Yikes! My mom is visiting after Christmas..
I just found out my mother is visiting. Now most people would be excited, however my mother is petite, well groomed, NEVER dirty and owns a papered Russian Blue cat and some hairless little snot-faced dog about 6 pounds. All her clothes appear to have major labels and I think I have two. Okay I have a gorgeous, (in my eyes) new home, however it is getting lived in with my husband, 11 year old son and our 10 dogs, including one 70 pound OES female. I am freaking out. My one room is for the dogs and the walls are dirty most of the time when the weather is bad as is the garage. We bring our dogs in when the weather is really bad. The house is dusty most days with our busy lives, my dogs and son rule the roost. Okay, so the reason I am righting is, I am afraid I will want to slap her as she routinely will say things like, "Oh you should put sod in your yard." Our yard is 4 acres of 12 acres of small pasture. She will say, "Oh you have so many dogs, aren't you sick of the mess?" Then she will start in on all the improvements we should make and on and on and on. I am not a small petite lady, I dress causual and an 44 years old and my favorite shoes are my red converse all stars and birkenstocks. I love my family, dogs and my life. Why in the world does she freak me out so? Anyone?  |
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It freaks you out because she's your mother.  |
Talmasca wrote: I am not a small petite lady, I dress causual and an 44 years old and my favorite shoes are my red converse all stars and birkenstocks. I love my family, dogs and my life. Why in the world does she freak me out so? Anyone?
Because she's your MOTHER. It's in her job description.
My mother is petite, dresses mostly like I do (a slob) and has an unpapered (former stray, actually) long haired cat. So only one out of three similarities to your mom there. That said, she has largely given up trying to tell me how to run my life. She didn't even drop into a dead faint last week when I was home visiting with my six OES and my cat (!) and she discovered that two of my youngest OES had appropriated her kitchen table as their sleeping quarters.  She merely noted that she doubted my sister would ever eat off of it again.
I attribute this to decades of wearing her down until she finally conceded that I am without hope. Take heart. I'm sure that with persistence and a poorly mannered OES you too can adjust her expectations of you to a more managable level 
Seriously, tell her you love your life which includes your family, your home, your dogs and all of it put together makes you happy and isn't that what all mothers want for their children? If that doesn't work, concede that you need help and hand her some bleach and let her loose in the dog splashed room. If nothing else that should make her think twice about offering opinions and advice.
It'll be fine. Kristine |
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I used to freak when my mom came to visit! Then I realized she really doesn't care about my house (and trust me her's is perfect) We have at any time ALOT of dogs and we love them! She jsut wants to see me and YES the dogs and she puts up with the dirt that comes with me! ARRRGHHH...my Dad a different story! |
| My mom was the same way. I think she just didn't didn't to see me w/ so much to take care of. She never really accepted that I am an adult.
She once said to me "You just got 3 dogs so I wouldn't visit!" She visited anyway & I kept my tongue bitten most of the time  .
My mom was very petite too (what is it about petite mothers, I used to think she was small on purpose just to make me look big  )
My mom is gone now & I am glad she visited. I look back & smile at her shenanigans
PS remember to breath & count to 100 or more |
| Your mum sounds a lot like mine except that mine dislikes dogs, any animal actually lest she gets a hair on her jacket
Quote: She once said to me "You just got 3 dogs so I wouldn't visit!"
 Two more to go...that just might work.
I was ordered to pick my mum up in the summer (it's a 100 mile trip) and bring her back for my dad who lives with us (long story) so I took Ru to the beach near where she lives and we played in the sea. Then I picked her up with smelly Ru on the back seat, her face was a picture it was well worth the journey, with the smell I knew meant Ru and I had a great time, but which made my mum complain the whole way back 
Here is what I would do. Get everyone to do a little cleaning, a couple of things each. Then when she arrives you could either hold your breath and count to ten each time she says something hurtful. OR (and this is what I have been doing recently, it's certainly changing our relationship) confront your mum every time she hurts you. Tell her it hurts, or thank you for the advice but... and you will do your own thing because you make your own decisions. See what happens. Sparks might fly the first few times. You might be surprised, she might apologise... you never know until you try. Just stay calm no matter what. That will drive her really mad |
| are you sure we don't have the same mom.. |
| You can hire a cleaning crew to come and clean the house for you before she comes, if that worries you. And you can paint the wall, if you can match the paint (should be able to in a new house).
Both of my Sheepies and my Golden are indoor dogs. And I had three busy, athletic kids who brought their friends over constantly. Great times. Wonderful memories. If she complains that your house is messy, just say that the only one who will remember that 10 years from now is you. |
| You are all correct. I feel like I am just not grown up at times. Also, I think maybe it's a short thing for my mom, TEE HEE (she always states how tall I am.)
I have hired a cleaning women. The carpet guys are coming a week two days before. I figured with all my mutts two days is close enough. I will be sure everyone is brushed well as to not get hair on her perfectly pressed clothes. The most important is I don't see her much and she is coming from Arizona to missouri. I love her, but I guess it is a mom thing. |
| I heard we learn the most important lessons from those 'impossible' people we can't get away from.
Don't ask me what they are though  |
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