Oh thank you so much for your lovely comments! I knew you ALL would understand me and Max how we feel for Charlie!!
My father and brother wanted that we give up Charlie cause my dad doesnt like dogs and 100% not in his house (he only "accepted" her for 1 week while we were visiting him in Hamburg last year!). I never wanted to stay at my dads for long anyway as I dont get along living with him, he treads me like a 6year old child! I was thinking we could use his place as a start, so we could started searching for jobs and accomandation. but I found out that I wouldnt have much chances to get any rented flat in Hamburg or anywhere else in Germany with having a "big" dog like Charlie or any dog!!. So I'm not bothered now to go back! That's why they got angry with me cause I would NOT give up Charlie to move back to Germany! My brother said I'm stupid to stay in UK in my current situation. He also said that I would go down the drain with Max and Charlie if we stay here and it would be all my fault because I stick to the dog! Well, I'm staying here then, simple as that! We will make it without my dad, brother or so called "friends"! My brother also said I refuse to give Max a proper education he only could have in Germany cause UK is rubbish anyway (?) by keeping Charlie!! I just screemed into the phone!! Can you imagine?! 
.... and thanks Stewart (Dairymaid) to let me know that house prices in Dorset are cheaper than Hamburg, that helps me already!!!! Do you consider better and cheaper living in Germany than in UK (Social Security and Health wise, work, Hartz 4 etc.!!)???  |
| What a pig. Doesnt your dad think of the comfort charlie gives you? unconditional love, even when you are down? My dogs are on an expensive food but I dont buy them treats now, we just give them some of their kibble they dont mind. i would rather give up eating myself than get rid of my dogs. I would say come and live in Northampton but house prices and jobs are not clever down here! good luck! |
| Oh Monika! How horrible your family are being!
Stick to your own plans and don't listen to them. Your idea of moving to Birmingham where there are hundreds of more job opportunities and property is cheaper, is surely the best. Even if you only stay there for a few years to pick yourself up. Max has much more of a chance of getting a job he wants there with GW and you can get your work experience, save up for a new car and then get some money together so you will have more freedom. And then get a better house and job 
Please don't feel bad, make a plan and stick to it. You and Max are strong! |
| Monika, I wish you much success in finding a job and less expensive, dog-friendly housing. It can be done and with your determination to make it all work, I have no doubts that it will happen for you. Even though things look bleak, there is always a way.
I find comfort, as cheesy as it sounds, in the knowledge that "this too shall pass". Nothing, no matter how bad (or good for that matter) lasts forever. Your circumstances will improve. If your family doesn't understand that giving up Charlie simply isn't an option, then just let it be. It's better that way. You can prove that you can take care of yourself, Max and Charlie. I well remember times when I bought dog food and cat food and went hungry myself. Giving up my pets was just not an option. The love and comfort they gave me was well worth the sacrifice. I'm sure you feel the same way. |
| I agree I would never consider giving up the dogs - but don't waste time being angry at your family because they don't see it that way. they are only trying to help - as they know how. if it doesn't work for you, look elsewhere. they aren't doing it to be mean. |
Ellie's Mum wrote: .... and thanks Stewart (Dairymaid) to let me know that house prices in Dorset are cheaper than Hamburg, that helps me already!!!! Do you consider better and cheaper living in Germany than in UK (Social Security and Health wise, work, Hartz 4 etc.!!)???
After staying so long in Germany and I have a good job a move back to the UK would probably not be a good idea, although this is not about me. Germany is better in some aspects but certainly not cheaper than the UK, in Germany we see about the half of our wages going to the state in one way or the other. The health service here is not what it used to be and is going down hill fast. I am sure if you have the right qualifications you would find a good job in Germany, although not necessary in North Germany, as the recession has hit hard here as well. As far as taking Charlie to a flat in Germany I do not see any problem with that and if you were coming home to Germany she could stay with us until you have found somewhere to live. Best of luck to you and your Family |
dairymaid wrote: Ellie's Mum wrote: .... and thanks Stewart (Dairymaid) to let me know that house prices in Dorset are cheaper than Hamburg, that helps me already!!!! Do you consider better and cheaper living in Germany than in UK (Social Security and Health wise, work, Hartz 4 etc.!!)??? After staying so long in Germany and I have a good job a move back to the UK would probably not be a good idea, although this is not about me. Germany is better in some aspects but certainly not cheaper than the UK, in Germany we see about the half of our wages going to the state in one way or the other. The health service here is not what it used to be and is going down hill fast. I am sure if you have the right qualifications you would find a good job in Germany, although not necessary in North Germany, as the recession has hit hard here as well. As far as taking Charlie to a flat in Germany I do not see any problem with that and if you were coming home to Germany she could stay with us until you have found somewhere to live. Best of luck to you and your Family Hi Stewart, thank you so much for your reply and your offer for looking after Charlie if we would decide to come! It is interesting what you told me about the Health Service as nobody of my family and friends havent given my any accurate news. In my time (12 years ago!) the health service in germany was really good but it concerns me when it's going downhill, no good sign! Also if half of the wages are going to the state (it wasnt like this before!) that is also a bad point for going back. I do not have the right qualification I think, I thought I would come far with speaking english fluent but everyone told me that nowadays everyone can speak english, it wouldnt be anything special anymore! I was always working in an office environment in Germany when I lived there but got not qualifications and I changed jobs every year so that doesnt look good for me either as Germans prefer to stay with one job. Therefor I would worry that I would end up (with reaching this year 50!) that I would only get jobs like toiletcleaner, washing up dishes etc. That makes it hard for me to make a decision! You helped me a lot Stewart, thanks a lot!!!
PS: Why would it be not a good idea for you to move back to UK? Do you think living here would be worst than in Germany?? |
Ellie's Mum wrote: PS: Why would it be not a good idea for you to move back to UK? Do you think living here would be worst than in Germany??
I have a good job here as a Tchnical Advisor/Project Co-Ordinator and unless I could get something similar with the money I earn then I would not return, different thing if I won on the lottery I would return as soon as the dógs were cleared for travelling. PS I was 24 years in the shipyard in Kiel and I moved to this job in Hamburg when I was nearly 53, and I a have not studied I am just a shipbuilder with a lot of experience. I have never looked back since i moved, maybe we will meet some day if I am in the homelands Stewart |
| Being away from family is a hard tug at the heart strings, hence why we are still in the UK rather than in NZ. We hardly see them in reality but when the idea we were moving came out - out came the missing the family stuff!
That said Germany is only a short flight away, should they really need you, you can be there in a few hours. Should it happen, realistically how will you be being parted from your Sheepie? would you resent your family? if so I see little point in moving back to your family if you can't take your sheepie. Being a German speaker in the UK could open more doors than being an English speaker in Germany. Have you investigated making use of your bilinguality over here? Good luck with whatever you decide. |
dairymaid wrote: Ellie's Mum wrote: PS: Why would it be not a good idea for you to move back to UK? Do you think living here would be worst than in Germany?? I have a good job here as a Tchnical Advisor/Project Co-Ordinator and unless I could get something similar with the money I earn then I would not return, different thing if I won on the lottery I would return as soon as the dógs were cleared for travelling. PS I was 24 years in the shipyard in Kiel and I moved to this job in Hamburg when I was nearly 53, and I a have not studied I am just a shipbuilder with a lot of experience. I have never looked back since i moved, maybe we will meet some day if I am in the homelands Stewart Yes I think we should meet up when you come over so you can also meet Charlie too and then talk about loads of things! I was just told from everyone that I would never get a job with my age now in Germany! I suppose it's up to the company! |
Archies Slave wrote: Being away from family is a hard tug at the heart strings, hence why we are still in the UK rather than in NZ. We hardly see them in reality but when the idea we were moving came out - out came the missing the family stuff!
That said Germany is only a short flight away, should they really need you, you can be there in a few hours. Should it happen, realistically how will you be being parted from your Sheepie? would you resent your family? if so I see little point in moving back to your family if you can't take your sheepie. Being a German speaker in the UK could open more doors than being an English speaker in Germany. Have you investigated making use of your bilinguality over here? Good luck with whatever you decide. We defenitly will NOT go back without Charlie, that's fixed!! We just wouldnt do it! Me, Charlie and Max is one family and we will stay like this! Yes I did look around for German speakers in UK and me and Max consider moving somewhere else in UK if we both have the chance to get a good job. I have an unexpected day off work today with the snow cause I cant reach work (and ofcourse I dont get paid!!!), I will have some researches on the net if I can find bilingual jobs!! Thanks for the great tip!! I'll let you know if anything comes up, workwise or moving, all and only with Charlie where ever we will go!! |
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