First Mother's Day without Mom
This is my first Mother's Day without my Mom. I lost her and my father within three days of each other at the end of August last year. My parents had been divorced for 39 years. My Mom was diagnosed with lung cancer Christmas 2006. She went through chemotherapy and was just waiting to start radiation when she had a mini stroke on July 7, 2007. Luckily I was visiting at the time (I live 2 hours away). She was in the hospital for 6 weeks, decided to stop fighting and was transferred to a nursing home under hospice care. Just before she transferred, I got a call from my Dad's sister that he was in the hospital with throat problems and that cancer was suspected. The next time she called me was on August 21 with the news of his death. My Mom died 3 days later on August 24 at 1:40 in the morning. The same morning as my Dad's funeral. Basically, I went from the nursing home to the funeral home for my Dad's funeral and back to the same funeral home immediately to plan my Mom's funeral. It was a horrible week. Thanks for listening to me ramble- sometimes I just need to get it out again. I miss you Mom. Lally |
|
|
| Lally,
I'm so sorry. What a horrible week that was. This first year must be like a hazy fog to you. Time will help ease the pain, especially after you get through the whole pile of "firsts" without them. I feel for you. Give your pooch an extra rub for me, and for Mom and for Dad. That way at least some good to someone can come out of it. |
| I am so sorry for all you have been through in the past year - losing both parents is truly heartbreaking. I am so sorry.
Mother's Day is tough for me too - my mom was taken suddenly by cancer a few years ago. The first Mother's Day after her passing was the toughest - it felt like everyone had a Mom except for me. Time will help heal your pain - Give your handsome sheepie Max a hug  He loves you and doesn't want his new Mom to be sad. |
I knew there was a point to me posting this! I wanted a dog to help with all the time I have on my hands since Mom died- we were very close and spent a lot of time together. When Max climbs on the bed and lays it help on my shoulder, it really helps. Even when he snores. 
Lally Thanks for the kind words. |
| I am so sorry!!
My Mom has been gone 5 years and I still miss her!! |
What a tough week that was. I can't even imagine the emotional toll that took on you. This whole year had to have been difficult.  I hope that having Max is a comfort to you. I know for me, my wigglebums always make me smile, no matter what else has happened, they lift my spirits.
I hope you find strength, comfort and solace in knowing you've got friends who care.  |
| Lally, first let me say I am so sorry about the loss of you parents. The loss of one parent is hard enough but the loss of two so close is a double wammy. I know what you are going through here is my story....
My fil died on July 22, 2001 three weeks later on August 18th my Mom died, about three weeks later 9/11 happened (I was already in shell shock by then and was just numb) about three months later December 3rd my mil died, May 2002 hubby was laid off and May 2003 my Dad died. So a lot of sorrow in a very short period of time. They say time heals, I disagree. Time has given me a way to live with their losses. Holidays are very difficult. You are not alone. Take care! My Dad was a dog lover and I think often of how much he would have loved all three of my girls.  |
| Lally I'm so sorry for your losses. I can't imagine losing both parents so close together. My mom has been gone 35 years, and I still miss her...everyday, not just on mother's day. But I miss her...I no longer hurt. That will come to you, too, dear |
Quote: When Max climbs on the bed and lays it help on my shoulder, it really helps. Even when he snores.
Lally, I'm sorry your experienced your parents' passing so close together! While the emptiness you feel know is great, you also learned you can survive and function even during the worst time in your life. I know Max is a great comfort.......even if he does snore or burp in your ear, pass gas and scratch.......(hmmm, sounds like a husband.) |
| I haven't been in this portion of the website for a long time. I wanted to just say that this was the hardest Mother's day you will have.
Lally, I am so sorry that you have had to go throug this. I lost both of my parents very close to each other, too. Both parents had serious health issues for some time before their deaths. They had been divorced for many years and my dad remarried. My mother passed away 2 days after Mother's Day--I had so feared she would die on Mother's Day, to tell the truth. She was buried on a Friday; on Sunday, my older sister had emergency surgery. The next Thursday, while my sister was still hospitalized, we found out that my father, who had been diagnosed with COPD years earlier also had leukemia. He died about 9 weeks after Mom. The day of his funeral, we learned that a friend had passed away. We knew he was terminally ill, but it was still hard. And on the same day as my father's funeral, my son, who was in the Army, got a call saying that his unit was going to Iraq in about 6 weeks--which did not happen, thankfully. And then, our first OES died on Jan.3. I remember feeling as though I had been dragged through barbed wire and over shards of glass, then washed with acid. Everything was just so raw. And it never seemed to end: I felt as though I didn't have a chance to mourn one loss before I was hit with another. I am writing just to let you know that over time, things do hurt less. It's been 3 years now since my Mother passed away and nearly that since I lost my father. While I am still sad, and still miss both of my parents, the loss is not so overwhelming. The first set of holidays were the hardest. I made sure I kept busy on the anniversaries of my parents' deaths. And my memories are happy ones, although I still feel the loss. I still talk with my parents, inside my head. Sometimes, they visit me in dreams. I know that the love didn't die and that helps a lot. |
| Thanks for sharing your stories. It helps to know I'm not alone in getting hit like that. Our week was worse than I wrote, simply because 3 other deaths hit the same week- my ex-step-grandmother and my Mom's best friend both died the week before Mom and my sister in laws grandma, whom I was close to also, died the day after Mom. I was actually getting ready to go to her funeral the day after Mom's when I sort of fell apart. I just couldn't handle going into another funeral home.
Mom always had a hard time- her mom died the day before Mother's Day and her dad died 9 months later and the day before Mom's birthday. I know that always bothered her. She always teased me that she would go on a special day for me. It didn't hit me until later that she died on what would have been the day before my wedding anniversary- if I had still been married. She has visited me since... but that's ANOTHER story. Lally |
Anonymous wrote: Thanks for sharing your stories. It helps to know I'm not alone in getting hit like that. Our week was worse than I wrote, simply because 3 other deaths hit the same week- my ex-step-grandmother and my Mom's best friend both died the week before Mom and my sister in laws grandma, whom I was close to also, died the day after Mom. I was actually getting ready to go to her funeral the day after Mom's when I sort of fell apart. I just couldn't handle going into another funeral home.
Mom always had a hard time- her mom died the day before Mother's Day and her dad died 9 months later and the day before Mom's birthday. I know that always bothered her. She always teased me that she would go on a special day for me. It didn't hit me until later that she died on what would have been the day before my wedding anniversary- if I had still been married. I know exactly how you felt the day after your Mom's funeral to fall apart. A little more info on my story: On Dec 3rd my husband had just called me on the phn to tell me his Mom had died...I still had just said good bye and had the phn in my hand when it rang and it was my Aunt calling to tell me my cousin had died. My MIL and cousin died within an hour of each other. I did go to my cousin's funeral and to this day do not know how I survived it. I went by myself and she was laid out in the foyer of the church...I thought to myself "I'm going to make sure I'm not in the middle of the church so I don't have her near me." So I went in and picked a seat...as far over from the middle as I could...you guessed it. They parked her right next to me. (thanks Kathy). Anyway, too much loss. I hope you are doing better now. The weeks leading up to the Anniversary are the worst...then the day comes and it gets better after that. I have a friend whose Dad died on Christmas Eve and Mom died on New Years Eve the same holiday period...that was a really rough time to go through. I am glad our stories helped you some....Oh about the dreams....both of my parents came and said good bye to me in my dreams. |
| So sorry to hear, but can relate. There are 3 times during the year that I miss my Mom (13 years gone now) horrible: My birthday, Mothers Day and Christmas. Your not alone. |
Didn't find exactly what you're looking for? Search again here:
Custom Search
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|