Florida Vacation....fight
Tonite was the worst...She was talking on the phone to bf and was asking if he's starving and wants to eat when he gets home or wait. It was 8:00pm. When she was done I said I was getting hungry. I don't expect a maid but I was in her house. I don't go picking in other peoples homes. She went off on me saying she had a house full of food and if I was hungry, help myself. She went into the house and a minute later came back out and started yelling at me, I have a mouth and I should use it, and all I had to do was speak up(I just did) and she ended with f%^& you. To say I was hurt and shocked is an understatement. Plus I don't let anyone talk to me like that and stay in close proximity after that. I called my dh in tears and told him I'm coming home early. The clincher is she doesn't understand what is wrong. I explained it to her(still in tears) and told her I WON'T be treated that way. I got on the computer trying to see what flights are available and sis came in ranting and raving how selfish I am and I don't know what her life is like and she tried the guilt card and said that I came to spend tme with mom and this may be the last time. My mom came in a little later and we talked and I said that if I stayed it would be too uncomfortable. I am staying till Wednesday and after that I'm not promising anything. I just want to go home. |
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That is a tough one. I do not get along with my sister also and we are not young kids ect. She has always tried to run my life or impose HER way of thinking. I did break down at Xmas and called her. It has been 6-7 yrs since we talked.  It did go ok. So I also will wait to see what happens.
Our Mother died in 1960 at a VERY young 48. She got custody of me then , TIME TO LET GO  |
maybe there is something upsetting your sister.... but that is no excuse for her to treat you the way she did  I feel your pain I come from a family of eight and we don't all visit each other because some siblings have anger issues.......is staying at a motel/hotel a possibility? |
| I'm so sorry your vacation had to be that way. Hopefully tomorrow things are calmer, and if you do come home early.... things are mended between the two of you. The holidays are such a stressful time. Big hugs! |
Ugh that sounds awful. Has your sister always been that way? She sound very stressed about something else, maybe it would help to ask her what is wrong as it seems like she's struggling a bit. A few hours of listening to her worries might solve the tension. You can sympathize, empathize then explain again that you don't deserve to be treated that way, hopefully it will never happen again  |
| I have no sage advice....only that I hope it gets better and you can have a good visit with your mom....Holidays are very stressful .....
I'm sorry.... |
| Did you not get along well with her in the first place? That seems like a serious outburst without previous tension before you got there. Is there something bigger that's bothering her that needs to be talked about? |
| from my experience (two sisters) it was probably something that hapened when you were 7 and have forgotten all about. My youngest sister still resents the way she thinks my middle sister and I treated her like a baby growing up - well she is 10 years younger than me - so yeah she was the baby
Can you stay somewhere else so she isn't an issue? I had to do that on one trip where we all were staying at my mom's I left with the kids and went to stay with my other sister who thankfully lived nearby. I was able to do stuff with them during the day but have alone time etc. of course I no longer talk to the youngest sister either............. |
| That's what I was wondering, too. Was there anything to indicate there might be a problem before you arrived? Do you typically get along with her okay?
Does your Mom live with your sister? Is there another place you can visit your Mom? I'm sorry you've having such a miserable time. I hope you can resolve things with your sister. |
| Sorry for all that tension and trouble. I can completely relate, it goes that way in our family sometimes too. (well mostly my hubby side if his sister is around...) And since is mother passed away we just don't visit with her.
~mind you this is HIS choice. I would never get in the way of him wanting to see his family. If he chose to see her I would go along with it and just sit and 'smile' ~ I guess what I was wondering about was the comment from your mom... telling you if you stay it would be too uncomfortable ... (sounds like a comment my MiL would have said about the above mentioned SiL) and we always thought that she was enabling her to get away with that kind of treatment to people. She also wouldn't hesitate to talk to my MiL that way... not just us. Sister said that you don't know what her life is like.... well that can go 2 ways can't it?? Ask her if she knows what your life is like... or what it feels like to be talked to that way, or treated like maybe you should leave and not visit because it would be too uncomfortable. I am not in anyway trying to put words in your mouth... I hope I didn't step outa line. It's just my take on things... based on similar experiences. I REALLY hope this gets worked out and you all get to a point that you can have a good visit the rest of your time there. I am sorry. Hugs... |
| Sorry to hear of the news on your vacation. Doesn't make for a happy holiday season. |
| I would agree with the other posters. Is there an underlying tension? Is your Mom in bad health, or does your sister have responsiblity for her care? The " you don't know what my life is like" sounds like she is unhappy in some way. Are you an older sibling?
I am so sorry things are not working out. Anticipated time with family can easly take a turn. Let us know how things are going, and know that we love ya!  |
| Any way to swing back down in a month or two to see your mother for a weekend........and stay at a motel? Holidays, houseguest, domestic problems do not bringout the best in us. Since you and your sister have problems, it's best not to be in her home. A few hours at a time may be as long as the two of you can be together. Sounds like she's having a tough time and it's affecting all around her.
If she gets offended you aren't staying with her in the future, simply say you don't want to "put her out," or that you are "more comfortable" or you've developed a terrible snoring problem.......whatever. |
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