A very heart rending question
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He may be sad when he loses his owner, but if you can keep him, I would. He will adapt much easier to changes in his household, than to complete upheaval. Another dog to keep him company is also a good idea...I seem to always have 2 dogs. I am sure you have a place in his heart too...but they do wait for their owners when they are gone. Spencer may help you get through this terrible time as well...they are great for that. I pray that you can keep him to be your buddy as well, as you will also need comfort.
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I'm so sorry about your husband  . Spencer will need time to grieve so a puppy right away may not be a good idea. Down the road a bit it would probably be fine, if you would be interested in a rescue there are some great people in WI who would be happy to help. If you could manage it perhaps there is a dogwalker in your area to walk Spencer and help alleviate that burden for you. |
| The dog walker is a great suggestion bestdogsx4. Just remember that you can take all the time you need to make the decision. |
I am sorry you are going thru this. 
See if there are any teens in the neighborhood who would walk him in the afternoons or especially on the weekends, maybe for a few dollars. My son walks & plays with a neighbors dog because she has such a long crazy work schedule. She gives him a few bucks when she can. just an idea. |
| I'm so sorry
I don't know what will be best for him, but there is a decent network of OES people in WI, including rescue, and I know we'll try to help any way we can. Adding a rescue dog might not be the ideal right now. The three we have right now are very young and very demanding of attention and need WORK (manners  ) which, though they might help Spencer burn off energy and do his business outside, might still create too much off an additional burden for you at this time.
Giving him up would be heartbreaking, too. A dogwalker would be a great help, I think. The Winnegamie Kennel Club is up your way. Perhaps they would know of some dog savvy people who can help. I'll dig up their contact info just in case. Or your vet, even. I don't know what the answer is, and I don't know if this would help at all, but I'm going to pm you my contact info, as well as our rescue coordinator's contact info (she tends to be great at figuring out ways for dogs to stay in their homes if at all possible if that's what the owners really want) and if push ever comes to shove and you merely need someone to take care of him for a while for whatever reason, he's welcome to come stay with my maniacs. I foster for rescue so I'm pretty used to having dogs come and go and so is my gang. Dogs do grieve. But they are also wonderful at helping people through grief. I would hate to see you lose his company. I think you're going to need each other.
Kristine Sturtevant, WI |
| I can't offer any better advice but, a big
Please feel free to come here for support... |
| I am sooo very sorry for all of the terrible things you are going through. My heart is heavy with your sorrow, and the forum will help you make your decision and then cope with that decision and support you in any way that we can.
Personally, my first reaction was that I think you should re-home your dog. I don't think you will be able to care for him any better than you can now, and certainly will not be able to care for him and a new dog, never mind a puppy. I could be convinced otherwise, but it won't be easy.. |
| I agree with Ron in this matter. |
I'm sure in your heart you know what you need to do ....... and it's very hard to deal with everything all at once, my heart goes out to you and your family  |
| Virginia, what a thoughtful person you are. With everything going on in your life, when many would falling apart, you are thinking of others.
Are your knee and foot as good as they will be or will they be getting better? I know rehab can take a while. That would make a difference in the advice. How does Spencer get along with other dogs? Would it be possible to borrow another dog to teach Spencer to go out in the yard without you? That would help a bit in the time to come. There are so many people who have probably offered to help you, without any idea of what they could actually do for you. See if you could get some to become dogs walkers. And if the morning walk can't happen, maybe someone could bring their dog over (or pick Spencer up) for a playdate. One piece of advice given to my mother when my stepfather died was to not make any major changes right away. Spencer may be a great comfort to you in the days ahead. And if you decide that rehoming him is in his best interest, I'm sure that it will because you thought it through carefully. Positive thoughts and prayers for all of you. |
| I'm so very sorry for everything you are going through....
I wouldn't decide anything too quickly... you and Spencer may find that you are very good solace for each other.... a new bond between him and you may be the best thing for both of you, and I believe he will adapt. If you find it is just something you aren't able to cope with that is totally understandable too and we'll all be happy to help you re home him if you choose that route. |
| It sounds like you are walking a very difficult road, with only more difficulty ahead. You are remarkably thoughtful to try and anticipate your sheepdog's needs in the coming changes you will experience.
But I would suggest you wait and see. Maybe contact your local rescue, and inform them that you might be needing their help in re-homing Spencer. Keep them in the loop, as it were. That way you will enable them to be ready in case you do need their assistance. However, Spencer may surprise you. The depths of emotions that our canine companions feel never cease to impress me. I suspect he will be very upset at the loss of your husband, but he will also be aware of your loss too. And you may both find comfort with each other, when there is no one else that could possibly understand what you both have been through. I'd say play it by ear. Let OES Rescue know of your situation, in case you need their help. But I'd also give Spencer a chance to make the adjustment. You may find it will work out for the two of you. In regards to getting another dog to help Spencer; what about fostering? |
| I am so sorry about your husband.
I lost my husband in may of this year to cancer. he was very sick for the last few months of his too short life. We have 3 rescue OES. Larry loved the dogs & the dogs loved Larry. He was their "petting machine". When Larry passed they would of often look out the window or up the stairs for him. In their eyes they were saying "mom when is dad coming home?" My advice is keep Spencer close. He will need you as much as you will need him. Keep in mind Spencer will lose his dad. Don't make him lose his mom & home too! Yes, it will be difficult for you. It is awful to go through the loss of a spouse. I don't think I will ever be okay again. It is hard for me to take care of the 3 when I am feeling depressed or exhausted (which is most of the time). The 4 of us manage. They are loved & are a comfort to me for sure! I do not have to come home to an empty house. My furry family is there. Feel free to PM me if you wish. sue |
| I can't believe the pouring out of concern and love with all these replys. Thanks for your belief that I can make it while keeping this wonderful dog, Spencer. I laid in bed last night thinking about what I need to do and what I want to do and I think giving up Spencer would be such a huge upheaval for him and also for me that he and I should do this together. The pet walker is a great idea and I'm going to call around and see if I can find someone to walk him. Being older, I'm afraid that the ice and snow could cause me a problem walking him in the winter but springtime and summer I wouldn't have a problem. So maybe I can just get someone to help out during the day. So many thoughts go thru your head at a time like this and you try to do what is best for everyone concerned....and I think now, after reading all these posts and doing a lot of praying, that Spencer will need me now more than ever just as I will need him. Thanks to everyone for their kind words and suggestions. I will be in touch with my local OES group for their help. Thanks again so very much. Keep us in your thoughs please. Virginia and Spencer |
| We will be praying for you all. Please feel free to come here with any questions or requests. We all love our sheepies, so we all have something in common to start with. Hopefully you and Spencer can help make each others days easier with the sad days ahead of you. |
| Virginia, I am so sorry for the situation you, your husband and Spencer are in. My dad died of cancer as well.
I wish you the best through this difficult time. I hope you decide to stay and hang out here, we are a pretty decent bunch of people linked by our love of our dogs. |
| Virginia, is there a boy/girl scout troop or a 4H club or a church group near you? People can be very kind and maybe one of them would help you with Spencer, sometimes all it takes is to ask. |
| I'm so sorry for your worries and especially about your husband. When my back gave out on me, I was in a panic about walking Bentley, Willoughby's predecessor (may he rest in peace). He understood that I wasn't myself. It took me ages to get out of bed and I remember saying to him and the cats:"Wait now , wait now: give me a minute.." They undestood. I've been through many moves and changes and I've found that my sheepie and my cats are happy as long as I'm with them. I suspect that while Spencer has seen your husband as his Alpha, he won't want to lose his Beta. Blessings! |
| And remember; we are here to help as much as we can. Don't be a stranger to the board! |
| Hugs to you and your family at this really difficult time. I know sheepies need lots of walks but at the moment the weather is awful here and me and hubby are feeling ill, Summer hasnt asked to go walkies once in the last 2 days. they understand much more than we think they do. Let your pup help you through the years ahead. you will be a great comfort to each other. xx |
| local high school are often good resources for great dog helpers.
you vet may know someone or your local shelter. |
| I have no suggestions for you. I just wanted to let you know I will be keeping all of you in my prayers as you go through this difficult time.
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| I just wanted to say thanks to all the responses that I've received both on the site and also the private ones. You folks are awesome. I know now that I'll be posting often and keeping my spirits up with all you wonderful people. Spencer and I are greatful for your friendship. Virginia, Spencer's mom. |
| Virginia,
I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this. My thoughts are with you . I think Spencer is a big part of your husband and it may be of great comfort to you (and he) if the two of you weather this together. Maybe the dog walker or vol from 4 H or a girlscout troop can help Spencer learn to go out in the back yard to do his business. That would help you in the future. We are here for you please keep us posted. Cindy |
| Virginia...I am sorry you are going through this and please know we all will help in any way we can. You can count on all of us to be here for you in whatever decision you make...and it will be the right one. Prayers to you and your family... |
| Isn't there a college campus in Appleton??? I wonder if you could find a responsible student to help. Sometimes kids away from home really miss their dogs and look for a chance to spend time with a dog. Just a thought.
I am very sorry for what you are going through. |
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