But I don't want a new cat!!!!
Last night on our way to dinner, Tony announced he wants to get me a new, used cat for my birthday. HUH?  I told him, I don't want another cat. We have 3 dogs. Then he gave me the sob story  about all the cats that are in shelters and need homes, and we are experienced cat owners, and we love cats, and we should go look. HUH? Me thinks he's been seeing that Sarah McCoulign ASPCA commercial! I told him, if we look, we will find...and I DON'T WANT ANOTHER CAT. Then he said, "Oh come on Lovie...lets just go look!" HUH? What do I do!!! I DON'T WANT ANOTHER CAT. And I know if we look I'll fall in love with one, but I don't want one!!! Kristine, if you are reading, please don't ask us to foster a cat!!!!!! It will never leave!!! |
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LOL - good luck with this one. 
Come on, cats hardly take up any room. We even have one (although he thinks he really is a dog too) and I would never give him up. I understand your hesitation though. It is real soon, with both of yours going so recently.  |
Sounds like you're getting a new cat. 
I always tell my husband, what's the big deal? It's not like having another dog. You can have 10 cats before it equaling the care and $$$ that goes into 1 dog. They just sleep all day, you clean their litter, and feed them.  |
AWWWW...your hubby is a real sweetie!!!!  And from my experience from 37 years of wedded bliss..... ...what HUBBY wants...HUBBY gets!!!!!! 
(POST PICTURES OF YOU NEW KITTYBABY WHEN SHE/HE ARRIVES!!!) |
| Not sure of how to give advice on this matter. You are saying NO, husband using pier pressure... hmmm. Tell him if he gets a cat, you are getting another OES. Hopefully he will see it your way, that you really dont want another cat at the moment. |
| It occured to me, maybe TONY wants a cat. If he said that, that would be fine. He can have a cat. I just don't want the cat to be mine. Do you understand????? |
| Deb,
Yes I understand. You don't want the care and feeding and (blech)cleaning the litter box. I also understand that its so soon after losing the other ones. I also understand that you just don't want another cat. I had some birds once and though I cared about the birds I don't want one again. If "Tony" wants another cat, let him go pick it out and make it clear that it is HIS cat. That includes all the care, feeding and cleaning up after the cat. |
Quote: It occured to me, maybe TONY wants a cat.
That's what I thought!! It sounded to me like maybe Tony is missing the cat's company too. If its OK with you for him to have a cat then maybe that's the solution. He can go and pick one out all for his very own. And then you get to pat the cat when you want but its his cat. |
| My mother's approach, when she decided she didn't want another cat (this was a few decades ago) and my Dad and I definitely did, was to finally give in - but (1) it had to be female and (2) SHE got to NAME the cat. Of course we agreed to her conditions.
So we get this longhaired barn kitten. We never actually saw her until the farmer trapped the litter. His wife DELIVERED the kitten to our door. Then bolted as soon as she had handed me the cardboard box, That in itself was a bit suspicious, but not as much as the box that held the kitten -- it had airholes, but the peculiar part was that it was tied shut very expertly with a big, thick rope. Mom and I looked at each other. I carefully opened the box. Out springs this 8 week old hairball from hell. Who had never been in a house before, never been around people except at a safe distance before being trapped. Mom and I just looked at each other in horror  . Oh, yeah, this was gonna be FUN.
Actually, she quickly settled down and my Mom quickly settled in to doing what she knew all along would fall on her - taking care of the cat. She's the consummate cat person anyway. With one exception. If anything needed to be done that the cat would not appreciate, that was MY job. She didn't want the cat to be mad at HER. Evidently cats hold grudges. I am a dog person. I don't know about this stuff. I've have my own cat since I found him half-drowned at 5 weeks old and he's going on 12 years old now, but I did what any sensible dog person would do and tried to convince him he's a dog. (My Mom thinks he needs therapy). Anyway, the not getting the cat mad at her part included taking her to vet appointments. So I march her off to be spayed (eventually) New vet, we had just moved. And I inform them I am here to drop my cat off to be spayed. Neutered, I'm told. No, really, she is a she and I would appreciate it if they would, you know, spay her. This is where my Mom got back at us for "foisting" this cat on her. She named her Chico.
Anyway, the bottom line is that it sounds like Tony wants a cat for him. If you know in your heart that you will still be the one who ends up caring for said cat, yet feel maybe he does afterall deserve to have his cat given that he puts up with three boisterous dogs, you can always build some safeguards in and adopt a big, macho male and name him Rose or Mimi or Sweetiepie and insist Tony be the one to take him to the vet and explain this to them. Pink bows around his neck optional Something like that.
But, no, rest assured I will not make you foster one.
Kristine |
| I would have to agree with Val (sheepieshake) on this one. With the exception of the litter duties, I think Tony misses company of the feline kind and perhaps he's wanting you to feel the way he does with wanting a kitty.
I do understand where you are coming from. I have a 17 year old tortie cat and she has a mass in her mouth. We're going through a tough time right now. After years of owning these beautiful creatures we value and love so much it really takes a chunk of your heart. I've had Kaluha since I was a teenager. Have a heart to heart with Tony and see what happens!! He sounds like a gem talking about adopting a cat. There are so many kitties that don't have a home. |
| Kristine...you are so funny. I think I love your Mom. I miss my two "boys" very much. I had Leo for 15 years, and Khobi for 16. They were a big part of my life. And before them, I had my darling Garfield for 18 years. It's been a very long time, since I've been cat-less. Tony went out to run errands, and I fully expected him to come home with a cat, but he didn't. Oh my...why am I a bit dissapointed? (Don't tell him). I think he does miss the cats. He and Leo had a special relationship. He and Khobi were fine with each other, but not that special of a relationship, but , Khobi was a cat and the best friend of Leo...so, he carried on the Tony/Leo tradition. Oh my..what will Lizzie say if another cat shows up?! At least if this happens, this one will have claws. Poor Liz. |
I have two and I swear they are my last. One female sprays, and the other one is just a pest...always getting locked in closets and trying to tear her way out through the carpets. 
I love them too, but they can be so destructive. My whole door locking schedules revolves around them. I don't know what to tell you Deb, except a kitten would be a lot easier to asimilate into a household with dogs. |
 Well, I have a story for you Deb.
My good friend at the townhouse complex in Surrey where I lived for two years lost her two old boys to chronic illness before we met. She told me that she really thought she'd never have another cat. Too difiicult when she lost them. She still gets teary whenever she talks about them.
However, a few months after we got to know one another, she said that she had something to tell me and wanted my opinion. A few weeks before this, I had noticed a kitten wandering around the houses, apparently lost and looking for food.
It turns out that my friend found the little cat and traced her to a neighbour who had two dogs, two cats and three teen age grandchildren in her house. No wonder the kitten wasn't missed. The neighbour was very off hand about the kitten, so the next time she was left out all night, my friend cat-napped her.
She named her Dora and the kitten promptly took over the house! My friend wanted to know whether she should confess to her neighbour. In the end she did and was told that Dora was hers. 
They are now inseparable!  |
Awwww  thats a gorgeous story. And one lucky little Dora. I love a happy ending.  |
| I couldn't be without a cat... I hope my boy Winston lives forever, he's literally like one of my kids... but when he goes I do know I will get another orange fluffball baby boy kitten....
Besides, it's not you and Tony getting a cat, it's a cat getting a couple of new human pets to boss around. |
Willowsprite wrote: I couldn't be without a cat... I hope my boy Winston lives forever, he's literally like one of my kids... but when he goes I do know I will get another orange fluffball baby boy kitten....
Besides, it's not you and Tony getting a cat, it's a cat getting a couple of new human pets to boss around. I agree!!! I really can't imagine sleeping w/o my two girls. They do get locked in closets, etc... but they're worth it. |
| Deb; what if you told your husband it was too soon? So you aren't telling him "no"; you are saying "give me a little more time to be okay with this; give me a little more time to mourn". Do you think that would work? |
Darth Snuggle wrote: Deb; what if you told your husband it was too soon? So you aren't telling him "no"; you are saying "give me a little more time to be okay with this; give me a little more time to mourn". Do you think that would work?
Yes, and I did, and it did. He understands. He said he didn't want to hear another word about a cat, until I'm ready. I have to admit, after I thought about it, I started wanting one. But I don't really think I'm ready. Khobi always ate on the counter (to avoid dog hijacking), and I'm liking having the counter back, and not having my neighbors grossed out that the cat is walking on it. I also am enjoying not "schlepping" home a big bag of kitty litter, especially, after my fall. I miss "my" guys. I miss their silliness, and their purring. They lived a long time. The cat I had before them lived even longer. So it troubles me, that if I get a cat, I can expect them to live 17+ years, which will put me in my late 70's....G-d willing! Now if a cat like Dora wandered into my life, well, I think it would be devine intervention...but, I'm not ready to look for one. When the time is right, if it is ever right, I'll know. |
| Deb, I totally understand what you just said, only not for a cat but for another sheepie. When we lost Drez in May I thought I would not get another dog for a LONG time. It was a bit of a relief not to have to hurry home to take care of the dog, to not have to buy dog food, to not have to clean as thoroughly as often, etc. But 5 months later, I missed a dog's presence so much and Sammie just happened to be available at the same time. A match made in heaven!
You will know when the time is right. Until then - don't rush it. |
| Hey Deb--I have a 5-year-old male cat that you can have...I'm sure he won't pee on you in the night. |
barney1 wrote: Hey Deb--I have a 5-year-old male cat that you can have...I'm sure he won't pee on you in the night.
Hmmm.... Very generous offer, but, ah....no thanx |
debcram wrote: It occured to me, maybe TONY wants a cat. If he said that, that would be fine. He can have a cat. I just don't want the cat to be mine.
Do you understand????? sounds like a fairly typical birthday present - what hubby wants - you get
perhaps you need to tell him if he wants a cat he can get one - but you would like jewelry  |
| HERE KITTY KITTY |
| OK-- I am going to admit something here... don't hate me- PLEASE!
I am SCARED TO DEATH of cats. SCARED TO DEATH. When I was 5 years old, we were at my Aunt and Uncle's house, and a bunch of cousins were outside playing. There was a stray cat that came into the back yard ( this was in the country) . My cousin Julie went to get an adult, and of course I didn't wait. I tried to pet that cat, just once -and - all of a sudden, that cat had the most wicked look in it's eyes, and jumped at me, with all claws out, and it's teeth snarling. Just like a wild cat looks. It attached it's claws in my neck, and scratched and scratched, and bit. It took my Dad and my Uncle to get it off of me, and during the process it bit both of them. The cat then ran away like lightening. Well.... because of the nature of the wounds they took me to the doctor. The cat couldn't be found, and because of that, all of us that were bitten had to take rabie shots. From that day forward, I developed an irrational fear of cats. I can not even look at them on TV. Isn't that silly?? Just typing this, my stomach is in knots. I tell this, only because I though maybe some of you have sage advise. 
I don't dislike them, just petrified. My neice has had Tiger and Lilly for years, and they are gentle and adorable. I can't go in the door unless I know those kitty's are in the basement. |
| I'm in the same boat that you are in Deb since Nut Nut has been gone. I'm not ready enough to just go to the shelter. I would like an indoor/outdoor cat again as I really liked that he hung outside with us. I'm kind of just hoping that one shows up at our door someday, but I'm sure that having 3 dogs is a big deterrent for a cat to want to hang around. |
Edwina has offered to email Dora who probably knows of a cat who knows of a cat who might be interested in taking you on, Deb.  |
Abuckie wrote: OK-- I am going to admit something here... don't hate me- PLEASE!
I am SCARED TO DEATH of cats. SCARED TO DEATH. When I was 5 years old, we were at my Aunt and Uncle's house, and a bunch of cousins were outside playing. There was a stray cat that came into the back yard ( this was in the country) . My cousin Julie went to get an adult, and of course I didn't wait. I tried to pet that cat, just once -and - all of a sudden, that cat had the most wicked look in it's eyes, and jumped at me, with all claws out, and it's teeth snarling. Just like a wild cat looks. It attached it's claws in my neck, and scratched and scratched, and bit. It took my Dad and my Uncle to get it off of me, and during the process it bit both of them. The cat then ran away like lightening. Well.... because of the nature of the wounds they took me to the doctor. The cat couldn't be found, and because of that, all of us that were bitten had to take rabie shots. From that day forward, I developed an irrational fear of cats. I can not even look at them on TV. Isn't that silly?? Just typing this, my stomach is in knots. I tell this, only because I though maybe some of you have sage advise. I don't dislike them, just petrified. My neice has had Tiger and Lilly for years, and they are gentle and adorable. I can't go in the door unless I know those kitty's are in the basement. Hi Lori, its called Ailurophobia and its reasonably common. But not many poeple mention it because like you they're aware that many people think cats are cute and cuddly or they hate talking about cats because they get the sweats and shakes even thinking about them. I wouldnt call your fear irrational I'd say perfectly normal, it sounds like a horrible experience and cats are very strong for their size and can do some serious damage if they put their mind to it. Plus you then had the joy of rabies shots. I have a terrible spider phobia I cannot stand the big hairy ones. I have even gone so far as go and visit a friend till my hubby got home and removed a spider from the house. I feel like a sook but there's nothing I can do about the fear. There are treatments for phobias called desensitisation but I fear spiders so much I dont want the treatment. I cant imagine anything worse than going near a spider. So I'm kinda stuck in a catch 22.  |
| Hi Deb,
Okay, if you decide to get rid of your hubby - I'll take him! Nyuck Nyuck.
Back to the cat....you know after the loss of a beloved pet we are never 100% ready to get another...it's because we don't know the new one yet. Within a short time you will fall madly in love with new kitty and will be glad you decided to give one a chance. Okay that's coming from me ...who has 10 cats, 3 dogs, 18 bunnies, 2 guinea pigs , 1 mouse and no kids currently living in my home. Sigh. My philosophy is "what's one more. I don't think you should get a cat by the way.....get two! Marianne |
| Lori,
I understand your fear of cats after that experience. I love dogs but I got bit by a German Shepard once and haven't liked them since. |
Marianne wrote: Hi Deb,
Okay, if you decide to get rid of your hubby - I'll take him! Nyuck Nyuck. Back to the cat....you know after the loss of a beloved pet we are never 100% ready to get another...it's because we don't know the new one yet. Within a short time you will fall madly in love with new kitty and will be glad you decided to give one a chance. Okay that's coming from me ...who has 10 cats, 3 dogs, 18 bunnies, 2 guinea pigs , 1 mouse and no kids currently living in my home. Sigh. My philosophy is "what's one more. I don't think you should get a cat by the way.....get two! Marianne Oh Marianne! I was so worried you'd read this, and ship a few cats to my husband! I'm not closed to getting another cat. Just not right now. |
| Ha Deb! I am too attached to the ones currently here...as you may be with your hubby...ha ha! So quess we're stuck with them for a while.
You might want to wait until the spring when kitten season hits and the shelters are flooded with far too many cats for available homes. Many people of course want kittens while some cats even as young as 1 year are not adopted as everyone wants the little ones. The ones that are 5 years or more have slimmer chances and the ones that are considered senior 8 + are rarely adopted. However, you and I know Deb having kitties that have lived to ripe ole ages that this is still young and they are plenty of life in them. Black cats and dogs are currently the last to ever be adopted at shelters and if they happen to be a senior or special needs than chances are really slim they will ever be adopted. I've been currently keeping my eye on one shelter kitty...Black, one eyed and senior that I'm thinking of adopting within the next 2 wks. (Can't get to that shelter due to the snow but he fits my criteria) Don't worry I want him and won't ship him to you Deb! Marianne |
Marianne wrote: Ha Deb! I am too attached to the ones currently here...as you may be with your hubby...ha ha! So quess we're stuck with them for a while.
You might want to wait until the spring when kitten season hits and the shelters are flooded with far too many cats for available homes. Many people of course want kittens while some cats even as young as 1 year are not adopted as everyone wants the little ones. The ones that are 5 years or more have slimmer chances and the ones that are considered senior 8 + are rarely adopted. However, you and I know Deb having kitties that have lived to ripe ole ages that this is still young and they are plenty of life in them. Black cats and dogs are currently the last to ever be adopted at shelters and if they happen to be a senior or special needs than chances are really slim they will ever be adopted. I've been currently keeping my eye on one shelter kitty...Black, one eyed and senior that I'm thinking of adopting within the next 2 wks. (Can't get to that shelter due to the snow but he fits my criteria) Don't worry I want him and won't ship him to you Deb! Marianne As an expert...why do you think the black cats and dogs are last to be chosen? I used to have a gorgeous black cat, who was so charming and also lived well into her late teens. I adopted her, when she was about 8 or 9, and she was a sweetheat! |
| I've heard that too before, about black cats and dogs being the last to be adopted. I think it's because there's an unconscious feeling that black cats (especially) and dogs are evil. (I'm being serious) |
| Hi Again,
Most rescues don't know why that is and it's the same all over North America in every single shelter. It may be rooted back to early times when people were suspicious or feared black cats. It could be black dogs and black cats are difficult to photograph well. It also could be most people don't want a "plain" looking dog or cat and will often choose a beautiful multicolored cat. 2 years ago I experienced the most heart breaking day. It was kitten viewing at the shelter and all of us foster parents were bringing in the kittens we were fostering to the shelter. The shelter in my area doesn't keep kittens on site due to exposure of possible diseases before kittens are innoculated. They hold kitten viewings aprox once a month and are highly advertised. That day there were 17 kittens, ranging from 8 wks to 12 wks. Even that young, the 8 wk old ones always go first. I had a double whammy - one of the kittens I had was 12 wks , was the biggest and was black. For hours I stood behind the cage of my kitten..the others were adopted except for this little one. Kitten viewing was closed at 2 pm. 2 :15 he was the only one left and I prepared to bring him home. Luckily somone came in at the last min and adopted him. At the next kitten viewing he would have been bigger and his chances even slimmer at only 16 wks! Everyone chooses 8 wk old orange, brown, or other kittens first. In our area, once the shelters check rentals and appropriate adopters we are contacted and given the option if people can come to our homes to check out kittens in the foster homes. If the adopters choose a kitten they go to the shelter , pay for them and return with the paperwork and pick up the kitten. Another year all the kittens that were not adopted directly from the foster homes were brought to the kitten viewing. Every single kitten left from 12 foster homes that were not adopted with their siblings were black. Every single one. How sad. Ironcially, with bunnies those last chosen are the PEWS - Pink Eyed Whites. Our shelter has aprox 30 out of the 50 bunnies we house there. People generally claim to love white bunnies but dislike the pink eyed ones. As a result of the color choices of people , 3 of my cats are black and the majority of the bunnies are PEWS. I claim to be color blind when it comes to pets.
Marianne |
| I would have taken that last, black kitty |
 Deb.
Marianne |
| regarding the black dog/cat going last: I find the same when I have all three of my dogs out with me. Asia is my black faced tri Aussie and she gets very little attention, but China who is a merle with blue eyes Aussie and Violet my OES get a ton of attention. Poor Asia...(mommy loves her and she is beautiful). |
Speaking of my cats....he is my boy, Khobi who just passed, and my right foot.
Gosh...I miss him. |
violet wrote: regarding the black dog/cat going last: I find the same when I have all three of my dogs out with me. Asia is my black faced tri Aussie and she gets very little attention, but China who is a merle with blue eyes Aussie and Violet my OES get a ton of attention. Poor Asia...(mommy loves her and she is beautiful).
Look at your picture of Asia, and look at my picture of Keira (BC), they look alike! |
Deb, do you want to own me?
 |
| Awww....you'd never part with that sweetheart! What a face! (I'm weakening. I better stay away from shelters. I don't a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat . I don't a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat. I don't want a cat...) |
| I keep checking, waiting for the picture of your new cat... |
| Mim,I had the spider fear too,I would shut the door to any room a spider was in and wait outside with the kids until husband came home and killed the spider and showed me the body...then,one night,I walked into our en suite really tired,grabbed last nights nightie off the floor and threw it on,and a massive big hairy tarantula was in it and it ran up my face,over my mouth...and I didnt die or have a heart attack and I have never feared them since(So try that,lol).
Marianne,is that offer just for her husband or will you accept any husband? |
| During the 16 and 17th centuries and beyond, black cats were thought to be witches familiars, hence the idea that they are bad luck to have around.
Black dogs were thought to be the form the devil takes when he's abroad on evil missions. These poor animals were sometimes killed by the same means that the suspected witch or warlock was killed: by burning or drowning.
I love black cats: they look so sophisticated. Black dogs are very elegant.
I could wish for a black kitty for you Deb: just think of how happy the little person would be to find you!
Willoughby's Mom |
jcc9797 wrote: I keep checking, waiting for the picture of your new cat...
ditto for why i'm checking this thread
barney your cat is gorgeous. i would love those eyes. |
lynZoes wrote: Mim,I had the spider fear too,I would shut the door to any room a spider was in and wait outside with the kids until husband came home and killed the spider and showed me the body...then,one night,I walked into our en suite really tired,grabbed last nights nightie off the floor and threw it on,and a massive big hairy tarantula was in it and it ran up my face,over my mouth...and I didnt die or have a heart attack and I have never feared them since(So try that,lol).
Marianne,is that offer just for her husband or will you accept any husband? Lyn, please NEVER, EVER do that to me again. I nearly died of fright just reading your story. I have more than a fear of spiders I nearly caused my hubby to crash the car some years ago. We were driving at night and as we went round a round about another cars headlights shone across the windscreen and I saw a big huntsman there. I had the seatbelt off and was mostly in the backseat in the few seconds it took my brain to register that the spider was on the outside of the car. Wayne thought we were about to have an accident and served. I laughed like crazy, for an accident I wouldnt climb in the back seat - for a spider I would.
I stayed in the back seat for the rest of the trip and made him chase the spider off the car. |
debcram wrote: Speaking of my cats....he is my boy, Khobi who just passed, and my right foot.
Gosh...I miss him. Deb, Khobi was a beautiful, beautiful boy!! |
| What a beautiful cat!!! |
| I agree Khobi was a beautiful boy and you can see lots of intelligence and character behind those eyes.
LynZoes- I'll provide all husbands room and board (warning however I eat a lot of crackers and cheese and eat on the run most days) but live close to a lot of restuarants if guest find my diet too bland. Guest must provide their own monies for this luxury. All guest need to do their own laundry,clean up and other chores. They will be required to assist with painting, plumbing, car repair, garbage takeout, and other household labor. All guest clean the 18 bunny run of shavings and feed twice daily - chop up variety of veggies, add fresh water. Guest are also required to assist to feed dogs twice daily, 7 am and 5 pm. The cat's schedule is the same but dexterity to open canned cat food at 7 am is a must. Crunchy food is given in the evenings. Fresh water is supplied freely all times. Must have no aversions to cleaning litter boxes daily and take time to provide quick health checks on all animals. Put on morning coffee. This is not a requirement but the benefits outweigh the possible GRUMPY MONSTER aka Me..who usually does all of the above before I have my first cup. Soooo if any husbands out there need a break from any of you wonderful woman on this forum... Ladies send them here for a worry free vacation. They'll return to you with a new appreciation. Okay so now I've hijacked your post Deb...I apologize....forget your mantra.....get a cat, get a cat.....get a cat...get a cat.... Marianne |
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