The Truth
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reply to: see below Date: 2008-03-01, 9:45AM PST Dear Mr. and Mrs. Average Pet Owner: Thank you for contacting us animal rescuers, shelter volunteers, and foster-homes about your inability to keep your pet. We receive an extremely high volume of inquiries and requests to accept surrendered animals (and none of us is getting paid, OK?). To help us expedite your problem as quickly as possible, please observe the following guidelines: 1. Do not say that you are "CONSIDERING finding a good home" for your pet, or that you, "feel you MIGHT be forced to," or that you "really THINK it would be better if" you unloaded the poor beast. Ninety-five percent of you have already got your minds stone-cold made up that the animal WILL be out of your life by the weekend at the latest. Say so. If you don't, I'm going to waste a lot of time giving you common-sense, easy solutions for very fixable problems, and you're going to waste a lot of time coming up with fanciful reasons why the solution couldn't possibly work for you. For instance, you say the cat claws the furniture, and I tell you about nail-clipping and scratching posts and aversion training, and then you go into a long harangue about how your husband won't let you put a scratching post in the family room, and your ADHD daughter cries if you use a squirt bottle on the cat, and your congenital thumb abnormalities prevent you from using nail scissors and etc., etc. Just say you're getting rid of the cat. 2. Do not waste time trying to convince me how nice and humane you are. Your co-worker recommended that you contact me because I am nice to animals, not because I am nice to people, and I don't like people who "get rid of" their animals. "Get rid of" is my least favorite phrase in any language. I hope someone "gets rid of" YOU someday. I am an animal advocate, not a people therapist. After all, for your ADHD daughter, you can get counselors, special teachers, doctors, social workers, etc. Your pet has only me, and people like me, to turn to in his or her need, and we are unpaid, overworked, stressed-out, and demoralized. So don't tell me this big long story about how, "We love this dog so much, and we even bought him a special bed that cost $50, and it is just KILLING us to part with him, but honestly, our maid is just awash in dog hair every time she cleans, and his breath sometimes just reeks of liver, so you can see how hard we've tried, and how dear he is to us, but we really just can't . . ." You are not nice, and it is not killing you. It is, in all probability, literally killing your dog, but you're going to be just fine once the beast is out of your sight. Don't waste my time trying to make me like you or feel sorry for you in your plight. 3. Do not try to convince me that your pet is exceptional and deserves special treatment. I don't care if you taught him to sit. I don't care if she's a beautiful Persian. I have a waiting list of battered and/or whacked-out animals who need help, and I have no room to foster-house your pet. Do not send me long messages detailing how Fido just l-o-v-e-s blankies and carries his favorite blankie everywhere, and oh, when he gets all excited and happy, he spins around in circles, isn't that cute? He really is darling, so it wouldn't be any trouble at all for us to find him a good home. Listen, we can go down to the pound and count the darling, spinning, blankie-loving beasts on death row by the dozens, any day of the week. And, honey, Fido is a six-year-old Shepherd-Lab mix. I am not lying when I tell you that big, older, mixed-breed, garden-variety dogs are almost completely unadoptable, and I don't care if they can whistle Dixie or send semaphore signals with their blankies. What you don't realize is that, though you're trying to lie to me, you're actually telling the truth: Your pet IS a special, wonderful, amazing creature. But this mean old world does not care. More importantly, YOU do not care, and I can't fix that problem. All I can do is grieve for all the exceptional animals who live short, brutal, loveless lives and die without anyone ever recognizing that they were indeed very, very special. 4. Finally, just, for pity's sake, for the animal's sake, tell the truth, and the whole truth. Do you think that if you just mumble that your cat is "high-strung," I will say, "Okey-doke! No problemo!" and take it into foster care? No, I will start a asking questions and uncover the truth, which is that your cat has not used a litter box in the last six months. Do not tell me that you "can't" crate your dog. I will ask what happens when you try to crate him, and you will either be forced to tell me the symptoms of full-blown, severe separation anxiety, or else you will resort to lying some more, wasting more of our time. And, if you succeed in placing your pet in a shelter or foster care, do not tell yourself the biggest lie of all: "Those nice people will take him and find him a good home, and everything will be fine." Those nice people will indeed give the animal every possible chance, but if we discover serious health or behavior problems, if we find that your misguided attempts to train or discipline him have driven him over the edge, we will do what you are too immoral and cowardly to do: We will hold the animal in our arms, telling him truthfully that he is a good dog or cat, telling him truthfully that we are sorry and we love him, while the vet ends his life. How can we be so heartless as to kill your pet, you ask? Do not ever dare to judge us. At least we tried. At least we stuck with him to the end. At least we never abandoned him to strangers, as you certainly did, didn't you? In short, this little old rescuer/foster momma has reached the point where she would prefer you pet owners to tell her stories like this: "We went to Wal-Mart and picked up a free pet in the parking lot a couple of years ago. Now we don't want it anymore. We're lazier than we thought. We've got no patience either. We're starting to suspect the animal is really smarter than we are, which is giving us self-esteem issues. Clearly, we can't possibly keep it. Plus, it might be getting sick; it's acting kind of funny. "We would like you to take it in eagerly, enthusiastically, and immediately. "We hope you'll realize what a deal you're getting and not ask us for a donation to help defray your costs. After all, this is an (almost) pure-bred animal, and we'll send the leftover food along with it. We get the food at Wal-Mart too, and boy, it's a really good deal, price-wise". "We are very irritated that you haven't shown pity on us in our great need and picked the animal up already. We thought you people were supposed to be humane! Come and get it today. No, we couldn't possibly bring it to you; the final episode of "Survivor " is on tonight." Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Pet Owner, for your cooperation. Location: all over |
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 . I think all rescue people would appreciate the truth so they don't waste valuable resources trying to figure it out. |
| Although many of us in rescue may THINK this way, the best thing to do is keep our opinions to ourselves. What we're forgetting is that there ARE situations where a beloved pet may have to be surrendered. Why guilt these people into keeping them when they can't care for them, dumping them in a kill shelter or tossing them out along a country road?
I love it when people tell the truth about a dog they are surrendering but never expect them to tell the entire story. Also, a dog that behaves one way in his first home may be an entirely different creature in the next. There have been very few OES surrendered to us that would have been better off staying with their original owners. People DO get into financial problems and DO get foreclosed on... They realize they made a mistake by not researching the breed well... Okay, so they made a mistake!!! Is it really fair to make them feel worse than they already do by putting this kind of shame on them? Many of the dogs we have placed were loved in their previous homes and we do stay in touch with former owners. Most are very appreciative that they have found homes better than they could ever have provided. Hopefully, none of us will ever be put into the position of having to surrender our pets. Please keep an open mind to those that have and respect their decision rather than guilt them into a worse decision. Nita Indiana-Midwest OES Rescue |
| I have to agree with Nita, this kind of crap applies sometimes but not always and folks may turn away from rescue when reading these posts. I hate seeing these attitudes because they help no one and work against the hard work many in rescue do. If they are that unhappy or frustrated with rescue, they need to change what they are doing.
Zach |
| The contents of that Craigslist posting of Marianne's has been around for a long time.
Don't forget that a lot of us deal with breeds other than OES. Let's be thankfull that the numbers of OES dogs in rescue and needing rescue are relatively small. The reasons for a single breed owner surrender are not quite the same as your standard, mixed breed dog obtained from the neighbor down the street or the local pet store. At least single breeds MIGHT have a breeder that will take the dog back...And they are more marketable. This post is absolutely bang-on when working in the area of all-breed rescue. Remember this is directed to your typical owner surrender, of a typical, mixed breed dog that the owners have obviously tired of. Single breeds have a much better chance of survival. Many people do not realize that often a dog handed over to a shelter does not survive. They may THINK that the animal is better of, when the reality is that it isn't. This is meant as an informative post with a lot of sarcasm, by a tired, worn-out rescue/shelter worker and it works fine. But on the other hand, I saw a posting on Craigslist for an 11 yr old collie-mix that the loving family no longer had time for. I offered to assist with re-homing, but got more into the actual reasons for the surrender. The family thought the dog was unhappy with the arrival of 2 new small children. She was very gentle with them, but often went off by herself to rest away from them. I made it very clear that the dog would be more unhappy adjusting to a new home at 11 years of age, and how stressful it would be for her. It was not going to be easy on the dog at all....but I was taking information down at the same time, to help them re-home. Two days later they emailed me to thank me for my help and that they were going to keep thier dog and share her with the mother-in-law who lived a few blocks over, and the dog knew all her life. I guess I did guilt them into keeping her, but they honestly thought she would be better off in rescue....and then an new home...at 11 years of age, and that it would be very easy to find a new and better family for the dog....They just thought that the rescue world was a magical place where dogs lived happily ever after....I set them straight and they kept their dog. |
Bosley's mom wrote: ...I guess I did guilt them into keeping her, but they honestly thought she would be better off in rescue....and then an new home...at 11 years of age, and that it would be very easy to find a new and better family for the dog....They just thought that the rescue world was a magical place where dogs lived happily ever after....I set them straight and they kept their dog.
I don't consider helping a family deal with the situation "guilting" them into keeping a dog. We've convinced several families to try training if behavior was the problem or shaving a dog if grooming was the problem, dogsitters if time was a problem. Some times it works, some times it doesn't. It's always encouraging when people are willing to give possible solutions a try. It's great when things can be worked out and a dog doesn't need to be rehomed. I'm glad in the case of the collie-mix it did have a happy ending. Seeing older dogs surrendered is especially sad. |
| I was thinking of the mixed, or senior dogs that I see in my area. I live in the burbs of Vancouver and the SPCA high kill shelter is a 5 min drive for me.
Last year alone, that shelter euthenized over 1800 animals. It's been that way for at least 20 years or more. Sometimes the number have been higher but never lower. There are 6 more in the Lower Mainland, which we in BC refer to as Vancouver and the surrounding areas. It's not the shelters fault but rather the publics fault that so many are euthenized. They need to know the simple truth that their dog or cats chances are slim they are going to find that "other home" they think is going to be wonderful for their pet. There are just enough enough homes and people don't spay or neuter their animals and the horrible cycle continues. I've mentioned many times on here that black dogs and cats fare the least chance of adoption. Everyone wants a kitten or puppy. They may tire of them within a year and then the chance for that animal to be adopted and find a forever home are slim. Chances are those same people that took in their pet thinking they would find a home will probably adopt another in a few years time. Those that give up their 8 year old dog because they are having a baby and may think they can't give Fido the time he deserves will probably turn around and buy that same child a dog in a few years time. In the meantime, Fido was euthenized and those people may not even be aware of his fate. This is why this post was bang on. People shouldn't be quilted into keeping a pet they may otherwise not want but many are not aware of what really happens and there are very few homes. The dog in trouble I recently posted about and tried so very hard to save was put down, so was Riveria whom I had wanted very much but was at the limit. I know I can't save them all - I know it logically. Emotionally, it's very difficult. I continue to foster for those organizations. Sometimes I am tired and don't want to take on anymore but I think of all the faces and that's probably the worst..I don't hide my head in a hole and pretend it doesn't happen..I SEE THEIR FACES and it haunts me. Taking even one or two to fosters frees up a cage and perhaps helps those at the shelter. The ones I foster are adopted from my home but all the monies go to the shelter. That post is bang on when it comes to your average dog/cat/ bunny that ends up at the shelter. Nicole thanks for stepping up and helping out that dog and the others. I applaud all those involved in rescue as it sometimes hurts the soul and other times it's so rewarding. Marianne |
I agree with bosleys mom. I do a couple of breed rescue and help at the local humane society. I am glad that there are less OES needing rescue but there are tons of other breeds and mixes. Just go to any lab or german shepherd forum and see how long the list of urgent dogs are and look at any southern shelter especially GA and see all the dogs that are gassed every day. Saving Georgia Dogs is a good place to start. My point is , that there is a lot of truth in this post as well as many folks are faced with financial problems ie foreclosures on homes, deployment overseas etc. These owners have little choice in rehoming. It is the folks that buy a GSD (for example) don't realize (??????DUH) that it needs training, will get big, will shed and will herd anything and everything so.............They call a rescue and want us to fix all of this and place the dog. Enough said. Education is the key. I have started to educate everyone I see. (do they listen, not often enough) When ever anyone approaches Guinness and I while doing therapy work I let them know he is a rescue. He is neutered (no I am not breeding him because he is a nice dog  ) He has had lots of training and I spend hours grooming him.When I took my Savannah into school (I was a school nurse) everyone said they would get a lab if they were like Savannah. Well they don't fall out trained and housebroke!! She had a lot of training and she chewed a lot of my things up in the process. Again labs chew, shed and butt tuck through the house. Would I rehome a dog for that NO but many folks do. I let folks know that there are many good dogs in shelters. Please Please go look. No there will not be 5 OES that are well behaved and groomed like my dog. But there will be many dogs that can be good companions and therapy dogs and agility dogs if you take the time to work with them. I let people know what medical problems owners face if they let their pets go unaltered. I actually am working on a booth at the local children's museum doing just that. What the costs are for a dog, grooming , obedience, adopt a dog, spay and neuter a dog. There are two sides to the story and I do see both, in the end we all in rescue have to work with these people. OK I am done  sigh.......... |
| well---dirty laundry for the rescuers-- about 20 years ago, i picked up a kitty from the shelter. she ofcourse was fixed and probably about 5 years old. i had no other animals at the time and it was just my two year old daughter and i.
the cat was vey stressed out and spent the better of three weeks under my bed--despite my ever coaxing. when she finally did emerge, she attacked the baby with any chance she got. i forgave her for this many times as i knew she was very frightened. plus she was increasingly becoming more comfortable with me. the attacts on the baby were always unwarrented as the baby never even approached the cat. the last time the cat went after the baby was the last time--i was so angry and i opened the front door and put her on the step outside. the cat walked off never to return. i was i little surprised by this--and that she really could not have cared less. |
| Peeps,
I really don't quit understand your post? You just threw the cat out? Why not rerurn to the shelter??? |
| I think she's trying to say the cat should have known better.
If it had thought to think it through, it could have seen what a great home it was in. Thus it was the cat's fault as it ruined it's chance. Instead it chose to get kicked out of it's great home and left to either get hit by a car, slowly starve to death or perhaps be poisoned..any number of things. The cat chose that. It becomes very clear to me it's the animals fault. Now back to the original post...and you can see what "rescuers" deal with day in day out...week after week, year after year all the while smiling sweetly. Marianne>> who is smiling sweetly and remains polite. |
| i said "dirty laundry" because it is a phrase that symbolizes what you are not particuliarly proud of. although up to that point i was trying to keep her in the house because i knew she wasn't happy and i felt sure she would flee. (i had her for about 2 months) i have to admit though, that when i put her on the step--i didn't care about her feelings--or if she would run away. she was being actually vicious, and i was very angry. at that moment i wanted her out of the house even though i thought she might not be there when i opened the door. i was just admiting to doing something that a person who didcates themselves to recue would abhor.
however--it does still bewilder me that she didn;t even think about staying...she was very unhappy. |
| Things were a bit different 20 years ago. They didn't have the strict "if it doesn't work out bring the pet back" rules and they didn't do the screening etc. Dogs and cats were let to roam freely much more so than today.
I know that growing up living with my parents my dogs were mostly outside, unsecured, and unaltered. I was obvious to me that you still feel guilty about what happened to that cat. Now that you are older and have several dogs I am sure you know better. |
| Cats are different people than dogs: much, much more independent, much more prone to little ticks and quirks and strong opinions. Not particularly concerned with pleasing humans. Not accepting of change. And honestly, better adapted to living on their own than a dog is. Not that this is a good choice for people to make.
I understand both peeps' sudden decision to put the cat outside and the shame/regret/resignation that followed. However protective you feel of your animals, it really is nothing to your need/desire/instinct to protect your child. And in that moment, it came down to a cat/baby thing. The baby would have to win, especially in unprovoked attacks on a toddler. Sometimes we make a mistake that we regret so much that it changes us forever and actually does push us to become better people. That said, if I had to choose, I would choose my kids over my dogs without hesitation. Which is one reason we thought long and hard about just what kind of dog to choose for our family. I didn't want to be in the position of bringing home a puppy that would not work out. Really, the only 2 possiblities that I considered as reasons for not working out is if the dog caused bad allergies (hubby and one child have asthma triggered by allergies) or viscious temperment--ie, unsafe around my children or other children. |
| i went to the shelter to get a kitten. but when i saw that poor cat--i knew she would be hard pressed to get a home, so i took her. if it were a dog that was in the back of a crate growling at me--i would have thought, yikes! too dangerous--especially with a child in the mix. it didn't occur to me that a cat could be dangerous--that was my first mistake. i didn't think or want to take her back to the shelter--that was the second mistake. putting her outside to fend for herself was in a "last straw" moment of anger---third mistake. iwish it worked out differently.
most all of the animals that i have ever had over the years have either been from a shelter, an unwanted pet that came to my knowledge, or a stray. Peeps is my first pedigree. here are some folks that live me now, that were previously unwanted for whatever reason by their former owners: three cats (anish, yips, mouse) ironically, the first two work well in the barn catching mice--but the one we called mouse (because she was so small and malnurished) refusses to even step a paw outside! keeshond mix (bat man) amazon parrot (kiki) ex race horse due to injury (guy) old brood mare with major health problems (playful) we took when she was 32 and not expected to last long, she'll be 40 years old this spring! the rest of the menagerie that grace our presence were my own doing! 32 critters in all! i hate when i count them up!!!!! we recently lost a little beagle that my duaghter found on the side of a road. she brought her to me because she thought to herself, my mom likes beagles! she was the sweetest girl and we called her peppermint patty, because she had a big nose. she won the hearts of everyone, including batman, and he hates everybody that has 4 leggs and gets attention. i could never work in resque--no guts for it. i try to do the ostridge thing. |
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