Still in love, but separate bedrooms
Well, we have 3 dogs and a cat. Someone is always moving, scratching, jumping on or off the bed, or tossing up a hairball. Needless to say, Tony is a wreck in the morning, because he never gets a good night sleep. Oh...and did I mention, he's unbelievably cranky in the am? We have a wonderful 2nd bedroom, with a brand new bed. This morning we talked about him sleeping in there, and closing the door at night, to keep the critters out. (They really do prefer to sleep with me anyway...and they don't bother me). It sounds like a logical solutions, but it just seems so odd to me. Have any of you made the move to separate bedrooms? Did the move help your relationship, or hurt it? |
|
|
I couldn't bear to sleep in a seperate room to Greg, it's the only time we get alone as we live with my dad. But during my 5 years of being a domestic cleaner I am amazed at how many couples have seperate rooms. I think it's pretty normal, and if it's the only way to get some decent sleep- go for it!  |
I take it from the post that kicking the animals out is out of the question? 
Anyway, my parents do the same exact thing and have been married long enough they don't think much about it. They just hold hands and stuff during the day.  |
| Yes, Paul and I sleep separately. I was the one who left. He snores (I wore ear plugs for years). Then he had several surgeries and did not do well with my bouncing around. He gets up around 3:30 to 4 a.m to go to work. Simone slept between us and I got tired of hanging on to the side of the bed. Plus I need to sleep more upright, even sitting upright, so I put a recliner in the guest bedroom for times when I need to sit up. There's also a couch in the guest bedroom. Now I have Jack on the couch, Harry on the bed with me (I'm still hanging onto a side of the bed) but also have my chair as necessary.
PS. when he leaves for work I try to get to his big bed with Simone, but Jack and Harry want to join us.......so I'm hanging off the side of the bed again. |
| I know alot of couples who do this and it works out for them I say try it |
| My in-laws do it and they've been married for 20+ years. His snoring forced her out. |
| when brian and i are in hawaii, we sleep in seperate beds....nothing like having your own queen size bed to yourself!!
at home, i either sleep with earplugs because brian snores or one of us will move to the other bedroom.... sleep is sleep and personally, i dont think that sleeping apart ruins a marriage...its the ''not sleeping'' together that may hurt it (if you get my drift) 
brians 24 hour shifts are fantastic...i used to sleep diagonal and use all the pillows.....but now with the ''ghost''....well, thats another story....  |
| I agree Darcy. I would love a seperate bedroom where I could close the door. The swamp cooler is in my bedroom and we have to leave the door open. My husband and kids stay up until 12-2 a.m. I am lucky if I make it till 11:00. Of course, I am up with the dogs at 6:00 a.m. No one else is ever out of bed before 9:00...that is until school starts again in August for the High Schooler who is sleeping now...of course. |
| Some people say sererate bedrooms can be very "romantic"!!! |
| Adam and I have the same dilema. And our solution is to sleep seperately. All three of the cats sleep in the bed, and always have. Thier walking around and cuddling all night long is really disruptive to his sleeping. I offered to kick them out of the bed room; but Adam felt bad. To be honest? We were both in our 30's when we got to gether, and Adam had been living alone for so long... I think he's just not used to anyone in his bed!
So now he mostly falls asleep to the TV on the couch (which he did when he lived alone) and the dogs sleep with him. We've been together 6 years, and sleeping seperately for about 3 of those. Its not the end of the world. In fact; its kind of nice to have the bed to myself! |
| Hmmm...as I'm reading all this....the idea is becoming more appealing! I can stretch out...sleep in the middle...not listen to him snoring...fart (oops! Did I actually say that?) and yet have visitation rights! Hmmmm...why did I ever want to fight this?! |
| I fought the change REALLY hard; I thought it was a reflection of our relationship and its failure; a sort of "the begining of the end". When really, its sort of awesome. We both get to sleep, He gets to watch tv (I hate TV in the bedroom) or video game (which I don't do) until the wee hours. I can read quietly and comfortably, and cuddle with the cats. |
| We have been married 53 years and 1/2 of those we have had seperate bedrooms , I like to read before falling asleep and Don snores (LOUD) and it hasn't hurt us any |
| We have a king size bed, but I have to go to bed before hubby as he snores soon as his head hits the pillow. So I have to get to sleep quickly. Then he gets up in the night for the loo, drink of water etc, and is not usually in bed when I wake up about 7. I often wonder if he actually comes to bed! |
| hey and dont forget the romance novel thingy....the lord and ladies of the house had seperate room....of course they had secret doors for late night visits.......his can be the bedroom, yours can be the boudouir |
| WOO HOO :twisted: |
some couples have separate houses  |
| When we were building our house two years ago, the builder asked us if we wanted two master suites. It has apparently become a trend. He said that five to ten years ago, clients would ask for an additional small bedroom off the master, ostensibly for guests, and then they would eventually confess that it was for their spouse. In the last couple of years, he said, folks don't care what other people think, and are literally putting in two full master suites for their sleeping comfort.
A restful night's sleep is so very important to good health, and if sleeping in a different bed helps Tony get good sleep, than I say go for it! Laurie and Oscar |
kerry wrote: some couples have separate houses
a girl can dream..... |
| That would also mean...
SEPARATE CLOSETS!!! |
| which means ....
MORE SHOES!!!!   |
| SWEET! |
| I'm sitting here in my bedroom (it is the coolest room in the house at the moment) looking at Doug's MESS thinking......hmmmmmmmmmm seperated bedrooms might nt be so bad!!!!!!! |
| When a dog is sick, or I haven't been sleeping, or Gordon goes crazy with the garlic, etc. we sleep separately. Those are my best sleep nights ever.
When our little Theeps had his TPLO we each slept with a dog in a separate bedroom. The theory was that it would keep Theeps from moving around so much (he hated when Portage would flop over and touch him and would stomp off in disgust). We did it for eight weeks (for Theeps of course) and it carried on for longer. I was kind of sad when we all moved back in together. A queen sized bed is fairly big, but to share it with a husband who loves to cuddle while he sleeps (and I'm always hot) AND two full grown sheepies doesn't always mean the best sleep. I say go for it! It doesn't mean the beginning of the end of anything, except maybe the beginning of the end of being tired and cranky. And that HAS to be better for your marriage. Tracie |
kerry wrote: some couples have separate houses
Yep, that's us, 2 houses 3 hours apart . And I still sleep on the sofa with the tv blaring wherever I am |
| I'm surprised so many couples do it!! Sounds like a solution for you! We both don't sleep well unless we're there. We wake up throughout the night. Not like we ever come close to snuggling, so I don't know why that is... |
| I know that sleep is very important to me. Sometimes, my husband's snoring or my own tossing and turning drives me to a spare bedroom in the interests of sleep. But it is with reluctance and a nod to the necessity: I fall apart and get sick if I miss too much sleep. I also value the intimacy of sleeping together.
On the other hand, I don't sleep with the dogs, ever. I wouldn't sleep well, no matter how large the bed. And actually, we regard our bed as our retreat from the demands of the world, including the dogs. It's all in how you look at things. |
| I'm hearing lots of stuff that screams "SLEEP DISORDER"! If your partner is a very light sleeper or "freight train" snorer something else might be going on. Please consider a sleep study. My husband has sleep apnea which I'm glad I nagged him to get checked out. He swears he never snored before he met me! He sleeps with a mask which we're both quite use to by now. Bogie doesn't mind the noise either. |
Hmmm, am I the only person who knows someone who sleeps apart and that is because they aren't happily married????? 
Anyways, if it works for you do it. I would miss my honey if he wasn't in bed with me though. He doesn't snore to much or do any other irritating bed habits. Usually its me flopping around staring at him wishing it was me that was sleeping instead. |
bestdogs wrote: kerry wrote: some couples have separate houses Yep, that's us, 2 houses 3 hours apart . And I still sleep on the sofa with the tv blaring wherever I am Marty and I started sleeping seperate when Donner came in and was so sick! Marty always slept wherever Donner was.... usually the floor! Now we are usually on different couches with tv's going! Sometimes we switch but, it works for us! Ten years together, I think we are okay sleeping apart!
I think he wishes I would just go to sleep earlier! |
| When I fell ill and was unable to sleep well, being woken up by the dog or, ummm let's just say "other noises in the room" was a bad thing. I couldn't get back to sleep.
So I told Joan that I felt we needed to sleep apart. She agreed, but the real problem was -- when we went on our trip we had given away or sold almost all of our furniture and no longer had a guest bedroom set. There was no way I'd be able to sleep on it, so Joan wound up spending probably most of a year on a pullout sofa. I kept offereing to buy her a bed, but either she didn't want to spend the money or was hoping to come back to the master bedroom, but finally she relented and now has a nice set. Once in a while I miss having her and the dog around, although Jake was a much better bedpartner... 5 minutes and then he'd get up and go to the cool tile floor. Mulligan is a hog-the-bed-all-night kind of fella. and with that, I am off to bed. |
bestdogs wrote: kerry wrote: some couples have separate houses Yep, that's us, 2 houses 3 hours apart . And I still sleep on the sofa with the tv blaring wherever I am see this is my daughter's dream - no guy around all the time to mess things up |
| Dale and I occasionally sleep apart too, especially when he snores loud enough to wake me up through the ear plugs, or if one of us is sick. Plus, he's a morning person and I'm a night person. He gets upset if he comes to bed by 11-11:30 and finds me still in the office on the computer because I'm not sleepy enough yet. And I hate hearing him get up with the sunrise! We're not cuddlers in our sleep, so that's not a problem.
My in-laws slept in separate bedrooms for the last 30 years of their marriage, because each of them snored. Whatever works! |
| Tony and I do not snuggle when we are sleeping. He is such a light sleeper, that if I do touch him, it will disturb his sleep pattern. And actually, we like to do our "snuggling" while we're awake |
| My parents always slept in different rooms when I was a kid. I never thought anything of it. Now, though... Scott is deployed more than he is home so we stay in the same room as much as possible-- awake or asleep.
I say go for it. Like I said... my parents did it for years. Mom is a read all night fall asleep holding the book kinda person and dad is a pitch black no light at all kinda guy. Kinda makes reading hard.. so mom always ended up on the couch or 1/2 the time on my bottom bunk while I took the top one. |
| the more I read this the more I think my next house need stwo master suites - cause honestly right now that is th ebig issue - who gets the big bed |
| I always wanted a master suite with 2 bathrooms--so I never had to share.
I am amazed at how many people continue to share their beds with pets who hog the beds, snore, and otherwise interfere with a decent night's sleep and would never dream of changing this habit---but have no problem sleeping away from their spouse. |
| My hubby is like a FOG HORN, yep snoring that can rumble walls.
He can sleep through I think an Atom Bomb landing on his head as well, now 2 sons are off with work on occassions for weeks here and there and A SPARE BED  , I sleep in their when hubby is snorking in mega amps.
Believe me I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON and get even more cranky without a good night sleep, leashing the MONSTER in the morning, hubby commented on how sweet I am after a good nights sleep, HA HA HA, hoping sons will leave the nest real soon. ooops did I say that Must admit love spreading out in a bed and turning sideways sprawled out in comfort without any obstructiions interferring with my tossing and turning and sound sleep.
Time for the kids to leave the nest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So mommy has a retreat ALL TO HERSELF  |
tgir wrote: I am amazed at how many people continue to share their beds with pets who hog the beds, snore, and otherwise interfere with a decent night's sleep and would never dream of changing this habit---but have no problem sleeping away from their spouse.
#1) Our pets only survive 12 to maybe 15 years, the spouse just keeps on keepin' on. #2) I spent the first 6 years with the spouse alone, then next 10 with the spouse and a dog (5 minutes then off), the next 2 with the spouse. Enough with the spouse! #3) I have taught my dog how to beg. Enter the room with eyes down, sneaking a glimpse of the bed. Circle the bed looking for an opportune spot and moment, carfeul to keep sneaking those glimpses. Raise eyebrows in a sad look alternating between her face and the spot on the bed you'd like. Wait for the bed pat invitation. If bed pat doesn't happen right away, whimper a little. |
| Well, Tony still has not made the big move to the other room. I hate to admit it, but I'm a little disappointed. I was looking forward to the "BIG STRETCH!" |
| If Tony hasn't moved to the other room, maybe you should.
I had another thought. My parents always had twin beds pushed together. The size of a king but separate. That's almost like sleeping in the same bed, but movement wouldn't disturb Tony. |
| Its better to have seperate rooms and not be grumpy than to have the same room bhut fight all during the day!
Its whatever makes you happy! It will make "meeting up" all the more exciting |
| #1) Our pets only survive 12 to maybe 15 years, the spouse just keeps on keepin' on.
Thanks Ron for my morning ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! Dh and I have kept seperate bedrooms for the last 6 yrs. He: snores LOUD, wakes up and claims I keep him up with the TV, goes to bed before me, and is a general pain in the butt. Me:reads before falling to sleep, stays up late, likes the TV on if not reading for falling to sleep, and share with the dogs for brief time(they get hot). When we first started doing this he whined. Oh boo hoo. I told him if we sleep in the same bed...only one of us sleeps and its not me. When we are someplace, motel or camping that we are forced to sleep in close proximity, I suffer from the noise level. He suffers from an elbow to the ribs. |
Didn't find exactly what you're looking for? Search again here:
Custom Search
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|