My son is moving to California, and I'm heart broken
off he goes. I know this is the natural order of things, but I'm heart sick. I pretty much raised the kids by myself. Their dad and I divorced when they were 4 and 5, so we are very close. He's been living in the city for the past 4 years (Chicago) and comes home for dinner every Sunday night. I'm already missing him. His sister Stefanie and I will be going out there in October to celebrate his birthday with him. But I feel so empty. I just need some hugs................................  |
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| hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug
think of the alternative, he could be living with you till hes 40! all of this just means that you raised a smart, independant young man...good for you! tell him if hes ever in AZ, come visit, ill make him a Sunday dinner |
| Oh Deb, I feel your pain.
I am adjusted to Lisa being in NY - she went to college 2 hrs from home at age 18, and then moved to NY. So, for the last 5 yrs, she has been long distance. We do talk on the phone daily (or more) and email. Now LeAnne just moved with her family - yesterday!!! They moved to the Twin Cities, so she can go back to school. I am so used to them being 20 minutes away!!! It feels so weird, as I (used to ) do stuff with her and the family several times a week, sometimes daily. Bre will be too far to just stop over to grandma and grandpas anytime. New baby Will will grow up not knowing us like Bre does.  |
| BIG BIG BIG HUGS to you |
I absolutely know how you feel. My kids are 2,000 & 350 miles away and that it too too TOO far!!! I so envy people who have kids that settle in the same town!!!!!!!!!!!!! And, it DOESN'T get easier (sorry). |
| Deb and Dawn and Ginny..........................
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| Hugs for all. My sons, one lives 5 minutes away, he is 32 and the 30 year old lives at home, no job, no confidence no prospects.... |
I'm sorry Deb. But at least you'll have an excuse to come to California now. 
Where is you son moving to? If it's not too far, I'd love to get together when you are out here. |
| Deb, I am sorry.
I know how you feel. That is where I was a little over a year ago. You are torn between pride at their independence and feeling really, really sorry for yourself. The good news as Dawn stated is that you can talk every day. That is even easier now than it used to be with cell phones (no long distance charges) and e-mail. I just give Brian a call and tell him go to the forum to see what your "little brother" is up to. My husband Tim and my other son Jack are doing a fantasy baseball team with Brian and they spend so much time interacting over that it is almost like they are with each other all the time. Next up is fantasy football. I sent Brian a dvd of the show that Tim and I did in February since he couldn't come see it. As stupid as it sounds he truly enjoyed watching it. I even helped Brian decorate his first apartment long distance thanks to digital cameras and shopping on the internet. We had a lot of fun - I would look something up on line tell him where the nearest Target was and he would go looking for it. I am sending you a big hug from one mom to another ............
Distance is never going to part a relationship that sounds like the one you two have. We are all here for you if you need us. (This is the first place I came LOL) |
| Tony is moving to the Hollywood area. He's been plannng this for about 2 years. I've known it was coming....but never believed it would get here. I know he's nervous about this big move too. I made him promise (yes, I'm an idiot) that he would commit to staying there at least 1 full year. I worry that after the "honeymoon" has worn off, he's working and doing a day to day life, he'll want to come home. So...I figure he needs to give it a full year. (Although I'd welcome him home tomorrow if need be!) He's already called once. Thanks for all the hugs. I just feel really vulnerable right now. I hate growing up. |
| Deb, I am so sorry. But how awesome that you raised a son who is turning out to be an independent adult - that is awesome.
And he may come back. Visiting a place and actually living there are two very different things. |
| I am sorry Deb that he is leaving you, but I am here too. I am about 1-1 &1/2 hrs away from Hollywood. It would be EASY to meet up here. Here areyour hugs too. |
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| To you Deb and congratulations on raising such an independent son! I know what you are going through...I have two sons that live 1200 miles away and grandchildren too and it is rough on us, but that is our job as a parent...to raise them so they have enough confidence in themselves to "try it out" to find out where they will be happy..and where life may take them.
Dawn to you too....when I read that Leann had moved, my first thought was "what will Dawn do?" You and Leann had your lives intertwine so often during the week, I am sure finding your legs again will be difficult. You should be proud of how you raised Leann also that she wanted something so bad that she uprooted her little family to accomplish her dream.
Bravo for all the parents out there that are going through similar situations..we have succeeded....but we really miss them a bunch! |
| Deb, Where in all of California will he call home? I live in the SF Bay Area and would be happy to have him for dinner sometime, once I have a kitchen again.... If he needs a sheepie fix, I can certainly assist with that as the mom of 3 sheepies.
L |
| Super big hugs Deb
Been there last year with my youngest, hard and a time for adjustment, it does get better and when you do see them so much to catch up on and feels like they have never been away. I was a mess but now getting use to it, I can't even visit my son as he is away at sea for months then home for a few weeks, those weeks now what I call VISITS are great & so is the cell phone for keeping in contact with him while he is on the high seas.
My eldest is part time here too at home now, often interstate or OS with his newest job, so I am getting use to Empty Nest Syndrome. 
It is a shock when the babies leave to start their life adventures, even though you know it is coming soon, regardless of age they are always your little boys or girls and you will adjust to the life changes and allways be there for them too.
Hugs hugs hugs from another partial empty nester. |
| dependant of what side of the atlantic ocean we are we are thousand of miles from either my parents or my hubby parent but i recomend both you and your son get skpe on your computers with webcams
it has been wonderfull call to computer to computer are free and you can have good quality video calls with the webcams for free too. it is wonderful my son never forgets either set of grandparents as he can talk to them everyday if they want the time diffence is a bit of a pain but my mum is a youth worker and works late in the evening so if she want to call when she gets in it only 5-6 pm in fl just before dinner and bed time so it fits in perfectly with both our rutines. and visa versa we ring from the uk to fl before little ones bed time and get my in laws at lunch time. that way you couuld not only talk to him but see him as well and with all the money you save on phone call you could plash out on and extra vist either for him to see you or you to go see him. skpe is free to downlaod too you just need a webcam and a headphone set with mic. wish your son all the best from all of us zoe |
| I got a text message this morning...it said, "Leaving Chicago. I love you Mom!" It broke me up. But at that moment, I found out how sympathetic sheepdogs are. Both Pirate and Lizzie can running over to me and showered me with kisses. Boy, am I ever grateful for those dogs. They taught me, it's possible to cry and laugh at the same time. |
| awww deb, youll be okay....us south/west coasters will take care of him if you want!!! |
My son, Tony..with "baby" Pirate, two extra special friends..
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| I know how hard this is: I've been on both sides of this--the child moving far away and the mother who was left behind.
You should be very, very proud to have raised a son who is courageous enough to follow his dreams and confident and independent enough to make them happen. And, might I add, to have raised a son who obviously loves his mother very much. I am sure he will miss you as much as you do him, or almost: I think it is easier to be the one who leaves than it is to be the one who stays behind. Of course, you are lucky to get to have a sheepie to console you. Think of the adventure that lies before him! If you weren't such a wonderful mother, I don't think he would be so well equipped to handle this adventure. Think of the fabulous new destination you have for vacations now! You done good. |
Deb, today I saw a woman that used to teach at our school. Her son is living in Beijing permanently, running a company to assist American businessmen traveling to China. She is hoping to see him annually. with the time difference and his job, they speak monthly. 
I have no clue how this came about - no genetic ties, never visited there before he learned Mandarian.... |
| Aw, Deb, my heart goes out to you too. With one child living 300 miles away and the other one following suit this week, I feel your pain. But, like everyone has said, be proud of the parenting job you did that made him such an independent person. And communication is a snap now, so you can still always be in touch. The only thing missing is their smiling faces in person.
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My oldest lives half an hour away and we work for the same office (different buildings now) - seeing him is as easy as walking across the plaza. My baby - my daughter followed a boy to school in Daytona 6 years ago this month. She comes home for Christmas and I see her once or twice a year other wise (I am a frequent flier to Florida  And I hate it.
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Hugs from me Marianne |
| AWWWWW |
| Aww, Deb, I'm sorry you're sad. It'll be okay, though. What's he planning on doing in LA? |
| He just called. He's in LA. He is, of course, hoping to sell a script. But he also has a legitimate job working for his friend's father's company. Probably doing some clerical stuff. At least he won't be a waiter..and it will be a steady paycheck. He sounded so happy on the phone. I wish him all the luck in the world!!! |
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