Reflections
I have a lot of plaques and sayings hanging on my walls. My favorite plaque that I bought says - "There are two things we give our children. One is roots, the other is wings." My son gave me a plaque when he was a senior in high school that I very well may take to my grave. It says - "If I didn't have you as my mother, I would choose you as my friend." The next one I have on my wall is a bit lengthy, but it pretty much sums up how my mind has been going into overtime these past few weeks. Wet Oatmeal Kisses The baby is teething; the children are fighting. My husband just called and said to eat dinner without him. Okay, one of these days you'll shout: "Why don't you grow up and act your age!", and they will, or "You guys get outside and find yourselves something to do . . . and don't slam the door," and they won't. You'll straighten up their rooms neat and tidy. . . bumper stickers discarded. . . spreads tucked and smooth . . . toys displayed on the shelves . . . hangers in the closet . . . animals caged, and you'll say outloud, "Now I want it to stay that way," and it will . . . You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been too picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in it and you'll say, "Now there's a meal for company," and you'll eat it alone. You'll say, "I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around, no pantomimes, no demolition crews. Silence! Do you hear?" and you'll have it. No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti, no more anxious nights under a vaporizer tent, no more dandelion bouquets, no more iron-on patches, knotted shoestrings, tight boots. Imagine a lipstick with a point, no babysitter for New Year's Eve, washing clothes only once a week, no PTA meetings, carpools, blaring radios, Christmas presents made out of toothpicks and paste. No more wet oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy, giggles in the dark, or knees to heal. Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up?" and the silence echoing, "I did." |
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| Oh my gosh..I don't have any two legged kids but that one hit my heart. |
Drezzie's Mom wrote: Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up?" and the silence echoing, "I did." Yes, they certainly do.... too fast.... though when they're young it can't be fast enough, and now my daughter is 17 and I'd give anything for her to be tiny and asking a million questions about the sun and stars and sky and everything under it again. |
| It's hard chris but alas we do have to let them go. When they are young you wish they mature then when grown up you wish they were still small little people again. It's a no win situation.
My eldest is off to Queensland for 12 months living up there for work, it's a promotion but heck I will miss him as now we are definately empty nesters. The house grows quieter and the sadness stronger as our babies make there way in the world. 
I will miss turn the stereo down, what time are you home, clean up the mess in your room etc etc etc. |
lisaoes wrote: It's hard chris but alas we do have to let them go. When they are young you wish they mature then when grown up you wish they were still small little people again. It's a no win situation.
My eldest is off to Queensland for 12 months living up there for work, it's a promotion but heck I will miss him as now we are definately empty nesters. The house grows quieter and the sadness stronger as our babies make there way in the world. I will miss turn the stereo down, what time are you home, clean up the mess in your room etc etc etc. Our youngest graduates from graduate school in two weeks and although she has been away for 7 years mostly this time it is different. Of course that's why I have four very big dogs at home now. |
My sons left for university when they were 18....it was one of the only times that I regretted having twins...they both left home at the same time. Now at 23 I have Matt getting married in 3 weeks and Mike living in Thailand.  Our new daughter-in-law-to-be is fantastic and we all love her dearly and part of me is so excited for the wedding but I know a part of me is sad to see my little one all grown up. Where did the time go??? |
This just means it's time for grandchildren.  |
| That second plaque made me cry. I really wish I could freeze time. |
| Hi Chris,
Your post brought tears to my eyes and I can so relate. I miss having children in my home. Baking cookies and loading them up with sprinkles, networking with other parents at baseball, football and hockey games. Fund raising! I even miss that too. I especially miss the oatmeal kisses you spoke of and most of all the dandelion bouquets. I had my first while still in my teens, he moved out a few years ago and last summer my youngest moved out. I never jumped for joy and thought whooo hooo freedom at last! Nope I was lost for days and poured over their photos when they were small. It was almost as if I was grieving as the memories of their youth came flooding back. It went by too quickly! A few months ago, I applied to adopt a child. Not sure if it's right for me but I'll investigate it anyway. There are three I'm interested in, all girls 10 and up. I'll keep you guys posted as to any updates. Thanks for your post Chris as it was beautiful! Marianne |
| If you have the chance, you must stop by a bookstore and get Let Me Hold You Longer by Karen Kingsbury. It's probably in the children's section. It's a wonderful book about children growing up too fast. I promise you'll enjoy it and laugh through your tears.
http://www.karenkingsbury.com/books/chi ... YouLonger/ ...be sure to click the link that reads "Karen Says" and read how the idea of the book came about... |
Okay, Tammy, now you REALLY pushed me over the edge!!  I'm sitting here at my desk crying after reading the sample chapter from this book. I'll have to buy it for Spencer because even though he's grown and gone, he's still my little boy, and this book is geared to boys. I'll have to look for "Forever Young - 10 Tips for the Graduate" for Sarah.
Thanks!  |
| Chris, maybe you and my mom should hang out. She's got a lot of the same feelings as you and my sister and I have been out of the house for years.
She's at the point where she's thinking of adopting though! Guess you've got to fill the nest somehow! |
Mandy, you mean even after raising you two your mom is still willing to do it again??? 
Seriously, I wouldn't have the energy to do it again. Or the patience. Or the money. I'll just wait and spoil future grandchildren! |
| She asked if grandchildren were imminent and when my sister and I both said, noooooo! She said fine, adoption. Apparently, she's a glutton for punishment after the 2 of us! |
| Thanks for sharing, your post brought so many memories back as my kids (1 daughter 3 sons ) left home and started their families and now it is the grandkids that are starting their lives out in the world and I'm missing them also and gkids really are the icing on the cake no pressure raising them you just get to enjoy ,enjoy enjoy them |
| I'm right there with ya Chris. I get sappier (it is a word!!) as the years go by.
My absolute favorite baby gift (still hangs on my wall) was given to me over 30 years ago (my "baby" turns 30 this year). It's a plaque: Cooking and Cleaning can wait til tomorrow For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep
And they don't!!!!!!!!!!! My baby boy is having his own baby this summer!! My baby girl is FINALLY done with college, she called me last night to tell me she had her last class in her LAST CLASS. She doesn't actually graduate til December becuase she has to student teach next semester but the classes (and tuition) are OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today is the 5th anniversary of my Mom's death, and I can't believe she's been gone so long. Times moves so fast!! MARIANNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me?????????????????????????????????????????????????? There is no way I would start down THAT road again!!! |
| Ginny, I have that same saying too! A coworker cross-stitched it for me when I was pregnant with Sarah.
At least you see grandchildren in your future. I will at some point, but neither one of mine are even remotely near that stage. I wish your daughter good luck with her student teaching. That's what Sarah's been doing this semester and she really loves it. Makes her (and us!) feel good to know she's chosen the right path for her career. This June will also mark the 5th anniversary of my mother's death, and in August it will mark the 39th anniversary of my dad's death. I can still see and hear him in my mind, and I still miss him. I admire Marianne for wanting to adopt (and Mandy's mom, too), but I'm with Ginny on this. As much as I love my children and miss them terribly, I just could not raise another child at this point in my life. |
| Chris, my daughter is a Sarah too!!!!!!!!!! |
Okay my kids are still in diapers ...okay one is pantless, but you guys are already making me depressed! I don't want my babies to grow. My son is starting to get too big to carry around and that alone makes me cry. His innocence makes every hard day ....an easy one by the time it's time to kiss him goodnight. Nothing beats those kisses or his attempt to blow a kiss and daddy pretending to steal it before it gets to me ...resulting in lil J crying b/c he meant for it to be for me only. 
Guess this means I've got to have a lot more kids! |
| ^^^^^
It'll be over before ya know it!!!!!!!!! |
| Yep, Jo, it will be over in the blink of an eye!! Keep taking those precious pictures so you'll have tons of memories.
Ginny - Two Sarah teachers! Cool! What kind of teaching is your Sarah going for? Mine will be a Spanish teacher in either a middle or high school. |
| My Sarah is an English Major, her original plan was to teach High School English. But now she is making noises about grad school and gettting her PHD and teaching on the college level. More power to her, I think she just wants to be a "student" forever. |
Tasker's Mom wrote: I think she just wants to be a "student" forever.
That was my youngest's plan (professional student) after a two year grad program she decided she'd had enough - for now. |
| My Sarah made noises like that for awhile, too. She wanted to get her Master's in ESL, until she realized that the Bank of Mom and Dad closed after 4 years. I kept telling her to get a teaching job and let her school district pay for the advanced degree so she wouldn't be in student loan debt forever. Guess the message sank in! |
| OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY Sarah has been talking about ESL as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
 Ginny, there are just WAY too many coincidences between our girls!! |
| Wait !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here is the IMPORTANT question.......... Does your Sarah have REALLY BAD TASTE in BOYFRIENDS?????????? |
| She did in high school, and only had 1 BF during her college years, but even he was iffy. If only she'd let ME pick out her next BF!!! |
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Well, there is hope, after a string a REAL MOROONS she is now seeing a very nice young man that has a degree, a job and NO TATOOS (wish I could say the same for her). Can't remember if I shared a few years back her "elopement". She called home and told us she had gotten "married". It took me awhile to find out that she had been "married" on an Indian Reservation in the middle of the desert by some kind of "Spiritualist" and it wasn't a "real" marriage. Which was a good thing cause the guy turned out to be a TOTAL loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sigh, and people WANT daughters  |
Tasker's Mom wrote: :lol:
Well, there is hope, after a string a REAL MOROONS she is now seeing a very nice young man that has a degree, a job and NO TATOOS (wish I could say the same for her). Can't remember if I shared a few years back her "elopement". She called home and told us she had gotten "married". It took me awhile to find out that she had been "married" on an Indian Reservation in the middle of the desert by some kind of "Spiritualist" and it wasn't a "real" marriage. Which was a good thing cause the guy turned out to be a TOTAL loser!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sigh, and people WANT daughters Mine keeps telling me her choices could be worse - I think I'll keep your story to myself.  |
| Oh , I could tell you stories that would turn your hair gray........ but she's grown into a lovely responsible young women so I guess it isn't ALL BAD |
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