Talking Dog Jokes
A guy is driving around Wadsworth, Ohio and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies. "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running." "But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars," the guy says. "Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?" "Because he's lying, he never did any of that stuff." |
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Buffet does stuff like that all the time. Loves to tell people stories.  |
| I've heard this one before...but still LOVE it! Great joke! |
| A dog that tells lies!! No way.
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| HA HA
That was cute!! |
| Funny! |
| I like it....... |
| too funny |
| bbwwwaaahahhaa! |
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| OK, I edited the title of this thread to plural.... let's have all of your talking dog jokes!
A guy walks into a talent agency. Tells the agent he has a talking dog act. The agent says: "Do you have ANY idea how many talking dog acts I see in a year? get out." The guy says: "No really. My dog can talk. Let me show you!" Agent: "OUT OUT OUT!" Guy: "Pretty please?" The agent loses his resolve, let's out a deep sigh and says, "OK, 1 minute." The guy goes back into the waiting room and brings in his Old English Sheepdog who comes in and proceeds to sit at his master's heel. He looks at his sheepdog and says: "Rufus, What does sandpaper feel like?" and Rufus answers: "Rough!" The agent groans. The man gets nervous and looks around for something else to ask. "Rufus, What is uhhhhmmmm over our heads?" "Roof!" says Rufus. The agent gets up to show him out. Quickly he thinks of an unrelated question: "RUFUS! Who was the best baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" snapped Rufus. The agent picks the man up by his collar and belt, tosses him into the street and stares at the dog as he follows his master out. Lying in the alley, the man says: "I don't understand it, first he let me show him the act, then when you talked he got upset and he tossed me out!" Rufus says: "Maybe I should have said Gherig?"  |
| funny, thanks for the laugh. |
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