duffy or derby i have to choose
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| I can't help but just wanted to say that your in my thoughts and I'm hoping all the best for you and Derby |
Honey, how on earth is this your fault?? Some dogs like puppies, some don't. Personally, I can sympathize perfectly well with those who don't - I have an 9 week old staying with me whom it is taking six sheepdogs to put in her place as needed.  On their best day, they are still a pest.
Add to that all of the stresses the two of you have been through together and it's perfectly understandable if he doesn't want to share his "rock" (you). The thing I do, and this is for less serious cases, is pour MORE attention on any of my dogs when the puppy is in the vicinity. The ones who aren't already puppy-crazy - and I do have 2-3 of those - quickly learn that puppy's presence means good things - for them. I ignore the puppy. She has her own one on one time with me. I do have two who are quick to reprimand and I encourage them and praise them when they tell the puppy off because they have that right (if done appropriately). According to Mad Dog (who has had a litter of puppies mind you, and I quote): "Puppies are just little fuzzy terrorists who must learn to respect their elders and betters" (her! )
She should know. She gave birth to 8 of them. That said, with the stress level you're under, place the puppy in good conscience and give yourself and Derby time to get over your grief together. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he finds a young female down the road that he falls madly in love with and whom he wants to come live with him. I'm sorry it's turning out this way, but it will be OK for everyone 
Kristine |
| bless you, I wish I could help, you have really been in the wars lately.
I am sorry I cant help but I will keep you in my thoughts and I really really hope things get sorted out for you soon....xx |
| I don't know that this is your fault. Mind you, I am not an animal behaviorist or trainer, just someone who grew up with dogs (and kids) and has had at last one OES for the past 16 years.
It sounds to me as though derby is resource guarding and you are the resource. Some dogs resource guard; some do not. Derby does and in a manner that ultimately is not acceptable, no matter whether you keep Duffy as well as Derby or decide to re-home Derby or Duffy. Also, I firmly believe that dogs pick up on the emotional state of their people. You've had a rough patch for a while and Derby has been your rock. It is natural and understandable that you feel guilty/worried/upset that Derby isn't accepting the puppy as well as you want him to do. But your anxiety is also helping to fuel Derby's need to protect/guard you. So, what I suggest is a bit like what has been suggested by Mad Dog: give Derby even more attention when Duffy is around. Have a few (tiny) delicious treats around to feed him only when Duffy is around. Try to project excitement that DERBY has someone new in his life. Praise him for any tiny non-aggressive bit of behavior. When we got Archie, Merlin went into a week long snit. He adored Archie--outside in the yard when we first brought him home. Immediately disliked him when we brought Archie INSIDE. He refused to be in the same room with him, even at meal time. And Merlin never missed meal time (ours or his). One evening while we were eating dinner, Merlin slinked through the dining room, shooting us all a very dirty look and went down into the basement. We really got the picture that Archie was not acceptable. However, we showered Merlin with love; made sure he got all of his favorite walks without Archie (for a while), got plenty of love and affection. What became the turning point is when we were calling Archie in after last call potty and Archie was too new to reliably respond to his name. Merlin was already up the steps but he just heaved a huge (visible and audible) sigh and went back down, and herded Archie into the house, with lavish praise and affection from us. After that, he seemed to decide that Archie was his burden/student and it was his duty to teach him to be a good dog. Eventually they became playmates as well as friends, and loved to lay next to each other (or ARchie did. We think Merlin mostly just tolerated it). Ultimately, you have to decide what works best for you and for your babies. I don't know Derby so I don't know if he will eventually come around. Or how much effort it will be to achieve peace. I know you will make the right decision. |
| I know this has been very difficult for you.
It's good news though that this weekend went well! Ask yourself this... Where will Derby be the happiest and most balanced? I think he misses having a female to rule over him... |
| Please don't blame yourself, really. Sometimes despite our best hope dogs just don't take to each other, sometimes with a lot of work it can happen, but not always. I know you love both your boys but you also deserve to be happy. Whatever way it goes you know you've tried your best and that's all you can do |
| I am so sorry, what a difficult spot to be in. |
Tasker's Mom wrote: I am so sorry, what a difficult spot to be in.
I'm sorry too. It's never easy to be faced with this situation. It's clear you love them both. |
| I am so sorry
None of this is your fault..... Please know that! I dont know if I mentioned to you that we had our little Devyn on Prozac for her crazy self and I think it made her worse. This may not always be the case but, this was our experience. She may still be crazy but, she is not aggressive with the others and does not try to jump the fence. We also tried her on Xanax without results! On the other side, I know of a Border Collie that was aggressive with other dogs and sometimes people that they doubled his dose of Prozac and he has done wonderful. I wish you the best  |
| well my trainer took the pup over to visit derby who is doing great with his lab girlfirend ,, so he played with the pup.. so then i pull up and come in the house and all of a sudden derby demeanor changed i missed him so much but just came in making no contact then sat on the chouch.. the pup came over to me and derby nailed him .. that goodness the leash was on him.. after 5 trys all concerd it is guardian of me not my house..derby was so stressed when i am around as soon as i left he was fine.. so now the thing i need to do for derby is rehome him if i keep him he will never let anyone around me (men) ..etc.. ..i one of the reasons my ex left!!
if i can stop crying at this point! he is the best boy!! so if anyone knows of a great home for my derby please contact me.. he has his cgc housebroken layed back likes kids.. needs a full house we think with a man there ! not sure how much more i can take.. for now he is safe with my girlfriend and her family.. yes i am talking to dixie rescue |
| I am so sorry. |
| Again, I am heartbroken for you! |
| I'm so sorry to hear about what's happened and what you must do now |
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